That's Aloud!

"Why do you do what you do? What was the inspiration behind it?"

I get asked these questions a lot, so I decided to go ahead and answer them, Story Whisperer style. This bonus episode is a throwback to my season one storytelling format, a narrative form "about me" for the podcast, and a fun foray into my mischievous past as a compulsive exaggerator. Oh, and to celebrate the spookiest season of all, there's a little witchcraft, a lot of magic, and even an inter-dimensional portal involved. Enjoy!

You are one commitment away from the life you truly want--a life that is successful by YOUR definition, and nobody else's; a life that brings you joy, happiness, and all of your core desired feelings. But the first step is, of course, the hardest. Today's guest, Syed S. Karhani, is here to share with you what that first step is, and why so many of us struggle with it. 

HIGHLIGHT REEL:

0:40 - Success is not success without happiness

3:00 - The Desire Map by Danielle LaPorte

4:50 - Fear of weakness, fear of authority, fear of self

8:50 - Believing is seeing

9:15 - The Indian Training Company

12:00 - The secret to success

14:00 - Cultural bias in context

21:15 - We are the hero of our own story--and the villain, and everything else 

23:50 - Is there a "real you"?

24:55 - The first step to changing your life

25:45 - Imposter syndrome & the mentality of The Fool

31:10 - The key to relationship success

33:40 - Interrogating cultural norms & standards

40:40 - Thrive where you're at

43:45 - 1 commitment away

Watch it on video! https://youtu.be/kGGNmrcTlTg

Have you ever had one of those moments where you feel the final puzzle piece fall into place, and suddenly, BAM! There's the full picture, in all its technicolor glory? That's what happened when I decided to to take things one step further in season three and help people tell the next chapter of their story, the story that's going to take them exactly where they want to be. I hoped it would kick things up a notch, but I could never have imagined where it would take me, and my guests -- even in just the first few episodes! Listen to find out why I'm convinced that I've discovered the missing ingredient that's going to take me, That's Aloud, and all of you, dear listeners, to the next level. 

How do you break the cycle of generational abuse? Dawn Long, host of the Unstoppable Leadership podcast, is here to help you let the skeletons out of your family closet, find forgiveness, be a beacon of light for others, and know that you are loved.  

I hope you enjoy this, the final episode of season 2. Please come back October 1st to find out how I'm taking story coaching one step further in season 3!

Highlight Reel

1:20 - Christmastown USA 

2:10 - Shame thrives in darkness 

4:30 - Science of the mind 

5:30 - They were only 8 years old

6:00 - Perpetuating the generational pattern of abuse 

10:00 - Telling your story turns the tide 

13:00 - The problem with locking up sick people 

18:30 - How to reduce crime 

22:50 - The road to here 

24:55 - Judge not 

28:00 - Finding forgiveness 

31:00 - You are loved, and deserve love 

36:00 - Follow the trail of breadcrumbs back to YOU

Watch it on video! https://youtu.be/c2mvWZBjlaw

We all have different gifts. Some have the gift of empathy, and other have the gift of objectivity. Today's guest, Joel Nest, host of the Ruck Up and Debunking Conspiracy Theories podcasts, has the latter. If he didn't, there's no way he could do what he does as a security contractor working in some of the world's most dangerous places. 

Highlight Reel:

1:30 - Survival as recreation

4:00 - Finding himself

8:00 - Becoming a paramilitary security contractor

11:00 - Feeling more at home abroad

11:30 - The African boy

14:50 - The problem with well-meaning white people

15:30 - Why security?

19:10 - Joe's moral code

20:40 - Making the impossible choices

29:00 - Mental control

32:00 - Learning to put your oxygen mask on first

37:00 - Emotional responsibility 

42:40 - The gift of detachment

Watch it on video: https://youtu.be/RAejjkeluDE

Trauma is powerful stuff. It does strange and surprising things to our memories, and can help us discover abilities we didn't know we had until we needed them. Trauma, however, is not a radioactive spider. It doesn't actually *give* us these superpowers, it merely sets the stage for us to discover them. Listen as Arien Smith, founder of Uncover Your Joy, shares a story so incredible even he has trouble wrapping his brain around it (a very common feeling among survivors), and offers insight after actionable insight for survivors who are ready to become thrivers.

Highlight Reel:

2:00 - The parts of the story Arien rarely tells, and why

2:50 - Sex trafficking is happening right under your nose

5:00 - Confronting the weird shit

6:00 - The magical realism of trauma processing

12:00 - Trauma bonding, codependence, & addiction

16:00 - If it weren't for your maturity, none of this would have happened

19:00 - Existing for someone else's pleasure

19:15 - Near Death Experiences and grieving for yourself

24:00 - Maybe I'll become a mermaid

25:25 - Superpowers & trauma

35:00 - You don't have to recapture every memory to heal

36:00 - Validate your experience 

48:00 - You will find your path through this

Watch it on video! https://youtu.be/WHyvowxpPdY

Have you ever gotten back in touch with an old friend from high school, only to discover that the two of you had lived eerily parallel lives? That's what happened to Janine and I when she read my book, Melting Ivory, and decided it was time to share the story not even her family has heard. 

Highlight Reel:

0:50 - If the trolls hate it, you know you've made it

6:00 - Daddy issues

8:30 - Giving back by working as a trauma counselor

9:10 - Janine's dream: to be a doctor

12:15 - The green-eyed monster

13:03 - Pregnant at 17

17:30 - Verbal abuse

17:10 - The second child arrives

19:50 - Stockholm syndrome

22:50 - I just don't care anymore

24:50 - That's gonna be me

25:45 - You have no power over me

28:20 - Don't hurt mommy!

30:30 - Rediscovering yourself

33:00 - Sunlight: the best disinfectant

35:45 - Letting go of the anger

40:00 - You can't fix anyone, and no one can fix you

42:00 - Avoiding the double-down

46:30 - Nobody else gets a vote

49:20 - No one is ever stuck

Watch it on video! https://youtu.be/SxxhaHYyG60

Picture this: you grew up in foster care after your father gave you away, telling you your mother never wanted you and she had no living family. But just LAST WEEK, you learned that it was all a lie. You were wanted all along. That's what happened to today's guest, Unique'Ka, queen of self-reinvention and author of The Glow Up. Listen to hear her incredible journey from outcast to leader.

Highlight Reel:

1:05 - Unique'Ka's terrible and wonderful discovery

2:00 - Family re-found

3:20 - The Documentary: The Glow-Up

4:00 - The mother of all searches

5:00 - An outcast

5:30 - A sense of belonging

6:00 - She didn't know her own story

6:40 - Discovering she was wanted all along

7:40 - Self-transformation

8:30 - Practicing forgiveness

9:30 - The thing Unique'Ka has a hard time forgiving

11:30 - How do you get to forgiveness?

12:00 - Wanting answers

12:45 - You can't go skipping steps

13:40 - Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die

14:40 - Don't lose hope

16:00 - The power of sharing your story

17:15 - Tools for self-reinvention

17:30 - Mindset and paradigm shifts

20:00 - If it's not working for you, change it!

21:45 - The fast cash trap

27:00 - You can succeed from right where you're at. Start now!

It's hard enough growing up black in this country. But layer on top of that being born into a body that doesn't reflect your gender identity or sexual orientation, and you've got yourself a recipe for a heaping helping of shame and blame. So it's no wonder Yannick Taylor, a.k.a. The Priestess (@CWTPriestess), found it challenging to speak out or find help when she found herself in an abusive relationship. To save you the same heartache she suffered, she's sharing her most actionable tips, tricks, and tools for working through the emotional hurricane of leaving an abusive relationship and the recovery process that follows. 

Highlight Reel:

0:40 - Conversations with the priestess

3:30 - Multidimensional code switching 

5:00 - When "the one" has a dark side

6:00 - The one-two punch of shame and blame

8:30 - The emotional cut is the deepest

10:45 - In the eye of the storm

12:15 - The mind/body connection

13:30 - Coping tools for PTSD

15:30 - Tryna scare 'em off

18:00 - When to disclose medical info

20:00 - Taking off the (metaphorical) mask

21:30 - The main message: don't let your feelings hold you back from doing the right thing

22:20 - The best breakup conversation is NO breakup conversation

23:45 - Don't complain, don't explain

26:00 - The difference between a boundary and an ultimatum

27:45 - The cycle of justification

29:45 - You gotta get a new game

31:00 - Find your closure alone

32:00 - Good grief

36:00 - Get curious, get compassionate

37:00 - Creating a self-care routine that works for YOU

It takes two to stay, but only one to walk away. Dr. Denise Ritter-Berardini, voice and performance coach and podcast hostess, learned this lesson the hard way when she packed up her kids and drove away from her first husband, a closeted alcoholic who drank away their family home. Listen to her incredible story of faith, family, and resilience, and get inspired to take your own leap of faith. As long as you're doing it for the right reasons, the universe WILL catch you.

Highlight Reel:

1:15 - Why podcasts are wonderful

1:50 - Life with a closeted alcoholic

2:30 - The preacher's daughter, all grown up

3:00 - The truth will set you free

3:30 - Why we tell ourselves a "safer story" than the truth

4:00 - How have you hid this for so long?

4:30 - Children are often our wake-up call

6:15 - You're not staying "for the kids"

9:30 - Losing it all to gain freedom

10:40 - The big nudge from the universe

12:20 - "Camping" in the van

12:50 - The big reveal

14:12 - The universe knows what it's doing

24:25 - The moment we let go of what we think we want is the moment we get what we need

30:30 - Making the choice to walk away

34:00 - The danger of enabling (aka managing) someone else's addiction

37:00 - The escalation of abuse

38:40 - How to prevent the double-down when supporting someone in an abusive situation

40:20 - Take the leap; the universe will catch you!