Hayley has... issues... I think that's safe to say. But what better way to expose those issues than to shove a microphone in her face and just letter her speak about all the weird things that gives her that history horn. This time around we're going back to the ways of old and how we would punish criminals for their crimes or extract information from persons of interest and putting them into a tier list! Because even though Hayley has issues, it turns out we all do too.

From punishing women for passing rumours around to village to interrogating prisoners for information by forcing their back passage onto a pyramid shaped block slowly and strapping the accused to "The Rack" in an effort to stretch them out like a length of silly putty (yes I am also disappointed that "The Rack" has nothing to do with boobs), join Hayley this week as she explores the torturous world of history's strangest and most punishing torture devices and places them into a tier list from least to most effective methods of torturing an individual.

This episode was hosted by Hayley O'Connor and joined by Arron Keegan and Conor Daly. The intro and outro music - Strollin' Along - was recorded by David Renda. Join our Discord server and follow us on social media by following the links below!

Discord: ⁠https://discord.gg/ZScNqT8mP2 ⁠

TikTok: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thatsoldnewspodcast ⁠

Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/thatsoldnewspodcast/ ⁠

Twitter/X: ⁠x.com/oldnewscast

⁠========

Chapters:

(00:00) Intro

(00:35) Episode Start

(02:22) Scold's Bridle

(05:55) Heretic's Fork

(18:08) Thumb Screws

(20:28) Spanish Boot

(25:45) The Rack

(28:38) The Scavenger's Daughter

(32:59) Judas Cradle

(39:45) Catherine Wheel/Breaking Wheel

(43:25) The Pear of Anguish

(51:52) The Tier List and Post Show Banter

What do bubble wrap, the slinky toy, and Viagra have in common? Apart from an entertaining night at home alone, they all share in the fact that they were not originally invented to be what they eventually came to be! If anyone remembers an old episode of Hayley's, you may have learned that the chainsaw - yes, that tool used to level and topple towering trees - was first invented to help ease the process of complicated child births for pregnant women by cutting through bone and widening the pelvis, allowing for the easier passage of the baby from their mother's womb.

That's what we're doing today! Looking at all those wonderful modern day inventions that began their lives as something entirely different. Some of them you can see what they were thinking, and can see the happy accident that created something so iconic, and some will leave you scratching your head wondering how they managed to create something so different from the mission statement that an entire rebrand was necessary just so save face.

So join the gang this week as Quiz Master Granda Keego hosts his new series "Reinventing the Wheel", where we take some of history's greatest inventions and turn back the pages of time to see what they were originally designed to do! Play along at home, and see if you can beat Conor and Hayley in this new game show! Good luck!

This episode was hosted by Arron Keegan, Hayley O'Connor, and Conor Daly. The intro and outro music - Strollin' Along - was recorded by David Renda. Join our Discord and follow us on social media by following the links below!

Discord: ⁠https://discord.gg/ZScNqT8mP2⁠

TikTok: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thatsoldnewspodcast ⁠

Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/thatsoldnewspodcast/ ⁠

Twitter/X: ⁠x.com/oldnewscast

In the last episode we saw Napoleon make an uncharacteristic mistake with his inability to win a decisive victory over the Russians at Eylau, allowing the Russians to retreat and fight another day. While they would be found again and defeated at Friedland, the campaign was a bloody affair. Napoleon won yet another victory over the coalitions formed against him, but not one without cost. And it is that very cost of the war that leads us into this episode.

With the Continental System now including the likes of Prussia and Russia, the only real way for Britain to continue trading with the mainland was to do so through their oldest ally - Portugal. Napoleon, keenly aware of this, would launch his invasion of the nation, securing it with little effort as the royal family fled to their colony in Brazil after refusing to surrender to the French invader. With it now secure, not many were ready for what came next.

French garrisons, said to free up Spanish garrisons to allow for the Spanish armies to aid in the invasion of Portugal, turned on their allies. Within months, Spain had fallen to Napoleon in a surprise coup that would see the Spanish royal family forced to abdicate their throne in favour of Napoleon's brother, Joseph, being named King of Spain. And this action, taken in haste as a justification to ensure the security of his southern flank from British invasion, would spell disaster for his empire. For as soon as Austria first heard of France's struggles in the Iberian peninsula - they formed the Fifth Coalition with Britain, and would deliver Napoleon's first decisive military defeat of his career.

This episode was hosted by Arron Keegan and joined by Hayley O'Connor. The intro and outro music - Strollin' Along - was recorded by David Renda. Join our Discord and follow us on social media by following the links below!

Discord: ⁠https://discord.gg/ZScNqT8mP2⁠

TikTok: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thatsoldnewspodcast⁠

Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/thatsoldnewspodcast/⁠

Twitter/X: ⁠x.com/oldnewscast⁠

========

Sources & Further Reading:

- Broers, Michael, "Napoleon: The Spirit of the Age", (2018).

- Chandler, David G., "Napoleon's Marshals", (1987).

- De Neef, Jonas, "Devils, Daggers, and Death: Eyewitness accounts of French officers and soldiers during the Peninsular War, 1807-1814", (2022).

- Dodge, Theodore A., "Warfare in the Age of Napoleon Volume 3: The Battle of Austerlitz, the War of the Fourth Coalition, and the Early Peninsular Campaigns, 1805-1809", (2011).

- Griffith, Paddy, "French Napoleonic Infantry Tactics 1792-1815", (2007).

- Griffith, Robert (ed.), "Armies and Enemies of Napoleon 1789-1815", (2022).

- Harvey, Robert, "The War of Wars: The Epic Struggle Between Britain and France, 1789-1815", (2007).

- Johnson, Paul, "Napoleon", (2003).

- McNab, Chris, "Napoleon's Military Machine: Operations Manual", (2019).

- Mikaberidze, Alexander, "The Napoleonic Wars: A Global History", (2020).

- Roberts, Andrew, "Napoleon the Great", (2015).

- Zamoyski, Adam, "Napoleon: The Man Behind the Myth", (2019).

========

Chapters:

(00:00) Intro

(08:13) Recap

(14:32) Invasion of Portugal

(30:30) The Dos de Mayo Uprising

(43:45) Iberia in Revolt

(47:21) The War of the Fifth Coalition

(53:33) The Battle of Aspern-Essling: Napoleon's First Major Battlefield Defeat

(01:06:35) The Battle of Wagram: Napoleon's Comeback

(01:15:16) End of the War of the Fifth Coalition

(01:17:56) Post Show Banter

“We are here to laugh at the odds and live our lives so well that Death will tremble to take us.” - Charles Bukowski.

There have been quite a lot of deaths through history, (I know, it's a shocking revelation to me too!) but a lot of the ones we read about evoke certain emotions of us. National figures fighting in defiant last stands for their cause can invoke feelings of great national pride and patriotism, while more personal figures dying in horrible conditions or surrounded by their loved ones invoke those feelings of heart-wrenching pain and sadness.

But then, throughout history, there are those deaths who do not fit into this binary. They don't even fit into the spectrum between those extremes. Instead, they sit in the little asterisk hiding away at the end of the sentence. The one that has the little addendum underneath the graph that says "Results shown do not include those deaths that have you bent over in fits of laughter". And that's what the gang is looking at today.

Join us this week as we explore some of the wackiest deaths in history, ranging from famous last words that proved to be a great irony only seconds later, to lawyers showing off impressive party tricks that end up sending them careening towards the pavement from the 24th floor of a building at Mach "Whoopsie-Daisy", to prominent figures of the Holy Roman Empire going for a surprise skinny-dip in a vat of the town's excrement, and many more hilarious ends in between! If you don't leave this episode laughing out loud and scratching your head thinking "What the Hell were they thinking?" then we've done something wrong!

This episode was hosted by Arron Keegan, Hayley O'Connor, and Conor Daly. The intro and outro music - Strollin' Along - was recorded by David Renda. Join our Discord server and follow us on social media by following the links below!

Discord: ⁠https://discord.gg/ZScNqT8mP2 ⁠

TikTok: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thatsoldnewspodcast ⁠

Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/thatsoldnewspodcast/ ⁠

Twitter/X: ⁠x.com/oldnewscast

When you think of some of the greatest footballers to ever play the game, who comes to mind? Do you think of recent players at the pinnacle of their game like Lionel Messi or Cristiano Ronaldo? Do you perhaps turn the clock back and look to the legends of the game like Pelé or Diego Maradona? Or do you instead look to those players who perform crucial roles but often go overlooked like Michael Carrick or Thomas Müller? Or do you look to those who defined over a decade of football, whose name was on the lips of every top manager and player as they all tried desperately to recruit him for their team... despite never playing a single professional game in his life?

Join Conor this week as he recounts the tale of Carlos Kaiser, the Brazilian born con artist who was so good at the game that he simply never stepped foot on a pitch for a regular match and yet convinced over a dozen clubs to sign him. You'll hear about his poor roots growing up in poverty in Brazil, how a lie spiralled into him becoming one of the most recognisable names in football during his "career", and how he would shirk the phone calls of every manager and player in the profession on account of his mobile phone being nothing more than a children's toy phone that he carried with him everywhere and pretended to be constantly busy with calls from other clubs looking to buy him for ludicrous amounts of cash.

You don't want to miss this.

This episode was hosted by Conor Daly and joined by Arron Keegan and Hayley O'Connor. The intro and outro music - Strollin' Along - was recorded by David Renda. Join our Discord server and follow us on social media by following the links below!

Discord: https://discord.gg/ZScNqT8mP2

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thatsoldnewspodcast

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thatsoldnewspodcast/

Twitter/X: x.com/oldnewscast

Born 21 September 1971, David Phillip Vetter was born with a hereditary disease which would affect his entire life - severe combined immunodeficiency (SCID). It is a rare disease that involves defective antibody responses and results in an impaired immune system. The immune system is so compromised that it is effectively considered absent, leading to patients suffering immensely from something as simple as the common cold which could, and very often does, turn lethal.

David's parents, Carol Ann and David Joseph, previously had a son who was also born with the disease and sadly passed away at seven months old. Doctors informed them that if they have another boy there was a 50/50 chance that he would be born with SCIDs, and unfortunately the coin toss landed on the wrong side. David was immediately placed in a sterilized cocoon bed prepared especially for him, and he would spend the rest of his life in this plastic bubble with media outlets cruelly referring to him as "Bubble Boy".

Join Hayley this week as she recounts the incredible life of young David Vetter. Learn everything from the time of his birth to his unfortunate passing just 12 years later, including how objects were heavily sterilised to rid them entirely of germs, how NASA helped to develop his own containment suit that would allow him to leave the house, and how his passing resulted in him saving the lives of countless children who would have been born with SCIDs.

This episode was hosted by Hayley O'Connor and joined by Arron Keegan and Conor Daly. The intro and outro music - Strollin' Along - was recorded by David Renda. Join our Discord server and follow us on social media by following the links below!

Discord: https://discord.gg/ZScNqT8mP2

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thatsoldnewspodcast

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thatsoldnewspodcast/

Twitter/X: x.com/oldnewscast ========

Songs used in order:

1) Ji Pyeongkeyon, "Sad Romance", (2002).

2) Barry White, "Can't Get Enough of Your Love Babe", (1974).

========

Sources & Further Reading:

- Grabowski & Tortora, "Principles of Anatomy and Physiology" (1993).

- McVivker, Steve, "Bursting the Bubble" (1997).

- Murphy, Mary Ada, "Bursting the Bubble: The Tortured Life and Untimely Death of David Vetter" (2019).

- PBS, "David Phillip Vetter" (2006).

- PBS, "David Vetter's Life, and Treatments for Immunodeficiency"

- Retro Report, "The Boy in the Bubble" (2016).

- Roane, Kit, "The Boy in the Bubble" (2015).

- The American Experience, "David Vetter's Sister"

Napoleon, the victor of Austerlitz and conqueror of the Holy Roman Empire, had little time to rest on his incredible achievements. While the Russians were resoundingly defeated in December 1805, they were not quite out of the war just yet. With enough space to retreat back into friendly territory, they were set to regroup and strike again - but without allies on the continent, this would be a difficult task.

To their luck, and soon to be to their disaster, the Kingdom of Prussia, who remained neutral during the War of the Third Coalition, had declared war on France in 1806. The shy and reserved Prussian King Friedrich Wilhelm III was convinced by Prussia's war party, who found an ally in his wife Queen Louise of Mecklenberg-Strelitz, to halt France's advance through Europe once and for all - but they should have listened to calmer heads in the Prussian army, who advised caution and warned of the threats to Prussia's position at the time war was being considered.

They would soon be proven right, as Napoleon would see to their army within days of crossing into Prussian territory at the Battle of Jena-Auerstadt. But the Prussians would not give up entirely, as in 1807 the Russians had finally mobilised again and were ready to strike once again. While this war will display the brilliance of Napoleon's Corps system, it will also greatly challenge it...

This episode was hosted by Arron Keegan and joined by Hayley O'Connor. The intro and outro music - Strollin' Along - was recorded by David Renda. Join our Discord and follow us on social media by following the links below!

Discord: https://discord.gg/ZScNqT8mP2

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thatsoldnewspodcast

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thatsoldnewspodcast/

Twitter/X: x.com/oldnewscast

========

Sources & Further Reading:

- Broers, Michael, "Napoleon: The Spirit of the Age", (2018).

- Chandler, David G., "Napoleon's Marshals", (1987).

- Dodge, Theodore A., "Warfare in the Age of Napoleon Volume 3: The Battle of Austerlitz, the War of the Fourth Coalition, and the Early Peninsular Campaigns, 1805-1809", (2011).

- Griffith, Paddy, "French Napoleonic Infantry Tactics 1792-1815", (2007).

- Griffith, Robert (ed.), "Armies and Enemies of Napoleon 1789-1815", (2022).

- Harvey, Robert, "The War of Wars: The Epic Struggle Between Britain and France, 1789-1815", (2007).

- Johnson, Paul, "Napoleon", (2003).

- McNab, Chris, "Napoleon's Military Machine: Operations Manual", (2019).

- Mikaberidze, Alexander, "The Napoleonic Wars: A Global History", (2020).

- Roberts, Andrew, "Napoleon the Great", (2015).

- Zamoyski, Adam, "Napoleon: The Man Behind the Myth", (2019).

========

Chapters:

We love a good quiz. Is there anything to be said for a quiz? They can be some great fun. Get some friends together, pull up a real doozy of a question sheet, and see which of your friends is the most prolific and knee deep in the lore of My Little Pony... just me? That's embarrassing...

But here at That's Old News, we had to look up how to spell "fun" in the dictionary just so I could write up that last paragraph. No, here we must do everything serious. We are all in constant competition with each other in an attempt to prove who is the historical mastermind and who's still playing with their Vikings colouring book... okay that sounds pretty cool, BUT STILL. But what better way to find out exactly who that intellectual powerhouse is than to do a quiz of 100 history questions!

So join us this week as the gang tackles their hardest challenge to date - sitting an exam. But we couldn't simply just answer our own tests, that would leave too much room for cheating! So we've brought in a VERY special guest to oversee the whole operation. Tune in to meet her!

And we want to hear from you! How did you do in the quiz yourself? Did you beat the champion, and take the crown for yourself? Play along with us!

Quiz: https://quizquestions.uk/history-quiz

This episode was hosted by Arron Keegan, Hayley O'Connor, and Conor Daly. The intro and outro music - Strollin' Along - was recorded by David Renda. Join our Discord and follow us on social media by following the links below!

Discord: ⁠https://discord.gg/ZScNqT8mP2⁠

TikTok: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thatsoldnewspodcast ⁠

Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/thatsoldnewspodcast/ ⁠

Twitter/X: ⁠x.com/oldnewscast

========

Chapters:

(00:00) Intro

(00:29) Episode Start

(06:10) Round One: Ancient History

(23:50) Round Two: Medieval History

(42:18) Round Three: Early Modern History

(01:00:29) Round Four: 19th Century History

(01:16:35) Round Five: 20th Century History

(01:31:44) The Results!

Have you ever seen those crazy quizzes online where the website asks you what your shoe size is and it can tell you what figures from history you'd invite to your birthday party? Just me? Well, they exist, and we did two of them!

The first quiz is far more serious, asking us some tough questions but with terrible answers to determine which historical dictator we are. Now if you were to ask Hayley and Conor which historical figure they though Keego was, they'd say he had a fondness for square moustaches and failed art schools. But Google knows best as we all know when we have a lingering cough and consult Dr Google himself only to find out we're dying of a disease that affects 1 in 1 billion people. Play along and let us know what you ended up getting!

https://www.quizexpo.com/which-evil-dictator-are-you

The second one we simply cannot figure out how telling the site what our favourite colour is and which of these amorphous blobs most appeals to us tells us which historic figure we most resemble but if the lady in the funny smelling tent was able to tell me what my future would hold by looking into a crystal ball that hadn't seen a lick of water since it was bought and charging me €20 for the pleasure then I can't see how this could go wrong. Try it yourself and tell us who you got! https://www.buzzfeed.com/katangus/which-famous-historical-figure-were-you-in-a-past

This episode was hosted by Arron Keegan, Hayley O'Connor, and Conor Daly. The intro and outro music - Strollin' Along - was recorded by David Renda. Join our Discord and follow us on social media by following the links below!

Discord: https://discord.gg/ZScNqT8mP2

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thatsoldnewspodcast

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thatsoldnewspodcast/

Twitter/X: x.com/oldnewscast

The entire point of this episode was an attempt by Conor to mentally break Keego, and it can confidently be concluded that he succeeded in spectacular fashion.

Deadliest Warrior was... a show. That's the nicest thing I can think to say about it. It sought to pit history's deadliest warriors (go figure) against each other in an attempt to determine who was history's... well, deadliest warrior. On paper it sounds great. Who is history's best general? The most competent guerrilla fighter? The greatest hand-to-hand fighter? But that's where the praise ends, because how they go about proving it is not only an exercise in "How cool can I make this show so people switch off and don't question anything?" but just serves as an excuse by the hosts to play around with some of history's most iconic weapons.

Normally this would be fine, but unfortunately for viewers of the show this attempt at inflating the cool factor leads to questionable conclusions and outright historically incorrect assertions. Some examples? I thought you'd never ask!

- Ireland lost the War of Independence in 1920.

- Who is the better fighter? The Viet Cong or the Waffen SS?

- Napoleon Bonaparte being entirely incompetent with regard to light infantry and guerrilla warfare.

- The iconic tools of the Irish Republican Army being a slingshot and a flamethrower.

- SWAT teams promoting unit cohesion while a simulation pits them in an "every man for himself" scenario.

And much, MUCH more.

So join Conor and Keego this week as they delve into the horrifying world of the Deadliest Warrior to conclude once and for all if this show has some merit after all, or if we both wasted four hours of our life bashing our heads against a wall trying to forget everything we just subjected ourselves to... God help us.

This episode was hosted by Arron Keegan and Conor Daly. The intro and outro music - Strollin' Along - was recorded by David Renda. Join our Discord and follow us on social media by following the links below!

Discord: https://discord.gg/ZScNqT8mP2

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thatsoldnewspodcast

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thatsoldnewspodcast/

Twitter/X: x.com/oldnewscast

========

Chapters:

(00:00) Intro

(00:27) Episode Start

(04:58) The IRA vs. the Taliban

(19:49) GSG 9 vs. SWAT

(39:50) Waffen SS vs. Viet Cong

(56:45) Napoleon Bonaparte vs. George Washington

(01:48:04) Rating Deadliest Warrior