The 12/10 by Nadja Olivera

There are ninety days left in this year.

Most of us will run them down to nothing. Halloween, then Christmas, then January first, where we finally lock in. Until we wait for spring. Until it is Christmas again. And the loop repeats.

Not this year.

In this episode I am talking about what I realized on my flight home from Greece, journaling at 30,000 feet, connecting with the woman I want to be on December 31st. What she looks like. How she feels in her body. What she did to get there. And working my way backwards from her, not toward her.

Because the difference between the women who actually get what they want and the women who keep starting over on Monday is not talent. Not luck. Not genetics. It is one thing: they kept going when it stopped being fun. They did not quit right before the identity shift happened.

This episode is also the story of how a conversation with my friend Jenny turned into something I was not planning. A free three hour live workshop on October 3rd. Because why lock in alone when we can do it together?

In this episode:

• Why most high achieving women do not have a starting problem, they have a week two, week three, week four problem
• Why quitting usually happens right before the actual shift and why that makes it feel so justified
• The neurological reason change is hard in the beginning and exactly when it stops being hard
• The ritual I do every time I go somewhere new: who do I want to be in this place?
• How I connected with my December 31st self on that flight and what she told me that surprised me
• The difference between a habit tracker and actual identity work
• Why discipline is self-trust in action and how locking in on small things teaches you to trust yourself in big ones
• The six step framework I am walking through live on October 3rd

Join the free LOCK THE FCK IN WOKSHOP:

October 3rd, 3 to 6pm Spain time. 2 to 5pm UK. 9am to 12pm Eastern.

Sign up here: https://v2.stan.store/twelveoutoften/p/ltfi-workshop

48 hour replay available if you cannot be there live.

Find me here:

Instagram: @nadjaloveslife

DM me AUDIT for the free 12/10 Life Audit.
DM me TWELVE to work together.

This episode is different.

No framework. No science. No stories.

Just a letter. One I wrote for you. And for me.

Listen to this whenever you doubt yourself. Whenever the old version no longer fits and the new one has not fully arrived yet. Whenever you need someone to see you, all the versions you have ever been, and say: you are exactly where you are supposed to be.

Because honoring where you have been is the foundation for where you are going. We do not want to go anywhere from a place of insufficiency. We want to go from fullness. From wholeness. From deep radical recognition of everything we already are.

In this episode I read a love letter. Three parts. To the woman I was, to the woman I am, and to the woman I am becoming.

To the woman I was: the one who said yes when she meant no, who carried shame she was never meant to carry, who hurt herself because she did not yet know how to be that big in the world. Who always knew there was more and never stopped believing it even when she could not see it.

To the woman I am: the one in between. Uncertain. Becoming. Extraordinary right now exactly as she is.

To the woman I am becoming: the one I can already feel pulling me forward.

This one is for you. Write your own letter after you listen. Thank yourself for who you were. Celebrate yourself for who you are. And invite the woman in that you are becoming.

She is listening.

Find me here:

Instagram: @nadjaloveslife

DM me AUDIT for the free 12/10 Life Audit.
DM me TWELVE if you are ready to do this work with support.

You do not need a DUI. You do not need a divorce. You do not need a diagnosis. You do not need to lose everything before you are allowed to change something that is not working.

You can just be done.

My guest today is Sarah Anderson, attorney, D1 athlete, mom, wife, and what she calls a booze free bitch. From the outside she had everything together. From the inside she was drinking close to a bottle of vodka a day, going to work, going to the gym, paying the bills, showing up. And slowly, quietly losing herself.

Seven years ago she stopped protecting her drinking habit and started fighting for her life instead. Today she has built a life so extraordinary that alcohol has genuinely nothing to offer her anymore.

This conversation is for every woman in the grey area. The one who does not look like what she thinks an addict looks like. The one who is still functioning, still showing up, still telling herself it is not that bad. And the one who suspects, somewhere in her body, that the numbing is costing her more than she knows.

In this episode:

• What it actually looks like to be a high achieving woman whose drinking is invisible to everyone around her including herself
• How the capable, have it together identity makes it harder to see and admit what is happening
• The grey area: why you do not need rock bottom permission to change something that is not working
• The connection between numbing and self abandonment and why the less you abandon yourself the less you need to escape yourself
• Pink wine culture and how alcohol has been aggressively marketed to women specifically
• What it actually means to become a non-drinker versus a drinker who cannot drink
• How to build a life so full and so real that alcohol stops being interesting
• What Sarah wants every woman in the grey area to hear

Find Sarah:

Instagram: @theboozefreebitch

Find her Website here.

Ready to look at what you might be numbing?

DM me AUDIT on Instagram @nadjaloveslife and I will send you the free 12/10 Life Audit directly.

And if you are ready to do the real work with support, DM me TWELVE and let's talk.

Find me here:

Instagram: @nadjaloveslife

A goldfish always grows to the size of its tank.

Put it in a small bowl and it stays small. Put it in a pond and it grows to match its environment. You are no different. The question is not how big can you get. The question is: how big is your tank right now?

Jim Rohn, the man who actually mentored Tony Robbins, said you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. And Harvard researchers tracking nearly five thousand people over twenty years proved it scientifically. Happiness is contagious up to three degrees of separation. The people in your circle are shaping your biology whether you choose it or not.

In this episode I am going deep on the most underrated reinvention tool there is. Not a morning routine. Not a mindset hack. The rooms you invest in. The friendships you keep. The thinking you absorb every single day through proximity alone.

I share how being surrounded by freelancers kept me thinking like a freelancer. How my first mastermind changed my entire operating system. Why the ego loves being the biggest fish and why your soul desperately needs a bigger tank.

In this episode:

• The goldfish principle and the neuroscience of why your environment shapes your identity
• Jim Rohn's five people rule and the Harvard study that proves it scientifically
• Why an expander is not just someone who has what you want but someone who has it the way you want it
• How surrounding yourself only with freelancers kept me thinking small without knowing it
• The mastermind that changed how I thought about money, business and what was possible
• Why the ego loves being the biggest fish and what it costs you
• How to find your expanders: the rooms you invest in, the friendships you audit, what you ask the universe for
• The nuance: you do not have to put someone on a pedestal just because they have one thing you want

Today's question:

Who are the five people I spend the most time with? And are they expanding me or confirming me?

Ready to grow into a bigger tank?

Book yourself a complimentary 12/10 Alignment Call and let's talk about what working together looks like. I would love to be your expander.

And if you want to start with an honest look at every area of your life, download the free 12/10 Life Audit here.

Find me here:

Instagram: @nadjaloveslife

You want to know the reason I always get what I want?

First of all, I tell myself I am a woman who always gets what she wants. That identity matters. But that is not the actual hack.

The real hack is embarrassingly simple. And most people never do it.

I ask.

That is it. I just ask. For the seat on the plane. For the hug from a stranger after yoga. For a man to hold me at a temple night. For the water bottle to be allowed into the festival. For a stranger in the market to hold my dog so I could go buy flowers.

Every single time, something came back. Not always a yes. But so much more often than if I had never asked at all.

In this episode I am going deep on the one thing that separates the women who get what they want from the women who silently hope and quietly resent. And I am going into the psychology behind why asking feels so terrifying, what is actually happening in your nervous system when you do it anyway, and the energetic shift that happens the moment you open your hands and say: yes please. More. What else is possible?

In this episode:

• Why the fear of rejection is not about the no but about what you have been taught the no means about you
• The psychology of uncommunicated desires and why they always turn into resentment
• Why you already have the no and a yes is the only thing asking can give you
• What is actually happening in your nervous system when you ask anyway and how you rewire it every single time
• The stories: the dog, the hug, the temple night, the plane seat, the water bottle, and asking for what you want in intimacy
• How asking is an energetic act of receiving posture and why the universe responds to open hands
• The practical tools for asking specifically, confidently, and without apology
• Why clarity is the most magnetic frequency there is

Today's question:

What is one thing I have been wanting but have never asked for? And what would actually happen if I just asked? Not next week. Today.

Ready to see where you are still not asking for what you want?

Download the free 12/10 Life Audit here. An honest look at every area of your life including where you are still hinting instead of asking.

And if you are ready to do that work with real support, DM me TWELVE and let's talk.

Find me here:

Instagram: @nadjaloveslife

Ten minutes that are going to completely change the frequency you walk into your day with.

This is a PowerTalk. And it is for the woman who is done letting the day live her. The woman who knows, somewhere in her body, that she is built for something more alive than what she has been tolerating. The woman who is ready to stop waiting and start receiving.

Every single day you wake up with a blank canvas. Brand new. Completely untouched. And you get to decide what goes on it.

In this episode I am going to take you through a full activation — breath, movement, evidence, identity declarations, and ending with a shout to the universe that is going to catapult you into the frequency of everything you want.

This one is meant to be listened to on repeat. On the mornings when you need reminding. On the mornings when you forgot how powerful you are. On the mornings when you need someone to say: hey. You pressed play. That means you are already choosing. Let's go.

In this episode:

• Why pressing play this morning is already a choice most people never make
• The blank canvas metaphor and how every moment is a world premiere
• Why focus is your superpower and what you are calling in today
• Moving the energy through your body before the day gets to you
• Why you are not separate from the universe but an expression of it
• The I am a woman who declarations to stack your identity before the day begins
• Ending with the only question that matters: show me how good it can get

Today's declarations to carry with you:

Everything is always working out for me.
I am the love of my life.
I am a woman who is ready.
Show me how good it can get. I am ready.

Find me here:

Instagram: @nadjaloveslife

It was a moment. A specific moment. Maybe you remember it. Maybe you just remember the feeling that came with it.

For me it was 16 years old, an exchange student in America, and something my host mother said that landed like a conclusion: the way I am is not okay. I did not know it at the time but that moment became a filter. Everything that came after ran through it.

This episode is not about healing. It is about remembering. Because healing implies you were broken. And you were never broken.

In this episode I am going into something I think the personal development world gets fundamentally wrong. The self-improvement industry, the healing space, the wellness world — so much of it runs on the wound of not-enoughness. Always finding the next belief to work on. The next version to become before you finally deserve good things. And at some point that becomes its own trap. A wellness outfit worn over the same old wound.

The 12/10 life is not built from fixing. It is built from remembering.

In this episode:

• The two fundamental human fears everything else comes back to and how much of your life has been spent managing them
• The moment the not-enough story gets born and why it was never actually true
• Why the healing obsession can become its own version of the same wound
• The difference between self improvement from worthiness vs self improvement from wound — same actions, completely different energy, completely different results
• Why the universe does not need your 2.0
• The decision that changes everything — and why worthiness is not a feeling you wait to have
• What actually becomes possible when worth is no longer a question

Today's question:

If my worthiness was never in question, what would I allow myself to have, to feel, to be today? Not one day. Today.

Ready to see where the not-enoughness is loudest in your life?

DM me AUDIT on Instagram @nadjaloveslife or download it here. An honest look at every area of your life so you can see exactly where you are still running the prove-it-first program.

And if you are ready to do the remembering with real support, DM me TWELVE and let's talk.

Find me here:

Instagram: @nadjaloveslife

You Are Not Stuck. Your Brain Just Thinks You Are.

I have reinvented myself more times than I can count.

From the girl who developed an eating disorder at 16 to the one who chose recovery. From psychology student to kiteboarding instructor following love across the world. From building a brand with my sister to building this one from scratch, alone, in Mallorca, as a single mom.

Every single time, my brain told me it was impossible. Every single time, it was not. It was just unfamiliar.

In this episode I am going deep on what is actually happening in your brain when you try to change something real about your life. Why it feels like resistance. Why it feels like you keep reverting. And why the problem is almost never willpower.

It is identity.

In this episode:

• Why your brain does not resist change but resists identity loss, and why that distinction changes everything
• The 12/10 Reinvention Formula: how your personality creates your personal reality, and why changing the outside never works before you change the inside
• The neuroscience of identity: why synapses that fire together wire together, and how to use that for you instead of against you
• The exact moment the new version of you stops being an effort and starts being just you
• Why you do not have to feel like her first, you just have to act like her consistently enough that your brain updates its records
• Three things that actually accelerate the rewiring: deciding first, repetition with emotion, and small daily identity votes

Today's question:

If I fully decided I was already her, the woman I am becoming, what would I do differently today? 

Ready to see where the gap is?

Download the free 12/10 Life Audit here. An honest look at every area of your life so you can see exactly where you are still acting from the old version.

And if you are ready to close the gap with real support, DM me TWELVE and let's talk.

Find me here:

Instagram: @nadjaloveslife

Last summer I got shushed. On a date. In my own car.

And five minutes after walking away, I was on a sailing yacht being called Reina all day.

That story is not about luck. It is about knowing what you want before it arrives. About having a body that recognizes the no before the brain has finished calculating. About being so clear on your standard that walking away from the shush is not even a decision. It is just what you do.

That is Stage 4. Living the 12/10.

And in this episode I want to tell you what the 12/10 actually is. Not as a concept. As a practice. As a way of being that does not require you to arrive somewhere before you can feel it.

In this episode:

• Why 12/10 and not 10/10, and what the two extra actually mean
• Why the 12/10 is different for every woman and every season, and why that is the whole point
• The paradox at the heart of Stage 4: one foot in gratitude and one foot in desire, at the same time
• The science of why everything you want, you want for the feeling, and why that feeling is available right now
• What embodiment actually means and why it lives in your body not your head
• How I alchemized something that could have broken me into the beginning of something new
• The daily practice: the audit questions, the standards, the why not motto, and how to know the difference between a yes and a no

This week's question:

If I let myself get completely honest, completely specific, completely unfiltered, what does my 12/10 look like right now, in this season? Not forever. Just now.

Ready to go deeper?

DM me AUDIT on Instagram @nadjaloveslife and I will send you the free 12/10 Life Audit. An honest look at every area of your life, where you are already thriving, where you are quietly settling, and where the desire foot is trying to take you next.

And if you are ready to close the gap between knowing and living, DM me TWELVE and let's have the most honest conversation you have had in a while.

Find me here:

Instagram: @nadjaloveslife

Everyone tells you to leave your comfort zone. Make the brave choice. Back yourself.

But nobody tells you what is actually happening inside your body when you try. Why it feels like an alarm going off. Why it feels like withdrawal. And why that feeling is not a stop sign.

In this episode I share the moment I stopped being able to ignore my own knowing. A stranger asked me one question after a keynote in Germany and everything shifted. That night I said it out loud before I had a plan, before I was ready, to someone who mattered, so I could not take it back.

This episode is for the woman who already knows. Who has been circling the same decision for months. Who is intelligent, loyal, responsible, and using all of those qualities to stay exactly where she is.

In this episode:

• Why brave choices feel like alarms and what is actually happening in your nervous system
• The neuroscience of emotional addiction and why your body craves the familiar even when it is painful
• What making a brave choice actually looks like from the inside (hint: not fearless)
• Why trust works backwards and you build it by jumping, not before
• New reality requires new personality: the 48k investment, the daily votes, and the grandpa seminars
• Why not deciding is deciding, and why it is not just a big decision to leave, it is a bigger decision to stay
• The two things you can do right now to prepave the way for your own brave choice

This week's question:

What decision am I calling not yet, when the truth is I already know?

Ready to stop circling?

DM me TWELVE on Instagram @nadjaloveslife and let's have the conversation you have been avoiding with yourself. And if you want to start with an honest look at every area of your life, DM me AUDIT for the free 12/10 Life Audit.

Find me here:

Instagram: @nadjaloveslife