Kid and Nurse Fiona are coughing COVID into each other's faces, half-drunk on the cheapest booze in town. Highlights from the chaos:

• God personally shutting down the liquor shack to spite two alcoholics
• A Black pastor dropping the most accurate "men NEED sex like a car needs gas" sermon ever
• Fiona's 4-month no-nut streak: saving every drop for one girl, about to redecorate the ceiling
• Pro threesome tip: always take bottom
• The loud chick who got dick-stuffed mid-threesome just to shut her the hell up
• The tragic, deleted 13:45 double-BJ masterpiece (Superman shirt era, never forgotten)
• Afternoon surprise double blowjob while football's on TV
• Piece-of-ass vs. catching feels: the eternal struggle
• The brother-cousin "pin cushion" story that ends with accidental ball-touching and light incest
• Final verdict: if you're sword-fighting or docking, just own that you're a little gay