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The 4 Saboteurs - Isolation
WHY ISOLATING OURSELVES FROM OTHERS IS A SABOTEUR, NOT A SAVIOUR
In episode 3 of this mini-series, Emma explores the complex saboteur of isolation. She shares the different levels of isolation we experience and how to overcome them. Listen in to find out more.
KEY TAKEAWAYS
Isolation will trip you up over and over again on different levels;
The first level of isolation - not sharing with someone how you are feeling or what you are struggling with. The reasons people don’t say anything are because they fear being rejected, fear being seen as weak or fear of being judged generally;
When you think others will judge you, in fact you are projecting a judgement onto other people you are really making about yourself;
The second level of isolation – you believe you are protecting others by not 'burdening them' with your stuff;
When your friends confide in you about their struggles, but you never share with them about your struggles, you are creating an imbalance in the relationship and fostering mistrust;
The third level of isolation – how you see yourself, judge yourself and try to protect yourself, incorrectly.
A belief that if you share with someone your 'dark' side, the other person won’t like you anymore. It's playground talk that has been perpetuated as you’ve grown up - "I'm afraid they won't be my friend any more". What age are you when you feel like this?
What happened in the past when you tried to tell someone how you were feeling or that you were hurting, or struggling?
Were you told to ‘man up’ , be a ‘big girl for mummy’ or bullied?
Memories like this can become beliefs, but just because this has happened in the past doesn’t mean you can’t ever trust anyone with your feelings again. This might be a good opportunity for professional support to help you separate the past and the present.
BEST MOMENTS
‘Despite more people being aware of mental health challenges and helpful practices like mindfulness, statistics still indicate that the majority of people don’t tell anyone when they experience mental health challenges’
‘Being human involves struggle now and again’
‘If you spot it, you’ve got it’
‘You’re leaving it up to them to figure it out’
‘I can’t burden anyone with my problems’
‘Time for a factory reset on your brain’
VALUABLE RESOURCES
www.bodymindandspirithealing.com
ABOUT THE HOST
Emma Murphy MIACP, BA (Hons) Psych, PGDip Counselling & Psychotherapy, Certified Disordered Eating Practitioner (NCFED UK), FETAC Trainer, Certified Self-Love Coach and all-round Good Egg.
Likes old rock music, eating food and being outside in the sunshine. Has a Boxer called Boots and a Jack Russell called Millie, both rescues. Married with a cute but pain in the arse 13 year old daughter. Either she’ll grow out of it or I’ll therapy it out of her!
I now train other therapists in my Disordered Eating program – Eating Freely – for Binge Eating, Emotional Eating and Bulimia. If you are interested in learning more about this specific area of my work, visit www.eating-freely.com.
CONTACT METHOD
https://www.facebook.com/EmmaMurphy.EatingFreely
View all episodes
By Emma MurphyWHY ISOLATING OURSELVES FROM OTHERS IS A SABOTEUR, NOT A SAVIOUR
In episode 3 of this mini-series, Emma explores the complex saboteur of isolation. She shares the different levels of isolation we experience and how to overcome them. Listen in to find out more.
KEY TAKEAWAYS
Isolation will trip you up over and over again on different levels;
The first level of isolation - not sharing with someone how you are feeling or what you are struggling with. The reasons people don’t say anything are because they fear being rejected, fear being seen as weak or fear of being judged generally;
When you think others will judge you, in fact you are projecting a judgement onto other people you are really making about yourself;
The second level of isolation – you believe you are protecting others by not 'burdening them' with your stuff;
When your friends confide in you about their struggles, but you never share with them about your struggles, you are creating an imbalance in the relationship and fostering mistrust;
The third level of isolation – how you see yourself, judge yourself and try to protect yourself, incorrectly.
A belief that if you share with someone your 'dark' side, the other person won’t like you anymore. It's playground talk that has been perpetuated as you’ve grown up - "I'm afraid they won't be my friend any more". What age are you when you feel like this?
What happened in the past when you tried to tell someone how you were feeling or that you were hurting, or struggling?
Were you told to ‘man up’ , be a ‘big girl for mummy’ or bullied?
Memories like this can become beliefs, but just because this has happened in the past doesn’t mean you can’t ever trust anyone with your feelings again. This might be a good opportunity for professional support to help you separate the past and the present.
BEST MOMENTS
‘Despite more people being aware of mental health challenges and helpful practices like mindfulness, statistics still indicate that the majority of people don’t tell anyone when they experience mental health challenges’
‘Being human involves struggle now and again’
‘If you spot it, you’ve got it’
‘You’re leaving it up to them to figure it out’
‘I can’t burden anyone with my problems’
‘Time for a factory reset on your brain’
VALUABLE RESOURCES
www.bodymindandspirithealing.com
ABOUT THE HOST
Emma Murphy MIACP, BA (Hons) Psych, PGDip Counselling & Psychotherapy, Certified Disordered Eating Practitioner (NCFED UK), FETAC Trainer, Certified Self-Love Coach and all-round Good Egg.
Likes old rock music, eating food and being outside in the sunshine. Has a Boxer called Boots and a Jack Russell called Millie, both rescues. Married with a cute but pain in the arse 13 year old daughter. Either she’ll grow out of it or I’ll therapy it out of her!
I now train other therapists in my Disordered Eating program – Eating Freely – for Binge Eating, Emotional Eating and Bulimia. If you are interested in learning more about this specific area of my work, visit www.eating-freely.com.
CONTACT METHOD
https://www.facebook.com/EmmaMurphy.EatingFreely