Cut The Crap Podcast

In this episode, Mary-Pat joins Emma to work through her blocks about money, earning ‘more than she needs’, fear of judgement around The Establishment in her industry and being a “Secret Millionaire”.

Mary Pat has a PhD in Speech and Language Therapy and is a lecturer in her area of expertise. She has a great idea for an online program which fills an important gap in Speech and Language Services.  But her blocks around earning ‘more than she needs’, being seen as ‘greedy or graspy’, and her imposter syndrome block of “who do you think you are” are all getting in the way of her producing and launching her valuable program!

 

HIGHLIGHTS:

“Wow, it’s not enough for you to have a really good job and be well respected in your industry, but you also have to have this side hustle where you’re just charging people money for an online program that you’ve thrown up onto the interweb….”

“Who do you think you are to set up an online business and make loads of money online?”

“You’re just after giving me the finger there, with both your hands!”

“Is it about staying small and not drawing attention to myself or is it fear that it might actually work?”

“What would I do if I looked at my bank balance and it had actually doubled?”

“I hear the passion behind what you are saying, and there is a gap in the service, and families are being disserviced by the Establishment at the moment… and you are allowing your limiting beliefs around money and permission to have a lot of money or more money than you reasonably need to stand in the way of you actually providing this really valuable service to potentially millions of people around the world who could absolutely benefit from it”

“You’ve just said something there that catapulted me back to my mother and this notion of just having enough, yeah, and she said it recently “sure as long as I just have enough to pay the bills…

“I think it’s the Don’t be greedy, don’t be graspy, plus the don’t be showing off”.

“When I got the PhD, we had a family gathering… and nobody mentioned it… my cousin mentioned it to me on the quiet but my mother for example, and father never made any kind of fuss that I had just graduated with a PhD”

“So tell me Mary Pat, what age is your daughter now?”  “eight and a half”.  “And you’d like to perpetuate this model of belief down onto her, would you?”  “But Emma this is the irony of it girl!”

 “So if you had €1million in the bank from your online program… it wouldn’t matter what she wanted, technically you could buy her anything”

“Myself and my sister would be looking in the window of a toyshop in Tralee at something and my mother would say “I don’t have the money.”  It wasn’t true, she did have the money but she was choosing not to spend it”.

 Mary Pat had several ‘aha’s during this session, and we covered a lot of ground. So much so that we agreed to give her time to reflect and process what came up today, then meet again soon to have Part 2 of this session and see a) what really came out of today’s session for her and b) what changes she will make as a result.

‘I hate clothes shopping! and now the dread has now become so bad that I walk in and out of shops aimlessly not knowing where to start anymore.  A lot of it is due to my  lack of body confidence  I just want some clothes that I feel confident wearing.’

In this episode, Emma is answering Katie’s question about clothes shopping and explores the real barriers that are stopping her from developing the style and personal persona that she wants.   Emma and Katie explored this topic in a live interview.

Katie’s question will resonate with many and Emma’s advice is invaluable so tune in now to find out more.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

An issue that is causing challenges in one area, can impact on other areas of your life. In identifying and exploring a particular block wider issues and other blocks that need to be overcome can be revealed.

Where is the main block for you?

The changing rooms have lots of mirrors and it's quite overwhelming if you’re not very body confident. The more I think about it the more anxious I feel about it.

What do you think might need to happen in order that you can relax and see shopping as a treat for yourself?

I would need to have a more positive body image and have a more positive opinion about myself.

There is a phenomenon in psychology where when you look at yourself in the mirror,  what you see in your head is not what is actually there. You see a perception of yourself, not what is actually reflected from the mirror - this is called an Allostatic Lock.

What you think you look like is not necessarily what others see. We project out what we are thinking to other people and then imagine that is what they are thinking about us!

What's the fear when you think about shopping?

That I won't be able to purchase anything and will have gone through lots of stress coupled with trying clothing on without buying anything, which makes me feel worse.

What's the truth in this situation?

A truth – it’s probably not as hard as I’m making it;

A truth – there are clothes out there that will fit me, and I will look good in;

A truth – a lot of the thoughts I'm having about myself are perceptions, not truths!

Values

I'm conscious that it's about having a personal brand. In having this you are not forgotten, you are remembered and acknowledged.

One of your higher values is your professional credibility. You are putting forward a professional persona and are fully integrated with your business and your brand

You have a low value on fashion, clothing, makeup and  hair  as concepts on your value list

How can we bring fashion, hair and make up more into alignment with your high values of work and your professional brand?

One of the things getting in the way is materialism. You expect other people to purchase your expertise to teach them what they need to know and get to where they need to go.

By the same token, you need to buy in expertise to get you where you want to go in your business and create the persona you want.

Make use of a personal shopper, they will work with your shape and are experts in knowing what is going to work for you. You will be able to learn from them in a short space of time and use what you have learnt moving forward.

When there is a block where you won’t ask anyone for help, it's often about masking concerns about being seen as weak and vulnerable.

It is important to prioritise yourself and your self-care so that you can look after everything else successfully

BEST MOMENTS

‘There are a lot of things I do in my business that I don’t do in my personal life’

‘The disconnect between what I would do for my business and what I would do in my personal life’

‘I throw myself into my business because that’s where I feel comfortable’

‘I'm definitely going to do it, it seems so logical and makes sense’

‘It's just thinking about it in a different way’

‘I’m guessing the bigger issue at play here is about asking for help’

‘There are so many limits you are putting on yourself’

‘Be yourself, everyone else is taken’

‘There is something about them - they turn up and exude this creativeness and I don’t do that with my style or personal brand’

‘Just because it came into my head doesn’t make it true’

‘The situation is probably not as hard as I'm making it. I’m my worst enemy, stopping myself’

VALUABLE RESOURCES

https://itunes.apple.com/ie/podcast/cut-the-crap-podcast/id1451700671?mt=2&i=1000430066628

www.bodymindandspirithealing.com

ABOUT THE HOST

Emma Murphy MIACP, BA (Hons) Psych, PGDip Counselling & Psychotherapy, Certified Disordered Eating Practitioner (NCFED UK), FETAC Trainer, Certified Self-Love Coach and all-round Good Egg. Likes old rock music, eating food and being outside in the sunshine. Has a Boxer called Boots and a Jack Russell called Millie, both rescues. Married with a cute but pain in the arse 13-year-old daughter.  Either she’ll grow out of it or I’ll therapy it out of her!

I now train other therapists in my Disordered Eating program – Eating Freely – for Binge Eating, Emotional Eating and Bulimia. If you are interested in learning more about this specific area of my work, visit www.eating-freely.com.  

CONTACT METHOD

https://twitter.com/eating_freely

In this episode, Emma explores ambivalence and asks ‘Where are you on the cycle of readiness to change?'

This podcast provides an invaluable insight into why we can sit on the fence about change, no matter how much we 'think' or tell ourselves we want to change. But we can all change and move forward successfully with our lives when we understand why we hesitate/procrastinate. 

KEY TAKEAWAYS

Readiness to change

In therapy, there is a 6-stage model of readiness to change - knowing where you are on it helps; 

Are you paying lip service to changing, or are you ready to do the work and make the change?

Pre-contemplation

The person doesn’t recognise there is a problem even when others are pointing it out to them.

Contemplation

This is when a seed of doubt creeps in for the person. They begin to acknowledge that there is a problem and that they are using unhealthy coping strategies. However, they are not in a position where they are looking to change or resolve the problem.

Determination

This is when the person realises there is a problem and that they "should" do something about it.

Action

This is where the person takes action and does something to solve the problem.

Maintenance

This is when the person has made changes and is committed to keeping going in the new direction. They may not have completely solved the problem, but they are on the right path.

Relapse

This is when you go back to where you were before. This can be to any point prior, it may be a lapse and you can quickly move back into maintenance or you can revert all the way back to pre-contemplation.

Ambivalence can be present at any point in the process

In therapy you are working on the bigger picture - how do you handle feelings and emotions? What is keeping you stuck? What is the payoff for NOT changing? And how is your own brain getting in your way?

Motivation for Change vs not Changing

For some people, the problem has become a huge part of their identity and they find it difficult to imagine who they would be if they made a change.

Experienced therapists managing ambivalence may be the client's first experience of good clear boundaries.

A therapist can accept ambivalent behaviour because they understand what's going on.

In your brain, you have the executive centre where logical cause and effect decisions are made and the fight, flight or freeze part of your brain, the amygdala, located towards the back of your brain.

When you think you might have to make a change, the amygdala part of your brain starts jumping up and down and jabbering. This inner voice is not at all helpful, but is your brain trying to keep you safe - but 'safe' means 'the same', and that chimp is stronger than your logical self! when you don't know how to handle it!

Ask Yourself

Is there is a situation or person that you are not dealing with because of your ambivalence?

Where are you on the cycle of readiness to change?

It’s important to understand that what often keeps us ambivalent is the shame around the unhelpful behaviour, but conversely what often tips us into action IS shame - 'the straw that broke the camel's back'.

Staying stuck out of shame is very common but if you are staying stuck out of shame you are only compounding the situation, AND your feeling of shame.

There is a difference between shame and guilt. Shame is difficult to release yourself from, it goes hand in hand with low self-worth and is isolating. Guilt is easier to handle!

When you choose to nourish yourself physically and emotionally everything will shift, and you can start moving towards what you really want in life.

BEST MOMENTS

‘It can look a lot like stress’

‘They may google ‘you’re drinking too much’

‘They are committed to doing more of the same to get them to where they want to get to’

‘The dream client – ready and willing to take action’

‘I can tell if the client is too ambivalent to undertake the process’

‘They (clients) are there but they are not yet there’

‘Every session is potentially the last session as any client can become ambivalent at any point’

‘Reduce the feeling of shame first’

‘Ask will this nourish me or punish me?’

‘The ambivalence is not the block, the shame is’

VALUABLE RESOURCES

https://itunes.apple.com/ie/podcast/cut-the-crap-podcast/id1451700671?mt=2&i=1000430066628

www.bodymindandspirithealing.com

ABOUT THE HOST

Emma Murphy MIACP, BA (Hons) Psych, PGDip Counselling & Psychotherapy, Certified Disordered Eating Practitioner (NCFED UK), FETAC Trainer, Certified Self-Love Coach and all-round Good Egg. Likes old rock music, eating food and being outside in the sunshine. Has a Boxer called Boots and a Jack Russell called Millie, both rescues. Married with a cute but pain in the arse 13-year-old daughter.  Either she’ll grow out of it or I’ll therapy it out of her!

I now train other therapists in my Disordered Eating program – Eating Freely – for Binge Eating, Emotional Eating and Bulimia. If you are interested in learning more about this specific area of my work, visit www.eating-freely.com.  

CONTACT METHOD

GUILT AS A SABOTEUR

In the final episode of this 4-part mini-series about Saboteurs, Emma tackles the issues surrounding guilt. We all experience guilt in varying ways, it is how we deal with it that determines whether we let it sabotage us or not. 

The series 

PERFECTIONISM

IMPATIENCE 

ISOLATION 

GUILT 

Listen in to the full mini-series to find out how to take action against these saboteurs and achieve the life you truly want and deserve. 

  

KEY TAKEAWAYS 

Guilt leads us to feel less than, to feel insecure, not enough and guilty; 

Everyone has an Inner Critical Voice. This inner critic can become louder as you become more anxious, which only makes the problem worse as you are likely to perpetuate whatever destructive cycle guilt drives you to - eating, drinking, drug taking, shopping, sex/porn, gambling....or just feeling crap about yourself;

This Inner Critical Voice is actually part of our "fight or flight" response and is about keeping us safe, we need to understand this to alleviate it! 

When your inner voice says something you immediately take notice but it’s important not to believe everything you think; 

Become an observer of your thoughts, this requires practice but can be very helpful. You can then learn to respond in the correct way rather than reacting in an impulsive way;

The Chimp paradox states that the part of your brain identified as  ‘your chimp’ kicks in 5 x faster than your logical brain. You need to train your logical brain to calm down your chimp; 

Practice observing your brain and finding it "fascinating" - "that's fascinating, that I am having that reaction/thought now!", then separate yourself out from the chimp, understanding that you don’t have to react to it. Regular meditation practice can help with this;

Being able to detach yourself is part of a mindfulness or meditation practice; 

This will help take your anxiety down and will mean you are operating at a lower, calmer level, and not activating your chimp so often! 

Feeling guilty about other people 

People Pleasing is one of the worst Sabotaging behaviour to come in under the 'Guilt' heading.  You want to do something for yourself and then somebody else wants something from you and you say yes, putting yourself second. You will feel resentful if they are not properly appreciative of your sacrifice, but who actually ruined your plan for yourself? You did! 

You had the opportunity to say no but said yes because you wanted to keep the other person happy;

It's unlikely the other person didn’t realise the sacrifice you had made, and in reality they would probably have preferred you gave yourself the time to do what you wanted to do originally, and would be horrified if they knew you had given up something important to you, for them!  Because let's face it, THEY probably wouldn't do it for you, or anyone else!

Other people making you feel guilty 

This is when you take on responsibility for someone else’s feelings.  Sometimes it's all you taking on that responsibility, WITHOUT BEING ASKED, but sometimes you are being manipulated, the person knows exactly which buttons to press to make you feel guilty about their life - can you tell the difference?

You cannot be responsible for someone else's happiness. Stand strong in your own space. and SHOW them how to be happy by doing it yourself; 

We feel guilt whenever we feel we are being selfish but what if it’s NOT selfish? Appropriate self-care results in you being a better mother, partner, daughter, worker, friend. When you fill yourself up first, you've got more to give! 

  

BEST MOMENTS 

‘The understanding that if you’ve looked after yourself you’ve got more to give’   

‘A sister who is an absolute ninja about making you feel bad’   

‘Practising non-doing and letting your thoughts just drift in and out, just observing them’   

‘Should and shouldn't  equal guilt’ 

‘Think to yourself – ‘I don’t have to react to it’ 

‘Regular meditation practice can help with this’ 

‘In one ear and out the other’ 

‘When your inner voice says something you immediately take notice’ 

‘It is a blunt instrument’ 

    

VALUABLE RESOURCES 

www.bodymindandspirithealing.com 

www.amazon.co.uk/Chimp-Paradox-Management-Programme-Confidence/dp/009193558X 

 www.eating-freely.com

ABOUT THE HOST 

Emma Murphy MIACP, BA (Hons) Psych, PGDip Counselling & Psychotherapy, Certified Disordered Eating Practitioner (NCFED UK), FETAC Trainer, Certified Self-Love Coach and all-round Good Egg. 

Likes old rock music, eating food and being outside in the sunshine. Has a Boxer called Boots and a Jack Russell called Millie, both rescues. Married with a cute but pain in the arse 13-year-old daughter.  Either she’ll grow out of it or I’ll therapy it out of her! 

I now train other therapists in my Disordered Eating program – Eating Freely – for Binge Eating, Emotional Eating and Bulimia. If you are interested in learning more about this specific area of my work, visit www.eating-freely.com.   

  

CONTACT METHOD 

https://www.facebook.com/[email protected]

GET OUT OF YOUR OWN WAY 

In a closed Entrepreneur Facebook group Emma put out a post asking people what it was they were doing that they knew was getting in their own way. 

In this podcast, Emma talks to Mark about his inner dialogue - believing it without questioning it, and being a course junkie - doing loads of learning but not applying any of it!

This fascinating episode demonstrates how we can all learn more about ourselves to stop getting in our own way. 

   

KEY TAKEAWAYS 

Your brain operates with a habit loop and it does not like change, so no matter how much you think you want to start running at 7am every morning, your brain has other plans!

In a habit loop, you are usually following a path from a Trigger, to a Craving, that leads to a Behaviour that results in a Reward.  But the brain NEVER thinks about the Consequence!

This is about instant gratification. The autopilot part of your brain kicks in and will always seek instant gratification over delayed gratification;

In this situation to make a change you have to engage the logical part of your brain to consider the outcomes, if I stay in bed, instant gratification – warmth, relaxation, vs delayed gratification of being able to achieve physical fitness, keep up with my young kids, and this goal of fitness will permeate into other areas of your life too. Your logical brain has to override the autopilot; 

The delayed gratification should be available to you in the very short term - "If you get fit you won't die of a heart attack in 10 years" will not cut it! vs "If I go for an early morning run, I will be more productive throughout the day"; 

Second Block - Being a course junkie but never putting any learning into action;

Seeking assurance that it will either deliver the result YOU want or else you won't do it, is the block;

You could achieve nothing, and that feels like it would be a waste of your time; 

Actually, it will send you forward in some direction, but maybe not deliver the outcome you were seeking. But it could deliver or result in all sorts of other outcomes that you can't even anticipate from here, where you won't even start;

It might be successful and then would have to be maintained - this is another block! "I might want to give up, it might be too hard"!

What’s the fear of being successful? 

That if you don’t attempt anything you can’t fail and the concern of being exposed and disappointing others; 

The only person judging you is you - it is necessary to acknowledge the blocks are in your head; 

Decide that you are going to take action but detach from the outcome because you trust that in taking the action something will come out of it. 

  

BEST MOMENTS 

‘I’ve hoodwinked myself in some areas’   

‘It’s your own judgement of yourself that you are worried about’   

‘Just get on with the action. Enjoy doing rather than worrying about the outcome’   

‘Thinking of it (the brain getting in your way) as a biological process’   

‘There’s nothing to blame yourself for’   

‘The delayed gratification has to be as close as possible to the logical decision’   

‘Keeping that alive in your mind’   

'The monkey part of your brain, being able to be consistent with it and use the logical part to talk it down'  

  

VALUABLE RESOURCES 

www.bodymindandspirithealing.com 

  

ABOUT THE HOST 

Emma Murphy MIACP, BA (Hons) Psych, PGDip Counselling & Psychotherapy, Certified Disordered Eating Practitioner (NCFED UK), FETAC Trainer, Certified Self-Love Coach and all-round Good Egg. Likes old rock music, eating food and being outside in the sunshine. Has a Boxer called Boots and a Jack Russell called Millie, both rescues. Married with a cute but pain in the arse 13-year-old daughter.  Either she’ll grow out of it or I’ll therapy it out of her! 

I now train other therapists in my Disordered Eating program – Eating Freely – for Binge Eating, Emotional Eating and Bulimia. If you are interested in learning more about this specific area of my work, visit www.eating-freely.com.   

  

CONTACT METHOD 

https://www.facebook.com/EmmaMurphy.EatingFreely

WHY ISOLATING OURSELVES FROM OTHERS IS A SABOTEUR, NOT A SAVIOUR

In episode 3 of this mini-series, Emma explores the complex saboteur of isolation. She shares the different levels of isolation we experience and how to overcome them. Listen in to find out more. 

  

KEY TAKEAWAYS 

Isolation will trip you up over and over again on different levels; 

The first level of isolation - not sharing with someone how you are feeling or what you are struggling with. The  reasons people don’t say anything are because they fear being rejected, fear being seen as weak or fear of being judged generally; 

When you think others will judge you, in fact you are projecting a judgement onto other people you are really making about yourself; 

The second level of isolation – you believe you are protecting others by not 'burdening them' with your stuff;

When your friends confide in you about their struggles, but you never share with them about your struggles, you are creating an imbalance in the relationship and fostering mistrust; 

The third level of isolation – how you see yourself, judge yourself and try to protect yourself, incorrectly. 

A  belief that if you share with someone your 'dark' side, the other person won’t like you anymore. It's playground talk that has been perpetuated as you’ve grown up - "I'm afraid they won't be my friend any more".  What age are you when you feel like this? 

What happened in the past when you tried to tell someone how you were feeling or that you were hurting, or struggling?

Were you told to ‘man up’ , be a ‘big girl for mummy’ or bullied? 

Memories like this can become beliefs, but just because this has happened in the past doesn’t mean you can’t ever trust anyone with your feelings again. This might be a good opportunity for professional support to help you separate the past and the present. 

 

  

BEST MOMENTS 

‘Despite more people being aware of mental health challenges and helpful practices like mindfulness, statistics still indicate that the majority of people don’t tell anyone when they experience mental health challenges’   

‘Being human involves struggle now and again’   

‘If you spot it, you’ve got it’   

‘You’re leaving it up to them to figure it out’ 

‘I can’t burden anyone with my problems’ 

‘Time for a factory reset on your brain’ 

  

VALUABLE RESOURCES 

www.bodymindandspirithealing.com 

  

ABOUT THE HOST 

Emma Murphy MIACP, BA (Hons) Psych, PGDip Counselling & Psychotherapy, Certified Disordered Eating Practitioner (NCFED UK), FETAC Trainer, Certified Self-Love Coach and all-round Good Egg. 

Likes old rock music, eating food and being outside in the sunshine. Has a Boxer called Boots and a Jack Russell called Millie, both rescues. Married with a cute but pain in the arse 13 year old daughter.  Either she’ll grow out of it or I’ll therapy it out of her! 

I now train other therapists in my Disordered Eating program – Eating Freely – for Binge Eating, Emotional Eating and Bulimia. If you are interested in learning more about this specific area of my work, visit www.eating-freely.com.     

 

CONTACT METHOD 

https://www.facebook.com/EmmaMurphy.EatingFreely

WILL IMPATIENCE DRIVE YOU TO SEEK A QUICK FIX? 

In this episode Emma explores the second saboteur, impatience.   

Impatience is about how we completely overestimate what we can achieve in a short time and completely underestimate what we can achieve in a long time. Listen in to find out about the positive changes you can make when you simply adjust your timeframe. 

 

KEY TAKEAWAYS 

The second saboteur is impatience, sometimes born out of panic or crisis. Emma uses an example from her disordered eating clientele - it is what drives them to diet pills, delivered meals and diet plans as they panic, and seek a quick fix. This extends to a mindset of thinking it’s just about needing to find the right quick fix. 

In a work context, if you want to achieve something you’ve either got to be prepared to put in the work or outsource it and trust that someone else will do it to the standard you want. 

Impatience is about how we completely overestimate what we can achieve in a short time and completely underestimate what we can achieve in a long time. 

When we get to rock bottom point our instinct is to panic which is counterproductive We didn’t just fall straight down, there were some mistakes, poor decisions, denying help and refusing to accept the problem along the way, so how can we simply jet back up again in "2 seconds flat"? 

To think that you can quickly reverse a slow convoluted descent downwards doesn’t add up;

Impatience is driven by waiting until things are so bad that you feel you have to find a quick fix. This is when impatience will make you feel desperate and intolerant of yourself;

To move forward you need to ask yourself questions such as; 

Where do I want to be this time next year? 

What do I want to look like? 

How do I want to feel about myself? 

What will I be wearing? 

Where will I be living? 

Who will I be hanging out with? 

How will I be spending my time? 

Where will I be in my life? 

Write down your goals as positives in the context of what you want to do and in the present tense, as if you are already doing them e.g. I am working for a company that challenges me, values me and gives me lots of opportunities;

Decide on a goal date and work back from the goal date considering what is the first small step you can take on the trajectory towards your goal;

Whatever your goal is, it is important to understand you may need to seek professional or other help/support;

Investing in professional help will be the best investment in yourself that you can make, and you are always going to get a return on this type of investment; 

When impatience is driving you to achieve an impossible goal in an impossibly short time frame then you are setting yourself up to fail; 

One small step at a time will get you to where you’re trying to go if you have a solid foundation. It takes time dedication energy and perseverance, plus being able to appreciate and enjoy the milestones along the way.  

 

BEST MOMENTS 

‘Impatience + perfectionism = disaster’ 

‘Until you feel, ‘I’ve got no time’ 

‘When you mess up you can clean it up’ 

‘You have to put the groundwork in and be prepared not to see instant results’ 

‘Pushing the rock up the hill is hard but when you get to the tipping point at the top the downward journey is easy’ 

‘When impatience meets perfectionism that’s utter failure ‘ 

‘Start working towards it today, not Monday or payday ’ 

‘Take one small step’ 

‘You have a whole year to take a few wrong turns, learn from them and get back on track’ 

  

VALUABLE RESOURCES 

www.bodymindandspirithealing.com 

   

ABOUT THE HOST 

Emma Murphy MIACP, BA (Hons) Psych, PGDip Counselling & Psychotherapy, Certified 

Disordered Eating Practitioner (NCFED UK), FETAC Trainer, Certified Self-Love 

Coach and all-round Good Egg. Likes old rock music, eating food and being outside in the sunshine. Has a Boxer called Boots and a Jack Russell called Millie, both rescues. Married with cute but pain in the arse 13 year old daughter.  Either she’ll grow out of 

it or I’ll therapy it out of her! 

I now train other therapists in my Disordered Eating program – Eating Freely – 

for Binge Eating, Emotional Eating and Bulimia. If you are interested in 

learning more about this specific area of my work, visit www.eating-freely.com.       

CONTACT METHOD 

https://www.facebook.com/EmmaMurphy.EatingFreely

‘If you mess it up you can clean it up’ 

In this 4-part mini-series about Saboteurs, Emma examines the saboteurs that are stopping you from achieving your goals. 

This podcast reveals how perfectionism manifests itself and the positive actions you can take to let go of it and move towards the life you truly want 

  

  KEY TAKEAWAYS 

Being a perfectionist is about doing it all right or all wrong, there are no grey areas; 

Believing that you can be perfect is a fatal imperfection; 

As a perfectionist, you probably won’t even start many things because perfection is too hard to achieve, and perfectionism only gives you one chance to fail;

It is far more empowering to remember that if you screw it up you can clean it up;

Within a relationship what you think you want is rarely what you actually want and on the journey to finding what you want, you will usually have to kiss a few frogs along the way!

Usually, when you make a judgement about someone that judgement relates to a characteristic you have, in reality, you are making a judgement about yourself; 

If you think everything should be perfect, consider the amount of time you spend before you start something thinking about the worst-case scenario and then examine whether that worst-case scenario did it come true? There is no evidence that it will happen, and it usually doesn’t; 

If as a perfectionist you don’t acknowledge that we all have a light and a dark side then you are pretending that 50% of yourself doesn’t exist and this results in you functioning as half a person (see also episode 5 for more on this!); 

If you don’t start then things can’t go wrong, however, things in life do go wrong and the most important thing is that you get a chance to clean up;

‘If you screw it up you can clean it up’ ;

 

BEST MOMENTS 

‘Want to get rid of all the old junk hanging about inside your body and inside your mind’ 

‘Let go of it and clear the path for you to have the life you truly want and deserve’ 

‘You might have to kiss a few frogs to get there’ 

‘See yourself as less than’ 

‘Acknowledge your dark side’ 

‘We are all human’ 

‘If you are perfect all the time people aren’t going to like you’ 

  

VALUABLE RESOURCES 

www.bodymindandspirithealing.com 

www.amazon.co.uk/Insanely-Gifted-Demons-Creative-Rocket-ebook/dp/B01A5U3D58/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1550137182&sr=8-1&keywords=insanely+gifted    

www.amazon.co.uk/Power-Vulnerability-Teachings-Authenticity-Connection/dp/B00D03UHMK/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1550137265&sr=8-1&keywords=the+power+of+vulnerability+brene+brown 

 

ABOUT THE HOST 

Emma Murphy MIACP, BA (Hons) Psych, PGDip Counselling & Psychotherapy, Certified Disordered Eating Practitioner (NCFED UK), FETAC Trainer, Certified Self-Love Coach and all-round Good Egg. 

Likes old rock music, eating food and being outside in the sunshine. Has a Boxer called Boots and a Jack Russell called Millie, both rescues. Married with a cute but pain in the arse 13 year old daughter.  Either she’ll grow out of it or I’ll therapy it out of her! 

I now train other therapists in my Disordered Eating program – Eating Freely – for Binge Eating, Emotional Eating and Bulimia. If you are interested in learning more about this specific area of my work, visit www.eating-freely.com.    

  

CONTACT METHOD 

https://www.facebook.com/EmmaMurphy.EatingFreely