Phil Jones is back! Will this mean a new tattoo for Tom? There's something about Ralf. Are Tottenham in for Top4 with Conte at the helm? Did City just win the title by virtue of Chelsea and Pool slugging it out for a draw? We'll see.

City Rules, Ralf Drools 

Liverpool, Tottenham, Chelsea slogging, and Arsenal rising. 

UEFA mess up paper, all the big boys grab late pen wins, Pink Kevin, and Omicron's ugly head is indeed reared. 

Arsenal Still bad, is Arteta a vibes only kind of guy? We're just not sure.

Conte turning spurs around, but will Omicron rear it's ugly head? 

City still dominant and are Chelsea too reliant on defenders for goals? 

Tom (though absent) is finally happy that United have a real coach (sorta until the end of the season ... and once they sort out his visa); Tottenham hate the snow, and Dyche can't find his worms; City play beautifully, but that's expected, and Chelsea have 200+ million worth of attacking talent that can't score ... apparently not a problem. OR IS IT!?

Listen, Man United might not thank me but get the contract out, put it on the table. Let him sign it. Let him write whatever numbers he wants to put on there, given what he's done since he's come in. Carrick's at the wheel, man. He's doing it. He's doing his thing. Man United are BACK.

Is it the lack of options that's keeping Ole in a job? The crew discusses, and predictably, disagrees. 

Oh, and City crush United ... who fall behind Arsenal in the table. Dark days.

Oh, and Liverpool lose to West Ham ... Oh and Chelsea draw Burnley. Worms for days. Lots to talk about.

KEN . IS . BACK . 

We lose Pete to a thunderstorm halfway into a discussion about Tottenham ... but it probably would have found a way to be about how bad United are right now. 

Tom finally joins the Ole out crew, and Harry Kane should have left Tott. James knew all along.