Most people think they need more discipline to build better habits — but in this episode, Andrew and Cat explain why habits actually work best when they’re aligned with identity, not willpower.

This conversation breaks habits into five simple, powerful categories that support your nervous system, protect your energy, build self-trust, and reinforce who you’re becoming. Instead of overwhelming routines or perfection-driven checklists, this episode offers a framework for habits that feel sustainable, human, and realistic.

If you’re building your Five Year You, this episode gives you the structure to do it without burnout or shame.

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The 5 Habit Categories Explained1. Self-Trust Habits

These habits rebuild your relationship with yourself.

1. Keeping small promises you make to yourself
2. Starting when you say you’ll start
3. Choosing habits you can keep even on hard days
4. Learning to become accountable to you, not just others

Self-trust is the foundation of every other habit.

2. Regulation Habits

These habits stabilize your nervous system so habits can actually stick.

1. Breathwork and pauses before reacting
2. Emotional regulation during stress or frustration
3. Creating calm in a world designed to overwhelm
4. Reducing emotional reactivity

You can’t build your future self from a constantly dysregulated body.

3. Identity-Confirming Habits

These habits reinforce who you are becoming.

1. Writers write
2. Movers move
3. Healthy people make health-aligned choices

Even tiny actions count. Every repetition sends your brain the message: This is who I am.

4. Boundary Habits

These habits protect your time, energy, and peace.

1. Saying no without over-explaining
2. Reducing people-pleasing behaviors
3. Letting go of habits, relationships, or patterns that drain you
4. Learning that what you tolerate teaches others how to treat you

Boundaries are often the hardest habits — and the most transformative.

5. Reflection Habits

These habits turn experience into wisdom.

1. Daily or weekly reflection
2. Asking why something felt hard or off
3. Noticing patterns instead of judging them
4. Course-correcting with compassion

Reflection keeps you conscious instead of reactive.

Key Takeaways

1. Habits are not about perfection — they’re about alignment
2. Small habits compound faster than dramatic overhauls
3. Regulation comes before discipline
4. Boundaries often matter more than adding new habits
5. Consistency builds identity, not intensity
6. Reflection turns mistakes into growth

Quotes from the Episode“You don’t need to overhaul your life — you need habits that gently introduce your future self into the present one.”“You can’t build a future self from a constantly overwhelmed nervous system.”“What you tolerate teaches others how to treat you — and teaches you who you are.”How to Get Started

1. Choose one habit category
2. Pick one tiny habit
3. Let consistency beat intensity
4. Rebuild self-trust slowly
5. Begin again without shame

Glimmers of the Week

Cat: Walking more, thrifting wins, and seeing their son experience the joy of reselling his first item.

Andrew: Finding rare thrift treasures — including Brioni and Hermès ties — and the thrill of small, unexpected wins.

What’s Coming Next

In the next episode, Andrew and Cat talk about how to stay consistent when change feels uncomfortable — and why most people stop right before things start working.

Connect with Five Year You

Website & Coaching: https://fiveyearyou.com

Instagram: https://instagram.com/fiveyearyou

Email: [email protected]

Disclaimer

This podcast is for educational and inspirational purposes only and does not substitute professional advice. Some links mentioned may be affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases (Store ID: amp09-20, Tracking ID: 5yy-20).