The 8 Dayos

#09 - Dayah Eight - Shalom U'Vracha

#08 - Dayah Seven - Silently Listen, Then Speak With Clarity

#07 - Dayah Six - Same Team Mindset

#06 - Dayah Five - Recognize The Other!

#05 - Dayah Four - Do What Matters!

#04 - Dayah Three - Know Your Mission!

#03 - Dayah Two - Be Humble!

www.Bnei-Aliyah.com/The-8-Dayos

Class #02

Dayah One

"בחרת בחיים"

LIVE LIFE

DEFINITION: Taking responsibility for your behavior

Defining its opposite: Automatic reactive behavior driven by feelings and external circumstances

Affirmation #1: It is my responsibility to live life, and not be lived by life

Affirmation #2: I can subordinate my feelings to values

Affirmation #3: I am not a product of my circumstances, I am a product of my decisions

Dayos 1 to 4—between man and himself

The "8 Dayos" are organized into two distinct groups: the initial four focus on personal mastery, while the latter four concentrate on building and enhancing our relationships with others. It is self-evident that a healthy relationship with oneself is a prerequisite for a healthy and productive relationship with others, whether they be family, friends, or business associates.

Dayah #1, “Live Life,” motivates us to take charge of our lives and accept responsibility for our choices. Once we have reclaimed autonomy, Dayah #2, “Be Humble,” provides the means for achieving Dayah #3, “Clarify Your Mission.” Once our mission has been defined and internalized, Dayah #4, “See Then Now,” presents a powerful approach to realizing that mission!

The first four Dayos embody a foundational, bottom-up strategy for evolving into an effective, independent human being. Far from being a quick fix, superficial solution to bad middos, this method is a time-honored, proven framework that offers genuine and enduring change! But becoming an effective, independent human being is only half the story.

Dayos 5 to 8—between man and his fellow

Once we have regained control of ourselves, we must focus on the dynamics of human relationships—our interactions with others! As noted above, success in the first four Dayos is key to developing and sustaining meaningful and fruitful relationships with others. If you can’t trust yourself how will others trust you?

Dayah #5, titled “What You Hate, Don't Do To Others,” marks the initial stage in interpersonal dynamics—acknowledging the very existence of others, which is no small feat. This realization paves the way for Dayah #6, the “Mutual Success Mindset,” where we prepare to engage with others with the understanding that they are indeed real and significant. Following this, Dayah #7, “First Be Silent, Then Speak,” is the crucial skill that enables us to implement Dayah #6 effectively. Following the successful implementation of Dayahs 5, 6, and 7, we arrive at Dayah #8: “Harmonize”. This Dayah represents the experience when two or more individuals come together, creating a union that fosters synergy and innovation—possibilities once beyond our imagination all of a sudden become a reality!