Did you know that a votive candle is one of those short, squat candles that people use for prayer or, like, to put on their outside stairs when they’re hosting a fancy party? I did not. But “votive” is the word I blurted out when Cheryl Strayed was trying to describe the type of tall candle she lit as a way to psychically summon Reese Witherspoon. A decade ago, Strayed was waiting to hear whether or not the actor was interested in taking the lead role in the movie adaptation of Wild, her best-selling 2012 memoir. So she lit the big candle (maybe it was a pillar or a taper, now that I google it) and every time she walked by it, she whispered “Reese… Reese.” It worked! Witherspoon indeed took the role, the movie was a hit, and the two became great friends. 

Strayed is super-famous because of Wild, which is the same reason Oprah loves her, but she’s also beloved for her advice column, Dear Sugar, which she started writing at The Rumpus around the time that Wild was about to blow up. She wrote it anonymously at first, and for no pay. She just fell in love with the idea of turning an advice column into a forum for literary essays about life. She had ample material to draw on: an impoverished childhood in rural Minnesota; a much-loved mother who passed away when Strayed was 22; a downward spiral that ensued and involved a lot of sex and heroin; and a life-changing, soul-finding, shoe-destroying solo trek along the Pacific Crest Trail. 

A couple weeks ago, I met Strayed in Portland, Oregon, where it was raining for the first time in several months, and we talked about how she still feels abject terror when faced with a blank page, how if she goes to the Oscars again, she’ll wear Dr. Martens, and about some mountain-themed advice George Saunders gave her about finding her own way forward as a writer. 

“I really believe story is essential to us,” Cheryl told me, lighting a candle for all who believe in the power of writing, “and we need it individually, collectively; we need those stories to tell us who we are, to show us who we can be.”

https://cherylstrayed.substack.com/

Cheryl’s recommended read:

Oldster by Sari Botton:

[Sari] has this wonderful take on aging. And what I love about her focus is she always says, “Oldster is not for people who are getting older.” The whole idea of aging at whatever age you are—when you’re 12, you’re aging. We use that word to only mean old people, but really it’s about what does this experience of aging teach us? What do we learn from being 22 and 42 and 72 and 102? And people write about that and they answer this questionnaire. And it’s always very inspiring and interesting to read. I love that.

Show notes

Cheryl Strayed’s Dear Sugar

Find Cheryl on Twitter and her personal website

Wild by Cheryl Strayed (paperback)

[01:46] Her mother being portrayed by Laura Dern in Wild

[05:56] Losing someone close to you

[10:58] Working with Reese Witherspoon

[16:21] Finally finding financial freedom

[20:08] Having “How did I get here?” moments

[21:20] Falling in love with words

[23:00] Murder on my feet

[24:00] Dear Sugar in The Rumpus

[26:47] Taking over the Dear Sugar column

[30:09] Early writing on the internet

[31:20] The power of story

[35:25] Social media as a gift for writers

[40:40] Restarting Dear Sugar as a Substack 

[45:00] Keep Walking, by Cheryl Strayed, a scene cut from Wild 

[48:20] Advice from George Saunders 

[52:25] Going into the cave, as a writer

[53:35] Oldster by Sari Botton

[54:33] Advice writers Cheryl recommends: Ask E. Jean by E. Jean Carroll, ¡Hola Papi! by John Paul Brammer, and Ask Polly by Heather Havrilesky.

[55:04] Other Substacks Cheryl loves: Craft Talk by Jami Attenberg, Story Club by George Saunders, Your Local Epidemiologist by Katelyn Jetelina, Austin Kleon’s newsletter, and The Audacity by Roxane Gay.

The Active Voice is a podcast hosted by Hamish McKenzie, featuring weekly conversations with writers about how the internet is affecting the way they live and write. It is produced by Hanne Winarsky, with audio engineering by Seven Morris, content production by Hannah Ray, and production support from Bailey Richardson. All artwork is by Joro Chen, and music is by Phelps & Munro.

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit post.substack.com