It’s a disaster just how muchthe fear flickers in my mindAll the timeClocks tickingHissing more reallyA nest of snakes I’ve wokenBy stepping on them all simultaneously

HiHi snakesHi ssssnakessss

It’s such a puzzle, a switch I can’t seem to hitch off Naked if I don’t protect myselfNaked if I doEven a child of four can see what a loss that is

BooBoo hooBoo hoooo hoooo

There’s no use crying they sayBut I gobble up tears likeSo much manna The nectar the honeyFood

GoodFoodGood God Food

I am a godI amI have the mannaI dictate to the snakesI control the clocks

It’s so obvious nowSuch a fitHow did I miss it?

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Welcome to The ALIVE hour.

Illustration: Shannon ColónAudio mixing + music: Chloe RileyNarrative: Libby Battaglia

Things found in real life

* This wallpaper detail of a boy herding his goat:

* This magnificent tea with all of its cute little things (milk, honey, hot for hours):

Things found on the internet

* This excerpt from the Sandra Cisnero essay “Eleven”:

What they don't understand about birthdays and what they never tell you is that when you're eleven, you're also ten, and nine, and eight, and seven, and six, and five, and four, and three, and two, and one. And when you wake up on your eleventh birthday you expect to feel eleven, but you don't. You open your eyes and everything's just like yesterday, only it's today. And you don't feel eleven at all. You feel like you're still ten. And you are—underneath the year that makes you eleven.

* This observation from writer/director/life observer Sarah Polley:

So I realized that I’m a grown-ass, forty-three-year-old woman and I am actually in control of this production right now. The truth is that I’ve had agency and choice for a long time, I just didn’t notice.

* This milk and cookies cake, made by New York Times columnist Roxane Gay in tribute to her younger brother, Joel, who died last year.

Don’t limit your cakes to birthdays or special occasions, Gay says. Eat them whenever you want.

Magic things

See the photo from today’s episode on The ALIVE hour, *magic edition,* here. ✨

***

Bake the cake. Eat the cake. Don’t wait. <3

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thealivehour.substack.com