Ben Goresky sits down with longtime friend and brotherhood leader Steve Parr for a conversation about struggle, mentorship, leadership, and what real brotherhood looks like between men.

Steve shares the early years of his life: a childhood marked by boundary-testing, a lack of strong containment, painful lessons around discipline and repair, and a long search for structure, belonging, and masculine guidance. He opens up about depression, anxiety, self-destruction, risky self-initiation in his twenties, and the absence of older men who could help him make sense of his path.

Ben and Steve also explore what made Arka different from other men’s work, why strong male leadership matters, how brotherhood helped shape Steve into a leader, and what it means for men to stay in relationship through power struggles, change, and repair. 

The back half of the episode becomes a living example of male friendship: challenge, love, reciprocity, trust, and the kind of brotherhood most men rarely get to see.

This is a conversation for men looking for mentorship, stronger male relationships, deeper brotherhood, and a clearer path into mature masculinity.

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In this episode of Arka Talks, Arka Co-Director Matt Cooke sits down with Lee Hettig - longtime brotherhood member, and senior leader/trainer - for a grounded conversation about how men get stuck, and what actually helps them move again.

Lee shares the turning points that shaped his path through men’s work: opening up about alcohol, money, anxiety, isolation, and the lone wolf mentality that keeps many men trapped behind competence, performance, and secrecy. He speaks candidly about mental health, functional freeze, hyper-independence, masculinity, and the role brotherhood has played in helping him tell the truth, stay connected, and take action when life got dark.

Matt and Lee also explore what it means to be a man in today’s world, how men can build earned confidence instead of performative masculinity, and why self-knowledge, shadow work, and reality-checking are essential parts of growth and leadership.

This is a conversation for men who feel stuck, isolated, or split inside themselves - and for anyone who wants a more honest look at men’s work, brotherhood, and the path of real change.

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Matt Cooke sits down with longtime Arka leader and relationship teacher Nick Solaczek to talk about the path many men take into brotherhood. For Nick, it started in a difficult period of life: no money, no clear direction, and a sense that something needed to change.

An invitation into a men’s group became a turning point.

The conversation explores what men’s work actually gives men: confidence, groundedness, honest feedback, and the ability to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with other men without competition or posturing.

Matt and Nick also dig into the deeper challenges men face in relationships - the tendency to withdraw, the “lone wolf” mindset many men carry, and how learning to take responsibility for our inner world changes how we show up with partners, friends, and the world.

This is a conversation about masculinity, brotherhood, and the long road of becoming a man who knows himself.

If you’ve ever wondered what men’s groups are really about, this episode opens the door.

About Nick Solaczek

Trained in evidence-based couples therapy approaches, Nick focuses on helping couples experience real change, not just talk about it. His work centers on building emotional safety, honesty, clarity, and lasting intimacy so couples can stop merely surviving their relationship and start truly thriving together.

Links:

Highly Successful Couples

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Arka Brotherhood

Arka is an international brotherhood dedicated to helping men develop leadership, integrity, and self-mastery through weekly circles and training.

Real men. Real stories. The path of the conscious warrior.

Phil T. Mistlberger is a transpersonal therapist who founded The Arka Brotherhood. He is the author of 7 books, founder and facilitator of Conscious Relationship Trainings, and an avid painter. 

In this episode, Ben Goresky sits down with Phil, covering Phil’s early life, the roots of his transformational path through martial arts and inner work, and the turning points that lead him to begin his journey with men’s work. Phil breaks down men’s competitive and egotistical instincts, and how to combat those with intentional brotherhood and inner work.

They also break down key Arka elements like the 14 Point Code, the “Samurai Stare”, and the meaning of  “I’ve got your back”.

Phil T. Mistlberger is the founder of Arka Brotherhood and a longtime teacher in men’s work, conscious relationship training, and transformational practice. He is the author of multiple books on psychology, spirituality, and human development, and has spent decades studying and teaching across wisdom traditions, inner work modalities, and embodied training.

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Ben Goresky - Arka Brotherhood co-director - shares about the road from addiction and loneliness to co-leading a global brotherhood. It’s a raw conversation about men’s mental health, leadership, and the art of living a life full of chosen responsibilities.

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He walked into men's work not knowing what he was signing up for, and left with a deeper sense of purpose and a mission to serve. In this episode, we explore brotherhood, leadership, and what changes in a man's life when he takes responsibility for those around him. Today’s guest is Matt Cooke, co-director of The Arka Brotherhood.

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Real Men. Real Stories. The Path of the Conscious Warrior.

In this episode, we set the foundation for The Arka Talks men’s work podcast. Ben Goresky breaks down the story and principles behind our brotherhood, inviting men from around the world to step into one of our leadership training circles for the first time. 

In this episode

Key takeaways

If this episode gets you interested in what’s to come, subscribe and share it with someone who’s ready to grow - or learn more at arkabrotherhood.com.

Welcome to the Arka Talks Podcast from the ARKA Brotherhood — a global community of men committed to growth, truth, and conscious leadership.