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For a long time, hyper-independence felt like strength.
When people disappoint you enough times, you learn to rely on yourself. You learn not to ask for help. You learn to solve everything alone.
But over time, that armour can turn into a wall.
In this episode, I reflect on the years after my grandmother passed away—the last person I felt I could truly rely on—and how that loss quietly pushed me deeper into hyper-independence.
I talk about:
• why asking for help can feel like being a burden
• how disappointment shapes the way we relate to others
• the difference between resilience and isolation
• and why learning to ask for small things again might be one of the most important forms of healing
Hyper-independence protected me for a long time.
But maybe the next stage of growth is learning how to let people show up for us.
By Jay SonFor a long time, hyper-independence felt like strength.
When people disappoint you enough times, you learn to rely on yourself. You learn not to ask for help. You learn to solve everything alone.
But over time, that armour can turn into a wall.
In this episode, I reflect on the years after my grandmother passed away—the last person I felt I could truly rely on—and how that loss quietly pushed me deeper into hyper-independence.
I talk about:
• why asking for help can feel like being a burden
• how disappointment shapes the way we relate to others
• the difference between resilience and isolation
• and why learning to ask for small things again might be one of the most important forms of healing
Hyper-independence protected me for a long time.
But maybe the next stage of growth is learning how to let people show up for us.