In this episode, Angela opens Season 3 by exploring one of the most common and most costly patterns in close relationships: listening to defend rather than listening to understand.

Drawing from Gottman Method research and Emotion-Focused Therapy, Angela unpacks why defensiveness isn't the enemy but rather a nervous system signal, what happens when protection replaces connection, and how learning to truly hear your partner can transform conflict into closeness, one pause at a time.

Relationship Reset Challenge

The Rapaport Practice Round

Set a timer for five minutes and try one full Rapaport round: one person speaks, one person only listens and reflects.

When the speaker says "yes, you got it," switch. No rebuttals. No fixing. Just: do you understand me? Notice what shifts when someone feels truly heard, even once.

Resources Mentioned

• Arms Open Counselling resources and blog posts: www.armsopencounselling.com

Connect with Us

If today’s episode resonated with you, share it with a partner or friend! Follow @ArmsOpenCounselling on Instagram and Facebook for more relationship wisdom, behind-the-scenes therapy insights, and heart-centered tips.

Presented by: Angela Kingma

Edited by: Tayte McHugh