Criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling — they show up in every relationship at some point. In this episode, Angela breaks down what these “Four Horsemen” actually look and sound like in everyday life, why they happen, and the small, simple shifts couples can make to create more connection and less conflict. This is a practical, judgment-free guide to recognizing harmful patterns early and choosing healthier communication that feels good for both partners.

Relationship Reset Challenge

Choose one Horseman you fall into most often and practice its antidote every day for the next week:

• Criticism → Gentle startup
• Contempt → One daily appreciation
• Defensiveness → Own 2%
• Stonewalling → Take a break with a return time

Resources Mentioned

• John & Julie Gottman – The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
• Arms Open Counselling resources and blog posts: www.armsopencounselling.com

Connect with Us

If today’s episode resonated with you, share it with a partner or friend! Follow @ArmsOpenCounselling on Instagram and Facebook for more relationship wisdom, behind-the-scenes therapy insights, and heart-centered tips.

Presented by: Angela Kingma

Edited by: Tayte McHugh

The holidays can bring closeness, joy, and meaningful traditions — and they can also magnify stress, tension, and disconnection in relationships. In this episode, Angela explores why couples often struggle more during the holiday season, how stress and expectations impact connection, and what actually helps couples slow down and stay emotionally close. Grounded in the Gottman Method and Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), this conversation offers warmth, humour, and practical tools for navigating real-life love during a busy season.

Relationship Reset Challenge

Set aside 15 uninterrupted minutes this week and take turns answering:

1. One thing that’s been draining me lately
2. One way I feel connected to you
3. One small thing we could do this week to feel closer

Listen without fixing or defending — just be present with each other.

Resources Mentioned

• John Gottman – insights on stress, expectations, and connection
• Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) – Understanding emotional needs and attachment in relationships
• Arms Open Counselling resources and blog posts: www.armsopencounselling.com

Connect with Us

If today’s episode resonated with you, share it with a partner or friend. Follow @ArmsOpenCounselling on Instagram and Facebook for more relationship wisdom, behind-the-scenes therapy insights, and heart-centered tips.

Presented by: Angela Kingma

Edited by: Tayte McHugh

Sorry for the gap in uploads, life got busy as it tends to do. This episode gets very real, very raw. In it, Angela explores the sometimes difficult, but always worthwhile reality of long-term relationships. She pulls from her personal experience to provide a perspective she believes is sorely lacking in relationship media.

Please enjoy this bonus episode. Regularly scheduled uploads will be returning shortly.

Connect with Us

If today’s episode resonated with you, share it with a partner or friend!

Follow @ArmsOpenCounselling on Instagram and Facebook for more relationship wisdom, behind-the-scenes therapy insights, and heart-centered tips.

Presented by Angela Kingma

Edited by Tayte McHugh

In this episode, Angela explores how just five intentional hours a week can transform your relationship. Drawing from the Gottman Method and Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT), she shares how to build daily rituals of connection that strengthen trust, friendship, and emotional safety. Discover how small, consistent habits can rekindle closeness — no grand gestures required.

Relationship Reset Challenge

Create your own 5-Hour Love Plan this week. Ask each other:

• What’s one ritual we can add in the morning?
• What does a comforting reunion look like for us?
• How can we bring back a little fun or play?
• When can we schedule a weekly check-in?

Remember — it’s not about perfection; it’s about presence.

Resources Mentioned

• John & Julie Gottman – The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
• Dr. Sue Johnson – Hold Me Tight (EFT framework for emotional connection)
• Arms Open Counselling resources and blog posts: www.armsopencounselling.com

Connect with Us

If today’s episode resonated with you, share it with a partner or friend! Follow @ArmsOpenCounselling on Instagram and Facebook for more relationship wisdom, behind-the-scenes therapy insights, and heart-centered tips.

Presented by: Angela Kingma

Edited by: Tayte McHugh

Season 1: Foundations of Connection

Title: Spotting the Tiny Moments that Build Love

Bids for connection are the tiny invitations we send our partner every day — a glance, a sigh, a question, a playful comment. In this episode, Angela explains how recognizing and responding to those small moments can transform the emotional climate of a relationship.

Drawing from Gottman Method research and Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT), you’ll learn how to identify bids, understand the attachment needs beneath them, and turn toward your partner in ways that build lasting safety, trust, and laughter.

Relationship Reset Challenge

This week, catch two bids a day and respond. Pause before defaulting to distraction, and intentionally turn toward instead. Before bed, reflect together:

“When did we connect today?” “When did we miss each other’s bids?”

Resources Mentioned

• John & Julie Gottman, The Relationship Cure — definitive guide to bids for connection.
• Dr. Sue Johnson, Hold Me Tight — Emotion-Focused Therapy for couples.
• Arms Open Counselling resources and blog posts: www.armsopencounselling.com

Connect with Us

If today’s episode resonated with you, share it with a partner or friend who could use a little reminder that love grows in tiny moments. Follow @ArmsOpenCounselling on Instagram and Facebook for more relationship wisdom, behind-the-scenes therapy insights, and heart-centered tips.

Presented by Angela Kingma

Edited by Tayte McHugh

Season 1: Foundations of Connection

Title: The Power of Tiny Rituals

When it comes to keeping love alive, most people imagine big romantic gestures: surprise trips, candlelit dinners, or elaborate date nights. But research shows it’s the tiny rituals—the everyday, repeated moments of connection—that keep relationships strong.

In this episode, Angela explores why small rituals matter more than grand gestures, how they build trust, intimacy, and belonging, and how couples can create their own meaningful rituals. Drawing from both Gottman Method research and Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), you’ll learn how to weave love into the fabric of daily life—without adding stress or another “to-do.”

Relationship Reset

Choose one tiny ritual to create or strengthen this week. It could be a goodbye kiss, a daily text, or asking: “What was the best part of your day?” Stick with it for 7 days and notice how it changes your connection.

Arms Open Counselling

At Arms Open Counselling, we help couples strengthen their relationships using proven approaches like the Gottman Method and Emotionally Focused Therapy. If you’d like support creating stronger connections in your own relationship, we’re here for you.

Serving small-town communities with heart-centred mental health care.

Visit Arms Open Counselling

Presented by Angela Kingma

Edited by Tayte McHugh

Season 1: Foundations of Connection

Episode 1: Getting to Know Your Partner All Over Again

Remember those early days when you wanted to know everything about your partner? That curiosity built the foundation of your relationship—and it’s something you can keep refreshing.

In this episode, Angela Kingma, Clinical Director at Arms Open Counselling, shares how Love Maps (a Gottman Method tool) can help you stay connected, even when life gets messy.

Relationship Reset:

Ask just ONE Love Map question this week and see what unfolds.

Need a little extra support? Our team at Arms Open Counselling is here to help you strengthen your relationships and care for your mental health. https://www.armsopencounselling.com/

Because here, it’s all about “Where love meets real life.”

Presented by Angela Kingma

Edited by Tayte McHugh

First episode will go up on Tuesday September 23, 2025 at 5am EST.

Look for it wherever you get your podcasts!