The Art of Making Things Happen (Bluefishing) Steve Sims

Steve discusses how to communicate better with your clients by keeping it short.

Father Greg Boyle, the priest that started Homeboy Industries. Homeboy Industries is the largest gang intervention rehab re-entry program in the US. Here is some background on the man that didn’t give up.

• Father Greg started in the poorest parish with the highest gang concentration
• There were a total of 8 different gangs at war with one another
• He buried 226 kids in his first few years
• Even with all of that, he never thought about leaving the parish or the neighborhood, he chose to stay and help

So how do you get a bunch of gang members to listen and work with you? According to Father Greg, you start by doing the listening.

• By listening to someone you are allowing yourself to be reached, and in being reachable you begin to build a foundation
• The mission was never about telling the gang members what to do or how to do it, the message was about the individuals and hope
• Instead of telling them what to do, they held up a mirror to them and built them up so they would inhabit the truth and do it for themselves
• It’s about context and transformation rather than content and information - context brings about healing and a sense of community, content simply gives the guidelines and rules
• The biggest way Father Greg made an impact with the gang members was by letting him know he was there and he cared about them
• You are the boss of you - do things when you are ready
• Women work things out face to face, Men work things out shoulder to shoulder

Father Greg quotes Mother Teresa in the episode, stating that we are called to be faithful not to be successful. Through staying faithful to an approach and methodology he believed in, Father Greg was able to help many people help themselves.

To learn more about Homeboy Industries please visit: https://www.homeboyindustries.org/

Homeboy Industries is a $20 million per year endeavor. Half of that is raised through the enterprising of the company, the rest comes from donations.

Alice Little is the number one sex entrepreneur and relationship expert. Alice Little stands at 4’8” but her presence is much bigger. She explains how being able to speak about the most uncomfortable, most stigmatized topic, makes her an excellent communicator - something that people come to the ranch for far more than sex. Some interesting things about the Bunny Ranch where Alice works are:

• The facility has an on site doctor that the women see once a week
• Clients can either request a specific woman or participate in a lineup to find who interests them most
• The difference between a legal prostitute and an illegal one is that the legal one has complete control of who they work with or choose not to work with
• Some of the clients at the Ranch aren’t even there for sex

If not for sex, why are they there? Alice speaks about all the distractions in day to day life and how people are no longer present and in the moment. The need for intimacy and companionship is the largest driving force that brings people to the Ranch. Alice is an open book and can provide that to her clients. Throughout the episode she speaks to the things she looks for in a client as well as breaks down some of the walls up around sex.

• Outward appearance doesn’t indicate who you are on the inside, and what is on the inside is always far more important
• In order the be better communicators, we need to learn to be present in the moment, have and maintain direct eye contact, and to be comfortable in our own skin
• Content is superior to appearance and leads to the genuine and authentic
• Sex can be cheap, the value is in the intimacy
• While love can have a sexual component there is far more to love than sex and on the flip side sex can simply be an act or it can be an act tied in with an emotion
• Social media and pornography are a caricature of reality

What’s next for Alice? Given her ability to communicate so effortlessly about sex and being a sex worker, she’s looking to tackle education. Only 13 out of the 50 US States require scientifically accurate sexual education. As a sex worker, she’s seen the negative effects of this first hand. She brings her open book personality to her podcast and website and is ready and willing to answer any questions you might have. Just don’t objectify her or you’ll be in for some serious schooling about what it really means to be a sex worker and the power of communication.

You can find Alice Little at: www.thealicelittle.com, by email at [email protected] or give her podcasts a listen: Coffee with Alice, and Wing Woman.

An experience far out weighs the traditional purchase of a gift. A gift will be forgotten but an experience will leave long lasting memories.

Brendan Carr interviews Steve D. Sims, a man that is no stranger to making things happen. Through his company Bluefish, Steve curates amazing experiences for his clients. The kind that will make them sit up in bed at 2am and exclaim “I can’t believe I actually did that!” In the show, Steve walks us through how he is able to make those experiences happen.

• Passion fuels results - the things you are passionate about motivate you to get the job done
• Get people to advocate for your passion
• Communication is the key to everything
• Being good at communicating leads to being good at listening
• Gauge reactions - you’ll learn a lot faster through watching and listening to reactions
• When you listen to people and gauge their reactions, you will find out what they desire and need versus what they are asking for
• Bring value - make it a win-win for all parties, when you are asking for something, present the value in it for the other person first
• Ask ‘why’ and ask three times
• Nurture your relationships and take excellent care of them

While the whole podcast is a wealth of knowledge, here are some awesome tips and tricks from Steve:

• Implement ‘No Email Tuesday’ or whatever day of the week you like. Read all your emails the first hour of the day and then respond in any fashion that isn’t email.
• Your stomach is sharper than your eyes. What is your gut telling you? It’s not subject to the lies that visual cues can give us, so always go with your gut.
• Relationships have opportunity costs - an asshole doesn’t get better with age. Cut off the bad relationships and get the negative people out of your life.
• There is a millimeter difference between fear and excitement - it’s in the framework.
• Experiences > price tags, always.

No one cares about the struggles you've been through, we've all been there at least once. Be respected by your strengths and character, not by the shit that you've been through.

Steve shares that buying a gift won't be as impactful as buying an experience for your loved ones. 

Chris Voss. To get to the level of being a hostage negotiator for the FBI, you’ve got to be an skilled communicator. Chris Voss is just that and no stranger to making things happen. In this episode he shares communication insights and teaches that negotiation is perishable.

• Look for how people tell the truth - we only tell the truth one way but we lie 7 or 8 different ways
• Truth comes in the corrections - if you can get someone to correct you, they’ll feel authoritative and in charge and they’ll give more information
• Smiling is a good business practice - smiling at someone positively changes their brain chemistry and makes them more open to communication
• We are 31% smarter in a positive frame of mind
• The old saying ‘seek first to understand and then to be understood’ can be expanded to seek first to show how/what you understand because that helps the other side open up
• “You’re right” is a convo ender - the other side doesn’t feel understood so they just want you to stop talking
• If you can call out the elephant in the room, you are seen as more authoritative, responsible and responsive
• 63-64 reps build the skill in your head

In addition to the reps building the skill, Chris also had these great tips about becoming an excellent communicator:

• Take your time and let the convos come to you
• Low stakes practice for your high stakes performances
• Make verbal observations ie, when someone says “do you have a minute to talk?” respond “sounds like there is something on your mind” - you’ll get to the root faster with a shorter conversation and the other party will feel understood
• Whoever names price first loses; whoever is doing the most talking is losing
• In conversations it should be 5:1 listening to talking. Use your five senses to listen

For more great information about communicating well and effectively, you can text FBIEMPATHY to 22828 - this gets you subscribed to Chris’ newsletter ‘The Edge’. You can also check out his book ‘Never Split the Difference; Negotiate like Your Life Depends On It.’ You can learn more about Chris at blackswanltd.com

Steve Sims is a former brick layer from London, he has no fear of keeping things real. Steve shares with you what you can expect on his podcasts.