Introduction:

Hello, dear listeners, and welcome back to another episode of Spirituality for the Politically Incorrect. In today’s world, many people are experiencing immense challenges. Whether it’s global changes, social unrest, or personal hardships, the shifting energies of our time can bring out the best—and sometimes the worst—in people. As emotions run high and tensions increase, you may find yourself encountering more rudeness, impatience, or outright nastiness than ever before.

But how should you respond? Should you retaliate? Ignore?

Or is there another way to handle these situations—one that allows you to maintain your dignity while also fostering greater understanding? Today, we’ll explore the practical ways to deal with difficult people while keeping your composure and grace intact.

So, let’s get right into It.

No one really enjoys dealing with rude or spiteful people. Our immediate instinct is often to avoid them altogether. However, that’s not always possible—especially if the difficult person is a coworker, your boss, a family member, or a customer. Since avoidance isn’t always an option, how can you respond in a way that preserves your inner peace and self-respect?

Responding vs. Reacting

Well, let’s begin with a clear understanding of the difference between responding vs. reacting.

Responding and reacting to a negative encounter may seem similar, but they are very different. Reacting is often immediate, emotional, and impulsive driven by defensiveness, frustration, anger, or hurt, and it usually escalates the situation rather than resolving it.

Responding, on the other hand, involves a conscious choice. It requires pausing, assessing the situation objectively, and choosing words or actions that align with dignity and self-control. A response is thoughtful and intentional, aiming for resolution rather than striking back. By choosing to respond rather than react, you maintain your inner peace and prevent unnecessary conflict.

Spiritual Perspective

Now, from a spiritual perspective, responding comes from a place of “centeredness,” of having a certain level of mastery over your emotions. Think of the concept of “pushing your buttons,” These “buttons” are usually triggering areas in our psychology or past experiences where we feel we have to defend ourselves.

Probably the greatest teaching I have heard on mastering our emotions is from the master Saint Germain. He says that we should never be surprised, disappointed or hurt. Now, I know, that sounds like a tall order. And there are people who say, “I’m human. I have emotions. I don’t want to deny them.”

But controlling your emotions is not the same as denying or “stuffing” them. Rather, it is, again, being centered in your Higher Self, the spiritual part of you that isn’t surprised, disappointed or hurt.

Now it doesn’t mean that you feel nothing. Rather it means that when one of these emotions arise, you do not embrace it. You don’t wallow in your disappointment or hurt or surprise. You acknowledge the hurt or disappointment or surprise but remain, or move back into, your centeredness.

Now, has the majority of humanity mastered this? No, but if you are on a spiritual path, you definitely want to strive to stay at one with your Higher Self—God within you.

So, let’s break it down like this, with a step-by-step analysis of what you can do when someone is being difficult, nasty or verbally attacking you in some way.

Know that it’s Okay to Ask What’s Wrong

Consider that sometimes, a person’s rudeness isn’t personal. They may be overwhelmed, stressed, or dealing with private struggles. By calmly and compassionately asking if they’re okay, you might shift the energy of the situation.

It reminds me of a story I heard a man tell of how he was riding a transit in one of the cities and another man who was with three children was in the same car with him. The children were acting out, being loud and obnoxious, running around clearly bothering others, and the father seemed unphased. He just sat there and didn’t do anything to curtail their behavior.

The man telling the story was thinking what a poor father this man was—not disciplining his children when they were clearly disturbing others. So, he had had enough and he confronted the father—in a gentle but direct way—and the father immediately apologized. He said that the children had just lost their mother in the hospital, and they were having a really hard time coping with it. And of course, that meant the father had just lost his wife. So, we never really know what someone might be facing to cause negative or rude reactions.

Of course, this doesn’t mean excusing bad behavior. But showing genuine concern can sometimes help the person become aware of their own actions and spare you from judging a situation that may not be as it appears. In other words, genuinely asking in order to help is an example of responding rather than reacting.

Stay Objective and ask yourself, “Is the Nastiness Worth a Response?”

Before reacting, take a step back. Ask yourself: Is what they’re saying or doing actually worth engaging with?

Many times, rudeness is not even about you—it’s a reflection of another’s inner turmoil. Responding in kind only escalates the negativity. Instead, by viewing the situation objectively, you can decide whether it even deserves your energy.

Be Careful not to add Fuel to the Fire

Reacting with anger or aggression will only intensify the conflict. If someone is dramatic or intentionally rude, the best thing you can do is remain calm and refuse to be dragged into their emotional storm. Maintaining your dignity is far more powerful than engaging in unnecessary conflict.

Rather, Address the Issue with a Calm Conversation

If rudeness persists, it’s okay to address it. Calmly ask the person if they realize how their words or actions are affecting you. Sometimes, they may not even be aware. If they care, they will likely adjust their behavior. If they don’t, that tells you everything you need to know about how close you want to be with them in the future.

Lead with Kindness (Even When It’s Hard)

This may sound counterintuitive, but kindness can be incredibly disarming. When faced with someone’s negativity, responding with patience and understanding can sometimes soften their approach.

While this doesn’t work in every situation, and you shouldn’t tolerate continued mistreatment, being a role model for dignity can sometimes inspire change in the other person. Remember, you can’t change anyone else, but you can change yourself. Your reactions can inspire change in others.

If Necessary, Avoid Toxicity

Sometimes, the best response is no response. If a person continually treats you with disrespect and shows no willingness to change, it may be best to step away.

Remember, your energy and peace of mind are precious. Protecting yourself from negativity isn’t avoidance—it’s self-care.

Don’t Gossip About the Situation

Now it can be tempting to vent about a rude person to others, but this often does more harm than good. Gossip can escalate tensions and reflect poorly on you. Instead, if the situation needs addressing, go directly to the appropriate people—whether that’s an HR department, a manager, or a trusted mentor or counselor.

However, if someone’s behavior crosses the line into bullying or harassment, speaking up to the right authorities is crucial.

Life definitely presents us with many opportunities to practice patience, wisdom, and grace. Responding to rudeness with dignity doesn’t mean being weak—it means choosing strength through composure. Every difficult encounter is a chance to reinforce the kind of person you want to be.

So, the next time you face rudeness, take a deep breath, stay objective, and remember: your response defines you, not them.

Thank you for being with me today. If you found this episode helpful, please share it with someone who might need this message. And as always, stay grounded, stay kind, and keep shining your light in the world.

Until next time, take care and be well.

Get full access to Spirituality for the Politically Incorrect at nancyshowalter.substack.com/subscribe