In this episode of The Crux, Ryan Ginn and Dr. Luke Adler explore how men can share vulnerability in relationships without triggering shame or defensiveness. Prompted by a recent course participant’s experience of feeling shamed after opening up, they discuss the importance of emotional responsibility, maintaining agency when sharing feelings, and avoiding emotional fusion.

Ryan shares a personal story of jealousy as his wife prepares for a retreat, modeling how to express vulnerability without projecting it. The conversation highlights how shaming responses can damage connection and stresses the need for mutual agreements that create emotional safety.

Drawing on insights from Stan Tatkin, they explore the link between safety, attraction, and compatibility, concluding that one partner’s conscious leadership can shift relationship dynamics. For more, visit beingmen.net.

00:00:00 - Introduction to Vulnerability in Relationships

00:00:22 - The Challenge of Sharing Vulnerability

00:01:17 - Understanding Threat Responses

00:02:44 - Fusing with Vulnerable Parts

00:04:18 - Personal Example: Jealousy and Vulnerability

00:08:28 - Finding the Middle Way

00:10:30 - The Importance of Emotional Expression

00:12:08 - Navigating Shaming Responses

00:14:12 - Establishing Non-Negotiables in Communication

00:16:05 - The Role of Safety in Relationships

00:17:23 - Confronting Unhealthy Dynamics

00:19:49 - The Power of One Partner's Awareness

00:22:12 - Leading with Consciousness

00:24:09 - Conclusion and Upcoming Programs