The Ascertainers

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Thanks for coming back!  We resolved most of our audio issues brought about by taking the show on the road to Mark's place.  No excuses now.  

• Blame Jim's hair
• The human disposal
• Abe's 60th
• Andy's got the gout
• Fake knee update
• Pizza review--Bricksworth
• Shoutout Pat K
• GI Joe with the Bob Dole Grip
• Try to be funny SNL
• Taylor Swift shade
• The downfall of music?
• Newt's--You're Still the One
• RIP a bunch of people
• New SKU for MyPillow
• Death talk (but in a good way)
• Songs of the Week:
  • Sports--Viagra Boys
  • It's all Over Now,  Baby Blue--Them
• The Heating Dude

#NewtsAppleValleyMN
#ColinBalesBenefitFund

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Viagra Boys - Sports (Official Video)

Them - It's All Over Now, Baby Blue ( ROCKER 1972 )

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Since Mark is recovering from his knee replacement, we took the show on the road (to his house).  The audio is seriously iffy--thanks for your understanding.  We know what caused it and it will be fixed!  Also--the wives join us!

• Mark's knee replacement
• Nurse Ratchet
• The bump in the night
• The knee fairy?
• Our temporary set up
• Mark's class reunion
• Dixie from Emergency
• Hi Karen!
• Yoko
• Newt's--They do takeout too!
• MarkGPT
• Laugh riot
• Songs of the Week:
  • Superstar--The Carpenters
  • Sign of the Times--Harry Styles
  • Nicole--Point Blank
  • Killing the Blues--Robert Plant and Alison Krauss
• Bob Dole grip

#NewtsAppleValleyMN
#ColinBalesBenefitFund

[email protected]

Carpenters - Superstar - YouTube

Harry Styles - Sign of the Times (Official Video)

Nicole - POINT BLANK

Robert Plant & Alison Krauss - Killing The Blues (Live Jools Holland 2008)

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We don't talk about the Gophers the whole time, Jim just liked that title so much...  This is a sports-heavy episode, though.  It moves along rather nicely for us.

• Medical Minute
• 'Merica
• Mark reviews Cygnus X-1
• Wax on whacks off
• Maybe just leave the Band-Aid on
• Newt's--it'll be moist
• Get well soon, Ellie (Jim's mom)
• the Whimpy Diet
• Tale of two QB's
• Big props, Brian Flores
• Head Coach bona fides
• They don't fire the players
• You can't spit in here
• Mark and PJ sitting in a tree...
• Ski-U-Meh
• Frogtown
• Football color guys
• Songs of the Week:
  • Allison--Elvis Costello
  • Pump it Up--Elvis Costello & the Attractions
• Can I get some more Chalamet over here?

#NewtsAppleValleyMN
#ColinBalesBenefitFund

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ELVIS COSTELLO Alison 1977

Elvis Costello & The Attractions - Pump It Up

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We are joined by Jim's wife, Kris who had quite a week.  Between her exotic train trip to Milwaukee (jealous?) and her class reunion, we're just glad she found time to hang out with us.

• Mark's Japanese beer review
• Shoutout Linda--our loyal Milwaukee listener!
• Train travel recap
• There'll be no smokin' on the bus
• The Amish--what's their deal?
• Errors & Ommissions
• Condoleezza Rice
• The Class Reunion...
• Mark's body double
• Songs of the Week
  • Keep on Lovin' You -- REO Speedwagon
  • Ready For Love -- The Mick Ralphs version
  • Zugzegk -- Angine de Poitrine
• Shatner does metal
• Prom stories
• She ended up leaving with Jim (happily ever after)

#NewtsAppleValleyMN
#ColinBalesBenefitFund

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Links to songs of the week will be up soon

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We are joined by our mystery guest one more time.  It's the second recording of the night and our guy Maverick is loosened up and ready to rip!  Even so, this is a surprisingly insightful hang--but fun as hell.

• Duct tape and regret
• Jamie Foxx roasts a dude
• John Marshall HS
• Plan A was comedy
• Open mike
• I'm the dad
• Comedy talk
• Mark's the straight man
• Gay 90's
• Golf recap
• Newts Apple Pie Shake--get it
• How to eat a banana
• Fruits n Veg
• Hydrate
• Songs of the Week:
  • Melissa--The Allman Brothers
  • Figure it Out--Royal Blood
  • Since You Been Gone--Rainbow

#NewtsAppleValleyMN

#ColinBalesBenefitFund

JAMIE FOXX DESTROYS Comedian | I'm Your Conscience

Allman Brothers Blues Band - Melissa - Acoustic - Live Music - Gregg & Dickie Betts - Video

Royal Blood - Figure It Out (Official Video)

Rainbow - Since You've Been Gone

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Not really a knee slapper, but talking about what's on most people's minds 25 years later.

• Shoutout Reilly with the hair
• Shoutout our guy Kent and his date
• Step 1: Go to Newt's.  Step 2: Get the Cuban.
• Remembering 9/11
• 25 years later much has changed
• First responders
• Veterans in power
• Will we ever be united again?
• 2001--a look back
• Lunatic fringe
• Apologies to the Corvette Club
• Still the best country in the world
• Songs of the Week
  • All These Things That I've Done--The Killers
  • Silver Dollar--April Wine

#NewtsAppleValley

#ColinBalesBenefitFund

The Killers - All These Things That I've Done (Official Music Video)

April Wine - Silver Dollar (1978)

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Always good to have the Mystery Guest stop by for a round of golf, some tasty eats and some quality conversation.  Don't forget to check out the links at the bottom with Songs of the Week.

• Call me Maverick
• Golf recap
• Newt's guest reviewer
• Errors & Ommishhh
• Don't hate our Dolly
• 7 Brew
• Krispy Kreme
• Bad move Buc-ee's
• Nerd stuff
• K-Mart
• Yard kids
• Vikings
• Song of the Week
  • Joker and the Thief--Wolfmother
  • Travelin' Man--Bob Seger
  • Steady as She Goes--The Raconteurs
• It Might Get Loud

#NewtsAppleValleyMN
#ColinBalesBenefitFund

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Wolfmother - Joker and the Thief

Bob Seger & The Silver Bullet Band Travellin' Man & Beautiful Loser LIVE w Lyrics in Description

Glastonbury 2008 Live video The Raconteurs Steady As She Goes

Tim Robinson | King of the Slams (Best Scene)

It Might Get Loud | Official Trailer (2009)

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We lost a legend in Dolly Parton.  We try to honor her contributions to society--the Ascertainer's way.

• Artificial Stupidity
• Newt's--Undefeated Nachos
• Lunar Eclipse
• Colin Bales Benefit Fund
• Bela Karolyi facts
• John Paul Jones--not a good dude
• One False Move
• Christopher Nolan Movies
• They Call Me Gaz
• Marv Albert
• Frank Beard
• Moon landing?
• RIP Dolly Parton and Tim Curry
• Only in America
• Shame on you Barbara Walters
• True giving
• Songs of the Week
  • It's All Wrong But It's Alright--Dolly Parton
  • Mercy Mercy Mercy--Cannonball Adderley 
• #NewtsAppleValleyMN
• ColinBalesBenefitFund

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DOLLY PARTON :: It's All Wrong But It's All Right

Cannonball Adderley - Mercy Mercy Mercy, Walk Tall. With Joe Zawinul, Nat Adderley

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Covered a lot of ground on this topic-free episode.  Hard to give it a title (as the title would indicate).  Couple of laughs to be had.  Enjoy.

• Paul McCartney Miles
• Mark with the books again
• Mad Magazine
• Trent Tucker
• Newt's is always the correct choice
• Blues Brothers
• Pescatarian no more
• Hurdle talk
• Songs of the Week:
  • Flyin' High--Ca$ual
  • The Midnight Special--Andy Griffith
• Golf--Mark good, Jim bad
• Tony Romo
• Jack T and his wry smile
• Election Judge
• Leper colony
• The mini van
• Can't drop the dime thing
• Green stamps
• Apache Plaza
• Grease vs West Side Story

#NewtsAppleValleyMN

#ColinBalesBenefitFund

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CA$UAL - FLYIN' BLIND

James Best and Andy Griffith play "The Midnight Special"

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If you here to learn about the Colin Bales Benefit Fund, it starts at around 27:30 minutes in.  While we'd love you to listen to the whole thing, we get it--it's not for everybody.
https://www.facebook.com/share/1JB2cNQktv/?mibextid=wwXIfr
Colin Bales Benefit Fund

• Red beer night
• Newt's--Who's zooming who?
• Actual Amateur Olympians 
• IOC guy--what a dick
• Pat and Sue--We almost had 'em
• Mark's golf comeback
• Gary Cheese
• Election Judge Mark
• The Real Estate Novelist
• Songs of the Week: 
  • Sure Got Cold After the Rain Fell--ZZ Top
  • Last Night --The Strokes
• Billy Bob
• Colin Bales Benefit Fund
• Coin talk
• The Henry Boucha story
• Follow us on Facebook and we'll stop begging

#ColinBalesBenefitFund
#NewtsAppleValleyMN

ZZ Top: Sure Got Cold After The Rain Fell

The Strokes 'Last Nite' TOTP (2001) HD