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5 time guest Chantz and his buddy Alex join us for a matinee recording.  Of course we started the festivities at our awesome sponsor--Newt's in Apple Valley MN.  

• Jim's pending 5K
• Chantz's harrowing triathalon
• The white shorts story and other tales of horror
• Olympic stuff
• Anti-Grease hate
• Jack Black
• Epic movies
• Sports shmorts
• Diseases with human names
• Songs of the Week:
  • Evenflow--Pearl Jam
  • Children of the Sun--Billy Thorp
  • At Night in Dreams--White Denim
  • The Girl From Ipanema--Astrud Gilberto
• More ASL commentary
• Commination breakdown
• Domo arigato Hunter
• Ace and Gary are hitting the town
• Shoutout Tommy in Texas

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Pearl Jam - Even Flow (Official Video)

Children of the Sun (TX '79) - Billy Thorpe

White Denim - At Night In Dreams (Live on KEXP)

Astrud Gilberto and Stan Getz - The Girl From Ipanema (1964) LIVE

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When Mark came up with the idea for this project, he wanted it to be a sports podcast.  Well, today he got his wish as we hit on the Olympics, and the Super Bowl with a little music and some laughs sprinkled in.  Enjoy.

• Weather report
• Get a room
• Jim's last episode
• ASL
• MAGIC
• Super Bowl recap
• Shoutout Guy Gosselin
• Newt's--The Best Sponsor Ever
• Waygu Jim
• Winter Olympics
• Kare 11 sports gal
• Miracle:  The Boys of 80
• Ski jumping
• Biathlon-curious
• Songs of the Week:
  • Turn the Beat Around--Vicki Sue Robinson
  • Little Hurricane--Grand Canyon
• Whoville's worst Cardiologist

#NewtsAppleValleyMN

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Vicki Sue Robinson Turn The Beat Around American Bandstand July 10 1976 HQ

little hurricane grand canyon - (live on tape) - YouTube

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....Eventually.

Fun little episode featuring death, social blunders, wieners and curling.  Tell your friends!

• The dark days of Bugs Bunny
• Newt's--Tell 'em we sent you
• Straight Mark
• TV For Dogs
• Mark's awesome white wine story
• RIP Catherine O'Hara
• RIP Chuck Negron 
• How Three Dog Night was named
• Some actual music talk (I know, right?)
• Geography for 200, Alex
• Wiener talk
• Olympic curling preview
• Songs of the Week:
  • Death May Be Your Santa Claus--Mott the Hoople
  • Sausalito Summernight--Diesel

#NewtsAppleValleyMN
#TV4DMN

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Death May Be Your Santa Claus

Diesel - Sausalito Summernight (1980) lyrics

Take Off

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Nice little episode.  A few laughs, very little negativity and a tasteful amount of nudity.

• Beads
• Two dogs
• Newt's--Sports bar without all the bro's
• 30 gallons
• Chill out
• RIP Pat's Dad
• Loyal listener roll call
• Gilligan's Island
• Werner Klemperer
• Aunt Jemima 
• Back-to-Back Songs
  • We Will Rock You/We are the Champions--Queen
  • This Beat Goes On/Switchin' to Glide--The Kings
  • Feeling That Way/Anytime--Journey
    • Neal Schoen fantasy sequence
  • Tainted Love/Where Did Our Love Go--Soft Cell
  • The Load Out / Stay--Jackson Browne
  • Brain Damage / Eclipse--Pink Floyd
  • Need You Tonight / Mediate--INXS
  • Threshold / Jet Airliner--Steve Miller Band
  • Heartbreaker / Livin' Lovin' Maid--Led Zeppelin

#NewtsAppleValleyMN

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The Kings - This Beat Goes On/Switchin' to Glide

Jackson Browne The Load Out and Stay Live BBC 1978

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A slight departure to start this one.  Things are getting a bit tense for us, and we address how we deal with it.  As an important piece of context, this was recorded the night before the shooting of Alex Pretti in Minneapolis.  The rant is not related to that incident.  

The episode gets a lot happier as we turn to a very incomplete list of American guitarists that we like.

• Newt's--Still Crazy After all These Years!
• NOVA
• Memory Lane
• Jim goes off on the current way we're treating each other
• Can't we all just get along??
• Appreciate (not attack) our differences
• Songs of the Week:
  • For What It's Worth -- Buffalo Springfield
  • Life Without You--Stevie Ray Vaughan
• A VERY INCOMPLETE list of American guitarists we like:
  • Terry Kath, Jerry Garcia, SRV, Jimi Hendrix, BB King, Chuck Berry, Duane Allman, Prince, Neil Schoen, Spider Giraldo, Randy Rhodes, Slash
• Aaand we're back to being happy.  Thanks for your understanding!

#NewtsAppleValleyYourNumberOneSpotForIceColdBeerHotJuicyBurgersAnd OutstandingServiceDidWeMentionItsInAppleValleyMinnesotaNotCalifornia

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Buffalo Springfield - For What It's Worth 1967

Stevie Ray Vaughan - Life Without You | Live at Capitol Theatre (1985)  If you just want to hear some epic advice on treating people go to the 6:00 mark

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Just for fun, Mark invites his college roommate Tommy to join.  That's a bold move, but it wasn't as incriminating as Jim hoped.  Also, Bob Weir of the Grateful Dead died this week (which explains the amount of talk surrounding him).

• The origin story--bodily fluids have entered the chat
• Just outside San Antonio
• Mark's cardigan
• First Grateful Dead show
• Bootlegs
• Thank you for your service
• Enid, OK and the patch controversy
• More Dick's Picks
• The Doors
• Dead & Company
• Bob Weir remembered
• The 1980 MGB
• The stolen Harley and the Pee Wee Herman bike lock
• Boxing & the cracked rib
• Songs of the Week
  • When I Paint My Masterpiece--Grateful Dead
  • Sugar Magnolia--Grateful Dead
  • Althea--Bob Weir and John Mayer
• Adios Amigos

#NewtsAppleValley
#JustOutsideOfSanAntonio
#ThatsALotOfJohnMayerLinks
#RIPBob

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Grateful Dead - When I Paint My Masterpiece - 7/26/1987 - Anaheim Stadium (Official)

The Grateful Dead - Sugar Magnolia - Live '74

The Late Late Show Bob Weir and John Mayer Perform Althea

John Mayer Eulogy for Bob Weir 💀⚡️🌹🙏🏾

John Mayer on Quitting Alchohol

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Kind of a meandering conversation.  In Jim's opinion, it's some of our best work.  And he doesn't even like this podcast.

• Powered by Newt's (Apple Valley, MN)
• Potatoes / Ketchup
• Demographics
• Cosby (sorry)
• Timberlake
• Jessica Beil (what is this--TMZ?)
• We are in the future
• Two man dead pool
• Songs of the Week
  • The Time of the Preacher--Willie Nelson
  • Shining Star--Jerry Garcia Band
• Gingerbread Houses
• Jeff's balls
• Spice journey
• Sloppy Joes
• Used car blues
• Don't judge a book by its cover

#NewtsAppleValleyMN

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Willie Nelson - Time of the Preacher (Live From Austin City Limits, 1976)

Shining Star (2 cam) - Jerry Garcia Band - 11-9-1991 Hampton, Va. set2-02 (LoloYodel)

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This episode has something for everyone.  Philippines history, boxing, burps and one old guy explaining KPOP to another old guy.  Oh, and we're giving away 3 Ascertainers T-shirts!

•  The Philippines
• The Ascertainer's Newt's Nachos Challenge (not in any way affiliated with Newt's)
• Jim time traveled
• Mark could've been a contender
• Thai Curry--can't even hit a 3 pointer
• Burp talk
• RIP Dick Enrico
• Songs of the Weak:
  • Shine For You--Slightly Stoopid with G Love (really)
  • Sharks--Morphine
• Wild Kingdom
• Word Police
• Snoop Dogg
• KPOP
• Shirt Giveaway!

#NewtsAppleValley

Want a free Ascertainers t-shirt?  [email protected]

Shine For You (Official Music Video) - Slightly Stoopid with G. Love

Morphine - Sharks (live, 1994)

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This one was recorded before Christmas, so any current events won't be covered--which helps the episode.  Also, this is the second episode of the night, so if you detect a slight slurring, there's no need to adjust your settings...

• Stevie Ray Vaughn and Christopher Cross Connection
•  Dog days of winter
• Latitude vs longitude lesson (who says this episode isn't cool)
• S.A.D. talk
• Hat tip to So I Married an Axe Murderer
• Who's ready for the Newt's Apple Valley--Ascertainers Bowl
• Iron Mark
• Is that a pickle?
• Spirit Mountain
• Don't ski high, kids
• Songs of the week
  • Crazy Little Thing Called Love--Queen
  • Relax--Frankie goes to Hollywood
• McDonald's and Arby's
• Exposing the Calzone
• Newt's cares--so go there and eat something
• Coors Light doesn't get you drunk
• Progressive Dinner
• Happy New Year!

#NewtsAppleValley

The wrong emPHASis on the wrong sylLABle

Move your giant head - So I married an axe murderer

Queen - Crazy Little Thing Called Love (Official Video)

Frankie Goes To Hollywood - Relax (Official Video)

Nobody EVER emails us, but just in case this is the [email protected]

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Somehow, we've made 140 of these--very hard to believe.  The over/under number from Vegas was 3.5, so we have technically overachieved.  With that said, this episode covers a lot of ground and while potentially entertaining, won't make you a better person.

• Brown Sugar--just how?
• Newt's-- you go there and eat good food
• Mom updates
• From genius to idiot to back to genius
• Tough week in the news
• Rob Reiner
• Jake Paul distraction
• Awards
• The retirement party gang didn't come through
• Susan Anton--for no good reason
• Top 40 debate
• Glandman
• Greg and Mark M--future guests
• Songs of the Week
  • Fat Old Son--Pink Floyd
  • Sad Burlesque--The Scarlet Goodbye
• Soul Asylum
• Rock 'em Sock 'em Robots
• It's fluid
• Chantz callout
• Friendly Newt's reminder

#NewtsAppleValleyMN

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Witch Doctor - Ooh Eeh Ooh Ah Aah Ting Tang Walla Walla Bing

Spinal Tap -- "shit sandwich"

Kids In The Hall - Daddy Drank

David Gilmour - Fat Old Sun Live in Gdansk - YouTube

Sad Burlesque