Send us a text

Nice little episode.  A few laughs, very little negativity and a tasteful amount of nudity.

• Beads
• Two dogs
• Newt's--Sports bar without all the bro's
• 30 gallons
• Chill out
• RIP Pat's Dad
• Loyal listener roll call
• Gilligan's Island
• Werner Klemperer
• Aunt Jemima 
• Back-to-Back Songs
  • We Will Rock You/We are the Champions--Queen
  • This Beat Goes On/Switchin' to Glide--The Kings
  • Feeling That Way/Anytime--Journey
    • Neal Schoen fantasy sequence
  • Tainted Love/Where Did Our Love Go--Soft Cell
  • The Load Out / Stay--Jackson Browne
  • Brain Damage / Eclipse--Pink Floyd
  • Need You Tonight / Mediate--INXS
  • Threshold / Jet Airliner--Steve Miller Band
  • Heartbreaker / Livin' Lovin' Maid--Led Zeppelin

#NewtsAppleValleyMN

#PhoneAFriend

[email protected]

The Kings - This Beat Goes On/Switchin' to Glide

Jackson Browne The Load Out and Stay Live BBC 1978

Send us a text

A slight departure to start this one.  Things are getting a bit tense for us, and we address how we deal with it.  As an important piece of context, this was recorded the night before the shooting of Alex Pretti in Minneapolis.  The rant is not related to that incident.  

The episode gets a lot happier as we turn to a very incomplete list of American guitarists that we like.

• Newt's--Still Crazy After all These Years!
• NOVA
• Memory Lane
• Jim goes off on the current way we're treating each other
• Can't we all just get along??
• Appreciate (not attack) our differences
• Songs of the Week:
  • For What It's Worth -- Buffalo Springfield
  • Life Without You--Stevie Ray Vaughan
• A VERY INCOMPLETE list of American guitarists we like:
  • Terry Kath, Jerry Garcia, SRV, Jimi Hendrix, BB King, Chuck Berry, Duane Allman, Prince, Neil Schoen, Spider Giraldo, Randy Rhodes, Slash
• Aaand we're back to being happy.  Thanks for your understanding!

#NewtsAppleValleyYourNumberOneSpotForIceColdBeerHotJuicyBurgersAnd OutstandingServiceDidWeMentionItsInAppleValleyMinnesotaNotCalifornia

[email protected]

Buffalo Springfield - For What It's Worth 1967

Stevie Ray Vaughan - Life Without You | Live at Capitol Theatre (1985)  If you just want to hear some epic advice on treating people go to the 6:00 mark

Send us a text

Just for fun, Mark invites his college roommate Tommy to join.  That's a bold move, but it wasn't as incriminating as Jim hoped.  Also, Bob Weir of the Grateful Dead died this week (which explains the amount of talk surrounding him).

• The origin story--bodily fluids have entered the chat
• Just outside San Antonio
• Mark's cardigan
• First Grateful Dead show
• Bootlegs
• Thank you for your service
• Enid, OK and the patch controversy
• More Dick's Picks
• The Doors
• Dead & Company
• Bob Weir remembered
• The 1980 MGB
• The stolen Harley and the Pee Wee Herman bike lock
• Boxing & the cracked rib
• Songs of the Week
  • When I Paint My Masterpiece--Grateful Dead
  • Sugar Magnolia--Grateful Dead
  • Althea--Bob Weir and John Mayer
• Adios Amigos

#NewtsAppleValley
#JustOutsideOfSanAntonio
#ThatsALotOfJohnMayerLinks
#RIPBob

[email protected]

Grateful Dead - When I Paint My Masterpiece - 7/26/1987 - Anaheim Stadium (Official)

The Grateful Dead - Sugar Magnolia - Live '74

The Late Late Show Bob Weir and John Mayer Perform Althea

John Mayer Eulogy for Bob Weir 💀⚡️🌹🙏🏾

John Mayer on Quitting Alchohol

Send us a text

Kind of a meandering conversation.  In Jim's opinion, it's some of our best work.  And he doesn't even like this podcast.

• Powered by Newt's (Apple Valley, MN)
• Potatoes / Ketchup
• Demographics
• Cosby (sorry)
• Timberlake
• Jessica Beil (what is this--TMZ?)
• We are in the future
• Two man dead pool
• Songs of the Week
  • The Time of the Preacher--Willie Nelson
  • Shining Star--Jerry Garcia Band
• Gingerbread Houses
• Jeff's balls
• Spice journey
• Sloppy Joes
• Used car blues
• Don't judge a book by its cover

#NewtsAppleValleyMN

[email protected]

Willie Nelson - Time of the Preacher (Live From Austin City Limits, 1976)

Shining Star (2 cam) - Jerry Garcia Band - 11-9-1991 Hampton, Va. set2-02 (LoloYodel)

Send us a text

This episode has something for everyone.  Philippines history, boxing, burps and one old guy explaining KPOP to another old guy.  Oh, and we're giving away 3 Ascertainers T-shirts!

•  The Philippines
• The Ascertainer's Newt's Nachos Challenge (not in any way affiliated with Newt's)
• Jim time traveled
• Mark could've been a contender
• Thai Curry--can't even hit a 3 pointer
• Burp talk
• RIP Dick Enrico
• Songs of the Weak:
  • Shine For You--Slightly Stoopid with G Love (really)
  • Sharks--Morphine
• Wild Kingdom
• Word Police
• Snoop Dogg
• KPOP
• Shirt Giveaway!

#NewtsAppleValley

Want a free Ascertainers t-shirt?  [email protected]

Shine For You (Official Music Video) - Slightly Stoopid with G. Love

Morphine - Sharks (live, 1994)

Send us a text

This one was recorded before Christmas, so any current events won't be covered--which helps the episode.  Also, this is the second episode of the night, so if you detect a slight slurring, there's no need to adjust your settings...

• Stevie Ray Vaughn and Christopher Cross Connection
•  Dog days of winter
• Latitude vs longitude lesson (who says this episode isn't cool)
• S.A.D. talk
• Hat tip to So I Married an Axe Murderer
• Who's ready for the Newt's Apple Valley--Ascertainers Bowl
• Iron Mark
• Is that a pickle?
• Spirit Mountain
• Don't ski high, kids
• Songs of the week
  • Crazy Little Thing Called Love--Queen
  • Relax--Frankie goes to Hollywood
• McDonald's and Arby's
• Exposing the Calzone
• Newt's cares--so go there and eat something
• Coors Light doesn't get you drunk
• Progressive Dinner
• Happy New Year!

#NewtsAppleValley

The wrong emPHASis on the wrong sylLABle

Move your giant head - So I married an axe murderer

Queen - Crazy Little Thing Called Love (Official Video)

Frankie Goes To Hollywood - Relax (Official Video)

Nobody EVER emails us, but just in case this is the [email protected]

Send us a text

Somehow, we've made 140 of these--very hard to believe.  The over/under number from Vegas was 3.5, so we have technically overachieved.  With that said, this episode covers a lot of ground and while potentially entertaining, won't make you a better person.

• Brown Sugar--just how?
• Newt's-- you go there and eat good food
• Mom updates
• From genius to idiot to back to genius
• Tough week in the news
• Rob Reiner
• Jake Paul distraction
• Awards
• The retirement party gang didn't come through
• Susan Anton--for no good reason
• Top 40 debate
• Glandman
• Greg and Mark M--future guests
• Songs of the Week
  • Fat Old Son--Pink Floyd
  • Sad Burlesque--The Scarlet Goodbye
• Soul Asylum
• Rock 'em Sock 'em Robots
• It's fluid
• Chantz callout
• Friendly Newt's reminder

#NewtsAppleValleyMN

The [email protected]

Witch Doctor - Ooh Eeh Ooh Ah Aah Ting Tang Walla Walla Bing

Spinal Tap -- "shit sandwich"

Kids In The Hall - Daddy Drank

David Gilmour - Fat Old Sun Live in Gdansk - YouTube

Sad Burlesque

Send us a text

Big news on this one is that Mark's been granted clearance to once again enjoy his favorite beverage--Coors Light (potential sponsor?).  Fun little episode with a nice cause to consider linked at the end of this write up.

• Shoutout Feegeebandmn for the funky theme music
• Shoutout Jenson Creative for the spiffy T Shirts
• Shoutout to Newt's Apple Valley for being the best (and only) sponsor ever!!
• Mark gets carnivorous (well chicken anyway)
• It's all about editing these days 
• Bijan Robinson
• Blazing Saddles
• Just age naturally
• Songs of the Week
  • Marseilles -- Angel City
  • Sip the Wine--Rick Danko
• NYC trip recap
• Eat at Luigi's
• Are John Fogarty and Diamond Dave long lost brothers?
• Mistletoe
• Shoutout Ken, Renee and their awesome daughter, Katie
• A nice cause to consider   Fundraiser by Kyle Edmonston : Help Support Katelyn's Medical Bills

#NewtsAppleValley
#JensonCreative
#feegebandmn

[email protected]

Marseilles

Rick Danko - Sip The Wine - Live 1978

Barstool Pizza Review - Luigi's Pizza (Brooklyn, NY)

Send us a text

Well, just like that, it's Winter in Minnesota.  We are joined on this one by the lovely and talented (and tolerant), Kris--Jim's wife.

• Sea Monkeys
• Missionary
• Songs of the Week:
  • The Spirit of Christmas--Ray Charles
  • O Holy Night--Carrie Underwood
• Petri Dish
• Mile High Club
• Passing the Curling torch
• Christmas Memories
• Baby it's Cold Outside
• Dean Martin
• Bill Maher
• Conan
• Socks and Stockings
• Kris's Adult Christmas Card
• Hot Wheels
• Newt's--Burgers, Fries and a Milkshake too!

#Newt'sAppleValley
#Thankful

[email protected]

Official: How to Create, The Amazing Live Sea-Monkeys

Best Curling Clip EVER  Watching TV with Jason Bateman be like... 📢 #SmartLess

Christmas Vacation - That Spirit Of Christmas

Carrie Underwood - O Holy Night (2021 Carols in the Domain)

Send us a text

Recorded a matinee following Thanksgiving.  Mark is still on the wagon, and Jim is just getting started, so this one is a bit more coherent than most.  

• Ever pooped on a plane?
• Thanksgiving recap
• Shoutout to our Selena!
• Football halftime shows
• Post Malone, Jack White and Eminem
• Sides/leftovers
• Dutch oven variations
• That Gomer Pyle sure can sing
• Lawrence Welk
• Songs of the Week:
  • Lawyers, Guns and Money--Warren Zevon
  • Like a Rolling Stone--as performed by Spirit
  • RIP Jimmy Cliff
  • Mark on Ice
  • Jim can't clap
  • Newt's--The Best is Yet to Come!

[email protected]

#Newt'sAppleValleyMN
#JFrankWilson&TheCavaliers

J Frank Wilson Version--Last Kiss--
J Frank Wilson and the Cavaliers - Last Kiss

Pearl Jam version--
Pearl Jam-Last Kiss

Post Malone version--
Post Malone - Last Kiss (Acoustic – One Night in Rome, Italy 2022)

Mr Bert Parks--
Bert Parks Sings Wings Let 'Em In 1976 Miss America

Lawrence Welk, One Toke Over the Line--
The Lawrence Welk Show . One Toke Over The Line (Live Performance - 1971) - YouTube