Why Overwhelm Isn’t a Motivation Problem

ASSAP Framework: Security

Being told to “just calm down” when you’re already overwhelmed doesn’t help—it usually makes things worse. Especially if you have ADHD. Especially if you’re doing life solo.

In this episode, Christine breaks down why overwhelm is not a motivation issue or a character flaw. It’s a capacity problem—and treating it like anything else leads to shutdown, shame, and bad decisions.

This is the second episode in a four-part series on the ASSAP Framework, focusing on Security: the ability to stay functional enough to think when your nervous system is activated.

In this episode, you’ll hear:

• Why “trying harder” fails under overwhelm
  
  
• The difference between emotional awareness and emotional processing
  
  
• Why calming down is often impossible until understanding returns
  
  
• How ADHD overload shuts down working memory, attention, and decision-making
  
  
• What “security” actually means (and what it doesn’t)
  
  
• How to keep your thinking online without forcing calm
  
  
• Why shame is data—not a verdict
  
  
• A real-life tech meltdown story (and why it matters)
  
  
  

Key reframes:

• Overwhelm is not laziness
  
  
• Shutdown is a nervous system response, not avoidance
  
  
• You don’t need calm—you need stability
  
  
• Progress looks like fewer destructive decisions, not emotional peace
  
  
• Security is about staying present, not fixing everything
  
  
  

Where this fits in ASSAP:

• Access = clarifying what the real problem is
  
  
  
• Security = staying functional enough to think under stress
  
  
  
• If you spiral quickly, starting with Security is valid
  
  
  
• Structure comes after Access and Security—not before
  
  

Christine also previews a short, low-pressure audio resource designed specifically for moments when your thinking starts to disappear—something to bridge Access and Security without asking you to fix anything.

About the host:

Christine Dunning is a Master Certified Life Coach and the owner of Two Cats Coaching. She works with adults who have ADHD—especially those who are single and carrying life without a built-in second brain.

This podcast shares the thinking behind her coaching work, with practical reframes you can use in real life.

Explore more:

• Listen to the full ASSAP series
  
  
• Find free resources and coaching at Two Cats Coaching
  
  
• Follow along on Facebook, Instagram, and Threads: @twocatscoaching

Reminder:

You don’t need to calm down before you’re allowed to think.

The goal isn’t calm—it’s support.