The Average Father

Survival is not the only thing Scott Behson knows about.  Scott is the author of, The Working Dad’s Survival Guide, Professor of management at Fairleigh Dickinson University, and is an advocate for Working Fathers.  In today’s episode we explore Scott’s work on the professional environment men face and the solutions he has.

This easily segmented resource helps men digest the essential “take away” in each chapter and apply it in real life.  In today’s episode Scott shares some of the stories from the book and how to thrive, not just survive.

ALSO:

See Scott’s BLOG:  fathersworkandfamily.com

Scott’s Book:  The Working Dad’s Survival Guide:  How to Succeed at Work and at Home

Book Website:  workingdadssurvivalguide.com

Fear of Failure can be crippling.  But don’t think this only applies to kids.  Parents increasingly seem to have a fear of their own kids failing.  In her book, The Gift of Failure:  How the best parents learn to let go so their children can succeed, Jessica Lahey tackles this issue head on and in great detail.

“Providing a path toward solutions, Lahey lays out a blueprint with targeted advice for handling homework, report cards, social dynamics, and sports. Most importantly, she sets forth a plan to help parents learn to step back and embrace their children’s failures. Hard-hitting yet warm and wise, The Gift of Failure is essential reading for parents, educators, and psychologists nationwide who want to help children succeed.”  Amazon.com.

As we discuss in our interview, Jessica has spent years as a professional educator and gone through stacks of research to reach the conclusions in her book.  She lays out easy to read, digestible chapters of valuable and ready to apply tools, tactics and advice that can help fathers avoid serious problems.  In Layey’s experience the problems are rarely with the kids themselves.   It lies in the overprotective helicopter parenting styles that have become popular in recent years.  By being subject to a fear of failure for their kids, parents fall into the pitfall of taking away opportunities for their children to grow and develop their own sense of confidence through competence.  This disastrous combination leaves our children without the tools to be be able to conquer uncertainty, successfully take on risk and grow into confident and productive adults.

Jessica neatly breaks down these observations and provides a path to success for parents to have the confidence to let their kids fail, and grow from it.

Join us as we discuss how she discovered these ideas, and how you too can apply them to your child’s life.

EnviroDad:  Eric Novak is the Editor in Chief and principal contributor to EnviroDad.com.  He is also the President and founder of Modern Media Perspectives.  In this role, he provides media consulting services related to public and media relations, marketing and communications. Eric is a consultant, video producer, TV host, writer, blogger and custom publisher.

Join us today as we discuss how EnviroDad is helping us rethink Fatherhood, Parenthood and how we raise our kids.  With a unique perspective on sustainability, Eric helps us explore what it means to be an EnviroDad without the Birkenstock, or granola filled lifestyle.  As he puts it, “I like granola, but it gets stuck in my teeth.”

Do you enjoy everyday consumer items?  Does this make you feel guilty, as it affects the environment?  EnviroDad helps us bridge the gap.  With a practical sense of consumerism, Eric Novak spends much of his energy educating people on how everyday items aren’t the bad guy.  By focussing on the 4th “R” of Reduce, Reuse, Recycle and Rethink; Eric challenges us look at how we make our way through life differently.  As we discuss, our children enjoy the shade of the trees we plant.  What kind of shade are you leaving your kids?

Ice Cream and Cookies, or Lawnmowers and Cars, Eric reviews them all!  Need examples of good fatherhood and environmental rethinking in action?  Visit EnviroDad.com to see how Eric’s Enviro Tips, Video clips or News and Events keep you up to date on how to be a responsible Father:  Setting the good example for your children and getting the best bang for buck.

For more information Eric Novak visit:  Envirodad.com

Dr. Vanessa Lapointe, Author of the book, “Discipline without Damage” joins us today to talk about how we can give our kids the best chance at success.

Founder of the Wishing Star: Lapointe Developmental Clinic, Dr. Lapointe is a Psychologist who has been working to support families and children for more than 15 Years.  Her work as an author, touring speaking, and practicing Psychologist has established her as an expert in providing families the support they need for the best emotional health and development.

Today Dr. Lapointe and I get to sit down and speak about the effect of a child’s emotional environment on their long term mental and emotional health.  We explore what factors come into play in promoting and preventing sensitivities to anxiety and depression.  Dr. Lapointe explains why you don’t have to be a perfect parent to raise an emotionally successful child, and how it all starts with your own behaviour as a Father.

This is a particularly personal episode for me.  I have shared my journey in previous episodes with regards to my OSI, anxiety and depression.  In our conversation I reflect on my own reactivity, and we discuss what a I can do in order to insulate my children from developing those same sensitivities.

This was a very enlightening episode and interview for me.  I learned a lot about myself, and hope you will take away a lot of valuable insight from this interview as well.

For more information on Dr. Vanessa Lapointe:

Wishing Star: Lapointe Developmental Clinic

Dr. Vanessa Lapointe

Book: Discipline without Damage: How to Get Your Kids to Behave Without Messing Them Up

Dr. Vanessa Lapointe’s Author Page

TAKE A BREAK!  You have heard it before when it comes to work, or your professional life:  You need to take time in your day to rest, recover and retool to be more effective.  The same is true in your home life as a father.

Taking time for ourselves allows us to clear our heads, increase our capacity for patience, and gives us the opportunity to be inspired.  A busy home can be just as stressful as a busy office, sometimes more so.  Just as it is important to step away from work throughout the day in order to more effective, it is important to take a reprieve from the home routine to be a better father.

Raising a family can be one of the most stressful times in our lives.  Our attention is pulled in many directions at the same time.  We have competing demands on our time and money.  It is a period of our lives where are relationships can stressed, and our sanity tested.  In the end, the rewards are worth it, but it doesn’t have to be so stressful.  If you are feeling overwhelmed, then the first thing you need to do is give yourself some room to think.  Take a couple of hours, or if you can a day.  Take this time to relax with a fun activity.  Follow this up with some quiet time to think and reflect on how you can be a better father.

When thinking, identify the top three stressors in your home life.  Then find at least 3 different ways that you can eliminate, mitigate or manage each stressor.  When doing this in our family I came up with the following:

Stressors:

Dirty House

Hungry (Hangry)

Not Exercising

Now I have highlighted the options that worked for me.  The fitness part works well with the #BBC2016, the food piece is just something I had gotten lazy about, but finding the time to clean was the challenge.  As a result we are creating a schedule for our kids to follow so that they can help with cleaning and learn responsibility too.

If I hadn’t taken a break to think about these things, then they would still be issues I was wrestling with.  Look at your own life and see where you can take a break.  Give yourself the time, and see how much better it can be.

If you need more help, then don’t hesitate to go to:  TheAverageFather.com/Coaching

Get 1 on 1 coaching on how to take some of these ideas and put them into action in your life.  Be the Best Father YOU can Be!

After surveying our #fellowfathers during our first season, and going to baby fairs throughout the Pacific Northwest you have told us what you need and want:  Coaching.

Today I am proud to announce that TheAverageFather.com is launching its Helping Hand Coaching series for Fatherhood.  This is a one on one coaching program designed to teach you about:

Your ROLE and a FATHER,

HOW the BALANCE Family and Work, and 

GIVE you SKILLS to be the better Father you want to be!

If you follow us on Twitter or Facebook then you will see the Video that talks about the course.  Designed for the Dad who has the best intentions but is being overwhelmed, this program is designed to help give you skills to manage that stress.  Fatherhood should be a time of Joy and happiness, but for many of us it can be a time of pain and anxiety.  Put the happiness back into your home life and sign up today!

Click HERE to claim your spot NOW.  With only 10 positions available before we close the doors on this, time is a factor.

The program will begin on 1 June 2016.  Following in June you will be able to have FOUR 1 hour sessions where we will be able to dive deep into the challenges you are dealing with.  Through the program you will come to understand how best to be a father to your children, become comfortable in that role and celebrate the growing and loving relationship in your family.

If being a parent is a team sport, then you need to know your position Dad!  Hone your Fatherhood skill set and actively work to be the best Dad to your kids.

BECOME THE BETTER FATHER YOU WANT TO BE!  Sign up today for your happy family’s future.

Join us today for a frank chat with Brian Salmon, or better known as Brian the Birth Guy!  Brian is a male doula, or perhaps better described as an executive assistant for giving birth.  Brian helps Mom and Dad understand what to expect, be prepared for the unexpected, and help you through the whole process of labour until your bundle of joy is in your arms!

A rockstar in his own right, Brian does play in a band, he has become a go to resource for Fathers looking to learn everything they need to know about the labour process.  From books to TV, podcasts and radio, Brian can be seen far and wide sharing what he has learned to help make the experience of bringing a baby into this world as stress free as possible.

Today Brian and I share stories from the delivery room floor.  We discuss his super hero origin story and what makes Brian so qualified and such a valuable resource for our #fellowfathers!  Brian shares with us a number of projects he is working on and how his most recent efforts can help you.  New Dads or Veteran Dads, this episode is not one to miss!

Join Brian on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram  as he shares his daily adventures in the world of birthing and babies.  You can also visit him at his website: thebirthguy.com.  Here you can see all his upcoming events and reach out to connect with Brian.

With many projects in the works be on the lookout for Brian’s new Book and TV appearances which will be coming this summer!

All Things Brian the Birth Guy:

www.thebirthguy.com

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Driving your car is a lot like how many of us on TeamParent deal with our marriages.  You don’t stop for help until something breaks.

When you take your car in for servicing, you will often get scheduled for your next oil change.  Brakes, Transmission fluid, even rotating tires fall into the category of ROUTINE MAINTENANCE.  These are things you do on a regular basis to keep your car running smoothly.  The same is true for your marriage.  Your relationships need maintenance just like your car.

Going to couples counseling is like taking your car to the garage.  If you wait until it is broken, it will cost you far more to fix than if you bring it in for regular tuning.  In fact, many marriages don’t survive the couples counseling repair attempts.

Caught early and practiced regularly, seeing a professional to discuss issues in a safe and structured environment is a recipe for success.

As a member of TeamParent it is important for you to realize that you are the example of healthy relationships for your children.  They will observe the loving, or lack of loving affection between you and your spouse and replicate that in their own relationships.  The more you work on your core relationship with your spouse, the greater the rewards for you children.  If you are able to create a stable, loving environment for your family, the benefits of that will radiate into the lives of your children.  They will be more confident, secure and independent as they grow based on the example and support you set.

Investing in your marriage will not only have immediate rewards in your home life, potentially your love life, but will have compounded positive effects on the lives of you children.

Check out this Resource for Couples Counselling

We are now past the half way point of our #BBC2016 challenge.  I checked in with you all via Twitter earlier this week with my updated dimensions.  It was very disappointing!  As a result I committed to a new plan of attack for success for the #BBC2016.

KEY TO SUCCESS:

The most humbling thing was to see that I had gained an inch on my waist.  I am now at 39 inches.  I started at 38 inches!  This told me that I need to focus and dial in on fat loss as my goal.  The best way I know how to do this is to improve my cardio, and therefore become more able to go harder + faster for longer.  As a military man the idea of a morning run is something i am very comfortable with.  I used to go for regular morning runs and swims when I was at my best.  In order to not reinvent the wheel, I have returned to what brought me success in the past:

HILL RUNNING.

Starting this week I have begun running a 7K route that takes me up Mill Hill in Victoria, BC with an elevation of over 400m.  In my first week I will run this 3 times to get used to the aches and pains, with a 5 day a week schedule starting on the 15th of May.

STRENGTH

While you certainly can’t flex cardio, as a man it is nice to be able to flex something.  Combine the need for vanity with the fact that I have some injuries I need to stay on top of in order to keep up my aggressive running schedule, and GYM time is a MUST.  I have begun a strength routine pairing Chest w/ Biceps, Back w/ Triceps, and Legs + Lower body.  In addition my warm up routine includes Hip strength exercises in order to deal with an injury, and core (abbs + lower back) work.  The first week I paired this with a 3 day cycle, and starting on 15 May I will be upping this to 5 days / week to match my running schedule.

This is the updated plan.  What do you think?  What is your plan?  How are you doing on your #BBC2016?  Leave a comment below to update us on how your doing, any challenges you are having and the success your experiencing.

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For many of us men, hair is not our forte.  Whether you are bald, thinning or even have a head full of hair; looking after lovely locks is not a skill many men possess.  In fact when thinking back to childhood and the sitcom families we watched, I now relate much more with Al Bundy than his more vain and flowing haired friend Jefferson D’Arcy.  FEAR NOT my follicly frustrated fathers DADDY DAUGHTER HAIR FACTORY is here to help you!

Over the years as a single dad, Philippe Morgese has had to deal with the challenge of caring for his daughter’s long blonde locks.  As his daughter has grown, Philippe has found this to be a time for bonding and an activity that strengthens their relationship.  He shares his story on how he took his many years of expertise and translated that into a National (USA) movement that enables MEN the opportunity to connect with their daughters.

Today Philippe is running seminars and classes across the United States, and is facilitating other fathers to do the same.  With a growing brand and recognition as an expert in hair care, Philippe has found himself in the midst of a movement to bring fathers from across the country together to connect with their daughters.  Fathers of all shapes and sizes have taken his classes.  While he can still count the months he’s actively been doing this on both hands, the momentum and enthusiasm behind this growing trend for fathers is unstoppable.  Connect with Philippe using the links below and see when the next chance is for you to learn how to care for your daughter’s hair.

If you have any questions about products, technique or how to get involved with DADDY-DAUGHTER-HAIR-FACTORY, then use the links below to connect.

www.daddydaughterhairfactory.com

www.daddydaughterhairfactory101.com

On Facebook:  Daddydaughterhairfactory

WWW.THEAVERAGEFATHER.COM