Adults Only

There’s a story or three to this week that I’d love to share with you. For example, how did I inadvertently get my first 18+ rating on YouTube? How did I discover the wealth of wisdom in a new friendship? And how did ‘coincidence’ suggest I begin working on ASMR Affirmations for Moodscope?

Let’s begin with a new mantra that I learned from deepening a friendship: “What will I do today that my Future-Self will thank me for?”

This arose from a series of serendipitous events. I’ve not been having a proper day off – clear of technology. By last Wednesday, my innermost being had had enough. I was invited to go for a walk near Worth Matravers – my home for many years. With road works outside the house, I figured my chances of getting any voice over work recorded were slim… so I went for a walk 3x longer than my goal, with ups and downs that covered the equivalent of 27 floors!

The walk was exhausting and exhilarating! Breathless for much of it, I made the decision to listen to author Lee Groombridge, who has written an excellent short book on resilience. “What will I do today that my Future-Self will thank me for?” comes from Lee.

My Future-Self thanked me for the walk and the deeper friendship… though my physical self wasn’t too happy with me for the following 48 hours!

A week earlier, I had recorded the waves by Boscombe Pier using slow motion video. This post had received positive responses from some viewers, and one mentioned the hunger on YouTube for ASMR. This is a form of quiet speaking and other sounds that can provoke a deeply pleasant response. Inspired, I rewrote the Moodscope statements as affirmations and whispered them over some new footage I had captured of clouds passing overhead – the Cloud Whisperer or Wellbeing Whisperer.

I didn’t like it. Penelope confirmed my worst fears when she said the whispering sounded creepy! This morning I’ve re-recorded it using quiet speaking rather than whispering. You can see the new video here…

https://youtu.be/Jhqa6jisxUU

Inspired once more to take time out, Penelope and I went to Sculpture by the Lakes near Dorchester. This is a mixture of indoor and outdoor sculpture set in acres of lakeside gardens. It features many works by Simon Gudgeon as well as work from 30 of the UK’s most celebrated sculptors. The works are magnificent.

And this is how I got my first 18+ rating on YouTube. Let me say that the art is occasionally of an adult nature. In fact, no children or dogs are allowed into the gardens. Like Adam and Eve, some of the works don’t even need clothing! YouTube thought my video unsuitable for young eyes, and thus I learn another lesson. However, my Future-Self thanks me for going there and for capturing the memories on film!

The spooky thing is that a friend bumped into us there and suggested I did… ASMR recordings! When the ‘Universe’ works so serendipitously, it’s good to listen…

Here's a video version of this Podcast: https://youtu.be/4gdVHA_gjeI

Primarily written for my Christian listeners, this is an inspirational and spiritual podcast on being bold about applying your talents to being successful.

British people are famous for not talking about their talents because, culturally, it is regarded as 'boasting'. God has no such reticence! You are meant to prosper, to success, to be fruitful and multiply. In fact, if you don't, you may well be in for a shock!

Explore with me how "Parts Integration" - a technique used by therapists and others who understand Neuro-Linguistic Programming - can help you move from internal conflict (and thus unhappiness) through to feeling more whole.

Working with my therapist, Kim Searle, I have experienced many breakthroughs. This podcast shares how my Inner Critic has been transformed into my new hero: TruthSayer - the LieSlayer!

Novelty

“Novelty,” is a wonderful word with an even more wonderful gift in store for us. It’s based on the Old French, “novelete,” meaning, “innovation,” and, “newness,” and, “new fashion.”

It also means something unusual or new… and it means good news for mental wellbeing. Why? Because our prefrontal cortex - in that wrinkly bit of the brain - craves novelty.

I’m a bit torn with this blog in that there are way more serious problems going on in the world at the moment, way more serious problems than… boredom. But boredom is an enemy of good mental health. Whilst it may seem like a First World Problem, it’s a worldwide Human problem. Our psychological wellbeing is a bit fussy. It demands stability on the one hand AND novelty on the other! Too much novelty and we quickly feel overwhelmed. Too much boredom and our motivation dissipates, and our energy disappears.

The issue for me is that I haven’t felt ‘excited’ for way over a year! I’ve been creative, I’ve been interested, some really nice things have happened… but there’s been no excitement. Excitement is energy for me. Is it the same for you?

Thinking about this, I wondered what stimulates ‘excitement’ for most of us. Novelty is high on what triggers excitement for me. Then, the other night, we had an experience that made everything a lot clearer. We’ve got a wildlife camera that captures some of the adventures our local hedgehogs get up to in the dark. This is interesting.

The other evening, I put the camera out late and disturbed one of the hedgehogs who was already eating. Popping the camera down, I withdrew enough for the hedgehog to relax and to continue with its activities. Watching the hedgehog ‘live’ was exciting! Watching the hedgehogs on camera is only interesting. You had to be there to enjoy the excitement!

I realise that excitement is ‘now’ – in the present. It’s a ‘live’ experience. It’s not past and it’s not often future. And excitement requires ‘being there’ – ideally in an engaged state participating in the events. I say it is not often future, but there is an exception – anticipation. Anticipation is an important aspect of excitement. The journey to the holiday can be exciting too. The quiet before the curtains open up on a show or concert can be electrifying and exciting.

You know all this. Why am I mentioning it?

I believe pursuing some excitement will do you and me the power of good over the coming weeks. I was curious about what you get excited about and was keen to stir us all up to actively pursuing what we find exciting as soon as possible.

So, spill the beans! What counts as ‘exciting’ in your life? When are you next expecting to enjoy that excitement? For me, it needs to be a novelty. New food. New locations. New friends. New customers. New projects. New clothes (though not the Emperor’s!)

Overcoming the Dragon of Boredom

This story is taken from the mythical book of Covidicus (pronounced ‘Covid-i-curse’).

In the years of the pandemic, a new foe spread its wings and took flight to overshadow our lands – the Dragon of Boredom.

You are the hero of our story if you have suffered from Boredom’s affliction over these long months. It’s time for you to rise and conquer!

To defeat the Dragon and to overcome boredom, you will benefit from the help of a friend of mine, the Wizard of Poz. Let’s go and have a chat with him…

“Ah,” says the Wizard of Poz, I was expecting you! And, I can see you have had the look of the Curse of Boredom far too often on your face this year! Let me encourage you!”

“I have in my possession, powerful armour that can help you defeat the dragon.”

“First, we must make sure you are not caught unawares – what’s sometimes described as being caught with your trousers down! You will need a belt! Here, I have The Belt of Motivation! I perceive that you may not fully know your own strength, so I have a powerful profile you can take to discover what energises you! This is the first defence against the Dragon of Boredom!”

“Secondly, you’ll benefit from wearing this breastplate, The Breastplate of Purpose! Discovering your Purpose in Life will protect your heart from the attacks of Boredom. I know you know that the word ‘Courage’ comes from the heart. In fact, as my old drinking buddy, Friedrich Nietzsche used to say, “He who has a ‘Why’ can bear almost any ‘How’.”

If you’re like me, you’re now thinking, “How can I discover my Life’s Purpose?” This is where one-to-one coaching is so worthwhile. I work with three transformational coaches to gain more clarity of focus. Alphabetically, Jules Whale, Kay Harrington, and Kim Searle. Even though I’ve known my Purpose since I was 18 years of age, I haven’t always kept track of how to live out that Purpose. That’s where coaching comes in.

Returning to the Wizard of Poz…

“Thirdly, let’s have a look at your feet! Ah, it’s as I thought it would be. You haven’t been moving enough. Your armour must include shoes ready to move, shoes fit for purpose because boredom loves it when you sit still in front of the computer for far too long. Put on The Shoes of Movement! You’ve got to move it! Get more exercise! Get outside! Get some rays of sunshine – boredom hates sunshine. Darkness hates the light.”

“Fourthly, that Dragon breathes fire… the Fire of Boredom. You will need a special shield, The Shield of Curiosity! Curiosity will overcome the Flames of Boredom every time. You must learn to discover something fascinating everywhere you go, and in everything you do.”

“Fifthly, you will need a helmet to protect your mind and your vision. Take this helmet, The Helmet of Focus. Keep finding the next physical action you can take to move you forward in each situation, and you will never lose your way.”

“Sixthly, finally, I give you a dangerous offensive weapon: The Sword of Affirmation! Beware! This sword is double-edged, it can cut you as easily as you can pierce the hide of The Dragon of Boredom. You must learn to wield this sword wisely. This means learning to be cautious about how you speak. If you say, ‘I am…’ and add something negative about yourself, your circumstances, and your future, the sword will pierce your own soul! But if you learn to say positive things about who you are, how your circumstances are changing for the better, and how you have a bright future, The Sword of Affirmation will pierce the dragon through and send it fleeing from you in terror!”

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Heroic Imperfect

I’d like to invent the Heroic Imperfect Tense! This is the active state where you and I become progressively more vivacious and satisfying versions of ourselves without needing to be perfect at any point along the journey. As a plaque I have puts it so well: “Flawesome!”

It would be a tense used that conveys we are perfectly OK with not being perfectly OK!

I watched the silly film, “Shazam!” last night… and loved it! Spoiler alert! It’s a 14-year-old boy who gets gifted with Superhero powers which manifest themselves in the form of an adult body. Yes, a 14-year-old’s mind, values, and experience suddenly given super-powers and looking like an adult. What would you do?

You don’t need to imagine the chaos that follows… watch the film – it’s a real ‘feel-good’ treat.

The key joy in this film for me was Billy/or/Shazam’s lack of perfection. The character is a Flawesome work-in-progress, and all the more interesting for this. He’s a troubled soul that finds a way to do something he’s proud of. In the process, he discovers himself and what he truly values.

I don’t want to be a superhero, but I do want to have a life I’m progressively more satisfied with. “Heroic,” is probably too much too but I’d like to do well! Caroline is brilliant at finding the right quote for the blog each day at Moodscope, so I thought I’d learn from her and share three gems that resonated with me.

Benjamin Disraeli said, “Nurture your mind with great thoughts. To believe in the heroic makes heroes.” (Lex said, “Start with watching ‘Shazam!’”)

Theodore Roosevelt said, “Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.”

Frankly, I think we are uncomfortable around those who are too perfect. They do not compare favourably with most people’s self-image. Let me close then with what I thought was an insightful quote from Edward Everett Hale:

“I cannot do everything, but still, I can do something. And because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do the something that I can do.”

May you have an inspiring day where you find the motivation and means and opportunity to do something imperfectly heroic!

[Image Credit: Andrew Martin from Pixabay]

The Man with Two Brains

“The Man with Two Brains,” is a comedy movie starring Steve Martin and, largely, the voice of Kathleen Turner, released in 1983. It’s silly but fun.

Last week, I finally got down to reading a book a friend had loaned me a long time ago. It’s called, “Turbo Success,” and was published in 1993. To be honest, I didn’t read it until last week because I’m tired of Self-Help ‘Success’ books. Why? Because, I may be a special case, but they don’t seem to work for me!

This one had something different and reminded us of having two brains (at least!) Ron Holland, the author, focuses very much on the Verbal Brain and the Visual Brain. His assertion is that our positive intentions – our dreams and ambitions – have to enlist the help of both brains. If we have positive affirmations, that takes care of the Verbal Brain. But if what we are seeing with the mind’s eye doesn’t match what we are saying, he says the mental pictures will take precedence.

This could be nonsense! However, it did highlight that I wasn’t investing time in imagining the better future I often talk about. In fact, my images of the future have been pretty grim! It’s been great to begin to change what I’d unwittingly been visualising.

Bluntly, when one is feeling low, having ‘positive’ people round can be… …irritating! I’d like to be upbeat today without being overwhelmingly or unrealistically positive. Let’s think in terms of ‘possibilities’ instead.

One of the possible changes I’d like in the future is to have a home of my own that I own – debt free. The affirmation just rolls off my tongue now, but there was no visualisation. That was easy to change. A couple of years ago, we stayed in my dream house – Pengwyn near Tintagel, in Cornwall. I took some photos! It’s been a simple matter to go back and revisit those images. The key, Ron says, is to see yourself in the visualisation. Just looking at the pictures is too passive – we need to be acting in our own visualisations. In response, I’ve been imagining opening the gate… walking down the steps… entering the front door… sitting at the kitchen table… you get the picture! If it never works, it’s been lovely to imagine and to remember.

Does it work? Time will tell, but it does make sense for all of us to think that we have two brains, and that when they work together, we get better results faster than when they are at odds with one another. If you’d like a happier future – what does that look like? I’ll close with a great quote I saw in a Garden Centre: “If you have a library and a garden, you have everything you need,” Marcus Tullius Cicero. Guess what else I’ve been visualising!

Signing out then, as, “The Man with Two Brains…” at least!

Our Financial Advisor loaned us a book by Ron G Holland, "Turbo Success - How to Reprogram the Human Biocomputer."

It's sat on my shelf for well over a year.

Wish I'd read it sooner!

The content of this inspirational podcast has largely been inspired by Ron's writing. Although the book was published in 1993, it has already delivered some breakthrough distinctions I really should have known years ago. I hope it works for you too.

Credits:

Image from Freepik.com Artist: sarayut_w32

Prophecy – Creating Your Future – an inspirational podcast with Lex McKee

One of my favourite wisdom sayings is the answer to the question, “When is the best time to plant a tree?” The answer is, “Twenty years ago.” The next question is, “OK, so when is the second-best time to plant a tree?” The answer, of course, is, “Today!”

Seeds growing through to fruition fascinate me. So do dreams. My dreams at night are surreal. Nevertheless, I can usually trace the ‘seed’ of each surreal element back to something I’d been thinking about during that day. My thoughts created the basic elements for my dream.

This has convinced me that what we think about, or what we say, and what we do become the essential elements of what we become. What we think|say|do today will be the tree of tomorrow – our future selves. In this sense, the think|say|do combination is a prophecy – more a forthtelling than a foretelling, or perhaps a mix of the two.

If I have a part to play in creating my dreams of the night, why wouldn’t it be true that I have a part to play (though not total control) of creating my dreams in Life?

The Life I am living today is the ‘fruit’ of the ‘seeds’ I planted, if not yesterday, perhaps even twenty years ago. I know, through therapy, that much of what I’m living today was planted fifty-five to sixty years ago! Therapeutic gardening of the mind requires weeding as well as planting! Pruning as well as nurturing!

And if it is true that I have a part to play in creating the Life of my dreams, what could I think today, what could I say today, and what could I do today to create a better tomorrow?

I’ve been videoing an insightful professional psychotherapist. In the first video, “Overcoming Depression,” he offers many practical ways to move forward. None of them are big steps. His core message is ‘movement’ – if you are stuck, move! Do something simple. His examples include baking a cake, mowing the lawn, doing the washing up, walking the dog… tiny, easy, physical movements. Each of these becomes a seed to grow into a more confident person who begins to feel greater degrees of freedom.

One of the great values in taking tiny steps is that, if there is a setback, it’s just a step back – a tiny step back to reset our expectations, learn, then try something else.

Holding on to the thought that what we think, say, and do today will influence the future, what would you choose to think, to say, and to do today to head in a direction you’d prefer?

What small steps will you take today?

Perhaps, in part, we can prophesy our own future…

Credits:

Image - Wisanu Nuu on Freepik.com

Music - James Grant "Ambient Voiceover 1" on Storyblocks.com

Spring Offers

Spring offers us in the UK many moments for positive reflection and renewed hope. Three weeks ago, I was looking at how dull the back ‘lawn’ looked. It hadn’t grown over Winter and had been beaten down by workers rebuilding the fence. If a lawn can look neglected and dejected, it did. Then something magical happened…

Overnight, daisies began appearing in encouraging numbers. I thought to myself, “Who told the daisies?” meaning, “Who told the daisies it is time to thrive again?” What was the signal?

“What a difference a day makes,” says the song. Since then, I’ve had more ‘moments’ with Snowdrops and Camellias, Daffodils and Celandines, Cherry Blossom, Grape Hyacinths, and now the Magnolias and Blackthorn blossom. They all ‘know’ something. The Rooks are rowdy and busy building. The Blackbirds and Sparrows are raiding the garden for nesting materials. It’s clear that Spring is offering them a strong message that it’s time to get busy. And, of course, the birds sing their thanks in increasing numbers and volume levels each dawn.

Especially exciting for us, our resident hedgehog is awake and active and on camera again!

I have a new thought for you… at least a thought new to me. I wondered if I was hearing Spring’s offer of something new too. Humans are often detached observers of the Seasons changing rather than active participants in each new chapter. Those who participate will do things like ‘Spring Cleaning’ and the Garden Centres begin to thrive with the sale of new seeds, plants, and fixtures to cheer up the gardens.

Thus, my question is to both you and to me: are we going to participate? If the answer is, “Yes!” I’d love to know what are your Springtime activities that bring you hope and energy.

And for those readers who are at the start of their Autumn Season, what changes are you enjoying?

Thank You!

If you'd like to say, "Thank You!" and fund the increased production of resources like this, you can support my work here: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/lexmckee