The Becoming Podcast

Welcome all!

I'm really excited to introduce you to Enfys J. Book on the Becoming podcast today. I came across Enfys' new book Queer Rites: A Magickal Grimoire to Honor Your Milestones with Pride in a random search for other folks who were just as nerdy about rites of passage as I am. I really loved getting to know them and the conversation we had was just so rich.

In this episode, Enfys and I touch on:

> The lack of rites of passage for queer folk, and how deeply gendered so many of our "traditional" rites of passage are

> How rites of passage are like "anchors to the self." I love the way Enfys described this

> The name change ritual that inspired Enfys to write Queer Rites

> The pros and cons of labeling our identities, and how we can get more comfortable with the ways in which our identities evolve and change as we do

> What makes a ritual "work" and be effective

> How queer rites of passage are an act of resistance

Hello beautiful ones, and welcome back to The Becoming Podcast.

Today on the show I am thrilled to introduce you to Ruth Allen. I have been following (and loving) Ruth's work for a number of years, and I've absolutely loved her two books, Grounded and Weathering. Her work and her writing has deeply shaped the way I think about the natural world and the way I move my body through it.

Let me formally introduce Ruth:

Ruth is a writer, embodied psychotherapist and facilitator working primarily outdoors in landscape, and online. Combining her background in geology, with innovative body-based and creative techniques drawing on a multitude of teachings and influences, she offers therapy, mentoring, workshops, classes and adventure retreats - all practical, slow magic - designed to help others connect with their bodies and the rest of nature through depth-full enquiry and practices that deepen our capacity to listen, for the greater whole-health of planet and people.

Some of the things Ruth and I talk about on the show are:

> The resourcing we can access through witnessing the natural cycles and seasons of the natural world – and also how that is being impacted by climate change.

> How to be in relationship with the earth as both a benevolent and even maternal entity – as well as one with the potential for destruction. We talk about the parallels between the concepts of the "ever-giving mother" and the "ever-giving planet," and how both ideologies seem to make those who nurture us vulnerable to exploitation.

> What we can learn from rocks as allies in times of change in our lives and in the collective. Ruth talks about the concept of weathering and erosion as being inevitable parts of the process of growth and rising, both for ourselves and our rock kin.

> The challenge of extending our ideas about animacy to the seemingly inanimate: rocks. Ruth beautifully hypothesizes that if we can see rock as kin and choose to be in a caring relationship with them, then we can see anyone as kin and care for them just the same.

> How Ruth engages in reciprocity with the natural world.

And truly, truly so much more! If you're curious about how you might be in deeper connection with the living world and perhaps how that connection might support you through times of weathering in your life, this episode is for you.

Hello beautiful ones!

The Becoming Podcast is returning after a somewhat unplanned hiatus, brought to you by Getting Pneumonia A Week After Launching My Book!

But here we are again, and I couldn't be more delighted to be welcoming Carmen Spagnola as my first guest of 2025. Carmen has been a friend, colleague and teacher of mine for many years now, and she has just released her latest book, Spells for the Apocalypse: Practical Magic for Turbulent Times, and, given the events of the past few weeks in our world, the timing of this important work couldn't be more auspicious.

Before I dive in, let me tell you a little bit about Carmen:

Carmen teaches about animism, folk magic, witchcraft, ritual and ancestral knowledge related to land and seasons. She cross-pollinates somatics, attachment, collapse awareness, intersectional feminism, and kinship with the More Than Human in her work as a trauma resolution practitioner. Carmen is the author of The Spirited Kitchen: Recipes and Rituals for the Wheel of the Year, which teaches folklore and spellcraft for the solstices, equinoxes, and half-way points between, based on her training in culinary arts at Le Cordon Bleu Paris. Carmen's professional study includes extensive training in hypnotherapy, interpersonal neurobiology, somatic psychology, mood and personality disorder support, and client-centred assistance for neurodivergent adults, youth, and their caregivers. She is constantly researching current promising practices to provide psychoemotional care and nervous system reconditioning support for people with chronic or episodic disability, with special attention to autoimmunity, dysautonomia, and long COVID. She holds provider certifications for Dynamic Attachment Re-Patterning, The Safe and Sound Protocol, Tension and Trauma Releasing Exercise, The Resilience Toolkit, and Clinical Hypnotherapy. Her spiritual healing repertoire includes numerous certificates spanning a twenty-five year exploration of trance work, regression therapy, energy work, shamanistic practices, systemic constellations, divination, herbalism, kitchen witchery, cultural conservation and ancestral veneration practices, and wilderness quest.

Here's some of what we talk about in this episode:

What is collapse – both personal and collective. Carmen beautifully names the thing that we all know, now, in our bones, to be true.

The power of ritual to soothe, mobilize and transform us when there's nothing else you can *do* in the face of predicament and chaos

How Carmen's new book, Spells for the Apocalypse, supports us to feel more skillful, resourced and resilient in times of personal and collective collapse

The "gift and the task" of Carmen's personal Quest experience – aka, the promise it would kill her to break

How Carmen is coping with grief and rage these days. This is the question Carmen asks everyone on her podcast, the Numinous Podcast, and I was really keen to turn her own question back to her. As she always does, even in the deeply challenging times she's experiencing right now, Carmen models how we might work with grief and rage in meaningful and supportive ways.

Carmen and I talk about so, so much more, including our shared experiences of going on Quest, the rituals I did during my own personal time of collapse, what happens when an animist moves to a different ecosystem, and more.

I hope you love listening to this episode with Carmen as much as I loved recording it with her!

Hello beautiful ones!

I've somehow taken a bit of an unexpected hiatus from the podcast lately, but I'm really, really delighted to share a new episode with you today. It's a super fun and beautiful conversation between three friends – myself, Mara Glatzel and Becca Piastrelli. In this episode, we're turning the tables and Mara and Becca are interviewing ME about the launch of my upcoming book, Mothershift: Reclaiming Motherhood as a Rite of Passage.

If you aren't familiar with Mara and Becca, let me tell you a little bit about them first!

Mara Glatzel is a coach, podcast host and author of the book Needy: How to advocate for your needs and claim your sovereignty and Becca Piastrelli is a community gatherer and women's circle facilitator, podcast host and author of the book Root and Ritual: Timeless ways to connect with land, lineage, community and the self. These two are friends with each other and they've been my friends for quite a number of years now, and they have been *tireless* champions for Mothershift and my work. Becca is also an alumni of my MotherSHIFT program. They both played a key role in my ability to get a book deal for Mothershift, and for that I will be endlessly grateful.

In this episode, Mara and Becca and I talk about:

> Why I wrote Mothershift and why this book is so important right now. You'll hear me talk about how I feel like I'm this book's doula, and how easy it's been to share the messages that it holds.

> Why "the mothers aren't all right," including my perspective on the US Surgeon General's advisory on the mental health of parents. We talk about the modern conditions that are particularly challenging for mothers as well as parts of the rite of passage into motherhood that have been difficult – but also filled with potential – since time immemorial.

> Our relationship with social media, about how it has become a surrogate for the witnessing we need as we step into motherhood, and whether or not we're actually ever seeing the *real* truth about anyone's experience of mothering.

> Is postpartum forever? We speculate how many years it takes to feel fully embodied in your experience of motherhood.

> The role of ritual in supporting and uplifting our matrescence experiences.

I do hope you enjoy listening to this episode as much as we loved recording it, and that it gives you a special sneak peek into the writing of Mothershift.

My friends! I'm really excited to share this interview with the amazing Asha Frost. We had such a beautiful conversation, and Asha has so much wisdom to share, and does so eloquently.

Here's some of what Asha and I talk about in this episode:

> How Asha's Lupus diagnosis was a threshold moment in her life that made it impossible to keep up with the demands of our modern, capitalist, patriarchal, white supremacist culture – and how she continues to practice slowing down.

> The relationship between worthiness and productivity, and the paradox that creativity and "success" often flourish after periods of meaningful rest. As Asha so beautifully phrases, "miracles are born from rest."

> Asha shares some of her experiences of her matrescence – her rite of passage into motherhood.

> The potential that transformative times in our lives offer to invite us to divest from and disrupt dominant culture.

> Elderhood and the elder medicine that lives in all of us, including our non-human kin. Asha and I share our love of herons as elders, and gush over the beauty of her new Animal Elder deck.

> Cultural appropriation in the rites of passage space – and how, while it's unacceptable, it comes from our collective desire for meaningful ritual and ceremony to mark these transformative times in our lives.

I'm thrilled to bring you this conversation with Sarah Wildeman on the Becoming Podcast this month. This was such a rich and far-reaching dialogue about all things community-building, which is such an important locus of support – and also struggle – as we traverse times of deep change in our lives.

Here's some of what Sarah and I talk about in this episode:

> The life-and-death threshold where Sarah learned what it was like to be doing life with people – and where she found the inspiration for a lot of her work now

> What it was like living in an intentional community with her family, and how she experienced "the village" firsthand

> How "the loss of the village" is not a universal experience, and is actually one that often walks hand-in-hand with the hyper-individualism that comes alongside many cultural privileges

> Practical and philosophical wisdom about how to build community, including how asking for help is actually an act of great generosity, how to make your needs known (and identify them in the first place), how to create capacity and room in your life to make community a priority, and how to powerfully invite folks into relationships and gatherings

> How hard it is to build community in a season of need in your life

> Attachment styles and introversion / extroversion and how they relate to re-villaging

> The idea of "tolerating" community and committing to relationship tending even when it's hard, or even when it's not what you'd prefer to be doing

I hope you enjoy this interview as much as I did, and that you're able to find some real wisdom and practical support that will help you expand and deepen your community connections. Enjoy!

Hello, friend! I'm really excited to share my conversation with Danielle Cohen with you. If you're a mother, an entrepreneur, a multi-passionate human, or have ever been on either side of a camera, this episode is a must-listen.

First, let me tell you a little bit about Danielle.

Danielle Cohen is a visibility coach & professional photographer with a unique talent for helping others step into and offer their greatest work. Spanning two decades, her career includes work as a doula, healer, teacher, business consultant, publisher, art director, mentor, and photographer. Known for her keen insights, potent intuition, truth-telling, and her powerful approach to visibility & visuals, Danielle has photographed famous faces and the emerging stars who are forces for good in our world. Her photographs have been featured in magazines, on book covers, as well as on prominent websites, marketing campaigns, and online courses.

Here's some of what Danielle and I talk about in this episode:

> Being a multi-passionate human and entrepreneur. Honestly, if you've got a bio that reads a bit like Danielle's or if you're a coach / doula / author / wilderness quest guide like me, this conversation is going to make you feel so much less alone, and so well-supported.

> How photography helped Danielle heal some of the cultural messaging she received as a young mother

> How photography can play an important role in a rite of passage, especially because traversing a rite of passage well usually includes being witnessed in the transformation you're navigating.

> How to ritualize photo shoots to allow them to offer the fullest visibility medicine they have the potential to offer

> Authenticity and performance in the context of photography and being visible – and how they're not necessarily mutually exclusive

> The somatics of visibility and what happened to my body in my latest photoshoot

> And then, honestly? Danielle offers an amazing mini-mastermind for any entrepreneur who's visible in the world, especially through photographs.

This is SUCH a rich and wide-ranging conversation: there literally is something in this episode for everyone. I hope you enjoy getting to know Danielle and hearing her wisdom as much as I did!

Hello, friend! I'm delighted to share this month's Becoming Podcast episode with you. In it, I interview artist and fellow wilderness quester Glenda Goodrich.

Glenda is an artist, art doula, SoulCollage® facilitator, writer, and convener of ceremony. She brings together earth-based rituals, community gatherings, and creative expression in a search for new ways to show love for the Earth.

Here's some of what Glenda and I talk about in this episode:

> How creativity can support us during rites of passage and times of transition in our lives

> How Glenda embraced her own creativity in midlife after a powerful wilderness Quest experience, and how stepping into creativity can be a rite of passage unto itself

> The call that the midlife transition offers us to live more authentically

> Glenda and I each share some powerful wilderness Quest stories, as well as some of the challenges entangled in embarking on the ritual of Quest

> What it is to become your own spiritual authority, and how that can be a journey that is both grief-filled and beautiful

> What it means to create authentic, deeply meaningful ritual

I'm really excited to share with you my interview with Megan Sheldon.

Megan and I connected through the magic of Instagram a few years ago, and we've recently enjoyed a couple of conversations sharing lots of professional and personal commonalities. Megan holds a tremendous amount of wisdom around grief work, ritual and ceremony, and I'm delighted to have her on the show.

Here's some of what Megan and I talk about in this episode:

> How engaging with ritual called Megan early on in her life, as well as the origin story of the Be Ceremonial app.

> Ritual and spirituality: can you have one without the other?

> Many beautiful stories of rituals and ceremonies Megan has facilitated, including funerals, miscarriage and abortion rituals, rituals during illness, and many inspiring and touching others.

> The permission we give ourselves – or don't – to grieve and ritualize seemingly invisible moments and turning points in our lives.

> Thinking outside the box when it comes to ritual (and breaking a few rules along the way!).

> The tender awkwardness of creating ritual for yourself, your family and your community, even when you're new to the practice yourself

I'm delighted to share with you that The Becoming Podcast is back for its 6th season (wow!) and that I've got a full and rich lineup of guests to share with you this year!

The first is my dear friend Annie Bray.

There were a lot of different titles I could have given this podcast and "Deep Conversation Between Two Brilliant Midlife Friends About The Complexity of Life" was right up there.

After we finished this interview, Annie and I chuckled that listening in would be a lot like being welcomed as an eavesdropper in the kind of conversation we might be having anyway, over a cup of tea by a roaring fire, if only we lived in the same city.

Our conversation – and our whole friendship – just feels so human. And so if that sounds like a dose of good medicine for you, I invite you to tune in.

Here's some of what Annie and I talk about in this episode:

> The paradox that traversing times of radical transformation in your life is deeply dysregulating, but that being able to regulate your nervous system is necessary to navigating these times with more ease.

> How having a "regulated" nervous system has also been weaponized – particularly against women – and can be conflated with being well behaved or put together.

> How our modern perspective of the nervous system is reflective of our culture's individualism, and how we've forgotten the importance of co-regulation with other humans, the more-than-human and the numinous.

> How to show up anyway even when you aren't "regulated" or don't have capacity. Annie and I share a tender moment about how I recently asked for her support, and what it means to hold each other through impossible times that, in the world we're living in, don't look to be getting any easier.