15/02/2026 - Matthew Destry

Big idea

The best people in the Kingdom are those who know when to step forward and when to step aside, without losing their joy, their identity, or their faithfulness.

Jesus has not come to orbit around us. He has come to be the centre. Not to make us famous, but faithful. Not to draw attention to our name, but to His.

The mark of maturity is not how many people are following you. It’s whether you are still pointing to Jesus when fewer people are.

Text: John 3:22–30

After this Jesus and his disciples went into the Judean countryside, and he remained there with them and was baptising. 23 John also was baptising at Aenon near Salim, because water was plentiful there, and people were coming and being baptised 24 (for John had not yet been put in prison).

25 Now a discussion arose between some of John’s disciples and a Jew over purification. 26 And they came to John and said to him, “Rabbi, he who was with you across the Jordan, to whom you bore witness—look, he is baptising, and all are going to him.” 27 John answered, “A person cannot receive even one thing unless it is given him from heaven. 28 You yourselves bear me witness, that I said, ‘I am not the Christ, but I have been sent before him.’

29 The one who has the bride is the bridegroom. The friend of the bridegroom, who stands and hears him, rejoices greatly at the bridegroom’s voice. Therefore this joy of mine is now complete. 30 He must increase, but I must decrease.”[a]

Context: water everywhere, meaning everywhere

a: when purification becomes popularity

b: heaven decides, not the crowd

‘Play the great parts without pride and the small parts without shame.’ CS Lewis

c: the friend of the groom

1. For leaders and builders
2. For ageing saints and quiet servants
3. For those navigating identity and season shifts

Questions for small groups

When attention shifts away from you, what happens inside you?

Where might you be striving to protect something that was only ever meant to be received from God?

What role, title, or expectation might God be asking you to loosen your grip on in this season?

If joy is found in Jesus ‘increasing’, not in us being needed, what would need to change for your joy to become complete?