"Apologies for the Audio Quality on this Episode. We are working on it"

Respecting your parents even if they're difficult, while learning to not still be afraid of their opinions after 50. What? We've all heard to respect our parents, respect your parents respect her parents. In every culture it's a high value to always respect one's parents. But what do you do if your parents hate you? What do you do if they are critical ALL the time? What if they are bossy and treat you like you are a child?

Are you dealing with difficult parents and would like to have a normal parent adult child relationship? Well, join the club of many people who feel controlled, abused, criticized or discounted by their parents as they age. Bad relationships with parents can be very common because of generational differences or personalities. Most parents are pretty stubborn because they're set in their ways.

Learn how to emotionally separate from your parents in this podcast, and learn how the roles are supposed to change. What I'm about to share with you, in a simple and powerful exercise, isn't always intuitive, and I'm sure it will be eye-opening for you.

When you were young you looked way up to your parents literally. If you get on your knees and look up at your sister who is 5'2" she will look huge. Your parents were giant and they had control over everything you ate, everything you wore, and in everything you did. Your parents had 100% responsibility of the relationship when you were tiny and as you grew, you actually should have become more responsible for this relationship. At some point we children who are 50 and 60 have all of the responsibility of the relationship because our parents are now elderly and stuck in their ways. I will show you how to feel and understand that, and operate from a place of love when we look at our controlling parents.

Then I give you verbiage of how to speak with respect and firmness with great boundaries. Such as "I need you to… This works for me… This doesn't work for me… What I've decided mom is…"

So as you understand your role has changed, and you have respect for boundaries, life becomes better and you can learn to understand and enjoy your mom and dad while they're still around.

I might note that if your parents have passed on, this process is still super useful, because the only limitations we have are the ways we think and the meanings we make. By shifting your thinking you can shift the way you think about your parents from the other side.

Love to have your comments about how this may have helped you

Clutter and anxiety go together, we all know that! Don't you hate feeling overwhelmed, confused, and helpless about your mind spinning and spinning in circles?

Do you feel like you're not only letting yourself down, but letting other people down as well? That pretty much sucks, right?

What would your life be like if you had brain focus?? But wait, what is that? It's being able to focus, concentrate on what's important, and delete mental confusion!

OK, so you want to declutter your mind. Come learn organized thinking techniques with me, with a simple and quick exercise.

Organized thoughts equals an organized life which leads you to the success You desire. The greatest success in life is PEACE of mind.

1. I use this exercise almost every day to organize my internal thoughts, so I can be, ON THE GO, efficiently.

I appreciate any comments you have and feedback. Subscribe if you want to be notified when i release a new episode. I look forward to working with you to Help you Finally Experience REAL Change In Your Life!

Who do you love?? How do you know?

How do you turn off those negative Thoughts in your head.

"Excuse me, am I bothering you? I was wondering if you could hear all the loud negative voices in my head."

Have you ever been just going about your day and you just seem to be in a bad mood with a negative attitude? You have a negative mindset and you're simply grocery shopping or going to the gym?

Automatic negative thoughts happen, and they are intrusive thoughts that show up. The thing is though the conscious mind is very different than the unconscious mind. So the first step is to stop your day and sit back and notice what negative voice you have and who's voice is it? The truth is it's not always your voice it's usually your parents, siblings, colleagues, spouses – someone else's voice, That through the years you have morphed into your own mind.

Follow us through an exercise on this podcast with four simple steps to completely turn off those negative voices, have more self-worth stop being negative and live more as you choose.

Well let me ask you this, are you too tall or too short to go to school? Or to black or to white to go to school? Of course not!

Going back to school at 50 years old or going back to school at 60 years plus is easy when you are motivated and organized. It helps your life Flourish in so very many ways. And causes your mind to be very alert.

I sure enjoy being a college professor and having a private practice and I'm grateful I took the journey.

My dad always encouraged education because on his father's dying deathbed he was told "Verl get an education."

My story is also great for young freshman. Do you realize that pacing yourself is appropriate.

Thanks for pushing the like button if what I have shared is useful, I appreciate any comments you have and feedback. I look forward to working with you to Flourish further in other areas of life: health and fitness, personal empowerment, relationships etc.!!

Aren't defensive people difficult? I'm not yelling, I'm not judgmental you awful person, I'm not rude. This podcast teaches you how to take responsibility for your actions but owning your actions or not owning them. Is it true did you say that did you mean that? Or is it not true you did not say or mean that. Defensiveness equals you're a little bit guilty so a person becomes defensive. So either say I don't own it, or I do on that I did or didn't do that. Take the power back by owning up which will help every conversation and relationship become better. If you feel it, please share.

Let me guess a few things about you… I will be a Fortune Teller… Ok, I bet you have a different routine and time of bed each night? You eat randomly and late? You have LOTS on your mind? Do projects on your bed besides sleep?

I was tucking my 6 year old G-son into bed a few months ago. After I sang and read a story he looked at me, turned over, pulled his knees to his chest and his blanket up to his neck, then said, "Bye Nana, I'm going to TELEPORT till MORNING." Oh my gosh. For him, he shuts his eyes and the next thing he knows it that it is morning! How does he do that? Well, for one thing, because he doesn't not have stress and a lot on his mind, to start! And I do believe he does all the following tips I am going to share with you.

So here are my Insomnia remedies. Or insomnia cures. It's simply things to help you sleep, that work!

After this you may say Duh. But all i have done is compiled this list of obvious things that when put together WORK. It is the best!

Love, oh gosh. Just to be honest I just went through a break up. And it was so painful, But, I think I have come up with some amazing answers of how to break through and open to love again! Yay.

I would rather break my leg than do that pain again, so I am talking to myself as well here. In this last few years i have gone through the hardest breakup ever, then my hero, my dad passed away and my sister who was my best friend passed from cancer. I lost my home, my cars and all i owned due to a bad relationship. I blocked my heart. It is a weird feeling.

I am excited to take my own advice. And it is working...

Definitions of love are many, but my definition is, WHEN YOU CARE HOW SOMEONE FEELS….. sexual in love, mother in love, owner of a dog in love.

The pain of love can occur when there is loss. The vulnerability of being hurt is Real! Opening up and then being rejected, abandoned, betrayed, taken advantage of- WAP! It's horrible!!!. It not only broken hearted, that actually fells like it breaks the heart muscle, it is like having your cells torn apart in every part of the body. Can't eat, sleep, your identity is broken.! Walls, shut down! Does love hurt? No, but breaking out of love does!!! Hell yes.

Oh God! I'm not doing that again! -afraid to love again, ya think? It's a really good question can i love after divorce? Or long term relationship

….So, let's see, if you don't want to love does that mean I won't care how someone feels again??

In order to love AGAIN, I think you need to start the process logically instead of emotionally like you did last time. Let me explain:

1. It is normal to be cautious after being hurt. KEEP you caution until you state WHAT you LEARNED! We replay things in our heads over and over, and the reason is that our unconscious is trying to never let that happen again! So sit down and be mindful of what you leaned! Did you learn to stop creating him or her to be something their not? (I did that in my last relationship big time, AHH awful-horrid) did you give up yourself, as you gave your love? Did you idealize them too much and they let you down? What is the learning? What aren't you going to do again? When you state that, you are on the right tracK!!
2. Can't love who you don't know. As you get to know them, your love grows!! Because you start feeling like you care how they feel.
3. Put yourself in their place. What is it like to be them? How do they see the world? What makes them tick? What makes them sad? Do you care if they are sad? You lived through your last crap. You deserve to go again. You deserve all good things. It is so better to love than be loved. Focus on loving, caring and understanding without expectations of anything coming back! Love outward... and the physics are, when you love OUT and give, it comes back bigger than it went out. Truth! But if it doesn't come back that's ok because you are loving OUT with no expectations.

I love you! I do. I think i can love you because if you are reaching out to this podcast, i can feel you. I can feel your desires and intent! And the more I know you, the more I can specifically love you. Tell me about yourself in the comments and share your love process stories.

Thanks for listening! If you enjoyed today's episode I would be grateful if you would leave me a quick review and rating on iTunes (click here) so I have feedback! Also, subscribe if you haven't already so you can be alerted when a new episode comes out. That would mean the world to me, thank you so much!

If you want the episode show notes and a full transcript go to www.whatstopsyou.com

I hope this helped. Thanks for joining me. Talk soon.

Talk soon Dar-lings!

Have you ever asked someone this question and they pause, and tip their head, and squint their eyes and then half answer the question? Because most people don't really know what love is or how it actually feels. It's all a little bit confusing isn't it now.

Webster says love is an intense feeling of deep affection, or a deep romantic sexual attachment to someone. But I love my dog and I'm not attracted that way, LOL. So what the heck is the definition? Well I'm going to sum it up and say my definition for love is an energetic vibration of care and concern for another person/thing. And an even better definition of love is when I Care how someone feels. Yes love is when I care how someone feels. Not just how I feel but how I care about how they feel.

Then I talk about the reason we're a little confused as we're not all one piece. We look like one human being but we are actually comprised of parts. We have a head, heart, body, spirit, and God. That is logical and makes sense of the relationship.

1 to 10 how much do you love someone with your head. The heart is an emotional Oregon it feels it expands and contracts in response and eggs and flips. How much do you love someone with your heart? This is the place where you care how someone feels. Then there's the body 1 to 10 how attracted are you to them physically and with touch sight smell etc. Then the spirit how closely connected are your spirits if you didn't have a body, and you were just floating around? And finally the gut. Just that gut feeling that you truly love someone and they are your person.

Always consider that the stages of love grow or dissipate. The first stage is romance, then awakening, then in control, then acceptance then pure love, a spiritual connection vibration mind body and spirit. I love to talk about love.

If you want the episode show notes and a full transcript go to www.whatstopsyou.com

I would Love to hear your comments on todays topic! How this information has helped you?

Talk soon Dar-lings!