The gospel of Mark was the first gospel to written. It was used by the authors of the other two synoptic gospels (Matthew and Luke) as a source.

Unlike these two later gospels, the first gospel doesn't begin at the beginning. It says nothing about Jesus's birth - who his parents were, or where he was born. Jesus just shows up, like everyone else in Judea, to get baptized by John the Baptist in the Jordan River.

Then he is tempted by Satan for 40 days and returns to Galilee. There he calls his first disciples, heals the sick and casts out devils. Only he, God, and the devils seem to know who he really is.

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In this episode, Judas hangs himself, Jesus is crucified, dead people walk around, and Jesus is resurrected - but some of his disciples doubted.

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In this episode, Jesus gets his head anointed with expensive oil by an unnamed woman. His disciples complain about it, saying the money could have been spent on the poor. But Jesus said they'd always have poor people, but wouldn't always have him.

Jesus has a last supper with his disciples, where he told them to eat his body and drink his blood, and said that one of them would betray him, whom he identified as Judas.

Judas betrays Jesus with a kiss, a crowd arrests him and takes him to Caiaphas, who accuses him of blasphemy.

And the chapter ends with Peter denying that he knew Jesus three times before the cock crowed - just as Jesus had predicted.

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In Chapter 24, Jesus tells us how the world will end. Badly, I'm afraid. And within the lifetime of his listeners.

Chapter 25 includes three parables. In the first one, ten virgins get ready for one bridegroom - some had oil and some didn't. The moral of the story is this: make sure you have your oil ready, because you never know when Jesus will come. And Jesus won't know you unless you have your oil ready.

The second is about a cruel master who expects his servants to make money for him. If you don't give him more than he gave you, he'll cast you into the outer darkness where you'll weep and gnash your teeth.

And the third is about sheep and goats. Everyone is one or the other to God. If you're a sheep you'll go to heaven; if you're a goat you'll go to hell. It's all about how you treat Jesus, who disguises himself as your fellow humans.

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Jesus has some strange parables, but one of the strangest is the one about a wedding garment. It involves a psycho king who sends a guest into the outer darkness to weep and gnash his teeth - because he lacks a wedding garment.

Jesus clarifies a few other things in this episode: We should pay our taxes, there is no marriage in heaven, the messiah isn't the son of David, and the Jewish leaders were blind, murderous fools who will go to hell.

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In this episode, the mother of two of Jesus's disciples, James and John, asks Jesus to give her sons the best seats in heaven. Jesus responds by saying the seating arrangements in heaven are beyond his control. His father will decide who sits where.

Then Jesus rides into Jerusalem on a donkey and a colt, which must have taken a bit of practice.

And the next morning, Jesus killed a fig tree for not having figs when he was hungry.

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Jesus tells us to cut off our hands and pluck out our eyes, if they cause us to sin, saying it'd be better to go to heaven without them than to go to hell with them.

Then he tells us about eunuchs. Some are born eunuchs, some are made eunuchs by others, and some make themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.

And finally, Jesus encourages us to abandon our families for his name's sake. Whoever does so will receive eternal life and 100 times as much stuff.

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In this episode, Peter becomes the first pope by saying Jesus is the Son of God. But then, Jesus calls him Satan for saying Jesus wouldn't be killed in Jerusalem. And Jesus assures his listeners that some of them would still be alive when he comes back after he dies.

Jesus calls everyone in his generation faithless and perverse - because his disciples couldn't remove the devil from a lunatic.

And the episode ends with Jesus paying his taxes from a coin that was found in a fish's mouth.

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This episode has some familiar Bible stories. John the Baptist is beheaded, Jesus feeds thousands of people (twice) with a few loaves and fishes, Jesus walks on water, and Peter tries to.

It also has a couple stories that are less well known. Herod Antipas says that Jesus is the risen John the Baptist - while the Baptist is still alive! And Jesus calls a Canaanite woman a dog, refusing (at first) to heal her devil-possessed son.

The text and notes for this episode can be found here: https://skepticsannotatedbible.com/fewer-words/241.html

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Jesus tells several parables in this episode, but his disciples don't understand them very well. So they ask him why he speaks in parables. He explains that he uses parables so that the people won't understand. That way they won't be converted and he won't heal them.

We also learn that his family (which includes four brothers and at least two sisters) are offended by him and don't accept his teachings.

The text and notes for this episode can be found here: https://skepticsannotatedbible.com/fewer-words/240.html

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