This week on Bad Dads Film Review, the dads dive into Luc Besson’s cult aquatic epic The Big Blue — a nearly three-hour blend of freediving rivalry, French mysticism, Jean Reno charisma, dolphin longing and some deeply questionable romantic choices.

What we covered

• Le Grand Bleu: the original title, the French phenomenon, and whether saying it properly makes the film any shorter.
• The director’s cut runtime and the general feeling that 168 minutes is a lot of ocean.
• The black-and-white childhood opening in Greece, where Jacques and Enzo’s friendship/rivalry begins.
• Jacques witnessing his father’s diving death, and how the sea becomes both trauma and home.
• Enzo’s adult introduction: Jean Reno in full swagger mode, rescuing a trapped diver and somehow turning it into a payday.
• Jacques as scientific anomaly: slowing his heart rate, bonding with dolphins, and generally behaving less like a man than an aquatic screensaver with cheekbones.
• Rosanna Arquette’s Johana, who falls hard for Jacques and makes some bold career decisions in pursuit of a man who would rather be underwater.
• The freediving championship sequences, including the dads trying to understand how niche sport fame works.
• Breath-holding records, Kate Winslet’s lungs, pure oxygen cheating, and the grim reality that most of us are good for about 35 seconds.
• Enzo and Jacques’ rivalry: affectionate, macho, dangerous, and meaningful mostly because Enzo needs it to be.
• The film’s underwater photography, which everyone agrees is often genuinely impressive.
• The score, which won a César and still gets absolutely battered here.
• Cris’s appreciation of the costumes, wetsuits, shirts, colour coordination and general seaside style.
• The dolphin break-out sequence, aka the brief Free Willy section of the film.
• Enzo’s fatal final dive and Jacques’ decision to return him to the depths.
• Jacques’ final choice, Johana’s pregnancy, and whether the ending is poetic transcendence or a man abandoning responsibility via dolphin.

Key moments / quotes

• Sidey clocks the film as having a “runtime of 73 hours”.
• Dan admits he chose it and remembered liking it, but that it was not as great as he remembered.
• Reegs describes the Amazon Prime aspect-ratio problem as so bad he had to find another version to watch it properly.
• Sidey asks whether Luc Besson edited it himself, because surely someone should have said: “This is not a fucking three-hour movie.”
• Reegs objects to the film romanticising Jacques, describing the ending as abandonment of a pregnant woman through grief and dolphins.
• Cris likes the style more than the film: the beachwear, shirts, boat shoes, wetsuits and Italian flag diving suit all get more enthusiasm than the story.
• Dan still has affection for the film’s imagery, Jean Reno and the childhood memory of its oceanic grandeur.

Verdict

The dads admire the look, the water photography and Jean Reno, but the film takes a pasting for length, pretension, thin characterisation, the writing of Johana, and Jacques being less romantic hero than emotionally unavailable dolphin botherer.

A very Bad Dads kind of strong recommend: if you have three hours spare and absolutely nothing else to do, you might come away with some nice water and a deep desire to watch football instead.

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