Last week we talked about decluttering physical and mental spaces. Well, this week, we’re addressing an important part of mental decluttering -- decluttering old hurts. We’re talking about forgiveness. 

We’ve all been wronged. Sometimes they’re little offenses. Other times they’re big, hurtful, life-jarring events that rock our world and our faith in humanity. You know the ones I’m talking about. 

How can we move in a positive direction with events like that percolating underneath the surface? 

Well, it starts with forgiveness. Without it, we’ll continue to replay negative events, focus on lost opportunities, and pine for could-have-beens… That’s no way to move forward with meaning and purpose.

 

So, what is forgiveness anyway? 

• Forgiveness is about letting go. 
• Forgiveness is for you -- not the perpetrator of the offense. After all, harboring bitterness and resentment hurts you way more than it could ever hurt the perpetrator. Forgiveness is for you. It’s how we move beyond the painful past to a productive, positive, happier present and future. 
• Forgiveness is a process of peeling back layers of hurt.
• Forgiveness is a decision to let awful moments stay in the past and consciously choose to focus attention elsewhere.
• Forgiveness is openness to be in the present and not react through a lens of anger or resentment.
• Forgiveness is not letting the past keep us from obtaining the future we desire.

 

Here are some things that forgiveness is NOT.

• It’s not stuffing down negative emotions or pretending the offense or event didn’t happen.
• It’s not condoning, minimizing, or excusing.
• It’s not permission to continue hurtful behaviors.
• It’s not reconciliation. That’s a completely separate decision.
• It’s not acting like life should continue as it was before the incident. You have greater awareness now, and that will change how you do life.

 

There are three parts of forgiveness:

1. Make the decision to forgive.
2. Let go of the negative emotions around the people and the event involved.
3. Stop activating the neural networks, meaning stop replaying and focusing on the event and the subsequent hurt.

 

Who do we need to forgive?

• Those who have hurt us
• Those who are no longer in our lives because of death, divorce, or disagreement
• Those who we love and with whom we want to maintain a deep connection
• Ourselves

 

An important thing to remember about the unconscious mind… 

Your unconscious mind is never going to judge what you’re thinking. Instead, it’s going to take what you’re focusing on, create a filter for it, and bring that into your experience. This is why you don’t want to focus on past hurts. You’ve had enough of that already, right? Not forgiving can just perpetuate the essence of that bad experience.

To get started on the path to forgiveness, make sure you check out the download for the Ho'oponopono-based “prayer” that will help you direct your unconscious mind to really let go of the past so that you can embrace a better today and a more positive tomorrow. 

Thanks for listening!

 

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Links from today’s episode:

• Episode 2 -- We learned about internal representations
• Episode 3 -- We learned about perception is projection
• Ho'oponopono-based prayer download
• Have you taken the Purely Positive Quiz?

 

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