By Brenda Terry
The podcast currently has 154 episodes available.
I’m going to cut right to the chase. If you’re attempting something great – building and growing a business, creating content, working through relationship drama, raising kids, tackling personal projects – you need support. Period.
And not getting the help you need can make the difference between living a life you love and one you despise.
Somewhere along the way, many of us adopted the notion that the self-made man is the gold standard, the ideal, that our success will be sweeter if we go it alone.
This is a big flawed premise. There is no such thing as a self-made man. Or woman (just to be clear.)
Did you make the device you’re reading this on? Did you cut the trees to get the wood to construct your house? Did you build your car or manufacture your stove? Did you make your shoes? I’m willing to bet no.
We get support in a million ways to live and function in the world. Why do we shoot ourselves in the foot by resisting support when it comes to reaching our goals?
This sometimes happens among my clients who have already invested in my services. Their impulse to “go it alone” overrides what makes sense: to take advantage of the resources at their disposal.
The go-it-alone tendency can manifest in multiple ways:
But here is what I have observed. The fastest way to get from here to there is to put yourself in a supportive environment. Everyone needs support from time to time. Everyone. And encouragement, external resources, and feedback can be the difference between reaching your goals or not. Or it could be the difference between reaching your goals gracefully or exhaustedly.
There are no extra points for going-it-alone or being depleted. None.
But there is a lot of extra that comes with a supportive environment. There are shared resources, shared energy, encouragement, the give-and-take of receiving and providing feedback.
I am here to support you. Not to make decisions for you or to run your business. That’s your thing. But if you could benefit from support – and can’t we all? – then, I am here for you. From the podcast to Revolution to NLP Sales School to Momentum Maker and Soulful Business with NLP Facebook group, I’ve got many ways for you to plug in and get the support you need. We all benefit when we share our challenges, expertise, and solutions. Join in! Get and give the support we all need. We can do this together!
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My take on abundance is that it’s always here, always available. It’s on tap 24/7, ready to pour into your existence. And it’s our scarcity thinking, old stories, and patterns that stop the natural flow of abundance. And all the years of coaching others and my personal work point to this:
No, you don’t have to earn abundance, and you don’t have to wait until you deserve it. It just is.
And I’m talking about abundance in all good things – an abundance of health, wealth, time, laughter, joy… Full, unbridled abundance.
So why might you not be feeling abundance in your life right now?
Old neural patterns, ideas of scarcity, and negative beliefs about money and prosperity divert our focus and keep the abundance-that-always-is out of our awareness much of the time. We get bogged down by our sensory experience and lose sight of all the prosperity and plenty that is around us.
Want to experience more abundance in your life? Yeah, me too! To do that, you must stop doing the following:
Guilt, shame, and resentment don’t happen in a vacuum. You have established neural networks that contain these emotions that are triggered by some external event or memory. Be mindful of the events and then follow the suggestions below.
Instead of doing all the things that stop the flow of abundance, do the following:
My 21-Day Money Mindset Rewrite has been creating big shifts for me and for others. Go get this free program! It will give you a big boost towards reclaiming your abundance.
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You’ve probably heard by now about my Radically Different NLP Money Mindset Rewrite program. It’s a 21-day program that drips encouragement to help you reset your money mindset.
I’ve been getting some great feedback so far. Here’s what I see the most: It’s difficult for people to stick with the program. It’s hard to create new habits!
Sometimes we get bored with a new habit. Or we forget why we wanted to install a new habit in the first place. Or we just get tired and want to do something familiar and comforting instead.
We have to decide that what we want is more important than staying in the same old thinking and behavioral patterns. You know, the behavioral patterns that are comfortable — the ones that got us where we are right now.
To support you in establishing new habits…
If you’re trying to break a bad habit, identify the triggers that lead to the habitual action. Becoming aware of the triggers is half the battle! When we’re aware of internal strategies and external cues, we can choose to interrupt the old patterns we want to break.
It’s essential to build in rewards for yourself along the way.
Before long, you will have created the habits that will support you in achieving what you want. You’ve got this!
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Our mindset can make a challenge feel like a slow mountain climb or make that same challenge feel like a fun learning opportunity.
This year, one of the themes for my clients inside Soulful Business Revolution has been ease. Everybody in there is focusing on finding more ease so that their goals unfold in a way that feels effortless. They’re discovering that it’s possible to do big things with grace and ease.
I’m tackling some big things myself, and my goals are getting me up early in the morning and keeping me up late at night — for now.
As I think of my clients creating the changes they want from the inside out, the image that comes to mind is a pressure cooker. Pressure is applied for a duration of time, and during that time, you can’t tell that anything is happening. You don’t get to see any progress until the pressure is released, and — voila — you have the beautiful, delicious finished product!
It’s much the same way with personal transformations. When we’re in the thick of it, we can’t see the progress. Sometimes all we can see is that it’s a challenging time. But when the pressure lifts, we see the result of work that was happening under the lid all along.
And as you’re on your journey, a results game-changer is living your vision in your mind as if it’s happening now. This gives clear instructions to your unconscious mind to follow.
What most of us do is look to the future and count the days and months and years until this thing we want shows up. The problem with that strategy is that talking and thinking about what you want as if it’s coming someday in the future only trains your unconscious mind that what you want is out of reach because, as you’re thinking about it, it is.
When you stubbornly focus on your desired outcome and feel, inside, as if you’re living it now, you give your brain a chance to gather the resources to bring it to fruition.
You can learn to stay in the essence of what you want, let it permeate your being, and hold on to it. This is the key to bringing about transformation with ease.
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When I recorded this episode, the 2022 Winter Olympics were underway in Beijing, China. After watching an interview with an Olympic skier, I was struck by the parallels between you and me.
An Olympian may train for decades for a 30-second race or downhill ski run. If that race was all that mattered, that could be pretty depressing. After all, there can only be one winner.
But if the ultimate goal is to get better and improve personally, then every race and workout can be a triumph and a stepping stone toward something incredible. When we focus on improvement and find purpose and joy in getting better, that puts the everyday “grind” in a new, sustainable light.
When the focus is on progress, that puts me in control of my outcomes.
If you’re building a business or on a self-improvement journey (which really, business growth IS personal growth), just like an Olympian, you’ve got to be in it for the long haul. There are no quick fixes and no shortcuts.
When I transitioned my face-to-face coaching business online, I threw money at various solutions, which didn’t work. Some things take time, and building momentum is one of those things. It’s built off the back of mindset and consistency.
To commit to the long game, know your purpose. NLP Tip: It should be more than just making money.
To stay excited and enthusiastic on the journey — connect deeply with your purpose.
The journey from here to there can be filled with away-from thinking, doubts, uncertainty, fear, and limiting beliefs. If it weren’t, you’d already be at your destination! The real challenge is to clean up all that debris. Over time, as you keep showing up and focus on improving, the energy in your body aligns with your desired outcome, and the positive results simply must show up in your experience.
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Last week one of my clients got an unpleasant text and said, “I don’t know why they keep doing that!”
My response was, “Let’s read that text again and pretend like it’s your unconscious mind talking to you.”
We uncovered some ideas that she had believed for a long time, but she had been looking at it from "It's them and not me." And when she embraced "This is me because my unconscious mind is me," then we were able to do some magnificent work.
Metaphors and symbols are the language of the unconscious mind. Carl Jung and Milton Erickson would say that your whole life experience is one big metaphor.
Let’s use money as an example because it’s tangible. If your life experience is a metaphor, what does your experience with money tell you about the patterns you’re running inside?
I use my souped-up version of NLP time techniques in my client work to uncover long-existing patterns and beliefs that no longer serve them. We glean what learnings we can take away from experiences, then release negative emotions and eliminate the limiting beliefs. And all of this is facilitated by communicating with their unconscious mind. Our work is to connect to the meaning behind the symbols embedded in the metaphor their unconscious mind is using to show us the problem.
I’ve been doing this work for a long time. Releasing negative emotions at an unconscious level is not a one-and-done event. So, before recording this episode, I decided to release negative emotions around money. I didn't really feel any, but I've done this several times since I grew up with boatloads of limiting beliefs around money.
To my surprise, my unconscious mind revealed an intriguing metaphor that you’ll hear all about in today’s episode. It blew my mind. The metaphor includes a petite man who has shut himself off from society, a hole in a wall, and a flower that is actually much more than just a flower. Here are some of the learnings reaffirmed by my unconscious mind:
Most of us have learned through our lived experience that you have to work hard for money, that money is elusive, that money is difficult to save, and that there’s never enough money. Some of us may have even believed that people with a lot of money are bad or dishonest.
This episode is about stepping into consciousness, recognizing your limiting money beliefs, and healing your relationship with money. Remember, just because your unconscious mind believes something doesn’t mean it’s true. I want to help you shift through your ideas about money, hold onto the ones that serve you, let go of the ones that don’t, and adopt new beliefs around money that will help you get to where you want to go.
This is a process, and I’m right in there with you!
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This past week, a theme popped up multiple times in my work. And it’s a theme that I used to run unconsciously as well. It goes something like this…
“I have to struggle to succeed.”
“People who suffer deserve to succeed.”
“Life is pain.”
“The more I can overcome pain and suffering, the more I prove my worthiness.”
When I was a single mom, I had several girlfriends who were in similar circumstances. We were all hardworking professional single moms who were bringing home (and cooking and serving) the bacon.
We were carting our kids around and supervising homework in between closing deals. We’d get together to sympathize with one another, pump each other up, and lick each others’ war wounds.
Heck, we were proud of those wounds. We were overcoming the hardships — we were doing it!
And at some point, it just became sad. If we were so awesome, why didn’t we have the partner we deserved? Why were our clients and customers such jerks sometimes? Why was life so exhausting?
If this sounds familiar, it’s time to change the channel with a reframe. Changing can be especially challenging when you live in an environment that glorifies suffering for a cause or for “the team.” This looks like: “Put in your time, and you’ll get the gold watch” (or the plaque, fancy vacation, or a handsome deposit in your 401K).
When the primary focus is on the struggle, the rewards may eventually come, but they’ll be over in an instant because the modus operandi, the day-to-day reality, is going to be on your focus — in this case, ”the struggle.”
If this resonates with you, it’s time to decide that you’ve suffered enough. It’s time to stop looking at the journey as something to endure. Instead, focus on the beauty, opportunities, growth, and all the things to celebrate on the journey. When you focus on those things, your unconscious mind — by need — will have to show them to you.
Don’t wait until you reach your destination to start enjoying the process, friend. The ride between there and here could be joyous. Ditch the suffering, pain, and struggle ideation, make peace with the fact that life is a process, and celebrate the journey.
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All my clients are doing something to improve the quality of other people’s lives. They’re good at what they do, and they have every reason to be proud of their work. So, why do so many of them feel reluctant and foot-draggy when it comes to selling?
It boils down to mindset. The reason you have a hard time confidently inviting prospects to become your client so that you can positively impact their lives is the same reason you have a hard time expressing what you want and need in your relationships.
Our personal lives are often riddled with passive-aggressiveness and hint-dropping while hoping others read our minds. It’s as if we’re wishing our way to helping people see that we’re good enough to help them — and all without saying a word. In NLP, we call this living at effect.
Translated into the business setting, we hope we’ll get noticed and hired without doing the work. And when clients do sign up with us, we often second-guess our service’s value.
The beautiful thing about sales is that you know how you’re doing by looking at your results. There’s no guessing here.
And how you’re doing in sales will be a reflection of how you’re doing in life and your personal development.
The skills you need to excel in business are the same ones that will help you excel in relationships, your personal habits, and in daily disciplines.
Sales, to me, is a big metaphor for life. It says, "I’m someone who can speak about the things I want. I can ask for what I want. And I can talk about the goodness that I have to share and explain, in a way that you can understand, how it's going to serve and benefit you."
This is why selling with NLP lights my fire. You can learn to step into other people’s models of the world and lead them to other models where they have more choice. You can learn to speak to individual prospects in a way that they can best hear and understand your offer. You can more effortlessly find and communicate win-win solutions that are compelling and full of integrity.
This is why I created the NLP Sales School. And all the material is directly applicable to life and relationships in general. You, your business, and your life are worth the investment.
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I’m in the middle of preparing to launch NLP Sales School. I’ll deliver the NLP material in a very digestible style and format that I’ve never seen before. I’m super proud of and excited about this legacy product that I’m creating.
We’re launching in less than a week, and, to be honest, the process of creating this course hasn’t been all sunshine and roses. It’s been a lot of work! This process has been a reminder that there’s a balance I need to strike between striving for excellence and giving myself a break.
Case in point… This morning I headed downstairs, as usual, to make coffee before heading to my office. But this morning, I felt a tug inside to pause and look out the window. That glance out the window turned into 30 minutes of sitting in gratitude as I sipped my coffee and gazed over the snowy landscape out the window of our new Kentucky home. The view and the moment were simply breathtaking. Taking it all in was nourishment to my soul.
Then Ron and Gunner came downstairs, and I felt compelled to share the view and those precious morning moments with them. So I did. And when we all had our fill, I felt revitalized, and I headed up to the office, ready to get my game-face on and get to work.
However, I stopped in my tracks when Ron announced he was going to check out an authentic Mexican market, a place nearby that we hadn’t yet explored.
My look said it all. “What? I’m the Mexican in this household. If anyone is going to the Mexican market, it should be me!”
But before I could speak the words, I felt another tug and knew what I needed to do. Sure, I would have loved to make a date of it and go to the Mexican market with Ron. But I had just enjoyed our connection, and now another purpose was calling. It was time to work on this course. I’ll enjoy the market sometime soon. But in that moment, I committed to excellence.
Today’s episode explores the NLP principle of going one step further. Do what’s in your comfort zone, and then go one step further. That’s the path to excellence.
The beautiful thing about going one step further is that it requires awareness and focus — two of the most powerful tools in your arsenal for creating the life experience you want.
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The podcast currently has 154 episodes available.