We have a little saying around the Instead Of offices, and it goes something like this: "An ounce of butt-hurt prevention is worth a pound of butt-hurt cure." We're always saying that, and you know why? Because it's true. When it comes to protecting your butt, we here at Instead Of HQ take a back seat. In a good way! Whether Josh is going straight for our bottoms with his hand, or someone is throwing ice cream at our bottoms, or we smash our bottoms on sharp objects, we always give our bottoms top priority. That's why we're consistently recognized for having the cleanest, least damaged butts in podcasting. You heard it here first.

Pairings: low eeexpecatations; ice cream, but cold; someone to mourn your grievous death