The Blue Pea Leader

Please be aware what follows is an AI Transcript, please excuse typos’ and any other slightly weird stuff but you’ll get the gist of the interview…..

Ruth: Hello and welcome to the blue pea leader podcast, and in this episode, I am joined by somebody that I have known for about five years and we have had some fantastic conversations around learning and development and leadership, and what we think is good practice and what we think is bad practice. And so I thought I’d invite us along to talk today we’re going to talk about performance management. Now, Anne is a qualified learning professional and she’s working in one of the top online travel companies in the world. And as mentioned she focuses on leadership development in particular performance management and is responsible for designing and delivering Global Learning initiatives that produce behavioural change, and business impact. I mean I have to say I’ve said we have known and for five years. I think this lady knows what she’s on about.

So, Anne, performance management.

Anne: Yes, it’s my hot topic at the moment so I’m really pleased you asked me to have a conversation with you about it. I have thoughts.

Ruth: Good. I want to hear them. I mean, I could start with. Why do you think performance management is important for leaders?

Anne: Well first of all I think performance management, the term itself can be quite limiting and almost come across negatively, I think for employees it certainly feels that way. It feels like you’re being managed controls. And in a way, I would say, what’s important to managers about this topic is really it’s where you get to performance develop your employees. And so we kind of talked about management and control but what we really mean is two sides to it. One is to really enable your employees to deliver their best work and to grow while they do that. And on the other hand, for a manager to be able to articulate really clearly what they’re seeing that their employees are doing well. And to explain with logic, the score that they will get if you are a company that works with scores, or even more so, the salary and the reward and the bonus. So it’s about transparency and fairness, as well as, enabling your employees to really succeed. Well, and that’s a massive topic, and most of what a manager does. I agree it is a it is a huge topic and it is most of what they do, and you say it is about setting that clarity of expectations, so that you both know what you’re in the game for.

Ruth: Exactly. Yeah, it’s a sense of psychological safety and an employee, if they know what’s expected of them and they know they’re on track. I mean, that means you can just relax and really focus on your job, and that’s so important so performance management performance development is really about creating the best employee experience that an employee can have with you as a manager.

So let’s go into talking about some of the problems or issues that that I’ve seen and you’ve seen when effectively pump performance management is either done badly, or not at all.

Anne: Yeah. Yes, we have seen a lot we have talked about this. So I think it starts the beginning of the cycle I mean let’s just be clear on what performance management is, it’s, it’s about saying in a certain timeframe. Let’s agree between manager and employee, what it is that you’re going to focus on for business results. So we know that where you’re prioritising when you’re focusing First of all, it’s realistic. We’re not asking you to do too much. We’re not asking you to do, too little for your skill set or your time. But also, it’s definitely focused on what the business needs, and the business priorities, and that’s the start of this process, so of course it’s really important for an employee to be really set up for success well through that conversation.

And I think that’s where we have both talked about really sometimes seeing managers are not clear on that. Not clear with objectives not clear with goals. And if you don’t set expectations clearly. When you get to the end of that time period, you’re going to find you can’t articulate why someone met them exceeded them so well, or didn’t meet them. And that’s when managers start to realise. Oh, okay. I realise I can’t really manage and assess your performance because I didn’t really set targets and goals with you that you and I both agreed.

Ruth: Yeah, I mean often turn around and say if you like difficult conversations. Then basically don’t bother setting expectations and agreeing outcomes with the other person. Most managers and leaders don’t like difficult conversations and, but it’s in that setting the expectations and the clear goals, that it tends to be a little bit of a back and forth of really clarifying and an understanding, and a certain point, I think people go, Oh, this feels like it’s taking too long. I tell you what, let’s do vague. We both sort of happy, and we can move along.

Anne: That’s so important to say, and you’re right so managers can feel like well you know what let’s stay vague, and we agree that you’re going to look at it. after this conversation you’ll look at it, you’ll send it to me. I’ll approve it and it may never have got very clear. And, you know, the other thing that I hear sometimes is well, if I get that clear, and that concise, what happens if the environment changes priorities change focus changes. We just changed the objectives and I think people feel like it’s almost like engraved in stone. It’s like no but this just helps you know where you’re going and for a manager to know what they can expect of you but you can change it.

You know we’re sitting in a time now where there’s change happening and, you know, unforeseen consequences and it’s really a time of change and dynamic for any company, and of course objectives are changing, they’re not there to catch an employee out. And I think that’s really important there about a manager and employee having a sense of security and clarity and from employee to know that what they’re working on really is what the business wants them to work on.

Ruth: Yes and I think you’ve touched on one of the reasons why managers and leaders don’t sometimes do performance management, because things that things can change, and therefore it’s like, oh well as you say, I’ve done this now I’ve got to redo it.

Anne: Yes, Yes. And you know, when we look at the end of the timeframe. It’s the time when the manager then starts having to. Let’s put it in really stark terms, Judge, an employee and their performance and actually judge not an employee in their personality or their character but their performance. And again, this is where in a way I see that things can go wrong, is they are not judging an employee and their personality, but they are judging, if you like, let’s say, assessing and evaluating so we’re back to easier terms and more helpful terms.

The performance the results they delivered the what, but also the how and when you get to how you get to behaviour and behaviour can become very subjective from one manager to another, did I see that behaviour I would expect to see. And so, again, this can in some way feel like you’re almost judging the person and their personality or their communication style, which you are not you we’re just looking at some key behaviours and and really the way I like to look at it when you know the what.

So if you’ve got your objectives clear, then they’re clear if you haven’t got your objectives clear, you’ve got a problem, as you said before, that if they’re clear you’re good to go with that. Once you get to the how. You’re really having to look and say, Okay, did this person, deliver their results having had, you know, positive impact on the people they worked with they haven’t burned, bridges, they haven’t, you know, left people who don’t want to work with them. They haven’t. They haven’t done anything that would make their impact their credibility the status of the collaboration that people have with them more limited. If that’s the case, you can pretty much say the How is good, you met expectations. We expect you to be a nice employee to work with and helpful you could challenge, you know you could disagree, but you have these working relationships still at the end of this time period and they are good.

Then of course, the more sophisticated area is and how great was your behaviour was it. Exceeding my expectations or meeting them, and that’s when we start getting sophisticated, but just being able to say, I can see that these behaviours are really expected within an employee in our company. That’s what’s important.

Ruth: And we talked about behaviours and I do think that it’s important just as you’re clarifying a goal and an outcome. You also want to give somebody examples of desired behaviours.

Anne: Yeah. And you know, depending on the company, there are some companies that have very clearly defined behaviours, as do we, but there are some companies who don’t, as we used to. So, and in both ways. We still found that it’s really understood between a manager and an employee, what we expect in terms of behaviours, in a company. I mean these are not rocket science to be you know there might be things you start to discuss around your communication style and how it’s landing and there’s a new ones, but we would expect that during that time period. And now we get to the other part of performance management, there’s coaching and there’s feedback. And the self reflection. Still, whether they’re really defined, or they’re expected or in the job description or expected from the values of the company. It’s not rocket science. As long as we can articulate it and we stay with behaviours we see, and not characteristics and personality.

Ruth: And that’s the thing it’s characteristics and personality. And one of the things that I found in conversations with leaders is for them to become self aware of, of their biases and at times when they’re, they’re not they’re not necessarily being clear about what they expect to see so I’ve, I’ve had a leaders turn around and say I’ve got this problem I’ve got this person they’re not performing. I’ve told them they need to improve. And I say okay so tell me more about improve and they look at me and go, Well I’ve told them they need to improve. Yeah.

Anne: Yeah, I think this is where it really helps that we can focus on behaviours that we see that add value. It’s really looking at feedback isn’t there what’s the behaviour what’s the impact. You know what’s the opportunities so it should not be a surprise of course at the end of the performance period, if there is a discussion about some particular behaviour that is having a negative impact. But it really shouldn’t be left to the end of the performance period for a manager to say that. And that’s when managers might feel that they have so many different pieces of feedback to give if they’ve left it that it’s very hard for them to cover that. So, you know, performance management and the whole cycle of it is just an everyday experience for an employee.

And if you see it as performance development, unlocking performance through the manager setting these clear expectations giving feedback coaching along the way and then clearly articulating what they have seen, and why they have given the performance evaluation that they have. You’ve got this relationship where an employee can really succeed. And if you don’t do one of those things really do have impact negative impact on an employee and ultimately on the business results.

Ruth: Yes, I mean you mentioned coaching and feedback, and these are ongoing things that you, you should be doing, sort of, weekly, daily, I mean, depending on what it is you know feedback, it shouldn’t be oh we get together once a quarter and I’m sitting you down for performance interim performance discussion. And this is where I’m now giving your piece of feedback and this is where I’m doing my moment of coaching.

Anne: I know and I have heard stories and it’s really sad it’s such an impact and a shock on someone. And so that’s I think where performance management gets such a heavy feel about it for people because I think it can be a place where managers feel like this is where I do it. This is where I get my message. And it shouldn’t be there should be actually no surprise there.

You mentioned something else earlier that occurs to me to just bring up you know about biases and evaluation I mean evaluation is a skill. And it’s really, you know, it requires some subtlety and an awareness in a manager to understand their own biases, so it can be as simple as communication style differences and you and I have talked a lot about that.

It could be that we have a manager who’s very clear and direct and rather tell in their communication style and their employees very gentle and very asking of questions and, and it just really doesn’t ever have a strong opinion, it doesn’t mean it’s not, they don’t have a strong opinion their head, it doesn’t mean that they can’t perform very well, but you might find that a manager just doesn’t perceive that as good performance, whereas another manager of another team with a different communication style or in another culture might go, that’s incredible, because this employee never burns bridges, always brings everyone with them. Always ensures that everyone understands and can pick up if someone doesn’t. That to me is exceeding in terms of behaviour.

So there’s a lot that can go wrong at the end of the cycle when managers are evaluating and that’s why it’s so important to see if you can get a step in that process where managers have a check with each other about what they think good performance looks like in terms of behaviours.

Ruth: And so that they’re aligned. Because as you say it does give you that that sounding board that ability sometimes to just check your reasoning, but also become aware of, maybe this is my personal preference and therefore it’s my bias and actually I’m being unfair here in some way shape or form.

We’ve talked about the struggles and the problems, what would you say good performance management looks like?

Anne: Well I’ve had a couple of managers who have been really good at Performance Management so for me I think I can speak from that perspective you know from the employees experience which I think is a really, you know, strong perspective to take. And so, for me, I’ve certainly known what’s expected of me. I’ve been very clear, I felt it’s within my span of control, and my span of influence and ability so I’ve set out for that time period feeling like this can be done. And that feeling that you can actually do it makes you feel in control and safe, but also a bit like you know what let’s have a bit of a stretch. So those kind of at the beginning of the performance period to know that this is something that you know is aligned with who you are, what your job is and what you do is empowering.

I think that, you know, along the way to make sure that I know that I’m on track that I get feedback along the way means that I have not had any surprises at the end of this time period and that’s also a very lovely experience when you’re working in a company to, to know that what you think about how you’re being perceived and how you’re landing is the case, and that there are no big shocks or surprises or disconnects.

And so at the end of this time period. I’ve also had very clear and performance management reviews, where I can tell my manager is prepared. And they really can describe to me things that I’ve done well and they’ve described some of them in detail, they surprised me by things I didn’t even notice because they were just obvious for me.

And that they can say this is, you know, this is what good looks like, this is, this is where you know this is why you have the school you have. And I think that’s really important because, of course, we all go into performance manual reviews and we’re thinking well can I get a high score, you know, and in middle score grade but a high score, and then to be able to have something articulated to you to say this is why the score is, is where it is and you come out feeling like I get that, that is logical that fits well with me. That to me is really important performance management, really impactful performance management.

I think the other thing to say here is just reminding me as well as the language that is used in performance management, it’s very important. So, you know, we, we find it really important to describe people who are meeting expectations as good performance because they’re not just you’ll do. You’ll do, and you’ll do. It’s like, actually, you have met all expectations, and that’s good performance, you absolutely achieved all your goals and your behaviour was, you know, collaborative and empowered, the business.

So that’s good performance so the language that managers use i think is something they have to be very careful of. There are times when I hear stories of managers, not really aware of, perhaps what they’re saying but it begins to sound rather personal instead of about the business and the performance. And I think that’s where you have to be careful. So that to me is what good performance management looks like when, you know, there are no surprises and you’re crystal clear, and you have confidence and you accept and agree.

Ruth: Now, at the moment, there is an awful lot more people working from home doing remote management, and I was just wondering what your thoughts were in terms of what are some of the things that can be thinking about now, to help performance management when they’re no longer actually in the same space as one another.

Anne: Do you mean from a manager perspective or yes, well I’m kind of thinking as a manager you know now I’m working from home. My team is remote. It’s a big shift for me, going through all of this. And so you know we’ve talked about the coaching and the feedback and those kind of things but what is the something that I could do. That’s, that’s gonna, you’ve said about the safety of the person, you know, so what can I do with my employee that builds that safety that means we’re still having good good performance management conversations whether we realise it as good or not.

Yeah, well I think one of the things that has to be done in this time period is a review of objectives, it may well be that what you said you would do is now no longer possible. And if you’re still feeling in the background like well my, you know if there’s a formal system where they’re written in. That’s not updated and I may have said yes to my manager I’ll try this, but I can’t do that. I would want to as an employee have that system updated and I would want to have that conversation with my manager.

So, if we flip it now to the manager perspective as a manager I would want my employee to know that whatever you’re doing at this time period if, you know, I mean across the world there are people with very reduced ability to deliver on their results. And if a manager is saying look, we understand that so let’s just agree what you can do, and maybe even part of the objective becomes looking after yourself.

And, and maybe even, you know if this is a time period where you suddenly have a lot more time on your hands and you can’t deliver on some of these results. What are we going to do to help you to keep you feeling well balanced, to have a look at you developing some new skills that you’ve always wanted a bit of time for it depends on if someone is feeling like they are in a position to actually be creative and grow their skill set or not.

A manager has to at this point in time. Let’s be really realistic about how the situation for my employee. Do they want to develop and grow. Am I just helping them deal with the reality of the situation, kids at home and doing a bit of work, I mean that’s the most important thing I think a manager could do.

Ruth: Yeah, I agree, meeting them where they are right now, and finding a way of reducing their anxiety so as you say if they revisit their objectives, then it can it can help reduce that person’s anxiety of trying to still deliver when everything has changed. And as you say for some people, they will have the space to be more creative, and to do, maybe to do channel their time into other areas, which in one sense leads me on to my next bit which is around, learning and development in general because in some cases for some people this is an opportunity to spend a bit more time on learning and development.

So let’s say for an individual what would be some of your thoughts on how they can get the most out of this?

Anne: Yeah. Well, there are, first to say. There are of course, some people at this point in time, who do not feel like they’re in a position of growth, they might be in survival. And I think it’s so important for a manager to be able to identify the difference because there’s no way that we can be in the space of development and discovery.

If we are in a place of survival, or just getting by on a daily basis with the kids, etc. Absolutely, yes. So, and then another thing to consider is, if we’re talking about development. Most development as we know, is really going to happen when you can put these skills into practice. So it’s about what kind of skills are you looking to develop at a time where you may be working from home, or may you know, can you really practice communication skills or leadership skills. At a time like now when you’re not actually working with people in a normal manner, but could you develop your ability to create pivot tables or to understand a new topic. Yes.

So I think it’s about being very clear about what somebody can do and also not being hard on yourself you know if you you’re curious about a topic and you want to do something about it. This also may well be a time when you can spend a little bit of time with a cup of tea because I’m British on a video conference call with somebody asking them their views on something and getting them to tell you how they’ve learned a topic.

So it’s really a nice time to start learning peer to peer learning from other people just asking how did you do this or, where would you go Where would you suggest I go So, you know, it is hard for some people, and I really understand that to be curious, and in a phase of growth but for other people that are so that’s an opportunity to take.

Ruth: As you say, learning and development,  you should be able to practice what you’re learning, at that point, you’re learning for rather than I might apply this in two years time, you never know. Then, that doesn’t really work and, and there’s no point asking people to learn things, if their level of anxiety and stress is high, because this is just gonna push them over the edge so I totally agree with you.

Anne: Something else occurred to me as we’re talking about this is performance management the best of performance management could show up at this point in time, because I know that certainly companies like my mine and other companies are saying so do we really want to evaluate people on a score right now is that relevant because that’s not really the point of performance management per se, on its own. It’s about performance development, unlocking performance so are we going to have a look at things like having well- being conversations reflecting with our employees, talking about the behaviours we’ve seen that are just spectacular in a time like this. That’s where we could start saying to them, you know what we understand that these objectives are unrealistic and let’s reduce them. And then let’s put them aside for a while and now just let’s look at you as an employee in this company, and how well you’re doing and let’s reflect on that. And what does that mean in terms of skill sets for you in the future. So, you know what I’m seeing right now is the best of, you know, managing performance unlocking performance by going it’s not about this number. It’s about you, and how we help you grow.

Ruth: And you know in times of crisis it does show us facets of yourself that maybe we didn’t realise were as strong as they are.  And opportunities to look at investigating something, not necessarily you know learning it in depth, but pursuing things that we maybe wouldn’t have thought of, but as we start doing it ,it’s like there’s actually opportunity and possibility here.

Anne: Yes, yes. And it may be small steps, I mean I see from my experience that we’re learning to work in projects differently to you know get very very clear on our communication lines to ensure that one or two people decide and we move like all these different ways of working, I can see will be useful when we all go back in the office, and they may help us to speed up because of it.

Ruth: I agree. And I also think is you know you said about having well-being conversations and you know as we’re having conversations with people and we’re in their home with them, I find that I’m getting to know people in a level that otherwise maybe I wouldn’t have got to know them. So there’s a richness emerging, that isn’t gonna disappear.

Anne: It’s really good you say that because you remind me that one of the messages that we really want to make sure we bring out in performance management, but generally, is that we need to take the whole person into account and on any given day. Any manager should be taking the whole employee into account for different perspectives of them and what they expect from their culture, what they expect a manager to be like for them what they expect their, their working environment to be like, and also just take into account their, you know circumstances in their life, or you know capabilities, they have or growth areas they have said the whole person but this is honestly the time to take the whole person into account.

And what’s so lovely is so many managers are getting to see into their employees worlds into their living rooms they’re meeting their children. We have countless examples of, you know, little kids running backwards and forwards and babies and saying hello to different members of the family, and it is really very much bringing the whole person into account. And I feel like that’s an important part of performance management.

Ruth: Yes, I agree.

So we’ve talked a lot about performance management and, and I now just want to broaden it out a little bit more general and we’ve entered a new decade. And as we entered this decade we also have entered it with, with a lot of disruption. And so as leaders, what would you say in terms of leadership for this decade is maybe being asked of us, that we pay more attention to either developing or letting something go?

Anne: That’s a really good question.

So, okay, what I find myself saying a lot, so this might be the answer to this is that we really have to be aware of our impact on other people. So we have to be aware of our as managers our impact on our employees, and it’s something that I think we, we, we forget to think about especially managers who’ve been in the position for a long time, we forget that our employees aren’t really telling us what they really think we forget that they’re agreeing more than they’re disagreeing that they’re probably having a chat about their challenges with, but with each other and supporting each other.

So I feel like, you know, the focus of a leader and a manager in this decade is to be present and conscious on a minute by minute basis of their impact on the people around them, because we can have a bad day as managers and leaders, but my goodness, how many people could we make have an even worse day, if we just aren’t feeling good, or grumpy or snap, or don’t listen well.

And so for me the number one thing is employee experience. if your employees are not having, you know, just a rewarding experience at work, they will leave, at some point, they will find that somewhere better where they believe they’ll have a better, more rewarding employee experience. Now we don’t need our employees to like us, or lovers, but we need them to feel like they’ve been given an environment where they can succeed and feel like they can add value. And we are the number one factor in that experience and we sometimes just forget it over time.

Ruth: We do we become complacent I think, or just forget the importance of how I’ve how somebody is. The way that they can look at you can make you feel it can be something as subtle as that.  I’ve said to leaders you know when you walk into the room What do you bring with you. And when you leave what wake do you leave behind. And once you become more aware of that, as you say, you become aware of the impact that you’re having and you building it up, are you knocking it down, because, as you say, once you’ve knocked it down enough, they’re gonna go find somewhere else to be.

Anne: And just to run back in a way that you know just really circles around performance management. Again, you’re not there to make employees like you know but you are there as a leader to be fair and to be clear and transparent and set the road ahead, and to make decisions that can help employees do their job well, all of which is performance management.

So, you know, if a leader saying, Where would I look to feel that I could give that good impact on my employees and I’m not looking at their emotions and their character and, you know, particular personality I don’t want to operate in work from that perspective, I would say you look at the performance management process that you are fair and transparent and clear in Objective setting that you are clear and transparent and decisive, and you give coaching and you give guidance and you give advice, all the way through for them to help deliver on the results.

And at the end you articulate it all to them in a way that they say, I see me, and I get this I get your logic I get your reasoning.

Ruth: What you’ve just said, I think is so powerful for all leaders out there who said to me, one of the things I want to be. Want to develop or one of the things I want to be known for is being transparent. Yeah, I think what you’ve just said you’ve nailed it as a way for them to work on being more transparent.

Anne: yeah. If it’s anything else but business processes, you’re going to feel like you’re back to emotions that’s a tricky place to be as a, as a leader and a manager so look to the business processes and be totally transparent there and totally fair. And then you know that you’re going to create the environment and the engagement that you want in your employees.

Ruth: So I’ve got one final question for you. And this is for you to share your words of wisdom on your leadership journey, what would you say would be a little nugget that you would share with other leaders on their journey that you think would help them?

Anne: I would say that I sometimes forget that I can learn from people at all levels of the business. And if I’m not careful, I’m just looking at my peers and I’m looking up, and I have some assumed expectation that I can learn from them. But in fact I’ve realised, you know, over the years that there are some amazing people around me that I can learn from but the only way that I can really learn from them is to ask them questions and somebody I know very well. That’s you. Reminded me, ask more questions, you know, and I’ve just found one question more. I mean it’s just shocking, sometimes, how one extra question, I can find out things maybe about them that I would really need to know or want to know, or just something extra that’s part of a business project that will help me immensely. But just one more question has made an incredible difference to me and I can learn from everyone around me.

Ruth: Thank you so much for joining me today. I have really really enjoyed myself. And as always, it’s been a fantastic conversation I’m sure we’ll have many more.

Anne: Thank you so much for inviting me Ruth, it was really lovely to hang out with you.

Ruth: Okay, well, Until next time.

The post Interview with Anne Parker on Performance Management appeared first on Blue Pea POD.

In conversations with leaders, the topic of motivating staff often comes up.  Either the company has gone through some lean times, or there is constant pressure on budgets.  In some cases it’s about a war on talent and retaining your best staff.  Other times it’s that leaders have asked their people to keep giving that bit extra of staff to make it through the challenge.

To combat any of the above one option is bonus’s and pay rises.  And given some of the above challenges the extra cash may not even be available.  Which isn’t as bad as it seems.  Frederick Herzberg said donkey’s years ago, pay is a hygiene factor and not a motivator.  Without it you’ve got serious problems, but there is a point beyond which it doesn’t motivate or engage staff.

In fact Lord Richard Layard wrote a book Happiness – Lessons from a new science.  Research shows that there is a fiscal point above which earning anymore doesn’t make you happier.  If memory serves me right it’s £25K.

Here are some of the things that increase employee engagement

These softer, more intrinsic aspects are what we should ensure are present.  Typically when they aren’t, that’s when people start demanding more money.  It’s a sign that they don’t feel valued but are at a loss to put in place the intrinsic factors, so the tangible cash solution is a sticking plaster that patches things up for a while.

As the profits increase staff will, quite rightly, expect a share of that somehow.  And if you can’t offer cash bonus’s get creative.  Use the money you do have to invest in ensuring the more intangible, intrinsic motivators are present, then the results are often far higher than a pure cash solution.

Some of the intrinsic elements I mention above won’t require a lot of money, if any at all.  They will take up some of your time and energy.  Even something like learning and development doesn’t have to cost.  There are so many sources of good material, that you can use to stimulate discussion.  And following that discussion, agree action and support them in implementing it.

In fact you might find that it’s a good thing to practice before you do invest money on their learning and development.  They’ll already be in the habit of thinking, and applying, which means when you do ‘send’ them on a paid course they’re going to implement something from it, rather than see it as a jolly day out of the office.

Let me give you a starter for ten, watch this video from Daniel Pink and ask yourself what can I implement in my team right now?

And when you are contemplating the right time to invest in your leaders, we have some tips to consider so that again you invest wisely.

There are of course other things your employees look for from you as a leader.  We share 5 of the things you should be doing in this article.

Lastly here is more inspiration on ways of engaging your staff.

The post Money Doesn’t Motivate – So What Does? appeared first on Blue Pea POD.

How often do you hold back or not say or do something because you’re worried about how it will be perceived?  If the frequency is higher than you’d like then take comfort, you’re not alone, most of us do this far more than we’d be comfortable to admit.

Blending in or holding back are our tell-tale signs that we’re being less than authentic.  What’s worse when we do it -usually in order to feel safe – we end up selling out on our self.  Over time this repeated sell out leads our ‘self’ to feel under valued, unwanted, and wrong.  And so begins a long spiral downwards, where we put more and more of our self in a box. Think of this as a long slow death before the ultimate box marked coffin.  Yet it’s not irreversible, at any we time can stop boxing ourselves up.

What we’d all like is to have the freedom of self-expression.  To be who we were born to be, loud and proud.  Not looking over our shoulder and second-guessing people’s reactions and responses.  Not reacting to a look that we’ve interpreted as disapproval of us as a person.

Here’s the rub though, we’ve had years of practice, feedback and learning to hold back, to second guess, to judge and silently ask another to be a little less of themselves and fit in more.  We probably became masters of this in the school playground, learning it’s more important to be ‘liked’ and fit in than to express yourself, follow your passion and go for your dreams.

Human beings need positive social interaction, the sort in which we feel included and have a sense of belonging.  We also need to be authentic.  And therein lies one of the biggest ongoing challenges of life.  To be able to have it all, rather than it being an either / or choice.

We all want to be our true selves and know we’re valued and have a place in the world.  As leaders we talk about being a role model and the above-mentioned challenge is possibly the hardest of all.  Can I still be true to myself or am I now feeling like I should be someone else?

Learning to delegate and not micromanage might seem tough but it’s nothing compared to this challenge.  Building high performing teams, coaching your staff or getting commitment to a vision are all learn-able – and the secret sauce that differentiates the good from the great is the leaders ability to be themselves, to allow others to be themselves and for all to feel included and belong.  In short, I call it Authentic Success.

Make a commitment to your own personal growth.  This is one investment that lasts a life time.  Where ever you go, there you are.  Your skills, talents, personality, values, identity – all of that goes with you.  It doesn’t belong to anyone else.  You may share these gifts (possibly in return for money) but the other person doesn’t own them.

What self-awareness and personal growth have you done in the last 12 months? (This could be books you’ve read, courses you’ve attended, goals you’ve completed or are in the pursuit of etc.)

As leaders we can fall foul of thinking personal development is a luxury, something we will fit in when we have the time.  Now Professional Development that’s more important.  If you’re in IT and you program, then keeping up to date on coding for example is important.  In leadership your value is in balancing people, task and system.  Therefore, developing your people skills is crucial and that can often look like personal development and so we mistakenly de-prioritise.

I’ve met leaders on a course who learn everything from the perspective of their team, others, out there.  You also need to look within, at you.  Otherwise taken to the extreme you become a leader who thinks everyone else is the problem and everybody else needs to change.  If your people skills aren’t delivering what you want, then chances are it’s your level of self-awareness that needs focus.

We all get scared, it’s what we do with it that matters.  Do you let it stop you from having what you want?  Or do you acknowledge it and move through?  The latter requires courage. I know courage is a quality and not a skill and it can be developed.

One way of doing this is to look around at others who you would say are courageous and then notice what is it they do, how are they being?

The other way is to allow yourself time for personal reflection, every time you acknowledge a fear and then take action to move through, that’s courage.  We often get stuck in deciding if something worked by the outcome.  You can move through a fear and not get the desired outcome, so technically that looks like a mistake or failure.  And the moving through, took courage, recognise it, own it.  That way your courage muscle gets stronger.

Celebrate your successes – This can be your achievements this week.  It can be that you pushed yourself through fear and did something you’d otherwise have backed off from.

Celebrate yourself – you don’t need to shout about it to others but do acknowledge yourself.  We’re often far better at acknowledging other people, than ourselves.  We often encourage others more than we do ourselves.  From now on do both of these on a regular basis and your confidence and self-esteem will increase dramatically. There are other knock on positives too, but I’ll let you find those out for yourself

What are you doing as habits would be the surface way to look at it.  The deeper way is to become aware of who am I being consistently.

Start with your habits, what behaviours do you do regularly?  What actions do you take, usually without thinking?

Which ones still serve and which ones are out of date or the tiny you in action?

Then look deeper, what feelings or emotions do you experience regularly? What thoughts do you frequently entertain?  What qualities do you draw upon?

I remember years ago my mentor asked me the question “Ruth, what are you apprenticing yourself to?  And is it worth your life energy?”  It was one of those questions I couldn’t instantly answer.  I lived with it and as my awareness increased there were elements for which the answer was no.  There were also elements for which the answer was a exhilarating yes.  And this insight helped me course correct.  It’s a question I reflect upon at least once a year.

If you do only one thing, then answer the last question I posed.  Ideally you’ll take the time to answer all the questions.  And should you want to fast track your results and leadership to experience Authentic Success then 1:1 coaching will help you.

The post Will The Real You Please Stand Up – How to Be An Authentic Leader appeared first on Blue Pea POD.

A company with a well-defined purpose and passionate employees who share it can unleash a massive boost of employee enthusiasm that can only be born when purpose and passion align.   Unfortunately, this is a ‘free’ resource that most companies of all sizes are not tapping into nearly enough.

Wayne is among a growing number of talented individuals who have struggled with finding a role in their organisations in which their purpose and passions could flourish.   Moving up the career ladder he eventually felt so disconnected with his profession he wondered what it was that even attracted him to it in the first place.

At this current phase in his career he was spending more and more time with politics and less on building meaningful relationships, making a difference and achieving any kind of success or results.

“I began to wonder why I turned up; each day I felt a little more of my energy and enthusiasm disappear.  I was also getting more frustrated at the lack of authenticity within the company, what it said it stood for and what it asked for / rewarded were very different.  At this point I decided enough was enough and I needed to take action.  The very first action being to take time for myself and consider my future, so I hired my coach.”

This phase of reflection helped Wayne to see just how inauthentic he too had become, slowly his values and strengths and passion had been eroded, and he had to accept that he’d let that happen.  However the coaching also helped him to reconnect to what was really important, both in terms of why he’d initially chosen that profession and also what was important to him now.  This discovery process enabled him to connect not only to his purpose but back to his real self.

Then came the review of his current job and company.  Armed with what he knew about himself and what he wanted for his future, he could evaluate his next steps and his relationship with the company.  In Wayne’s case he decided that the company was no longer the right environment for him, realising he’d be asked to compromise again in order to fit in and get on, yet this time he’d be doing it consciously which was even worse.

Interestingly when he went to resign the organisation came back with a salary increase, he promptly refused, but they said they really valued him, and so offered an even bigger financial package.  “At that point I had an insightful discussion with my boss and explained just how much either he or the company didn’t understand me.”

Many talented people we speak with mention that within their career, it is core that they can express themselves and have a sense of fulfillment.  That success without this is no longer real success.  Of course, they have mortgages to pay and people to feed, at least one being themselves.  Yet they very often take the most courageous decision of all, push through the fear and pursue this intrinsic desire for a life and career filled with meaning and purpose.

Wayne moved on to a role and company that played to his strengths, shared his values, and their corporate mission was aligned with his purpose.

“I’m invigorated; what I achieve in a day is phenomenal compared to before.  Yes there are tough days, and occasionally I still ask myself why I’m doing this, but the difference is now an answer comes back, and it gets me going again.”

Many large organisations do take the time to define a corporate mission that underpins their vision of the future.  These short sentences can be used as a guiding compass and a decision-making tool for everyone’s actions.  This enables those that are considering joining to decide if it aligns with who they are too.

If these sentences are a shell then the worst that happens is they recruit someone who buy’s the shell and within six months finds it’s hollow.  Then it becomes an expensive business as they move on, or even more costly for everyone if they decide to stay.

Mission, values, vision and purpose are valuable leverage points for both an organisation – whatever the size and the individual.  When they coincide the payback for all is enormous.

As Wayne’s story shows there are some things you can’t buy.

As the leader – is it clear for the team what the purpose is, the vision for the future and how each person contributes?  What’s the level of engagement, passion and inspiration?

As an individual – do you know what your passion is, what inspires you?  Are you clear on the team or company’s purpose and vision and know where you align with this?

If you’re not sure of the answers, or don’t like the answers then consider taking action and getting back on track quickly.  And if you’d like our help for yourself or in making your team or company more profitable through purpose get in touch.

The post The Power of Connecting Company Purpose to Employee Passion appeared first on Blue Pea POD.

Burnout, stress, overwhelm, overworked.  Just a few of the side effects of having our boundaries at work crossed repeatedly.

A boundary is a line or threshold or limit. Crossing the boundary is often spoken about as an infringement / breach / violation.

We have:-

Here are some everyday ones:-

I liken this to what am I saying yes to and what am I saying no to – typically at an unconscious level.

Let’s look at something mundane – meetings.  We have lots of these in business.  Do they start and finish on time?  Do you turn up and leave on time?  Now if your company cultural norm is that this doesn’t matter then no boundary has been crossed.  That said if your personal norm is that it’s not OK then you’ll feel different about this.

I’ve picked a mundane thing because in one sense the breaking of these boundaries isn’t necessarily going to cause major problems.  And it shows you how simple and subjective boundaries are.

Boundary transgressions though can have a knock on effect.

Now let’s pick something larger that, with enough violations, can lead to anxiety, fear, stress, ill health and burnout.

Workload:-

No it’s not a new pizza choice.  It’s the result of 1 boundary being crossed after another and a sign that being flexible has gone too far.

Several years ago I would answer emails over the weekend and not because I had nothing better to do, but at the request of the sender at 4:55 pm Friday so they could still deliver on time.  On holiday I would respond to email as normal and take phone calls.  Then I realised I wasn’t valuing my holiday, so I’d say to clients when scheduling appointments, “I’m on holiday that week” and some would reply “well can we still do the call because this is important and I’m busy the following week”?

Feeling as if I were being inflexible, I’d say yes. I know, it’s a slap forehead with palm of hand moment.  Anyway not surprisingly I wondered why I was shattered and not loving what I did with quite the same vim and vigour.

Once I began to look at my ‘flexibility’ through a different lens, things shifted.  I asked myself “am I going on vacation or am I just working in a warmer, sunnier climate”, and things got clearer.  Now I’m not saying that I never relax this boundary, and more criteria have to be met for me to do so.

A classic one I see is from leaders on training courses.  Taking time away from the office there are things they still need to keep an eye on.  I’ve got clients who are pulled out of the course for 5 mins, an hour, it doesn’t matter.  They step out and miss out.  Choices we all make them.  Decisions are the norm for leaders.  However I repeatedly see poor business decisions being made as a result of not setting any boundaries or not enforcing the ones that are there.

We’re afraid if we push back, if we say no, if we maintain a boundary, that the client will go elsewhere, or the promotion will be given to someone else.  I can wholeheartedly say that the only clients, and even relationships, I’ve ever lost through upholding my boundaries were a blessing to myself and the business.  In the short term there might have been a cash flow shift.  However what I noticed was that these type of clients were replaced by ones who valued boundaries, theirs and mine.  Now there was a true partnership; respect was there for both parties.

When I allow someone to cross a boundary I let myself down, I put my value as being less than them or their needs and wants.  And so I ask myself, “why would I do this?”  “what do I think I will lose by not upholding my boundary?”  Very often the loss is an illusion or something temporary.  I guess another way of asking the question is “what will I experience as a result of ignoring this boundary?”

The answers to these questions give me perspective.  They help me check in, is this boundary healthy, or is it outdated, is there room for flexibility and under what criteria?  It allows me to make conscious choices and learn and refine.

The stark truth is we often co-create boundary violations.  Interesting thought isn’t it.

In my coaching and mentoring conversations with leaders boundaries come up – not as in “ooh I’m having a boundary issue here” but as I listen I can hear them.  We’re not usually taught how to set boundaries.  And as I said earlier boundaries are subjective.  The line to cross on subject A may not be the same line for you.  If you don’t know what my line is you won’t know you’ve crossed it, unless I tell you.  Once you know what the line is, then to cross it is a different conversation.

Sometimes we have to move the line on the boundary, that’s what reflection gives you.  And we’re lousy at taking the time for reflection.  Again we may be someone who has the intention for daily reflection and then let other stuff take it’s place.  Discipline is different to rigid.

You have value, your team has value and you can’t help them maintain healthy boundaries if you can’t.  If it’s time for you to shine the light on your boundaries and reflect on how they’re currently serving you a 1:1 coaching session can be a valuable investment.

Take a few minutes to reflect on the day (or yesterday if it’s first thing).  What boundaries have you let slide and why?  From the food you eat… to the bad practices you’ve accepted….. to things you said yes to, and perhaps the answer should have been no.  Now decide which boundary is going to help you achieve your desired results and make the shifts.

And if you’d like some help with this get in touch.

The post The Benefit of Setting Boundaries At Work appeared first on Blue Pea POD.

Moving up in an organisation isn’t always easy. While it‘s great for you and your career ladder, you will inevitably find yourself facing various barriers.  

Generally, the higher you go, the more you leave behind the day to day practical side of the business and embrace strategy – this requires some new thinking on your part to build your strategic capabilities. 

The second challenge you may encounter is one of the most significant moves you will face as you move outside of your comfort zone.  

Leading your former friends, peers and colleagues.   

If the thought sends waves of trepidation through you, you wouldn’t be alone!   

Managing former peers can create its own set of difficulties; you may have to deal with individuals who are jealous or resentful and think they should have been the one to be promoted.  

So, how do you win your colleagues round and cultivate confidence in your leadership? 

It’s a good idea to have your manager take the strain off you by being the one to inform your former peers of your new role.  

Rather than you have to say “So guys, I’m the leader now!” you can avoid any awkwardness by formalising the procedure and getting your manager to introduce your new role. 

This also serves to establish you as part of the management team in your colleagues’ eyes by having your manager ‘add weight’ to the situation by confirming your new position. 

If former peers have issues with your promotion, it’s best to address them head-on rather than let them simmer.  

Difficult conversations are an inevitable part of a leadership role.  

Left undiscussed, your team’s grumbles can create genuine problems for you, so a one to one with former peers to get everything out in the open from the word go is the way forward. 

Equally some former peers will think everything will continue as before, especially if there was a good friendship and you’re now working out how to rebalance the relationship and be fair to everyone. 

Addressing potential issues, questions or concerns will enable you both to draw a line and get on with your roles after the discussion. 

What do you want to achieve in your new role?  

Starting a leadership role can be daunting; you need to set yourself goals to enable you to establish your credibility and integrity from the start. 

Planning your first 30, 60 and 90 days will allow you to evaluate what the role calls for, and how you can achieve these goals.  

This is not about personal wins, or feeding your own ego, but about how you can successfully take charge of the expectations of your new job role. 

Which neatly leads me on to the next point to remember… 

Too many newly-appointment leaders change things just for the sake of it.  I’m sure you’ve witnessed this in other leaders! 

Putting your stamp on things might make you feel good about yourself but, believe me, your team of former peers will see straight through your egotistical motives, and it will only serve to damage your credibility at a time when you need to establish yourself. 

So, be sure you only make changes where necessary in your new appointment. If things are working fine, leave them that way. As the expression goes – “If it ain’t broke…” 

By being authentic, you’ll gain respect from your team and acceptance of your leadership. 

Some people still believe that leadership means telling others what to do.  Dictatorial methods will only expose you as insecure and possibly even inept in your leadership.  

There’s a fine line between direction and dictation. 

No–one wants to be dictated to, and although you are the boss, you have intelligent individuals in your team with valuable ideas and knowledge, so make the most of it.   

Working with them, rather than pushing against them to get everything your own way, will enable you to establish a collaborative working environment and mutual respect. 

It’s tempting to want to tell your team how to do things, but try to rein it in.  

You will achieve much better results by coaching them. That way, you will not only create a team that respects you as a leader, but that is enabled to develop their own strategic thinking and abilities that could see them become future leaders.  

It’s no longer the case that you are working alongside former peers.  

This doesn’t mean you have to cut former friends out of your life, but it will mean that you can no longer go for gossipy lunches with them or indulging in office politics.  

You need to accept your role has changed.  

You can’t be chatting about Sharon from Accounts terrible obsession with blue eyeshadow one minute and trying to hold a serious conversation with the same colleague an hour later about their performance and a possible disciplinary review. 

You just won’t be taken seriously and the above is one of the fastest ways to erode trust in a relationship. 

Think, what would my opinion of my boss be if they did this with me?  So, distance yourself at work from your former peers, while retaining a collaborative, respectful and supportive attitude.  

If you follow these guidelines, you will find it easier to move from your former role to a new level of responsibility.  

Remember, consistency is critical for leaders, so remain reliable and authentic in your actions, and you will soon be enjoying leadership of a high performing, successful team. 

Until next time. 

Thanks, 

Ruth 

At blue pea POD, we are in the business of enabling leaders and organisations understand who they are, their identity and purpose, creating the profitable future they desire now.   

Blue Pea POD works internationally with a client base that includes the FMCG, Retail, and Pharmaceuticals sectors. You can subscribe to our podcast here and then if you would like to find out more about how we can help you get in contact here. Or call +44(0) 845 123 1280 

The post 6 Ways To Lead Your Former Peers appeared first on Blue Pea POD.

Emotions are a fact of life.  

We all have them, and it‘s sometimes challenging to keep them in check. In the workplace, emotional outbursts can have a detrimental effect on the whole team, not just an individual.  

Anger, frustration, fear – negative emotions in the workplace can destroy a team; so how you as a leader handle emotion in your team is paramount to your overall success. 

There are two things to bear in mind – the first is handling other’s emotions and encouraging them to develop self-awareness and emotional intelligence skills to deal with their workplace emotions. 

The second is looking inwardly at your own emotions and how they play out in your role as team leader. 

So, let’s start first with you.   

After all, great leaders go first, so it’s only fitting that you should examine yourself first and work on improving your self-awareness skills so that you can successfully initiate change in others. 

Self-awareness is sadly lacking in many of today‘s leaders and yet is so important in leading successfully.  

Marc Brackett, director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence and author of Permission to Feel, states that of all the facets of emotional intelligence, emotional regulation may be the ‘master skill’. 

In other words, your emotional intelligence plays a pivotal role in your team’s dynamic, and being able to regulate your actions and reactions will set the benchmark for your team. 

The ability to assess yourself will inevitably lead to a better awareness of your emotions and the ability to keep them in check in the workplace (and elsewhere!). This will inspire confidence in you as a leader who is thoughtful and measured in their response, and enable you to establish an ethos of trust and flexibility in your team.  

Additionally, self-awareness will lead to an understanding of your mindset, focusing on the positive to create motivation in others and having the necessary drive to initiate action and achieve goals. 

As Stephen Covey said, “Seek first to understand”.  

That member of your team who fails to engage or seems to get angry easily may have an underlying reason. While I’m not suggesting that that negativity should be excused, its more often than not the case that someone who is experiencing emotional outbursts at work has something going on.  

It may be that they are struggling with their work because they don’t have the right skill set, or that they have a problem in their personal life. 

Don’t be quick to judge. 

The best way to handle it is to have an honest conversation.  That way you’re neither assuming, or ignoring what’s going on. 

Don’t be afraid and leave it too long – many leaders shy away from dealing with difficult discussions but ignoring an issue can end up with it getting totally out of hand with team members storming out of meetings, for example, or going off sick, and affecting the morale of the whole team. 

So, have that conversation. And don’t just let the individual know how it’s affecting the team. Give them the opportunity to explain their behaviour. Practice active listening; take on board what they are saying, so they feel listened to, and help them work out a positive way forward. 

Sometimes all it takes is giving your time and empathy to make a difference. 

If you find that your initial conversations stall and no improvement is made in their behaviour, then I recommend a more indepth feedback conversation. 

This will enable you to explain thoroughly how they are being perceived by their colleagues, how their behaviour is impacting the team and the business overall, and how they can change. 

It‘s wise to ensure that it is not due to a lack of communication at this point. Often, we forget that individuals have very different communication styles, and if you are not in tune with your employees’ styles it’s possible that they are missing, or misinterpreting your message. 

So be clear. Ask them what they heard you say. Usually their response will tell you if they’ve heard you and understood, or if they’ve heard you and then made it mean something completely different.  Or just not heard you at all.   

Clarity and transparency will define you as an approachable leader who is willing to listen and take on board concerns they might have, and establish a bond of trust with them. 

Wellbeing in the workplace is something that more employees are putting at the top of their list when looking for job roles.  

It’s crucial that you establish an ethos of excellent communication, trust, ethics and collaboration within your team to ensure that everyone has a voice, and everyone understands how they fit into the bigger picture. 

This will enable you to develop a great workplace culture where individuals are happy in their work and have a clear career pathway. Motivation will ensure productivity and performance, which will ultimately lead to great results, not just for your team, but for your whole organisation. 

How your team members feel about themselves and their interactions with others will directly affect their contribution to the team overall. 

By establishing emotional intelligence both in social proficiency (the ability to communicate and empathise with others) and personal proficiency (self-awareness and motivation), you will directly improve the outcome for everyone and help engage your team. 

In her book Mindset, Carol Dweck refers to cultivating a growth mindset. If you haven’t read it, I can recommend it. 

She comments that a leader’s mindset can directly influence how they perceive the performance of others.  

So, my advice is, to best handle emotions within your team, first address your own emotions and responses. Once you understand and can self-regulate these, you will be able to bring about a positive mindset in others and establish a happy and emotionally well-balanced team.   

Until next time. 

Thanks, 

Ruth 

About blue pea POD 

At blue pea POD, we are in the business of enabling leaders and organisations understand who they are, their identity and purpose, creating the profitable future they desire now.   

Blue Pea POD works internationally with a client base that includes the FMCG, Retail, and Pharmaceuticals sectors. You can subscribe to our podcast here and then if you would like to find out more about how we can help you get in contact here. Or call +44(0) 845 123 1280 

The post How to Handle Your Emotional Team appeared first on Blue Pea POD.

With the increase in change, employees are looking for more than just ‘work’ and the quality of our relationships is key to engagement; As leaders we need more than tools, processes and skills.  We also need to look at our Emotional Intelligence.

Daniel Goleman, Richard Boyatzis and Annie McKee, wrote an essential book on this The New Leaders if you haven’t read it put in on your list.

Becoming more aware of your own emotions and knowing how to use them to drive better quality decision making is critical in your leadership.

Here are 5 areas you can focus on to improve your EQ

How self-aware are you?  Do you know your ‘triggers’ and what puts you in a good or bad mood? This could be a person, a word, a tone of voice, a look.  Knowing what pushes your buttons in either a good way or a bad way is very useful.

For example when I’m teaching influencing, we talk about how we are influenced, not just how can we influence others better.  The more self aware you are, the more you know when you’re being swayed one way or the other.  The more you can make a conscious choice as to what you want to do.

The same goes for your emotions.  You hear a word, you have an emotional reaction, and then you find yourself behaving in a certain way.  This response is a reaction.  The more self aware you are, the more you can choose how you respond rather than react.  Stephen Covey called this response-ability.

What about the impact of your communication style on others?  We have our own preferred style.  There are 4, (we teach these in our communication skills course) and a common reaction from leaders I’ve shared this with is, “now I get why that person and I don’t seem to get on”.  It’s not our personalities; it’s the way we prefer to communicate.  And you can learn to flex your communication style.  Leaders with high EQ do this a lot.

As a leader, your attitude is everything. Seeing the glass as ½ empty, talking about the risks and downsides, what’s wrong, who’s to blame, why it can’t be done.  This has a hidden cost.  Not only are you miserable to work for, but your pessimism is contagious.  You’re training others to think and talk this way.

Train your mind to see the positive first.  What’s working, what’s right, what could be done better. I’m not suggesting that we never consider the risks and look at what could go wrong so we can safeguard against it.  However think of it as balance.

Your brain when your emotions are one of despair, frustration, anger works differently to when you’re hopeful or happy.  It means your thought process is different as different bits of your brain are active dependant on the emotion.  Because of this, your level of resourcefulness and resilience is affected.  And ultimately your decision making is altered, so your decisions are different.  Have you ever looked back and wondered why you made some choice you now label as crazy… what was your predominant emotional state on the run-up to that decision?

So to make better choices and use your emotions wisely.  Look at the possibility first, then make a choice.  Then run your choice through a risk assessment.

I’m not talking about being liked or being social.  It’s not about tailoring what you say or do so that people like you, if doing that means the message is lost.  Neither does this mean you have to attend social events if you don’t want to.  The latter in some cases can be a minefield, especially if you used to be peers with these people.

Approachable people have a ready smile to their face; they say hello and when they ask you how you are, they’re actually listening to your answer.  They’re good at being involved in the conversation, not just talking about themselves.  We also usually describe these people as supportive.

Emotionally intelligent people have a focus on developing and improving their leadership skills; regularly and frequently. It’s not something they did at the beginning of their career.  It’s not a course organised by HR.  They take leadership as a skill seriously, not an add-on when they get chance to their other skills.

Great leaders know it’s not just what they’re doing, but how they are being and who they are being while they do what they do, that’s key to long term success.  And never has it been easier to unlock leadership potential, either in person or from the comfort of your office.

The post Developing Your Emotional Intelligence appeared first on Blue Pea POD.

Many years ago, (I won’t count how many if you don’t mind!,) I was introduced to a couple of different coaching principles that I was encouraged to use as I built my coaching expertise. 

Here they are-> 

‘The meaning of communication is the response you get’ and ‘People are doing the best they can with the resources they have’.

I don’t mind admitting that it took me a while to completely get my head around both these statements. You see, the first one is implying that how someone responds to me is entirely down to me! I know makes your head hurt a bit, doesn’t it.

Then I am expected to believe that a team member who is making life difficult for their colleagues, clients, themselves and yes me…is doing the best that they can…really? 

Fast forward in time and having learnt, in some cases the hard way, these two principles have stood me in good stead; especially in terms of getting better at coaching ‘difficult’ people. 

In this post, I am going to share why these principles made such a difference to the way I coach and handling those challenging individuals.  

Let me start by exploring the two principles.   

When I am working with a team of managers, I will often hear phrases such as; 

‘They just don’t understand what I am asking them to do’ 

‘It’s gone over their heads’ 

‘I don’t get it; they did what I asked them not to do’ 

It’s simple if your team or an individual does not understand you; it’s rarely about their lack of intellect. 99% of the time it’s about how you communicated what you did, the language you used, your style of communication, maybe the detail you did or didn’t use. Put in another way; it’s about what you said, the way you said it or what you didn’t ‘t say. Either way, it’s about YOU, not your team or team member. 

As soon as I understood this, it opened up enormous opportunities for me to do things differently when communicating and coaching, especially difficult people. I will explain more later.

Now this may seem a hard concept to follow as you may find yourself thinking, ‘there is no way my difficult person is doing the best that they can!’

Let’s take a closer look at resources – there is time, money, energy, creativity, experience…  When we look at it from this perspective, we often notice where the gap is.  When I’m tired my energy is lower, my decision making or ability to focus, or listen may not be the same quality.  Consequently the outcome won’t be the same as when that resource is high.  Now it’s not like a get out of jail free card.  I still have to learn from this and take responsibility for myself.  However it is right at that moment I really am doing the best I can with the resources I have.   

What we tend to do is judge, sometimes took quickly.  Let’s think of another situation; years ago you learned to walk.  Hopefully, your parents were kind to you when you fell over.  They praised you, offered words of encouragement, highlighting progress if not directly to you then when they were talking with other parents.  Some people learned to crawl before they walked, others went straight to walking, each took their own route and length of time.  And at the end we can walk, run, maybe even dance; no one said about being in time to the music on that last one.  Again self–imposed judgement.  Notice how quickly we do it.   

Unfortunately we can be less compassionate with adults than we are with children. We judge them and expect more based on what we believe they ‘should’ be able to do. Without checking to see if that was possible at that moment.  A habit which can quickly erode someone‘s confidence. 

How Do These Principles Relate To Getting Better At Coaching Difficult People? 

Before you start thinking about improving your coaching skills further, think about how you can change the mindset and beliefs you hold when you coach. 

How can you start?   

1. Take responsibility for how you are communicating with your problem team member.

Ask yourself, how has your style of communication, and what you said contributed to creating the problem? Be honest with yourself, because you have added to the situation in some way.

Knowing this what will you now do differently? 

2. Coming from a place where you now believe that your team member is doing the best they can with the resources they have, answer the following for yourself;

a) What is the problem I now see related to this team member?

Here’s an example that many of you will relate to; 

You have a team member who hasn’t been performing at their usual level for a few months.  Their motivation is low, and they have been doing just enough to get by, yet this isn’t what they usually do. 

The manager tells the employee in no uncertain terms to get their performance back on track, or there will be consequences. The employee responds by saying the manager is threatening them and to back off or they will submit a complaint. Ouch…..! 

The meaning of communication is the response you get!

So, when the manager said what they said, the employee created a meaning around the word ‘consequences’. For example this could have been that their job was at risk. The manager, on the other hand, may have meant that it would trigger a performance improvement plan being instigated, which is clearly different than thinking you are going to lose your job. 

Also, the belief about the person not doing their best and a potential fear of having to deal with personal motivational issues are preventing the manager from exploring motivation in a coaching conversation. 

If they did, the manager would have discovered more, for example; 

The employee‘s mood and motivation was low because their partner was going through some serious 

Had the manager known this, they would have realised their team member was probably doing a  good job all things considered. 

1. Stop judging and hold the belief that people are doing the best that they can.  

2. Seek first to understand, before being understood 

3. If someone doesn’t understand what you are asking of them, it’s down to you to change how you are communicating so that your message is received and understood it to be.  

4. Change your mindset when coaching and see how your coaching and outcomes improve.

Which of the two principles can make the most significant difference to your coaching? Test them out and let me know.  

Until next time. 

Thanks, 

Ruth 

At blue pea POD, we are in the business of enabling leaders and organisations understand who they are, their identity and purpose, creating the profitable future they desire now.   

Blue Pea POD works internationally with a client base that includes the FMCG, Retail, and Pharmaceuticals sectors. You can subscribe to our podcast here and then if you would like to find out more about how we can help you get in contact here. Or call +44(0) 845 123 1280 

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It appears we’re all really busy these days.

How are you? “really busy”, “crazy busy”, “manically busy” come the replies.

Nope, ordinary “busy” is not enough to win a badge of honour these days.  This Gordon’s gin and tonic advert on the subject makes me smile.

There is a disease in business that is on the increase, and if unchecked, it leads to inefficiency, higher costs and burnout.  I call this disease busyfoolitus.  Variations upon the theme of “yet another week of meetings, site visits and email, so I haven’t achieved what I wanted to.”  Seems to be a common reply to my question of “how’s it going them?”  One Senior Leadership Team recently discussed ways’ of helping their staff deal with this.  A time management course was a hotly favoured solution, until I suggested that we look a little deeper into what might be the source of this behaviour.

It’s when you’re always in action, doing things, you have a to-do list that seems to get longer, not shorter.  The critical aspect is that you can do all these things and still achieve nothing as a result.  While you can’t always see the link between an action and an outcome, overall you do get some indication of the contribution factor.

For example, you could spend your day going to meetings, sending and replying to emails / IM’s, writing PowerPoint slides or 1-page summaries for meetings.  And upon reflection, realise that nothing is different.

Pareto’s law says that 20% of our actions will deliver 80% of our results.  Our focus then should be on working out which of our actions make up that 20%.

Here is just one of the everyday habits that provide the perfect breeding ground for busyfoolitus to spread.

All meetings have a purpose.  There is some reason or outcome for getting everyone together.  Firstly be clear what it is.  That way you know who needs to be there, what you require from them as their contribution and how long this will all take.  Then when you construct the agenda, you can pass on this clarity in your invitation.

Your thought process might go something like this.  The meeting on the 27th May is to review the progress of project jalopy and decide whether we invest in solution X or solution Y.  Bill will spend 10 minutes updating us on the results of the recent perfume study.  Then there will be 5 minutes for questions, and we’ll move on to Sandra, etc….  After we’ve heard from Bill, Sandra and Anneke we’ll be able to decide if we invest in X or we invest in Y; and that final decision should take no more than 20 minutes to conclude.  Then you articulate this thought process as a structure, which is then communicated as the agenda.  This level of clarity allows attendees to know what’s expected.

How many times do you get pulled into meetings and you’re not sure why?  Or you were told why but now you’re there the reason seems to have morphed or evaporated.

How many of your staff attend meetings when they don’t know what the outcome of the meeting is? Or what their contribution is.  Or they don’t know how long they have to present, so arrive with material that would take 30 minutes to cover, only to find they were allocated 15 minutes, but that wasn’t communicated.  Plus due to overruns in order for the meeting to finish on time they now only have 7 minutes.

Of course, the best is when a person’s ego gets caught up in their presentation.  If he took 30 minutes instead of the 15 that were allotted, then I shall take at least twice as long too because I’m equally important if not more so.  Thereby forgetting that the sign of a great leader is someone who can bring a disaster back on track and deliver it to success.  And yes that skill includes meetings too.

How many of your staff stay in meetings when it’s clear they’ve lost their way, or the purpose has shifted within the first 10 minutes, and they’re no longer clear if they’re required or not?

Then again, how many meetings get hijacked by a favourite subject, the current hobby horse of the moment.  Suddenly there’s lots of energy and discussion and if you sat back and listened you’d realise that the conversation is going nowhere.  Initially, it may have had some loose connection to the meeting but has now veered off and got a life of its own.

Having facilitated more events and meetings than I can remember, I’ve seen more than my fair share of the above.  In fact, stick me in a meeting as an observer, and I can tell you who the great leaders are.  Again title doesn’t denote anything.

Now if 20% of your actions deliver 80% of your results, you could spend time documenting all your activities throughout the day and see which produced.  Then again, you could get clear before every action as to the point of it.  What will be different afterwards?  Then keeping that in mind as you undertake the activity, you’ll have instant feedback as to how far on or off track you are.  The more practised and accomplished you become at working with that level of clarity, the more you can help everyone you engage with also work with clarity.

I’ve said that authentic success is about no longer selling out, compromising or blending in at the expense of yourself and results.  I’ve met too many people who engage in the above meeting rituals with their peers and won’t say anything because that would mean standing up and standing out. Yet that’s part and parcel of being a leader.  Even in a room full of leaders, you have to remember you’re still a leader.

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