You know how to use I-statements. You've maybe learned nonviolent communication. But sometimes you want to just be able to RAGE (aka communicate how you feel in all its raw and emotional glory). But you’re absolutely certain that bringing that version of your emotions to your partner or friend is just too much. 

In this episode, Leona shares a framework borrowed from an unexpected place — kink scene-setting — and how she used it to create a container for expressing rage and hurt to her partner. She got loud, she cursed, she flung assumptions at him and he was able to meet it all, because they were both held by explicit agreements about boundaries, time limits, safe words, and aftercare. 

We also get into:

- Why your partner can't hold your emotions (because they don’t feel safe, they don’t know how long it will last, they don’t know if they’ll get a say afterwards, and they don’t know what you need to hear after)

- How informed consent and explicit containers turn emotional dumping into portals of release and deeper intimacy

- The BDSMA framework: Boundaries, Desires, Safety, Meaning, and Aftercare

- Why getting radically specific about what you need (down to sentence structures) sets both you and your listener up for success

And turns out, Leona’s partner didn’t just feel safer after (because he knew exactly how she felt), he was also kinda into it ;).

🌀

EPISODES THAT DEEPEN THIS TOPIC

TBK 14: Suppression runs so deep, we’ve come to call it virtue (the dark goddess archetype & reclaiming your wildness)

https://thebodyknows.substack.com/p/demonizing-freedom-is-a-great-way 

TBK 18: How to actually process emotion (without bypassing, spiraling, or drowning) 

https://thebodyknows.substack.com/p/how-to-actually-process-emotion-without 

TBK 19: The three stages of getting your s**t together, emotionally (Oscillating between over-reacting and self-abandoning is a sign you’re on the right track)

https://thebodyknows.substack.com/p/the-three-stages-of-getting-your 

🌀

OUR LINKS

Join our mailing list for upcoming programs here!

Thank and support us for our work by buying us a coffee here!

Follow Ana on IG here and Leona on IG here.

🌀

TIMESTAMPS

0:00 — The sentence that changed the way I fight with my partner

1:26 — This one is for the people who want to rage, without accidentally burning it all down

2:22 — What it felt like to rage in a held, boundary-ed container (and how he felt afterwards)

3:04 — The BDSMA framework

3:50 — How we set up our scene: Boundaries (time limits, what I could and couldn’t say)

4:43 — Desires: what both of us wanted from this

5:25 — Safety: having safe words in case anything goes off the rails

6:24 — Meaning: no, this doesn’t mean I think you’re a terrible person

7:35 — Aftercare: both people get to receive it!

9:07 — The embodiment world’s blind spot: expression without containers

11:28 — How our scene went (spoiler alert: well)

12:43 — Stop expecting people to guess what you haven’t figured out yourself

🌀

The Body Knows is where we — Ana Ally and Leona Waller‬ — say the quiet parts out loud about healing, somatics, and why trying to “fix yourself” never really works.

We’re not selling five-step plans, and we’re definitely not pretending we have our s**t together.

We're coming back to the wild, wise truth that your body was never the problem. It’s been the compass all along.

✨ Subscribe for:→ New episodes every other week→ Embodied truth, not performance→ A little irreverence, a lot of nervous system wisdom

Oscillating between over-reacting and self-abandoning? Setting boundaries and shutting down? Feeling confident and free, and then like a total poser? Yes, you’re kind of a mess. But everyone is, when they're in Stage 2.

In this episode of The Body Knows, we break down the three stages of reclaiming any exiled part of yourself — dormant, developing/distorted, and divine — and explain what each one actually looks and feels like from the inside. Including the part where you snap at someone who didn't deserve it, apologize, and then overthink yourself into silence the next time… and the cycle repeats.

This episode is 100% for you if you’re on a healing journey that involves reclaiming an emotion or expression like anger, boundaries, sexuality, vulnerability, taking up space, using your voice, etc.

Specifically, we get into: 

– Why we can stay in Stage 1 for so long (because we have DEEPLY self abandoned) 

– The sneaky ways that Stage 2 pretends to be Stage 3, and the major differences  

– How to FEEL Stage 3: attuning to love, being grounded in your body, learning from transmission

– How the people who trigger you most are sometimes just living in Stage 3 with something you've exiled

– Ana's journey through learning to state boundaries without fawning or snapping 

– Leona's journey reclaiming her anger, and how now her anger makes her and her partner feel SAFER 

This episode is part framework, part confessional, and part permission slip. We're both solidly in stage two with plenty of things, and we're not pretending otherwise!

📌

OTHER PODS & RESOURCES

TBK 14: Suppression runs so deep, we’ve come to call it virtue (the dark goddess archetype & reclaiming your wildness) https://thebodyknows.substack.com/p/demonizing-freedom-is-a-great-way 

TBK 17: When “being nice” stops working (learning boundaries like force fields) https://thebodyknows.substack.com/p/when-being-nice-stops-working-tbk  

TBK 5: What somatics helps with, and how to get started (learning to tune your sensitivity to your body and surroundings) https://thebodyknows.substack.com/p/what-somatics-helps-with-and-how 

🌀

OUR LINKS

Join our mailing list for upcoming programs here!

Thank and support us for our work by buying us a coffee here!

Keep binging our podcasts by listening to the Dark Goddess episode next.

Follow Ana on IG here (https://www.instagram.com/roam.and.rise) and Leona on IG here

🌀

TIMESTAMPS

00:00 — Emotions that are destructive versus emotions that open and heal and liberate

01:26 — Triple Ds Framework: Stage 1 is dormant, Stage 2 is developing/distorted, Stage 3 is divine

03:04 — Ana’s journey with boundaries: from being a doormat to overcorrecting to feeling mean

08:15 — Leona’s journey with anger: from being mean to repressing her anger to reclaiming her anger more consciously

15:31 — Learning to tune into Stage 3: how can you create a feeling of more love and liberation with your emotional expression

17:57 — What Stage 3 rage can look like: expressing open-hearted hurt in a way that invites rather than shuts down

24:22 — To find Stage 3, focus less on what you say, and more on where you express from (your head vs your heart, for example)

28:07 — What Stage 3 boundaries can look like: full ownership of your choices and preferences

30:47 — Another framework for relational moments: sometimes we need to be in a “me” moment

35:05 — Stage 3 can be learned through transmission, so look for examples around you

🌀

The Body Knows is where we — Ana Ally and Leona Waller‬ — say the quiet parts out loud about healing, somatics, and why trying to “fix yourself” never really works.

We’re not selling five-step plans, and we’re definitely not pretending we have our shit together.

We're coming back to the wild, wise truth that your body was never the problem. It’s been the compass all along.

✨ Subscribe for:→ New episodes every other week→ Embodied truth, not performance→ A little irreverence, a lot of nervous system wisdom

The world is a lot right now. It has been for a while. And whatever your relationship to the news cycle, most of us are walking around carrying more than we know what to do with…

Which is exactly the problem. We don’t know what to do with it.

We’ve been handed a lot of tools for understanding our emotions: therapy, journaling, self-help books with provocative titles. And those things have their place. But understanding an emotion and processing an emotion are two completely different things. Which is why we can spend a decade in talk therapy getting very articulate about our patterns and still feel like they rule our life. This is what happens when the body hasn’t been invited to the party.

Emotional processing — real emotional processing — is an embodied act. It involves your breath, your movement, your voice. It looks a lot more like a baby crying than a person journaling. And almost none of us were taught how to do it.

That’s what this episode is about.

🌀

Podcast Timestamps:

1:26 – The world is overwhelming and we don’t have good tools for dealing with it

4:21 – What we can learn about emotional processing from babies, and how we can relearn this skill

7:11 – The three core tools for emotional processing: movement, breath, and sound

8:31 – Breath: how to use different breathing styles to move anger, fear, and sadness safely

9:59 – Sound: why using your voice feels so hard, and gentle ways to break the sound barrier

18:13 – Movement: options from tiny wiggles to full‑body shaking to get unstuck

21:06 – Following sensation in your body as a guide for how to move and release emotion

23:59 – Accessible practices for anger, fear, and grief that work with your biology

29:26 – Processing emotions with other people: venting vs ruminating, and getting consent

38:31 – Seeing painful emotions as proof of what you love and what deeply matters to you

39:38 – How to close the emotional processing “container” and ground yourself afterward

🌀

Listen to next:

TBK 9: Conflict avoidance, people pleasing, workaholism: all nervous system responses

TBK 10: Step-by-step tools for discharging stress, anger, and overwhelm

TBK Shaking Practice: A shaking meditation for when you need to release pent-up energy so you can think clearly again.

🌀

Links:

- Join our mailing list for upcoming programs here!

- Thank and support us for our work by buying us a coffee here!

- Learn about one-on-one coaching & support here.

- Watch us on YouTube here.

🌀

The Body Knows is where we — Ana Ally and Leona Waller‬ — say the quiet parts out loud about nervous system healing, practical somatics, and why trying to “fix yourself” never really works.

We’re not selling five-step plans, and we’re definitely not pretending we have our s**t together.

We're coming back to the wild, wise truth that your body and emotions were never the problem. They’ve been the compass all along.

Women are starving for a way to reclaim power without becoming hardened.

There’s a particular kind of tension many women live with. We’re taught to be kind, accommodating, and agreeable if we want to belong. Which, in a nutshell, is a chronic state of self abandonment — outsourcing our sense of worth to the approval of others (*ahem* aka the male gaze). But when we try to reclaim our power, the only models we’re given are domination, aggression, or becoming what people love to call “a b***h.”

So in this episode, we explored an accessible doorway into reclaiming feminine power: the archetype of the lioness. A way of being that holds boundaries without yelling, fierceness without chaos, and power without domination. If you struggle with people-pleasing, self-sacrifice, or feeling like you’re oscillating between being doormat and exploding, this episode is for you.

🌀

Links:

- Join our mailing list for upcoming programs here!

- Thank and support us for our work by buying us a coffee here!

- Practice your lioness embodiment with the support of this pllaylist.

- Keep binging our podcasts by listening to the TBK #14 next - the Dark Goddess episode.

- Learn about one-on-one coaching & support here.

- Watch us on YouTube here.

🌀

The Body Knows is where we — Ana Ally and Leona Waller‬ — say the quiet parts out loud about nervous system healing, practical somatics, and why trying to “fix yourself” never really works.

We’re not selling five-step plans, and we’re definitely not pretending we have our s**t together.

We're coming back to the wild, wise truth that your body and emotions were never the problem. They’ve been the compass all along.

After a 10-day meditation retreat, Ana's chronic pain disappeared. It took her the next five years of studying somatics, nervous system regulation, and integrative health to figure out why.

In this episode of The Body Knows, we dive into a true story of healing chronic illness (Lyme disease) when conventional medicine only promised that symptoms would get worse. We also explore how self-criticism, systemic harm, and autoimmune conditions are weirdly intertwined, and what it takes for our bodies to get the resources to heal themselves. 

🎙️ We talk about:

Neuroception, and why your nervous system responds similarly to a tiger or an infection or your inner critic

The unspoken epidemic of bracing due to overwhelmed nervous systems or unprocessed stress

The necessity of moving through our emotions, or letting our body store them as tension and eventually illness

Concrete changes to go from "my body is the enemy" to "my body is the compass"

This isn't about blaming your body for your symptoms. It's about understanding that your body is using the only language it has to tell you what’s hurting, and what you need to heal.

***

Chapter timestamps:

0:00 - Intro: A story of chronic illness

2:09 - The despair of chronic illness that nobody talks about

6:49 - Ana's early IBS symptoms and the gastroenterologist who offered no answers

8:06 - The crash at 23: Lyme diagnosis and being told it was degenerative

13:20 - The pattern of finding something that helps, improving, then plateauing again

14:40 - The Vipassana retreat where Ana's chronic pain disappeared

17:12 - Finding somatics and finally having a framework for what happened

22:15 - Leona's parallel journey: realizing she'd been the slave driver to her body

26:09 - Neuroception explained: how your nervous system assesses safety, threat, and danger

35:47 - Modern threats beyond the tiger: systemic harm, the news cycle, walking home alone

41:37 - The inner critic as threat: self-worth, desirability, and looking in the mirror

48:52 - Why intellectualizing your emotions isn't the same as feeling them

54:42 - 75% of autoimmune conditions are in women and what that might mean

1:01:47 - Integrative health: movement, rest, food, connection, play, creativity, community

📌

Other episodes & resources mentioned:

TBK 5: What somatics helps with, and how to get started.

TBK 6: A beginner’s guide to embodiment. 

TBK 8: Life gets better when you’re more sensitive… and more grounded.

🌀

The Body Knows is where we — Ana Ally and Leona Waller‬ — say the quiet parts out loud about healing, somatics, and why trying to “fix yourself” never really works.

We’re not selling five-step plans, and we’re definitely not pretending we have our s**t together.

We're coming back to the wild, wise truth that your body was never the problem. It’s been the compass all along.

✨ Subscribe for:

→ New episodes every other week

→ Embodied truth, not performance

→ A little irreverence, a lot of nervous system wisdom

Your stress management strategies probably aren’t working because you're missing a piece.

Most advice for coping with stress focuses on two places: your mind and your emotions. Reframe your situation. Let go of what you can’t control. Feel your feelings. Be gentle with yourself. But there's a third place, a very very important third piece: your nervous system, your body. You know, the place your stress actually LIVES. And until you go there, purely mental and emotional methods don’t stick.

In this episode of The Body Knows, we explore why nervous system regulation is the missing piece in how we deal with stress and overwhelm, especially during the holidays.

🎙️ We talk about:

– The difference between being activated and being grounded (and how to tell which one you're in) 

– Understanding the spectrum of the fight-or-flight response, and noticing before you’ve hit fully triggered

– What your window of tolerance actually is and why it matters 

– Simple grounding practices and somatic practices for stress you can do in the car, the bathroom, or anywhere you can steal five minutes 

– Breathwork for anxiety: the difference between breathing as a checkbox and breathing as a way to actually come home to yourself 

– How to catch the fawn response in yourself (hint: if your jaw hurts from smiling, that's data) 

– How to support yourself and others through holiday stress and holiday overwhelm, or any time expectations are high.

Because you don't need to grit your teeth and white-knuckle your way through hard times. There's another way to calm down and find relief from stress, and it starts in your body.

♥️

Guided practices:

Slow down & remember everything is okay. A breathing meditation for when you need to ground in the safety of your body. https://thebodyknows.substack.com/p/somatic-practice-slow-down-and-remember

Shake it off. A shaking meditation for when you need to release pent-up energy so you can think clearly again. https://thebodyknows.substack.com/p/somatic-practice-shake-it-off

📌

Other episodes & resources mentioned:

TBK 10: Step-by-step tools for discharging stress, anger, and overwhelm. https://thebodyknows.substack.com/p/just-relax-doesnt-work-when-youre 

TBK 9: How to spot fawn, flight, fight, and freeze stress responses in yourself and the people you love. https://thebodyknows.substack.com/p/conflict-avoidance-workaholism-and 

TBK 1: Thinking about your emotions isn’t the same as feeling them — and it won’t help you release them. https://thebodyknows.substack.com/p/the-essential-aspect-of-somatics 

🌀

The Body Knows is where we — Ana Ally and Leona Waller‬ — say the quiet parts out loud about healing, somatics, and why trying to “fix yourself” never really works.

We’re not selling five-step plans, and we’re definitely not pretending we have our s**t together.

We're coming back to the wild, wise truth that your body was never the problem. It’s been the compass all along.

✨ Subscribe for:→ New episodes every other week→ Embodied truth, not performance→ A little irreverence, a lot of nervous system wisdom

We can’t think your way out of fight or flight.

You’re in go-go-go mode, convinced if you just somehow rush through everything, nothing can touch you. Or you’re ranting at someone in your head, or pissed off and snapping, or gritting your teeth and working til the wee hours of the morning. These are all telltale signs that your nervous system is activated, and that energy needs somewhere to go. It’s not a mindset problem. It’s a body problem.

This episode is a guided somatic shaking meditation to help you physically release the stress energy trapped in your system so your body can finally relax, sleep, or really feel anything besides tension.

In this practice, we’ll:

– Move the activation energy out of your body through intentional shaking

– Help your nervous system complete the stress cycle it’s been stuck in

– Release the grip, the brace, the “ready for battle” tension you’ve been holding

– Land you in a calmer, more regulated state

Press play when you’re wired and can’t wind down.

(You can learn more about this nervous system phenomenon here, and the practices that help us re-ground here.)

🌀

The Body Knows is where we — Ana Ally and Leona Waller‬ — say the quiet parts out loud about healing, somatics, and why trying to “fix yourself” never really works.

We’re not selling five-step plans, and we’re definitely not pretending we have our s**t together.

We're coming back to the wild, wise truth that your body was never the problem. It’s been the compass all along.

✨ Subscribe for:→ New episodes every other week→ Embodied truth, not performance→ A little irreverence, a lot of nervous system wisdom

You notice your thoughts are starting to spin. Your breath is shallow and you don’t what to sit still. You think you can maybe outrun this feeling if you are productive enough… but the truth is, you’ll only find relief when you slow down, not speed up.

This episode is a guided somatic breathing meditation to help you come back to your body and present moment so you can remember that you’re okay.

🎙️ In this practice, we’ll:

– Slow your breath from shallow urgency to deep, full inhales

– Guide your awareness out of your spinning mind and into your body

– Help your nervous system remember that right now, in this moment, nothing is chasing you

Press play when you ready to breathe and return to a feeling of grounded clarity.

🌀

The Body Knows is where we — Ana Ally and Leona Waller‬ — say the quiet parts out loud about healing, somatics, and why trying to “fix yourself” never really works.

We’re not selling five-step plans, and we’re definitely not pretending we have our s**t together.

We're coming back to the wild, wise truth that your body was never the problem. It’s been the compass all along.

✨ Subscribe for:→ New episodes every other week→ Embodied truth, not performance→ A little irreverence, a lot of nervous system wisdom

We've been taught that love is synonymous with kindness. That evolution means transcending anger, grief, and rage into high-vibe serenity. But what if that's incomplete? What if the parts of ourselves we've been taught to fear — our wildness, our power, our sexuality, our rage — are not only sacred but EXACTLY what the world needs right now.

In this episode, we're throwing a grenade into the spiritual, self-help space and exploring what happens when you stop demonizing your darkness and start wielding it responsibly.

🎙️ We talk about:

– What archetypal embodiment work actually is (and how Jungian shadow work plays into it) 

– Why "dark" doesn't mean evil; it means the parts of consciousness society has villainized 

– The cost of only accessing light archetypes (spiritual bypassing, self-abandonment, playing small) 

– How to work with the dark goddess archetype somatically: through movement, sound, and embodied expression 

– Why reclaiming your darkness is the missing piece to loving better, leading better, and creating real change 

Because “the only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that your very existence is an act of rebellion” – Albert Camus.

📌

Other episodes & resources mentioned:

Last podcast was TBK 13: You need to get out of your head (but not to where you think). https://thebodyknows.substack.com/p/you-need-to-get-out-of-your-head 

Since this episode was released, we published another dark goddess episode! TBK 17: When being "nice" stops working. https://thebodyknows.substack.com/p/when-being-nice-stops-working-tbk

🙏

If you're enjoying this episode, and want to give back, you can buy us a coffee here: https://ko-fi.com/thebodyknows

🌀

The Body Knows is where we — Ana Ally and Leona Waller‬ — say the quiet parts out loud about healing, somatics, and why trying to “fix yourself” never really works.

We’re not selling five-step plans, and we’re definitely not pretending we have our s**t together.

We're coming back to the wild, wise truth that your body was never the problem. It’s been the compass all along.

✨ Subscribe for:

→ New episodes every other week

→ Embodied truth, not performance

→ A little irreverence, a lot of nervous system wisdom

We're overstimulated, dissociated, and searching for peace in all the wrong places. The answer isn't rising higher, it's rooting deeper.

In this episode of The Body Knows, we explore why grounding into your pelvis might be the most important somatic practice and spiritual practice you've never heard of. We unpack how spiritual bypass, cultural conditioning, and our addiction to intensity have disconnected us from our bodies, and how grounding practice, rooting, and our lower chakras can bring us back home.

🎙️ We talk about: 

– Why we're all walking around like dissociated balloons (and how to come back down) 

– How bypassing keeps you stuck (and why lower chakras change that) 

– The dopamine addiction that's destroying your ability to feel peace 

– Concrete somatic grounding practices you can try right now 

– Why reconnecting to pelvic awareness transforms your presence, power, and pleasure (including your sex life)

Because not all mental health solutions require us to leave our bodies and emotions behind. Sometimes we need to reconnect to the deeper parts of self (which can’t get lost in overthinking, spiraling, or stress) to find peace. 

📌

Other episodes & resources mentioned:

Learning to tune into subtle sensations with somatics

https://thebodyknows.substack.com/p/what-somatics-helps-with-and-how 

Vipassana Retreats

https://www.dhamma.org/en-US/index 

Sabrina Lynn of ReWilding

https://www.youtube.com/@ReWildingwithSabrinaLynn 

🌀

The Body Knows is where we — Ana Ally and Leona Waller‬ — say the quiet parts out loud about healing, somatics, embodiment, and why trying to “fix yourself” never really works.

We’re not selling five-step plans, and we’re definitely not pretending we have our s**t together.

We're coming back to the wild, wise truth that your body was never the problem. It’s been the compass all along.

✨ Subscribe for:→ New episodes every other week→ Embodied truth, not performance→ A little irreverence, a lot of nervous system wisdom