The Body Serve

Clay season is underway, and we’ve seen a Runeaissance, a re-Alcarization, a Penkopalypse even. Stuttgart -- always reliable -- brought a stunning quarterfinal lineup and a surprise winner, while Holger reminded the class that there’s still tons of time to fulfill his promise. There’s much tennis business to talk about, including the first hearing in the PTPA antitrust suit and Opelka’s testimony; Lesia Tsurenko’s lawsuit against the WTA and Steve Simon; and a somewhat voyeuristic ITIA press release. Plus, Dart’s out of left field comment, Shelly Ann clearing the field, and wondering what happened in that Met Gala bathroom meeting.

Theme music courtesy of Oleg Fedak from Pixabay

0:40 Housekeeping: catching a case, getting postcards out

4:50 Holger’s back; Alcaraz wins Monte Carlo, returns briefly to #2

15:45 Stuttgart moves like a 1000-level bitch 

22:15 Another spectator calls out That Guy, this time in Germany

26:50 PTPA gets their first hearing, Opelka testifies

35:00 Harriet why?!  

37:00 Serena on Jannik and … Maria?

42:20 I always feel like somebody’s watching me 

45:35 Lesia Tsurenko sues the WTA

56:25 Our other sporting interests: Shelly Ann & Rory

Yes, it’s been a minute, but we’re back to catch up on Monte Carlo, Charleston, and sadly yes, all the way back to Miami. The top men have utterly failed to capitalize on Sinner’s mandatory vacation, while on the women’s side, Sabalenka extends her rankings lead and Pegula snatches #3 with her strong start to the year. We’ve also got: Kasatkina’s move to Australia, the top WTA and ATP players sending a letter to the Slams a few weeks after the PTPA lawsuit, a few listener questions, and more. 

1:10 Monte Carlo updates: why, Grigor, why?

9:10 Charleston results

14:20 Miami: Eala stuns Iga, Aryna extends her lead

25:30 Don’t count your chickens before they hatch 

28:20 Dasha Kasatkina is now representing Australia 

31:00 The players do love an epistle 

37:20 Coaching and baby news

40:35 A listener question

This week, we’re diving into the antitrust lawsuit brought by the PTPA against the tennis ‘cartel.’ The wide-ranging complaint takes aim at prize money, scheduling, ranking points, anti-doping, and what they broadly view as anticompetitive and illegal activity by the tennis governing bodies. What does the PTPA hope to gain? Which parts make sense, and which leave us with some skepticism? Is unionization a goal, and if so, is it even possible? After spending most of the episode breaking down the major issues in the lawsuit, we hop over to Miami, where all 4 male Indian Wells semifinalists have crashed out, Rafa Nadal Academy grads are making waves, and Djokovic is hobnobbing with the Establishment.

0:55 PTPA files an antitrust lawsuit in three countries - first up, yes we know it doesn’t technically matter, but why these plaintiffs?

06:55 What are the allegations?

24:15 What is the desired outcome?

28:05 Is unionization possible (and is it even a goal)?

36:10 What works and what doesn’t

40:05 The parallels with LIV Golf

46:00 Crashing out in Miami 

55:00 You are the company you keep

Well, well, well, what do we have here? Have we entered the Mirra era? If you know us, you know we’re not saying that, we just wanted to say Mirra era. Andreeva fashioned a Keys-esque run to the title in the desert, beating the same four players Madison did to win the AO from the fourth round onward...in the same order! We talk about Iga, we talk about Jack, and we field some more listener questions on TBS 375

02:15 The Mirra Era

12:19 The Conchita Effect

17:01 What’s up with Iga?

26:28 Jack Draper arrives

37:34 Taking a question about Larry Ellison …

46:32 Finding joy in tennis when things outside of tennis are generally terrible 

51:22 If tennis were played on only one surface, which would you keep?

53:38 RHOP and other Bravo musings 

We’re back to a regular schedule, and up first it’s week one of Indian Wells: Nick and Novak struggling with injury and form, That Guy simply struggling to avoid the #1 ranking. We chat about the draw, the WTA’s new maternity leave benefits program, plus Danielle Collins’ clothing collab and the impetus behind it. Later on we get into some fun listener questions, with subjects as diverse as cricket, gospel music, the Knicks, and public transportation.  

03:15 Question from @lisacrispin on Bluesky: how long does it take to produce each episode?

08:35 Nick’s wrist injury

12:50 Dutch tennis rolls over Novak and That Guy  

17:25 Danielle Collins’ merch drop

24:55 IW draw recap

29:15 WTA announces maternity leave benefits program funded by PIF

33:55 How are we feeling about the Knicks? (question from @dabigjoker on Bluesky)

38:00 Jonathan picks his test cricket XI from tennis players (question from @edwardpolsen)

46:55 Public transit fun (@irascibly) 

49:25 Since it's Oscars season, what actors could you see playing various players in imaginary biopics? (@lobjan) 

54:45 And finally, what’s with our nickname for Kimberly Birrell? (@tomcharles2710)

February ends with Andreeva’s arrival, players getting flewed out by Jessie Pegula, Stef’s mystery racquet saving his career, and Andrey live laugh loving in Doha (but in all seriousness, happy for him!). We’re also covering the WTA’s anti-purple rebrand alongside Billie Jean King’s “tear it all down” approach, Venus Williams’ momentary wild card to Indian Wells, and Serena coming to our town with the WNBA!

1:20 My favorite season: awards

5:25 Stef’s boat 

8:35 Something rotten in the state of Guerrero

15:35 Other results: Navarro, Djere, and Peggy’s private plane

20:30 Rublev wins Doha, opens up about learning to be kind to himself

23:40 Andreeva arrives as a genuine teen prodigy 

28:00 Who jumped out the gate in 2025?

32:20 Venus is back! Oh wait, no, she’s giving a talk in Denmark!

36:25 Indian Wells surface change - let’s wait and see, ok?

38:40 The WTA rebrand: no more charity language and no. more. purple. 

54:45 The WNBA (and Serena!) are coming to Toronto

Tennis, stop. Give us a minute, my God. The chaotic February schedule gives us a first-time 1000 title winner (Anisimova), a first-time ATP titlist (Fonseca), Ostapenko’s fifth unanswered defeat of Swiatek, and Bencic winning a big title soon after her return from maternity leave. While trying to keep track of tennis results, we also saw the resolution of the Sinner’s WADA appeal, the conclusion of the WTA’s investigation into Stefano Vukov, and Simona Halep's retirement. 

01:40 Anisimova wins Doha, Penko turns her year around

5:35 Fonseca’s first title, Schwartzman’s swan song, and will the South American swing go hardcourt?

11:40 Alejandro, por qué???

15:10 Last week: Bencic, Alcaraz, Shapo

19:40 The Sinner Agreement

31:05 US Open makes mixed doubles a glorified exhibition

40:55 Compton’s most famous daughter

47:05 Rybakina’s coach Vukov suspended for a year 

53:30 Simona Halep retires

62:20 We don’t need straight men’s takes on which men are hot

Madison Keys has been a major champion for over a week now! This episode isn’t really about that, but it bears repeating. Checking in on tennis in February, we’ve got Felix winning yet another indoor title, Mertens and Alexandrova making up for somewhat disappointing Australian Opens, and a whole heap of man drama at Davis Cup, featuring one of the only head-on collisions you’ll see in tennis and the current state of ATP umpiring. This episode covers lots of odds and ends including Petra’s imminent return(!), more from the AO men’s final protestor, Ymer’s unretirement, and the US Open’s expansion. 

0:35 WTA titlists Mertens and Alexandrova; Felix wins his second title of the year

6:55 Davis Cup: Garin gets literally run over by Bergs

17:40 Certainly not while wearing that moustache

20:00 Mikael Ymer did the opposite of “break up with your [tennis], I’m bored” 

20:55 Petra Kvitova is coming back, maple syrup magnate Vasek Pospisil is leaving

28:05 One more thing about Madi

34:20 Craig Tiley’s comments on the AusOpen protestor are … lacking 

39:35 The US Open’s manspread 

This was one of those rare finals weekends where pretty much everything we hoped for came true. A perennial fave of fans and her own coworkers, the one-time prodigy Madison Keys showed remarkable maturity and grit to win her first major title. She let go of the “need” to win a Slam, and then managed to defeat #2 Iga Swiatek and the 2-time defending champ #1 Aryna Sabalenka back-to-back. Jannik Sinner defended his title without facing a break point in the final. Tennis keeps trying to make his opponent happen, alas to no avail. Plus, we got cracker women's doubles matchups, Novak HIPAA-violating himself, and Sakkari attending the inauguration instead of winning tennis matches.

1:25 GoFundMe update: Thank you!!!

6:05 Once a tween prodigy, then a best-never-to-win, now a Slam winner

12:05 Madison said therapy works … can’t argue with that 

27:50 After a diversion, a few more notes on the women’s draw

33:40 The ceaseless pushing, literal and figurative 

38:00 “Australia believes Olya and Brenda”

46:45 Ben Shelton v. the media 

53:05 Women’s doubles: SMASH on the girls 

62:25 Call me OptaAce because I’ve got stats 

Just past the midway point of the 2025 Australian Open, the big favorites are mostly still here; a few NextGenners made a big splash in week one, including Joao Fonseca and the episode namesake Learner Tien. We'll take you through the draw, the first week highlights, the upsets, and the reverse hex I put on Alejandro ;)  As always, we spend a lot of time with all the extra stuff happening on top of the tennis: coaching pods, the Danielle Collins mini-controversy, Djokovic’s ‘boycott,’ Nick’s non-event, and a few notes on commentary.

1:55 The first week upsets (aka James was wrong about pretty much everything)

12:00 How the faves are doing? Monfils, Coco, Alejandro (you’re welcome)

24:15 The quarters and how we got here 

30:15 He came for the nepo baby and that was the last straw

33:30 Coaching pods! (At least they’re not mic’d)

38:50 The Danielle Collins (and Colleen?!) Fund

46:05 WADA will not appeal Swiatek’s case

50:30 Tony Jones gave Novak a grievance. Thanks a lot, Tony

55:05 Erin Routliffe with the quote of the tournament

57:25 The kits: Coco’s is a hit, but the Nike spaghetti straps … please