JWSP

The Breadsticks Ain't Come Out Yet


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This week's "Who Said It" is a prediction about Iran and negotiating skills — and depending on how you feel about recent headlines, it's either painfully accurate or about to be proven wrong in real time.

Tesla's getting a boost from an unlikely source — retail investors piling in while insiders are locked out from selling — and meanwhile SpaceX just made someone the world's first trillionaire on a $2.6 trillion valuation for a company that's bleeding billions. We break down the lockup structure, the timing, and exactly when you should expect the exits to start.

It was a busy weekend in Ukraine — Russia launched a massive wave of missiles including some genuinely terrifying hypersonic hardware, and a UNESCO World Heritage site took a hit in the process. There's also some real diplomatic movement worth celebrating, plus a ceasefire announcement that comes with so many asterisks we're not sure where to start — a mountain, a memorandum, and a number Trump used to describe nuclear materials that you're not going to believe.

The reflecting pool saga continues and somehow gets dumber. Brooke Rollins wants credit for a screw worm program that quietly got way more expensive after DOGE supposedly "streamlined" it.

And then there's the weekend's main event — a birthday extravaganza on the White House lawn that delivered some fight outcomes nobody saw coming, a culture war moment involving a sitting First Lady's husband that we're still shaking our heads at, a cursive-related conspiracy theory, a hacking claim that convinced absolutely nobody, and an infomercial moment so transparent it might be the funniest unintentional reveal of the year.

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JWSPBy Alex Midway and Eric Halsey