JWSP

Episode Summary:

This week’s “Who Said It” is a message to Ukraine that is equal parts hype speech and battle cry — and once you hear who said it, you’re going to want to put it on a motivational poster immediately.

Tesla drops heading into the Roadster reveal tonight — a car that requires a $50,000 commitment before they’ll even tell you the price. Elon promised excitement but not success, which is either deeply honest or deeply concerning depending on how much you just wired. SpaceX keeps sliding and a French competitor just got a very interesting bump that we think tells you something about where Ukraine’s loyalties may be headed.

The energy ceasefire lasted exactly as long as it took Russia to hit another power plant — and the retaliation that followed involved some very satisfying footage out of Rostov and Ryazan. But the week took a darker turn when Starshield got throttled in a way that grounded Ukraine’s fastest drones right in the middle of active operations. We walk through exactly what that means on the battlefield, how Musk clarified his own role in it, and what it says that the order came from the top. Kash Patel showed up in Moscow this week and tweeted something that we are going to read out loud very slowly.

Kushkof met with European delegates in Miami and floated a proposal involving frozen Russian assets that is so brazen we had to read it twice to make sure we understood it correctly. Peskov gave Zelensky a compliment. We explain why that is the Diddy cameo of diplomatic signals.

The White House press secretary may or may not have passed the bar exam — she was asked which state, said China, and the rest is a very weird Google rabbit hole that we went down so you don’t have to. Jerry Seinfeld had a rough night in Chicago and handled a protester in a way that his own show’s character would have done better. Shane Gillis may have been doing guerilla marketing on SNL and we’ll let you decide how you feel about that.

And we close with Taco Bell ascending to its rightful place — because KFC just switched from Pepsi to Coke, the last logical argument against Taco Bell’s supremacy has crumbled, and we are living in historic times.

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This week’s “Who Said It” is about the Houthis, Iran, oil prices, and the words “NOT NICE” — and once you find out when it was written and who wrote it, the Russian diesel deal that dominates this episode is going to feel like a very specific kind of déjà vu.

Tesla is flat and Elon is very concerned about Waymo hitting pets — we note what he chose not to mention about Tesla’s own track record with strollers at intersections. SpaceX dropped after a Chinese memory chip breakthrough threatened the AI data center trade, and we walk through what that actually means for a company whose valuation lives or dies on that ecosystem.

Ukraine hit Yandex — Russia’s Google — four times across four different regions, and something very interesting happened to the bot accounts, the AfD support numbers, and Elon Musk’s engagement metrics immediately afterward. We are not drawing conclusions. We are simply presenting the timeline.

Trump announced a Russian diesel deal that will supply America for approximately 2.32 days — we did the math so you don’t have to. A tanker called the Minerva Zen left St. Petersburg on September 22nd and is currently sitting off the US coast. Six senators are objecting. Congress is home until November 9th. Trump also declared an “Energy Ceasefire” on Truth Social — and within two hours Russia had hit a power plant in Kharkiv. Ukraine has held up their end. Russia has not. We note who got blamed anyway.

James Talarico had the flu, which became a 47-second AI-generated phone call, a White House deputy chief of staff posting conspiracy theories, and a suspension on X for the person who debunked it. Kassy Musgraves got involved and said something about a dog that we need you to hear. Iran’s foreign minister responded to Netanyahu with a list that starts with Hamas and ends somewhere that made the entire internet stop scrolling. Susan Collins accidentally ran her Maine attack ads in Oregon for four days. A man on bail for child rape is running unopposed for police chief in a state that should surprise nobody. And the Pentagon just announced they’re broadcasting an execution — we let Markwayne Mullin explain why that’s an American value and we let that sit right there.

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This week’s “Who Said It” comes from a Trump donor — and once you hear exactly what they said and why they’re saying it now, it’s going to reframe every story in this episode about who this administration actually works for.

Tesla slipped slightly on a comparison article that manages to gush over the more expensive option anyway, and SpaceX dropped for reasons nobody could identify — which at this point is just Tuesday. We have a grocery store math problem that ties it all together.

Ukraine just redirected two hypersonic missiles into the Dnipro River using an electronic warfare system from a startup that didn’t exist before the war — and we explain exactly how you hack a missile traveling a mile per second. Residents in Kyiv got their GPS rerouted to Peru in the process. The Bars drone has a new job, production is at 2,000 units a month, and the Germans helped build it — which is a sentence that would have sounded insane in 2021.

The reason the peace deal hasn’t happened has been identified: Ukraine won’t agree to give Russia everything Russia wants. Jared is reportedly frustrated. We have the full breakdown of his investment portfolio, his Gaza rebuilding plan, and the Qatar brothers — and we’ll let the audience decide whether “peacemaker” is the right word.

Mamdani marked October 7th in a way that made Republicans furious and made us think about what actually happened on October 8th and every day after. Pete Hegseth showed up to a press conference with a new logo, a very specific suit cut, and a speech style that we are going to describe very carefully. He also ran with some Marines in San Diego and we have thoughts about where he was in the formation.

A British banker who connected the Commerce Secretary to the Epstein files using Ctrl+F was found dead outside Bangkok, ruled a suicide. The commerce department found no wrongdoing. We’re not saying anything. We’re just noting the timeline.

A former cop in Texas stalked his ex-girlfriend 25,000 times using department equipment and got five years — the feel good story of the week, relatively speaking. The US has lost 81 aircraft worth up to $3.3 billion in the Iran war. Fuel economy standards just got quietly slashed. And Brian Mast tried to slip a passport revocation bill through Congress that would have made your political opinions a travel document issue — we explain who Brian Mast is, what he was wearing on Capitol Hill after October 7th, and why those two things belong in the same sentence.

Mattis Quote:  "I come in peace. I didn't bring artillery. But I'm pleading with you, with tears in my eyes: If you f'k with me, I'll kill you all." 

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This week's "Who Said It" is about gas prices, refineries, blue states, and Ukraine — and the creative geography involved in that explanation is going to set the tone for everything that follows about how this administration talks about energy.

Tesla jumped and the most credible theory involves Elon unfollowing someone on X — we explain the relationship, the timeline, and why four secret children and a perjury allegation make this one of the more complicated breakups in recent memory. SpaceX ticked up too, and we eventually found the actual reason, which involves Taiwan and semiconductors and is considerably less dramatic.

Ukraine has now knocked out half of Russia's refining capacity — and while Trump is blaming blue states and Ukraine for fuel prices, the US Strategic Petroleum Reserve just hit its lowest level since 1982. The EU opened their strategic reserves after being threatened into it. We note where that leaves everyone if this conflict escalates.

The New York Times dropped a story about Kushner and Witkoff quietly negotiating to acquire Russian oil fields as part of a peace deal — and once you map out the Albania real estate connection, the Qatar brothers at the inauguration, Kushner's defense investment portfolio, and his $2.4 billion Gaza rebuilding plan, the phrase "conflict of interest" starts to feel very inadequate. Russia's sovereign wealth fund chief called Jared a Peacemaker with a capital P and a dove emoji. We have thoughts.

Pneumonic plague showed up in Siberia and Trump immediately offered to help Russia — the same administration that spent years telling us to distrust doctors. Ukraine shot down a jet-powered drone using something that has never been used for that purpose before, and we're going to make you guess what it was. Mamdani moved 10,000 families off the childcare waitlist and Fox News is reportedly doing fine.

The B-1 Lancers pulled out of the UK base after five terror suspects were released on bail — and what replaced them in the region tells a very different story about what comes next. Kristi Noem spent her last days at DHS buying planes at prices that made aviation experts visibly uncomfortable, from a donor who somehow didn't know her name was on his website. And Dennis Hastert died — and we say exactly what needs to be said about that.

If you are wondering about the album art this week that's the inside of Trump's jacket at one of his rallies. Make sure to outsource all your maga rally fits 

In case you want to check in on the Strait of Hormuz ship traffic, the link is below

Strait of Hormuz Ship Monitor | Live Tracker & Oil Flow

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This week's "Who Said It" is about Islamist tendencies, radicalization, and a pretty good clue — and once you find out who said it and what they were talking about, it tells you everything about how some people weaponize a tragedy before the bodies are even counted.

Tesla took out a $30 billion loan the same week European registrations jumped — and the Roadster reveal got delayed again, this time for weather, though the reason they're giving for the delay is actually kind of incredible. Elon skipped the Semi launch entirely because he was having pie at the White House with Trump and Xi, and we have thoughts about that image and what it says about priorities. SpaceX is flat but now launching data centers into orbit, because apparently gravity itself is the last obstacle to computing power.

Zelensky pitched Trump a simple deal this week — stop hitting our energy, we'll stop hitting your refineries — and Moscow's counteroffer involved an in-person meeting in Moscow with a personal safety guarantee from the same man who guaranteed Prigozhin's safety. Zelensky's response was one of the great lines of this entire war. Meanwhile Russia's online image rehabilitation campaign is in full swing — we read back some 2014 and 2022 quotes and let you decide how that's going.

Operation Vivaldi happened — Ukraine is taking ground back, remotely piloting old armored vehicles loaded with explosives into Russian defensive positions, and the numbers coming out of the Kursk region are significant. Ukraine also hit a McDonald's-linked warehouse in Kyiv, because Russia is running out of things that count as military targets.

F-35 canopy components shipped via UPS ended up in Hong Kong. China has them. Lockheed says they're not important. We have a theory about why you don't reroute a military shipment internationally over something unimportant. Meanwhile DHS made a Brian Dawkins hype video about a migrant caravan of 600 people, got told by the NFL to take it down, and responded with a Bugs Bunny meme. Senator Tommy Tuberville took the Senate floor to warn America about furries in aviation. We are not paraphrasing.

Kristi Noem filed for divorce. Tennessee needed two attempts. Trump signed a "tremendous" Arctic deal that is functionally identical to the one that already existed. And the new US passport reveal got the full Apple keynote treatment.

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This week's "Who Said It" is about controlling a seat even when you're mad at it — and once you hear who said it and which seat they're talking about, it reframes every election story in this episode in a very uncomfortable way.

Tesla is flat but the Semi launch is tonight and diesel prices at record highs mean it might actually matter this time. The Cybercab got a regulatory inquiry within hours of launching and the Roadster demo dropped hints about a flying car — we rank those two developments by how seriously to take them. SpaceX dropped as 328 million shares unlocked today, and we note that Elon has a history of tweeting things right after certain people make certain purchases.

Putin just handed an American company's Russian assets to Kadyrov's nephew — and once you look at who the major shareholders of that American company are, we have a theory about which white knights might finally decide this war needs to end. Marco Rubio remains unavailable for comment.

Netanyahu flew into New York, released a video attacking Mamdani before he even landed, and then had to sit through a UN week where the mayor of New York, a prominent rabbi, and the first Jewish speaker of the city council all told him to mind his business. Mamdani's response was measured, factual, and devastating. DoorDash spent $1.4 million trying to stop him from becoming mayor and just paid $131 million because he did anyway. The math on that decision is something else.

Trump just told Congress the refugee program will admit 17,500 people in 2027 — almost exclusively white South Africans — at $28,571 per person, and we have some questions for everyone who spent the last decade screaming about immigrant kids getting breakfast. The Paul brothers visited the Pentagon, which prompted a comparison to a specific Henry Rollins story that tells you everything about the difference between a visit for the troops and a visit for the content.

Kash Patel quietly changed the FBI hiring disqualifiers and got called into a Senate hearing where John Kennedy of Louisiana asked him to explain the bestiality section. The transcript is real. Lauren Boebert has new allegations involving three staffers, a $200,000 payment, and a detail that will surprise absolutely nobody who has been paying attention. And Chris Hansen has a movie coming out — with a very interesting guest appearance at a live taping that's going to make the tinfoil hat very hard to put back in the closet.

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This week's "Who Said It" is about cheap Russian energy and German manufacturing — and once you find out who said it and why it's making the rounds again right now, the rest of the geopolitical news this week lands very differently.

Tesla is pumping on Roadster hype again — and we have a very specific memory about 2017, a 2020 promise, and a Founder's Series that never materialized. SpaceX ticked up on news that would normally tank a stock, and Gwyneth Shotwell is quietly unloading $52 million in shares. We note the timing. We always note the timing.

Don Jr.'s wedding financier is back in the news, Marco Rubio went on Fox to blame Ukraine for hitting American-linked ships, and on election night in Russia — with over a thousand Ukrainian drones in the air — United Russia somehow posted its best numbers since forever. Kadyrov won Chechnya with 99.85% of the vote, up from 99.7% last time. We are choosing to believe this is statistically possible.

DoorDash just paid New York City $131.5 million for underpaying delivery drivers — $115 million of which goes directly back to the workers — and their statement about it is one of the most refreshing things a corporation has ever said out loud. We then ask the obvious question about every other city they operate in. Meanwhile Trump and Mamdani sat down at Gracie Mansion, came out praising each other, and we have a theory about what's happening there that involves a man who cannot help himself around people who refuse to be intimidated.

CNN, MSNBC, and Politico are banned from the White House — and the ribbon cutting ceremony that followed told you everything about who actually needs who. The official White House app is now on government employee phones, contains code from a company founded in Tula, Russia, and has a button that autofills "Greatest President Ever." One person put it on an air-gapped iPad to see what it asked for. We report the findings.

ICE is quietly firing agents it hired without properly vetting — because when you blow through 12,000 hires with a $50,000 bonus attached, you eventually have to read the applications. Ed Sheeran cried in Philadelphia, which Eric has some thoughts about. And the Raiders are 2-0, which felt like a good segue into something.

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This week's "Who Said It" is about a ruck march, a bridge, and the weight you carry — and once you find out who said it and what they did in the pouring rain the day before, the contrast with everyone else in this episode is going to hit very hard.

Tesla is sliding despite a Roadster 2.0 announcement that should have moved the needle, and SpaceX pulled back after the AI slowdown conversation started getting serious. We have thoughts about a company whose entire valuation depends on a technology that its own industry just asked everyone to pause on.

Don Jr.'s wedding got bankrolled by a Russian oligarch — and we walk through the funfetti cake, the two-island fireworks display, the Pirates of the Caribbean shooting location, and the Pro Publica investigation into a man who apparently didn't exist until 2009. Eric says he's never heard of him. Kushner was in the group photo. The Kushkof team keeps visiting Moscow first. Ukraine just struck two more refineries. We're just noting the timeline.

Record diesel prices have an explanation — and it's not Russia, despite what you may have heard. A Saudi pipeline got hit by a drone from an unexpected direction, a top military commander got fired, and the Houthis have a new range that should make everyone paying attention very uncomfortable. Meanwhile Russia targeted a passenger train two kilometers from the Polish border — and the passenger list on that particular train is something you need to hear.

The 9/11 anniversary coverage was something else this week. Mamdani showed up in the pouring rain, ran the ruck, released 170,000 pages of memos about air quality that every mayor before him sat on, and shook Giuliani's hand — who then went on Newsmax the next day and got right back into character. Ted Cruz had feelings about the sanctity of the occasion. We remember what Ted Cruz was doing on September 11th. Joe Biden stood the entire ceremony with cancer in his bones and then drove to Pennsylvania. The President sent JD to New York and took a nap at the Pentagon. We are done.

Macklemore got dropped from Ed Sheeran's tour for saying two words — and then all four other openers dropped out and posted statements. Robert Kraft has some feelings about "Free Palestine" that we contextualize against some other things Robert Kraft has attended. The AI conversation is escalating in ways that go beyond any one company, and we close with a fact about what happens when two AI systems figure out they're talking to each other.

ProPublica Story
https://www.propublica.org/article/donald-trump-jr-wedding-bankrolled-russian-oligarch-umar-kremlev-putin

AI Chat
https://youtu.be/EtNagNezo8w?si=RdwvSK1-hBWPdnyp

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This week's "Who Said It" is a bold prediction about cars as appreciating assets — and once you hear what happened to the Dutch company that bet their entire business on that prediction, the quote lands exactly as hard as it should.

Tesla is basically flat after the Cybercab launch disappointed everyone who showed up with expectations, but don't worry — they're offering businesses a chance to buy in on the robotaxi dream themselves. We revisit a promise that's been made every year since 2020 and let the audience keep score. SpaceX keeps climbing for reasons nobody can identify, including apparently ARK Invest, who just bought stock in a company that competes directly with SpaceX.

It's marriage week for one of your hosts — congratulations are in order and we promise we kept it moving anyway.

Peace talks are happening, which is to say Kushkof visited Moscow first, listened to Putin's wish list, then swung by Kyiv where the Ukrainian delegation had prepared a very specific gift for them. The Kremlin says it's "too early" to discuss a venue for face-to-face talks, Putin says he has no hostilities toward Europe, and Germany just formally blamed Russia for a drone found at one of their airports with a faulty detonator. Meanwhile the Russian military had a very expensive week in the Kursk region and a Major General who allegedly masterminded a strike on a children's hospital found out that some things follow you regardless of how far from the front line you are.

Mamdani showed up to 9/11 week and the city lost its mind — we walk through who's offended, what they said, what Mamdani actually said back, and what Trump was doing on September 11th 2001 when he got on the phone and noticed something about his real estate portfolio. The video making the rounds about cleanup volunteers gets a fact check.

LG's smart TVs are listening with the screen off, storing everything locally, and uploading it when the internet comes back — and the company president's quote about who actually owns your television is one of the most honest things a corporate executive has ever said on camera. The Republican midterm convention in Dallas is giving away free tickets two days out and Eric is getting married this week, so we note the scheduling conflict and let the audience decide which event history will remember. And Elon's super PAC just entered a Texas race where the opponent is outraising their guy by more than four to one — we explain the ad they're running and why a basketball drag queen is apparently central to the strategy.

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This week's "Who Said It" is about data centers, poverty, and the bold promise that surveillance infrastructure is actually the key to lower taxes — and the person who said it is going to make you feel a very specific way about your electric bill.

Tesla is up and nobody can explain why, which at this point is just the show's opening theme. September is a big month for the company — multiple unveilings, a concept that's been eleven years in the making, and a Roadster spec that almost laps the competition. Almost. SpaceX ticked up while Sam Altman quietly cut off one of Elon's companies from AI access, citing a very specific pattern of behavior with contracts. We have thoughts about who actually wins that fight.

Ukraine declared open season on Russian airspace this week — not civilian carriers, but everything else — and then backed it up by hitting both an oil refinery and a strategic bomber in the same night. The refinery is permanently closed. The bomber is one fewer on a list that intel already says is shorter than Russia claims. Federov is back, partnered up, and the drones are getting smarter by the week.

The Supreme Court voted 5-4 to let the $400 million White House ballroom keep going up while the lawsuit plays out — and Justice Roberts is reportedly still puzzled about why public trust in the court is at historic lows. Uber's COO would like everyone to know that in 15 to 20 years nobody will own a car and we'll all be on a subscription model with his company, which is a very interesting thing for a COO to say out loud. Keffe D was found guilty in the Tupac murder case — a conviction that somehow eluded the previous administration, as we are reminded approximately every 40 seconds.

Mamdani gave parents a free night out and started a 9/11 remembrance ruck for veterans — both of which have been described as deeply alarming by people who are fine with the ballroom. Flock Camera's CEO has a blind spot on Google Maps that covers exactly one address. MapQuest refused to rename Lake Ontario and became the number one downloaded app. And a Buffalo Wild Wings in Phoenix has a secret menu item that we are legally required to tell you about and ethically required to warn you about in equal measure.

And the link to the USA Today search engine

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