In the story of the Angry Man, the Buddha illustrates how to disarm criticism based or anger or rudeness. A young man came to insult the Buddha, but the Buddha did not become angry or insulted. Instead, he calmly asked the man a question: 

"If someone offers you a gift and you decline to accept it, to whom does it belong?". 

The young man replied that the gift would belong to the person who offered it. The Buddha then calmly responded: 

The young man replied that the gift would belong to the person who offered it. The Buddha then calmly responded: 

"And it is exactly the same with your anger. If you become angry with me and I do not get insulted, then the anger falls back on you. You are then the only one who becomes unhappy, not me". 

Although we may be less calm, and might be wise to say nothing, the lesson remains: we don’t have to accept everything that is thrown at us.

Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.

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