The Carin CONFIDENTial

In this bonus episode, we’re talking about something every single one of us will experience but that very few of us seem comfortable talking about: grief.

Over the course of less than two months, I had to say goodbye to my seven-year-old golden retriever, Sonny, and my 13-year-old cat, Chet. Losing them was devastating, but what surprised me was how much I questioned whether I was allowed to be honest about just how devastated I was. When I filmed a video the day after Sonny died, crying and talking openly about what I was experiencing, I almost didn’t post it because one thought kept running through my head: nobody wants to see this.

I posted it anyway, and the response reminded me why vulnerability and connection matter so much. Thousands of people saw themselves in my grief because they were carrying their own.

This episode is about giving ourselves permission to talk about loss, whether we’re grieving a person, a pet, a relationship, an opportunity or the future we thought we were going to have. Grief is part of being human, and maybe we don’t have to hide the hardest parts of it from each other.

💥 Key Takeaways

• Why grief doesn’t always match the hierarchy we try to assign to different kinds of loss
• How losing a pet can create grief that feels every bit as devastating as losing a person
• Why we put pressure on ourselves to be sad, but not “too sad,” and to grieve, but not for “too long”
• How grief can come from losing a person, pet, relationship, opportunity or version of the future you expected to have
• Why life continuing as normal when you feel anything but normal can make grief especially difficult
• How fear of being judged, perceived as attention-seeking or considered “too much” can keep us from talking honestly about loss
• Why vulnerability creates opportunities for connection during some of the loneliest moments of our lives
• How sharing grief can help other people feel less alone in theirs

 🔥 In This Episode, I Talk About:

• Why I unexpectedly came back during my break between seasons to have this conversation
• What happened during Sonny’s final weeks and the heartbreaking decision to say goodbye to him
• Why waking up the morning after losing Sonny reminded me so much of waking up after my dad died
• The video I almost didn’t post because I worried that crying publicly would make people think I was dramatic or looking for attention
• Why the response to that video completely changed the way I thought about sharing grief publicly
• Losing Chet less than two months later and what it was like knowing that goodbye was coming
• Why I think we need to give pet loss the weight and compassion it deserves
• The grief I’ve experienced from other kinds of loss, including the end of my marriage and the future I once thought I would have
• Why being vulnerable about the hardest parts of my life is ultimately about connection, not attention.

If you’re grieving something right now, whatever that loss looks like, I hope this episode reminds you that you don’t have to pretend you’re fine or hide the parts that feel like “too much.” We all experience loss. We all grieve. Maybe one of the ways we make it a little less lonely is by allowing ourselves to talk about it.

Support the show

🎤 About the Podcast
The Carin CONFIDENTial is real talk about real life and better communication.

This is the podcast where I say the things out loud a lot of us have only thought privately - about self-talk, relationships, emotional patterns, people-pleasing, boundaries and what it actually takes to reconnect with yourself.

🔗 Stay Connected

Watch this episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@carinthecommscoach/podcasts

👉 Follow me on Instagram, YouTube, and TikTok: ‪@carinthecommscoach‬
👉 Find me on Facebook and LinkedIn: Carin Campbell Smith 
👉 Join my newsletter at theconsciouscommscoach.com
👉 Interested in booking me for a speaking event or exploring one-on-one coaching? Visit my website and schedule a connection call.

In this episode, we're wrapping up Season One of The Carin CONFIDENTial by talking about something every one of us will face if we decide to grow: change. It sounds exciting until you're actually in the middle of it.

Changing who you are means letting go of patterns that once felt safe, sitting in the discomfort of the unfamiliar and accepting that not everyone will come with you. It can feel lonely, confusing and even a little like you're dissolving into a pile of goo (yes, we're talking about caterpillars - I'm just over here becoming a butterfly, you guys! 😅). 

One more thing...in this episode, my beloved golden boy, Sonny, makes several appearances. A week after this was filmed, we unexpectedly had to say goodbye to him due to a spinal cord issue. He was the sweetest, most loving soul. I dedicate this one to him - for 7.5 years of loyal, unconditional love and the best snuggles. I know he's running free now - chasing all the tennis balls, swimming in all the pools, eating all the treats and getting all the pets. RIP, Sonny Lou - I miss you terribly and my heart will never be the same.

💥 Key Takeaways
-Why personal growth often feels uncomfortable before it feels empowering
-How your brain mistakes familiar patterns for safety, even when they make you miserable
-What it really means to live in the "messy middle" of change
-Why self-awareness alone isn't enough to create lasting growth
-The difference between recognizing your patterns and changing your behavior
-Why your growth can trigger the people around you
-How boundaries help you make peace with people who aren't growing alongside you
-Why creating a life you love starts with choosing yourself first

🔥 In This Episode, I Talk About:
-Why a caterpillar's metamorphosis is the perfect analogy for personal growth
-What the last two years of rebuilding my life have actually felt like behind the scenes
-Why leaving familiar misery for uncertain freedom is so much harder than it sounds
-How learning to embrace the quiet changed my relationship with myself
-The loneliness that can come with outgrowing old relationships and making space for healthier ones
-The self-awareness trap and why simply knowing your patterns isn't enough to change them
-Why some people become uncomfortable when you start evolving
-How to navigate relationships with people who aren't growing at the same pace you are
-What this podcast has really been about all along and what I hope you'll take with you into Season Two.

Support the show

🎤 About the Podcast
The Carin CONFIDENTial is real talk about real life and better communication.

This is the podcast where I say the things out loud a lot of us have only thought privately - about self-talk, relationships, emotional patterns, people-pleasing, boundaries and what it actually takes to reconnect with yourself.

🔗 Stay Connected

Watch this episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@carinthecommscoach/podcasts

👉 Follow me on Instagram, YouTube, and TikTok: ‪@carinthecommscoach‬
👉 Find me on Facebook and LinkedIn: Carin Campbell Smith 
👉 Join my newsletter at theconsciouscommscoach.com
👉 Interested in booking me for a speaking event or exploring one-on-one coaching? Visit my website and schedule a connection call.

In this episode, we’re talking about one of the most exhausting things so many of us do without even realizing it: trying to manage other people's emotions - their moods, reactions, expectations, disappointment, happiness. For years, I believed it was my job to keep everyone around me happy (spoiler alert: it wasn't). 

This is for anyone who's ever found themselves shrinking, overexplaining, walking on eggshells, anticipating someone else’s reactions or otherwise abandoning themselves in an attempt to control the outcome of a situation. Because here's the truth: nothing you say or do can make someone change who isn't ready and willing to. Also, realizing and accepting that it is not your responsibility to manage anyone's emotional landscape but your own might just change your life (it changed mine!)

💥Key Takeaways

• Why trying to manage other people's emotions is really about control, not love
• How people-pleasing often stems from a need to create safety for yourself
  The difference between caring for someone and taking responsibility for them
• Why emotional dependence on other people's moods leaves you constantly disappointed
• How trying to control others disconnects you from yourself
• The role boundaries play in creating genuine emotional safety
• Why growth often means accepting that some people won't like the new version of you
• How letting go of control creates space to finally focus on yourself  

🔥 In This Episode, I Talk About:

• How a preschool teacher's advice to my son Luke unexpectedly became one of the biggest lessons of my adult life 
• The ways I spent decades trying to manage other people's moods, reactions and expectations
• Why I believed being a good wife meant walking on eggshells and anticipating emotions
• How people-pleasing slowly disconnected me from myself and created deep resentment
• The painful realization that I can't "fix" other people - including my own children
• What I misunderstood about boundaries for almost my entire life
• Why trying to change someone else's behavior rarely works - and what to do instead
• How learning to tolerate other people's disappointment transformed my relationships
• The freedom that comes from accepting that some people simply won't like you - and being okay with that  

And if this episode hit home, share it with someone who spends too much time worrying about everyone else. Because one of the healthiest things you can do is exactly what Miss Lisa told four-year-old Luke: worry about yourself.

Support the show

🎤 About the Podcast
The Carin CONFIDENTial is real talk about real life and better communication.

This is the podcast where I say the things out loud a lot of us have only thought privately - about self-talk, relationships, emotional patterns, people-pleasing, boundaries and what it actually takes to reconnect with yourself.

🔗 Stay Connected

Watch this episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@carinthecommscoach/podcasts

👉 Follow me on Instagram, YouTube, and TikTok: ‪@carinthecommscoach‬
👉 Find me on Facebook and LinkedIn: Carin Campbell Smith 
👉 Join my newsletter at theconsciouscommscoach.com
👉 Interested in booking me for a speaking event or exploring one-on-one coaching? Visit my website and schedule a connection call.

n this episode, we’re talking about something that seems to be an epidemic among women—and honestly, a lot of men too: Why is it so damn hard to sit still?

Why do so many of us feel guilty when we rest? Why do we tie our worth to productivity? And why does doing absolutely nothing for 15 minutes feel harder than running around all day doing ALL the things?

Spoiler: If you’re constantly in motion, there’s a good chance you’re running from something - and for most of us, it's big emotions we don't want to feel.

💥 Key Takeaways
- Why so many of us tie our self-worth to productivity and achievement
How constant motion can become a socially acceptable form of emotional avoidance
- The connection between busyness, control, and unresolved feelings
- Why women are often rewarded for overfunctioning—and the cost of that pattern
- How resentment builds when you give everyone else what you never give yourself
- Why self-care has nothing to do with bubble baths and everything to do with self-awareness
- The surprising ways your inability to slow down impacts your communication and relationships
- How learning to sit still can completely change the way you experience your life

🔥 In This Episode, I Talk About:
- How a Lainey Wilson song unexpectedly became the inspiration for this episode 
- Why I spent years feeling worthless anytime I wasn’t being productive
- The cultural conditioning many of us received growing up that linked achievement to worthiness
- How staying busy helped me avoid difficult emotions and uncomfortable truths
- The role control plays in perpetual motion and overfunctioning
- Why so many women become trapped in cycles of doing, giving and resentment
- How a lack of boundaries with yourself creates chaos everywhere else
- What self-care actually means (hint: it’s not face masks and spa days)
- The people who may resist your growth when you start prioritizing yourself
- The unexpected freedom that comes from finally being okay spending time alone.

And if this episode hit home, share it with someone who struggles to relax without feeling guilty.

Because your worth isn't determined by how much you accomplish. Sometimes the most productive thing you can do...is sit still.

Support the show

🎤 About the Podcast
The Carin CONFIDENTial is real talk about real life and better communication.

This is the podcast where I say the things out loud a lot of us have only thought privately - about self-talk, relationships, emotional patterns, people-pleasing, boundaries and what it actually takes to reconnect with yourself.

🔗 Stay Connected

Watch this episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@carinthecommscoach/podcasts

👉 Follow me on Instagram, YouTube, and TikTok: ‪@carinthecommscoach‬
👉 Find me on Facebook and LinkedIn: Carin Campbell Smith 
👉 Join my newsletter at theconsciouscommscoach.com
👉 Interested in booking me for a speaking event or exploring one-on-one coaching? Visit my website and schedule a connection call.

In this episode, I’m talking about something every single one of us has experienced…walking away from a conversation replaying it in our head thinking, “Welllllll that did not go how I planned.” 

As a professional communicator, I wish I could tell you I always nail hard conversations. I absolutely do not.

Sometimes I overexplain. Sometimes I shut down. Sometimes I react emotionally and let the “K” in Carin come all the way out. And afterward? The rumination Olympics begin.

But lately, I’ve found a secret weapon that’s been helping me communicate more intentionally, process emotions more clearly and stop getting trapped in my own internal chaos.

That tool is AI.

💥 Key Takeaways
- Why emotional conversations almost always go sideways when ego takes over
- How overexplaining is often a symptom of needing to feel understood or safe
- The real reason you replay conversations over and over afterward
- Why most communication problems actually start internally before the conversation even happens
- How fear, assumptions and emotional stories shape your tone and energy
- The difference between observable facts and the meaning your brain assigns to them
- Why not every emotional reaction requires a confrontation
- How AI can help you process conversations, identify blind spots and communicate more intentionally
- Why you still have to “be the human” when using AI for communication

🔥 In This Episode, I Talk About:
This one is part communication coaching, part nervous-system reality check and part accidental PSA about turning 49 

- How I mentally rehearse difficult conversations before they happen
- The ways my communication tends to break down when I’m emotional or triggered
- Why my need to be understood used to lead to massive overexplaining
- What rumination after conversations is actually doing to your emotional state
- The role ego plays in failed communication and reactive behavior
- How I separate facts from emotional assumptions before deciding whether a conversation even needs to happen
- The exact way I’ve been using AI as a neutral thinking partner to process situations and prepare for conversations
- Why AI is an incredible tool—but absolutely cannot replace nuance, discernment, or self-awareness
- Details about my first live online workshop teaching people how to use AI to communicate better in real life

More info on my AI workshop here: https://theconsciouscommscoach.com/#section06

Support the show

🎤 About the Podcast
The Carin CONFIDENTial is real talk about real life and better communication.

This is the podcast where I say the things out loud a lot of us have only thought privately - about self-talk, relationships, emotional patterns, people-pleasing, boundaries and what it actually takes to reconnect with yourself.

🔗 Stay Connected

Watch this episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@carinthecommscoach/podcasts

👉 Follow me on Instagram, YouTube, and TikTok: ‪@carinthecommscoach‬
👉 Find me on Facebook and LinkedIn: Carin Campbell Smith 
👉 Join my newsletter at theconsciouscommscoach.com
👉 Interested in booking me for a speaking event or exploring one-on-one coaching? Visit my website and schedule a connection call.

In this episode, we’re talking about the thing I spent most of my life not having…boundaries.

Not fake boundaries, not “you need to change” ultimatums…real boundaries - the kind where you change what you’re willing to tolerate and participate in.

Because here’s the hard truth: if you don’t have boundaries with yourself, you’ll struggle to have them with anyone else.

And if you’re exhausted, resentful, overextended, emotionally reactive and wondering why your communication keeps going sideways…there’s a really good chance boundaries (or lack thereof) are part of the problem.

💥 Key Takeaways
- Why boundaries are about your behavior - not controlling someone else’s
- How people-pleasing quietly destroys self-trust and confidence
- The connection between overfunctioning and resentment
- Why overexplaining is often an attempt to create emotional capacity in someone else
- How fear of disappointing people keeps you disconnected from yourself
- The uncomfortable truth: some people only liked access to you - not you
- Why boundaries feel terrifying at first (especially if you were raised without them)
- How small acts of self-trust build the confidence to hold boundaries with others
- Why boundaries dramatically improve communication and relationships


🔥 In This Episode, I Talk About:
This one is deeply personal because learning boundaries completely changed my life:

- The realization that I thought boundaries meant telling other people what to change
- Why I constantly said yes to things I didn’t actually want to do
- How overfunctioning at work, in relationships, and emotionally drained me for years
- The ways I betrayed myself to avoid conflict and discomfort
- What growing up afraid to disappoint people did to my nervous system and identity
- Why so many women in our generation struggle to say no
- My thoughts on Gen Z, workplace boundaries, and why they might actually be getting this right earlier than we did
- The small shifts that helped me stop abandoning myself and start building confidence
- How boundaries opened space for me to finally know who I actually am.

if this episode hit home, send it to someone who needs permission to stop abandoning themselves.

Because sometimes the most powerful thing you can say…
is “no.”

Support the show

🎤 About the Podcast
The Carin CONFIDENTial is real talk about real life and better communication.

This is the podcast where I say the things out loud a lot of us have only thought privately - about self-talk, relationships, emotional patterns, people-pleasing, boundaries and what it actually takes to reconnect with yourself.

🔗 Stay Connected

Watch this episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@carinthecommscoach/podcasts

👉 Follow me on Instagram, YouTube, and TikTok: ‪@carinthecommscoach‬
👉 Find me on Facebook and LinkedIn: Carin Campbell Smith 
👉 Join my newsletter at theconsciouscommscoach.com
👉 Interested in booking me for a speaking event or exploring one-on-one coaching? Visit my website and schedule a connection call.

In this episode, I’m getting into one of the fastest ways to destroy trust, confidence and connection…when words and actions don’t match.

You’ve experienced it. Someone says all the right things…but nothing actually changes. And over time, it makes you question everything.

This isn’t just about other people. It’s about the ways we do this to ourselves, too...and how that quietly wrecks our confidence and communication.

💥 Key Takeaways
- Why inconsistent behavior is so destabilizing (and hard to walk away from)
- The difference between manipulation and lack of emotional capacity
- How false hope keeps you stuck in cycles that don’t change
- Why breaking promises to yourself quietly destroys your confidence
- How small, everyday decisions create a self-fulfilling identity
- The real reason you don’t follow through (hint: it’s not laziness)
- Why confidence isn’t built through big moments—it’s built through consistency
- How self-trust directly impacts how you show up in every conversation.

🔥 In This Episode, I Talk About:
This one hits from every angle…because I’ve lived all of them:

- What it was like being in a long-term relationship where words and actions didn’t match - and how that eroded trust over time
- The pattern of “I’m sorry, I’ll do better”…followed by just enough change to keep me hopeful
- Why I don’t think it was always intentional - and why that actually matters
- Watching my son struggle with the same pattern and how it impacts his confidence
- The painful reality that I couldn’t fix it for him (and what that forced me to learn)
- The moment I realized…I was doing this to myself too
- All the ways I broke my own trust - big and small - and how that affected how I felt about myself
- What actually started to change things: small, consistent follow-through.

Support the show

🎤 About the Podcast
The Carin CONFIDENTial is real talk about real life and better communication.

This is the podcast where I say the things out loud a lot of us have only thought privately - about self-talk, relationships, emotional patterns, people-pleasing, boundaries and what it actually takes to reconnect with yourself.

🔗 Stay Connected

Watch this episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@carinthecommscoach/podcasts

👉 Follow me on Instagram, YouTube, and TikTok: ‪@carinthecommscoach‬
👉 Find me on Facebook and LinkedIn: Carin Campbell Smith 
👉 Join my newsletter at theconsciouscommscoach.com
👉 Interested in booking me for a speaking event or exploring one-on-one coaching? Visit my website and schedule a connection call.

In this episode, I’m calling out the one thing quietly running your life and wrecking your communication…your inner critic. You know the voice - the one that overthinks everything, replays conversations, tells you you’re not enough and has you reacting in ways that don’t even feel like you.

Spoiler: you’re not reacting to other people nearly as much as you think you are…you’re reacting to what’s happening inside your own head.

💥 Key Takeaways
- Why your inner critic isn’t a flaw - it’s outdated protection
- The subtle ways it hijacks your communication without you realizing it
- Why you’re probably reacting from your thoughts…not the actual situation
- How overthinking, people-pleasing and “matching energy” are all connected
- The uncomfortable truth: you might be creating the situations you’re frustrated by
- Why numbing (scrolling, drinking, overdoing) keeps you stuck
- What it actually looks like to challenge your thoughts in real time
- Why awareness - not perfection - is the goal.

🔥 In This Episode, I Talk About:
- My own inner critic and what it’s told me for years (and yeah…she’s ruthless)
- How it led me into people-pleasing, overfunctioning and resentment
- The patterns I didn’t even realize I was creating in my relationships
- The ways I tried to avoid dealing with it (overexercising, overdoing,
overeverything)
- What finally shifted when I stopped running from it and started sitting with it
- And how learning to challenge that voice changed the way I communicate.

And if this episode hit home, share it with someone who needs to hear it. Because when you change the way you talk to yourself, you change the way you talk to everyone else.

Support the show

🎤 About the Podcast
The Carin CONFIDENTial is real talk about real life and better communication.

This is the podcast where I say the things out loud a lot of us have only thought privately - about self-talk, relationships, emotional patterns, people-pleasing, boundaries and what it actually takes to reconnect with yourself.

🔗 Stay Connected

Watch this episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@carinthecommscoach/podcasts

👉 Follow me on Instagram, YouTube, and TikTok: ‪@carinthecommscoach‬
👉 Find me on Facebook and LinkedIn: Carin Campbell Smith 
👉 Join my newsletter at theconsciouscommscoach.com
👉 Interested in booking me for a speaking event or exploring one-on-one coaching? Visit my website and schedule a connection call.

In this episode, I break down the realization behind my IG video that unexpectedly reached over 1.5 million people and why it hit such a nerve.

What happens when you say the right things, in the right way, at the right time…and it still goes nowhere? Yeah - we’re talking about that.

Spoiler: it’s not always a communication issue. Sometimes, it’s a capacity issue.

💥 Key Takeaways:

• The uncomfortable truth about why some conversations never get resolved
• Why calling someone out can feel good in the moment - but changes absolutely nothing
• The difference between a communication breakdown and a lack of emotional capacity
• Why expecting people to show up like you do will keep you stuck (ask me how I know 🙃)
• What healthy communication actually requires from both people
• Why “just say it better” is not the solution in certain relationships
• The role of boundaries when capacity isn’t there
• How protecting your peace can feel wrong…but be exactly right

🔥 In This Episode, I Talk About My Real-Life Experience With:

• Co-parenting challenges
• Repeated patterns that don’t change
• The urge to call things out (with receipts 😅)
• And the brutal realization that sometimes…saying nothing is actually growth 
  (Not silence out of fear - silence out of awareness.)

If this episode hit home, share it with someone who might need it. Because when you understand yourself…people can finally understand you.

Support the show

🎤 About the Podcast
The Carin CONFIDENTial is real talk about real life and better communication.

This is the podcast where I say the things out loud a lot of us have only thought privately - about self-talk, relationships, emotional patterns, people-pleasing, boundaries and what it actually takes to reconnect with yourself.

🔗 Stay Connected

Watch this episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@carinthecommscoach/podcasts

👉 Follow me on Instagram, YouTube, and TikTok: ‪@carinthecommscoach‬
👉 Find me on Facebook and LinkedIn: Carin Campbell Smith 
👉 Join my newsletter at theconsciouscommscoach.com
👉 Interested in booking me for a speaking event or exploring one-on-one coaching? Visit my website and schedule a connection call.

Garden hose water, feral childhoods and the emotional patterns we’re still dragging around.

In Episode 2 of The Carin CONFIDENTial, I’m talking about what growing up in the 80s and 90s did to a lot of us - and no, I’m not just talking about the hot hose water, feral summers, metal playground equipment, and random parties in the woods...I’m talking about the emotional stuff.

The way many of us were raised by parents who didn’t talk about feelings because their parents didn’t either. The way kids were expected to be obedient, quiet and tough. The way our opinions mattered less, our emotions were inconvenient and “go to your room” was basically emotional processing.

This episode is funny, nostalgic, a little unhinged and also very real. I’m unpacking how childhood experiences - from spanking and silence to mean girl dynamics and feeling unseen - can shape how we show up as adults in relationships, work and communication.

If you’ve ever wondered why you people-please, stay quiet in rooms where you should speak up or feel enraged when someone tries to bully you, this one might explain a few things.

🔑 Key Takeaways

• Growing up in the 80s and 90s was wild… and it left marks.
• Many of us were raised to suppress feelings, not process them.
• Childhood experiences shape adult communication patterns more than we realize.
• People-pleasing, silence, resentment and self-abandonment often point back to childhood experiences.
• If your voice didn’t feel important as a kid, that often shows up in adulthood.
• Familiar doesn’t always mean healthy.
• Conscious communication starts by noticing what triggers you and why.
  
  

💬 In This Episode, I Talk About:

• Surviving dangerously unsupervised childhoods
• Growing up with strict discipline, spanking, silence and emotional suppression
• How middle school and high school girl dynamics leave lasting wounds
• Why childhood conditioning can create adult patterns like people-pleasing and self-doubt
• How disconnection from yourself impacts relationships, leadership and communication
• What it means to choose a different response instead of reacting on autopilot
• Why “what’s familiar” can keep you stuck in things that aren’t meant for you.

Support the show

🎤 About the Podcast
The Carin CONFIDENTial is real talk about real life and better communication.

This is the podcast where I say the things out loud a lot of us have only thought privately - about self-talk, relationships, emotional patterns, people-pleasing, boundaries and what it actually takes to reconnect with yourself.

🔗 Stay Connected

Watch this episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@carinthecommscoach/podcasts

👉 Follow me on Instagram, YouTube, and TikTok: ‪@carinthecommscoach‬
👉 Find me on Facebook and LinkedIn: Carin Campbell Smith 
👉 Join my newsletter at theconsciouscommscoach.com
👉 Interested in booking me for a speaking event or exploring one-on-one coaching? Visit my website and schedule a connection call.