He was a successful trial lawyer, fighting every day in the courtroom and climbing the ladder of prestige, until God spoke two simple words to him: “Just leave.” God also spoke to his wife as well!

In this episode of The Catholic Gentleman, John Heinen sits down with Mike Pacer to uncover the No. 1 lesson every husband needs to hear. From leaving behind worldly success, to praying daily for his wife, to finding strength in weakness, Mike shares the raw story of how a man becomes more than a provider.

His lived experience is a lesson for us all. And it will change the way you listen to God, the way you love your wife, and the way you lead your family.

Find Out More from Mike Pacer

Books by Mike Pacer

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When words don’t work, agreements seem impossible, and distance grows, there are practices every man can begin today, hidden ways that rebuild trust, create clarity, and change the way you lead in every relationship. In this episode of The Catholic Gentleman, John and Devin reveal four hidden ways to win your wife’s heart every time. These principles apply to friendships, family, and work, but they work best where it matters most: in your marriage.

They’re not gimmicks or tricks, but the kind of invisible leadership Christ Himself modeled. They never teach this… but it works.

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Many husbands confuse authority with control, and it’s slowly killing trust in their marriages. In this episode, John Heinen and Devin Schadt unpack why your wife resists your leadership, how control is a counterfeit of true authority, and why authority, rightly lived, is a God-given responsibility that blesses and gives life. You’ll hear practical examples of the appropriate use of authority versus control over your spouse in spiritual life, finances, and parenting, along with the deeper fears that drive men to dominate or withdraw. Most importantly, you’ll learn how to lead with sacrificial love, preserve your wife’s dignity and free will, and rebuild trust even when your leadership has been rejected.

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Today, John and Sam are excited to announce a new host to our show, Devin Schadt. He will be joining us weekly to answer the tough questions that men face and add to the depth of knowledge and discussion. This week we talk about warning signs that your wife is not feeling loved. We open up about what we have each learned about truly loving our wives and the many ways that we have failed. We then go into the importance of this topic and how by understanding the nature of women, we can be the husbands they need and the husband God is calling us to be. 

Finally, each week we are going to answer one of your questions during the podcast. This week we have a question from a father about how to be present to his kids after a long and exhausting day at work. If you have any questions, please, record yourself on your phone and send us the audio clip to ⁠[email protected]⁠. Or just send us your question and we will read it on air. 

Warning Signs - https://catholicgentleman.com/2023/01/your-wife-doesnt-feel-loved-8-warning-signs

Watch all 1h 40mins of episode 130 on Catholic Gentleman Plus: https://catholicgentlemanplus.com

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Many men think staying in the marriage is enough. They don't cheat, they provide, they avoid conflict, but is this all there is to marriage? In this episode, John Heinen and Devin Schadt expose the silent drift that leads so many marriages to die long before anyone leaves.

They unpack what 73% of divorcing couples identify as the root issue, and redefine it in light of Scripture, covenant commitment, and the honest purpose of marriage. The conversation dives deep into what it truly means to lead, to suffer with, and to sanctify through your vocation as a husband.

If your marriage feels stunted, strained, or disconnected, let's discuss how marriage can be your ultimate glory.

Join Catholic Gentleman+ for exclusive access to 29 sessions on marriage, fatherhood, prayer, and spiritual warfare:
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What do you do when every conversation with your wife seems to go sideways, even when you're trying to do the right thing? John Heinen and Devin Schadt sit down to expose the hidden habits that slowly destroy communication within marriages. With spiritual clarity and lived experience, they unpack how small patterns, like avoidance, assumptions, or rushed “fixes/hacks", can consistently unravel trust between husband and wife.

Instead of playing defense, this episode shows men 5 ways to take responsibility for the tone, clarity, and direction of the most important conversations in their home. We discuss how resentment breeds in the silent darkness of unmet needs. Because a Catholic husband doesn’t just talk, he leads. And that starts with the next conversation.

QUESTION FOR US: We love to answer your questions on the show so send them our way to ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

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What if the biggest threat to your family isn’t outside your home? John Heinen sits down with Andrew Laubacher, musician, speaker, and Executive Director of Humanality, to expose how your smartphone has been reshaping your attention, your memory, and your children’s brains. With billions of dollars behind it, Big Tech wasn’t designed to serve you and your family. It was built to capture your time, shape your habits, and replace real relationships with curated digital ones. In addition to helping you protect your family from these devices, we also discuss how to protect them from your own temptations (distraction, pornography, passivity, and escape).

Instead of giving in, Andrew offers a path to reclaim attention, rebuild you and your home’s culture, and start living again. From flip phones and dopamine detoxes to tech-free dinners and digital plans of life, this episode challenges every man to lead his family out of this trap and into reality.

Explore Andrew’s mission – https://www.humanality.org

QUESTION FOR US: We love to answer your questions on the show so send them our way to ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

🔴 Join us inside of Catholic Gentleman Plus – 29 SESSIONS AVAILABLE

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Why are 85% of Catholic children walking away from the Faith, even after years of weekly Mass, sacraments, and for many, Catholic school and youth group? John Heinen sits down with Devin Schadt to expose what parents today have been missing and why the solution is found inside the home. With wisdom drawn from recent studies, Church teaching, and personal experience, they reveal the one secret that thriving Catholic families have that others miss entirely. These families do not have children leaving the Faith when they go off to college, and actually, the reverse is happening.

Instead of just doing more religious practices, this episode invites men to build something deeper: a Catholic family culture rooted in warmth, tenderness, and order. Devin and John break down how your family’s core values, a family personality, and devotional life can become the shield that protects your children from spiritual collapse. And they share practical steps, beginning with one conversation with your wife that needs to happen immediately.

QUESTION FOR US: We love to answer your questions on the show so send them our way to ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

🔴 Join us inside of Catholic Gentleman Plus – 29 SESSIONS AVAILABLE

Enjoy 29 unique sessions for men, access exclusive weekly content, ebooks, guest series, and our live Q and A at Catholic Gentleman Plus: https://catholicgentlemanplus.com

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What happens when your wife begins to pull away, and you can't figure out why? What's more is that everything you do to help fix the situation seems to fall short. John Heinen and Devin Schadt discuss the hidden physical, spiritual, and emotional forces that quietly fracture Catholic marriages. Drawing on Scripture, theology, and hard-won experience, they reveal how isolation, resentment, and the demons can slowly unravel trust and intimacy.

Instead of ignoring the drift, they unpack five subtle dynamics that sabotage unity and show how to reclaim authentic headship rooted in sacrifice, courage, and clarity. If you’ve felt the distance and wondered how to bridge it, this conversation will equip you to lead with confidence and rediscover the peace, trust, and communion God intends for your marriage.

QUESTION FOR US: We love to answer your questions on the show so send them our way to ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

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What if the most important spiritual formation in your child’s life isn’t happening at church—but at your dinner table? Today, John Heinen and Devin Schadt discuss how family dinner has quietly lost its soul—and how fathers must bring it back, not just as a routine, but as a call and obligation. The culture has shaped the dinner table into what we commonly see today on TV. It is failing at its core mission to be a cornerstone of a thriving family.

This isn’t about Pinterest-perfect meals or polite conversation. It’s about forming identity, memory, and virtue in the chaos of real life. John and Devin share how their own families bring structure and meaning to mealtime—from the nightly “Good Thing, Difficult Thing, Random Thing” ritual to coaching kids through cleanup as a form of love and responsibility.

Books for the Journey: LEAD – ⁠⁠https://shop.stewardshipmission.com/products/lead-daily-devontions-for-every-man

QUESTION FOR US: We love to answer your questions on the show so send them our way to ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

🔴 CATHOLIC GENTLEMAN PLUS – 27 SESSIONS AVAILABLE Enjoy 27 unique sessions for men, access exclusive weekly content, ebooks, guest series, and our live Q and A at Catholic Gentleman Plus: https://catholicgentlemanplus.com

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