The Changed Podcast with Aden Nepom

In this episode, playwright Adrienne Dawes shares her thoughts on the relationship between stagecraft and change, and the specific role of comedy and satire in giving people an opportunity to reflect. She also shares her own journey of paying attention to red flags and then doing something about them which has led her to the program she is currently completing.

Adrienne Dawes is a playwright, producer, and teaching artist from Austin, TX, currently completing a graduate fellowship at the University of Arkansas.

Her plays include This B***h, Hairy & Sherri, Teen Dad, and her play Am I White won the David Mark Cohen New Play Award from the Austin Critics Table and an award for Outstanding Original Script by the B. Iden Payne Awards.

Adrienne’s full-length plays have been produced by Salvage Vanguard Theater (Austin, TX), Sacred Fools (Los Angeles, CA), and American Theatre Company (Tulsa, OK). She has developed new work with Teatro Vivo, Salt Lake Acting Company, The Workshop Theater, Queen City New Play Initiative, the Fire This Time Festival, B Street Theatre, Stages Repertory Theatre, Teatro Milagro, National Black Theatre, and English Theatre Berlin. Adrienne is a member of the Dramatists Guild, ScriptWorks, and a company member of Salvage Vanguard Theater and In the Margin Theatre Company.

Learn more at www.adriennedawes.com

What's in this episode?

• Thoughts about the role of satire, comedy, and theatre in general in societal shift and personal change
• How working with/studying with fantastic people can make or break your experience at school, at work, and in the rest of your endeavors
• The enticing nature of stability and routine
• Her story of noticing the red flags of a program she was excited about, and choosing to take action rather than align herself with an organization that she thought was treating it's people poorly
• An invitation to leaders (and people in general really), that if you're going to ask people questions, listen to their answers and then do something with what you learn!

A few things Adrienne said that stood out

"You can plant this little seed in somebody. When they've opened up, and they're a little more vulnerable to that conversation, I think a lot of the work is just planting that little seed of change"

"There's this essential part of who I am as a human that stays the same, no matter what my location is, or what I'm doing. And my friends, too, there's a quality to the people that I am drawn to that are in my closest circle that kind of stays the same, even though they're wildly different people."

"Financially, the smart decision would have been to just shut my mouth, take their money, and, and suffer. Financially, that would have been smart, but in terms of my happiness, the route was to get out"

"As I get older, more experienced, I'm just sort of like, I have a shorter timeframe of like, 'Yes, I want to try to give people a chance to course-correct.' But also, like there's a window of that before it's excessive and it's...

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Margery Arnold is co-host of the Positive Thinpact Podcast. In this episode, she discusses her health, the challenges of having co-morbidities for Covid, and how losing her mother at the age of 24 was either a devastating end to life as she knew it, a challenging beginning to live as she is... or both.

If you're not familiar with the Positive Thinpact Podcast, this was a project that Margery and I started in 2019. She had a wild idea, that perhaps one could hold on to the excitement of learning the rules of a new fad-diet as a way of gaming the brain to avoid the moment of self-sabotage that inevitably comes after a few weeks on a stringent eating plan. What better way to catalog such a journey than on a podcast?!

At the time, her goal was to lose 250lbs.

Now as wild as this idea was, she wanted to start the project, not with a doctor, dietician, or natural health expert at her side... but instead with me a friend and facilitator with a background in improv and play.

Margery and I have been friends for nearly 15 years... if our friendship was a person, it would be a teenager! I suppose that means that our friendship is filled with honest opinions and unreasonable confidence in wild ideas being worth some attention.

I've heard many stories about her mom over the years, we used to meet up and share a piece of cheesecake to commemorate her mother's life on the anniversary of what would have been her birthday.

But hearing her story in the context of this interview, gave me a new perspective on my friend's experience. It also allowed me an opportunity to reflect on grief, the impact of losing a loved one, and more.

What you'll hear in this episode:

• For listeners of Positive Thinpact, there is a long-overdue update about how Margery's journey has been going (or had been going at the time of this interview's recording, in the spring of 2021)
• How to handle your opinions about other people's weight gain, weight loss, and other body changes
• The invisibility of being fat
• Thoughts on choosing to take medication to lose weight, in light of the dangers of covid for those who have health and weight issues
• The status of the Positive Thinpact Podcast
• How someone who is analytical by nature, and well-practiced at studying data and recognizing patterns, processes change.
• A discussion of the human ability to predict the future, and the accuracy of predictions
• The importance of pattern recognition
• The pivotal experience of losing her mother to inflammatory breast cancer following standard hormone therapy for menopause
• The impact of having cared for a dying parent as a person in her early 20s
• An acknowledgment of how individuals grieve differently and a few suggestions for those who know someone currently grieving
• The key idea when you lose a parent young, you end up living two lives: the one when they are still alive, and the one in which they no longer exist.
• How life might have turned out differently, better in some ways, worse in some ways, had mom survived

A few links to check out:

The book Margery referenced is called Motherless Daughters: The...

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In episode 43 of The Changed Podcast, intentional living coach Julia de'Caneva shares why she is so highly attuned to the fact that our lives are short and rarely end at an expected and anticipated moment.

Julia de'Caneva (dee-kuh-nay-vuh) is an intentional living coach with an insatiable curiosity for human behavior and a penchant for sweet potatoes and sunsets. She brings the lessons she learned from cancer to help over-workers and perfectionists slow down and find balance by clarifying what truly matters to them.

She fell in love with intentional living while working as a professional home organizer, and now one of her three pillars of coaching is the process of internal decluttering which she calls intentionalism.

You can find her musing about intentional living on her blog, and she'll encourage you to find moments of ease in each day if you follow her on Instagram.

When not coaching, Julia devours books and podcasts, takes many photos of flowers on her daily walks, and is improving her handle of the Japanese language. She hopes that everyone will slow down and learn to treat life as precious as it is.

What's in this episode?

• What it means to live intentionally
• The value of slowness and really enjoying each and every day as the beautiful and fleeting gift it is
• Two of Julia's transformational pivot points in her journey with cancer
• A reminder that the severity of a situation is often more obvious to those around us than to ourselves
• A discussion of the illusion of safety and longevity. In other words, we so often tend to obsess over creating safety or stability for ourselves and our loved ones, but it is impossible to predict whether or not we'll be successful where there is still randomness in the universe. We could get hit by a bus at any time.
• The importance of caring for and listening to our bodies to make the most of the precious moments we do have.

Additional reading

Interested in decluttering your physical space? Check out The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo

Interested in decluttering your brain at work? I'm starting this book this week, feel free to join me! Noise: a Flaw in Human Judgenment by Daniel Kahneman, Olivier Sibony, et al.

Julia de'Caneva's Blog: https://julia.coach/blog

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In Episode 42 of The Changed Podcast, Philippe Barbe reminds us of our adaptability as humans, and that we don't have to work as hard as we might think to experience profound change.Who is Philippe Barbe?

Philippe is a leader, expert, and trusted advisor in data science, AI, and mathematics with a wide range of experiences in the business industry, government, and research internationally. He is the author of five books and many scientific papers and has been an invited professor at numerous universities worldwide, including Yale and Georgia Tech here in the US. He is the mastermind at Last Ditch Consulting

When a mutual connection Ken Ferguson, heard that I hosted this podcast, he immediately said, "I know someone you'd probably find interesting." He was right.

This conversation was one of the most philosophically stimulating interviews I've done to date. We wove through philosophies, observations, both big picture and detailed, with great ease. AND I believe I learned a few things too!

There are a few things that are different about this episode than the interviews I've shared with other guests. First, though he's certainly not my only guest originally born outside the US, Philippe's origins in France, and 20 years as a citizen here have yielded some different perspectives about how we interact, how we handle conflict, and so on.

Another difference, when I asked for a recent headshot, he originally provided an image from a textbook... which actually, I seriously considered using!

Finally, instead of sharing one singular moment, Philippe takes us through several fork-in-the-road moments that he has witnessed, experienced, and been changed by to illustrate the profoundly constant nature of changes both big and small in our lives.

Note: this episode benefits from subtitles. I recommend you either download the transcript or watch the video with subtitles on our Patreon page, which for this episode is absolutely free for the public. Philippe requested to conduct this as an audio-only interview, so you'll be able to enjoy the subtitles distraction-free.

What will you find in this episode?

• Philippe Barbe's unique approach to solving impossible or novel problems and why he founded Last Ditch Consulting
• The importance of providing value to the clients you serve
• The job of a researcher and the importance of proof in mathematics
• The difficulty of proof in the math of social interaction
• A minor history lesson in the philosophy of change
• A deep discussion on whether or not change is easy, or change is hard
• Our thoughts on why people seem to refuse to acknowledge obvious changes, like aging
• A few snapshots from Philippe's passage through life and how these changes have changed him
• One deeper dive into the moment when his house got running water
• A discussion of the relationship between change and difficulty
• You're right to change, on your own terms. Not to change just for the sake of changing, but to think about change in terms of bettering the world we live in.

Want to connect with Philippe?

You can learn more about Philippe at https://ph-barbe.com

Check out Last Ditch Consulting at: www.lastditchconsulting.com

And if you’d like to connect with him, the best place to do so is on...

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Kendrick Shope shares her thoughts on trusting your intuition, finding your zone of genius, and the little forks that leads to the big forks in life, in episode 41 of The Changed Podcast.

Kendrick Shope is an international sales authority, creator of the Authentic Selling®️ process, and the founder of Authentic Selling®️ University, the leading online sales training for modern businesses producing millions of dollars in revenue for her students. Often called the most over-delivering woman online, Kendrick believes in doing business differently, providing her students with Rocky Balboa’s drive and Olivia Pope’s determination to succeed.

Kendrick hosts Authentic Selling® TV reaching 186 countries and 6 continents where she provides sales expertise that is sweet as pie but tough as nails. Authentic Selling®️ has been featured on the Steve Harvey Show, NBC, Forbes, INC, Reader’s Digest, HLN, and dozens more.

We had a fantastic conversation in December of 2020, where we bonded over the shared experience of having what I call 'hits' and what she calls 'breadcrumbs' that feel like teeny premonitions or signposts from the Universe. We also chatted about how the little forks in life lead to the bigger forks, like the example from season 1, episode 7 of Sony Pictures Animation, Guillermo Torres, sharing the story of choosing to go to a different movie theatre than usual... which essentially launched him on his career path.

Like me, her daughter has played a prominent role in her story. As Kendrick observed, 'children can be great teachers."

Takeaways from this episode:

Sales are fundamental to survival in business. But when selling feels like helping, it's a heck of a lot easier to do it!

Shopping is not a hobby.

Children are good reflections for us on how WE manage change, AND they change how we see the world.

Every day there is a fork in the road. We are constantly choosing something, a path, an action, starting something new, stopping something old... some are small forks, and some are big forks

Not everything will be in your particular zone of genius. Rather than do everything yourself, it is wise to surround yourself with the people who have the skills you lack.

One hot tip for those who are still learning about working from home: create for yourself a specific workspace and a specific work time... and stick to those boundaries.

Links to things mentioned

Curious about Authentic Selling®️ University? Learn more at www.kendrickshope.com

Curious about USS Improvise The Next Generation the Musical? (I know it was a brief mention... but it's just so nerdy and fun!) Learn more at www.ussimprovise.com

Are you figuring out your own path? Try this book, mentioned in Kendrick's journey, Finding Your Own North Star by Martha Beck

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Julie Gillis a consultant, story coach, speaker, and facilitator, shares her thoughts, in episode 40 of the Changed, on how we tell ourselves stories about the world and our role in it, along with the pivotal experience of finding herself after battling postpartum psychosis.

Julie Gillis is one of those people who is that lovely combo of funny and pensive. She's deeply reflective, unafraid of being honest in her expression, and absolutely ready to laugh and play too!

It's also true that my knowledge of Julie Gillis is personal.

Not only does this episode's guest reside in this podcast hosts home town. But Julie and I used to perform together in an all-lady, broadway-style musical improv group called Girls Girls Girls and produced a festival (though Julie was MUCH more involved called L.A.F.F. otherwise known as the Ladies Are Funny Festival (enjoy the legacy website here!)

We also played together in incredible shows, like Apocalypse (directed Brandon Salinas, and costumed by Courtney Hopkins).

(If you watch this old promo video, we suggest you watch full-screen with sound ON.)

So it was a delight to sit down in January of 2021, just 3 days into the new year, to reflect not only on change broadly but on how 2020 changed some of the key elements of Julie's life.

Now that summer has arrived in the US, you may have forgotten what the world was like in January of 2021.

Here in Oregon where Julie and I both reside, while shopping was open, most businesses were closed, unless they provided curbside pickup, and masks were required 100% of the time. Schools were closed, and our children were learning from a distance (something fun and easy for our 8-year-old, and something deeply difficult for her young adult children). There was no promise of freedom and no end in sight.

And in this climate, we were able to connect over Zoom and philosophize for a while about how the stories we as people tell ourselves about ourselves... may have shifted.

Julie also shared the story of how improv helped to lift her back up to herself, when she was at one of her lowest points as a mother experiencing postpartum psychosis, one of the least talked about maternal experiences in this country... and one of great importance because of the consequences that can stem from the condition. As Julie confessed, "the idea of hurting myself became rather entertaining," and this kind of flawed thinking can lead not just to self-harm. When lines between reality and darkness become blurry, help is needed.

As a deep believer in the importance of building more understanding and interest in women's health, particularly hormone changes, I'm always glad to hear stories that stem from this place; like the story guest, Maraya Brown shared at the beginning of season two, in which she had to process the unexpected loss of her first pregnancy.

Takeaways from this episode

In the stories, we consume there are multiple roles people play: villain, support character, window character…. a really important tree. But in the stories we tell, we often imagine ourselves the hero (sometimes a reluctant hero) of our own story.

There are times when being the hero of your own story can be really beneficial, like helping to boost your confidence for a job interview for example.

On social media, it’s easy to convince ourselves we’re the...

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In episode 39 of The Changed Podcast, author of Visualeadership, Todd Cherches, and host Aden Nepom discuss the importance of visual communication, listening in leadership, and being willing to 'go back into the room' to see what you might learn.

Todd is the CEO and co-founder of BigBlueGumball, a New York City-based management consulting firm specializing in leadership development, public speaking, and executive coaching.

He is also a Founding Partner of the Global Institute For Thought Leadership (“GIFT”), and a member of the exclusive “Marshall Goldsmith “MG100” Coaches.” 

Additionally, Todd is a three-time award-winning Adjunct Professor of leadership at NYU, and a Lecturer on leadership at Columbia University…

And he is a TEDx speaker, and the author of "VisuaLeadership: Leveraging the Power of Visual Thinking in Leadership and in Life," published last year by Post Hill Press/Simon & Schuster, and recently named by Thinkers360 as one of the “Top 50 Business Books to Read in 2021.”

Takeaways from this episode

• How we process change differs depending on whether it’s some change we are choosing to initiate, or if it’s a change that is being thrust upon us.
• Leading change in an organization can be hard because we’re asking people to adopt and adapt to things they aren’t initiating for themselves. As leaders, we can help people adapt more quickly by leading with understanding and empathy
• There are lots of terrible leaders out there, who have no idea they are leading badly.
• Our personal lens of the world (influenced by our upbringing, values, experiences, etc) influence how we lead.
• A helpful mantra for leaders: “How do I get them to see what I am saying?”
• We can think of our visual thinking and communication like any muscle we can strengthen. It just takes training and practice
• In his book, VisuaLeadership, Todd Cherches breaks down visual thinking and communication into four categories:
• Visual drawings and objects
• Mental models and frameworks
• metaphor and analogy
• storytelling
• With any type of communication, it is helpful to see your audience's needs and issues first and then speak directly to those.
• When it comes to listening everyone thinks they are a good listener, but if you’re distracted and not listening fully you’re really doing a disservice as a leader, not just to your people, but to you and your organization.
• 360-degree awareness as a listener is mission-critical to military tactical operations, self-defense, improv theatre, and great leadership
• When Todd teaches listening he helps people understand the 5 levels of listening
• Level 1 = ignoring
• Level 2 = pretending (nodding as if you’re listening.. while actually ignoring)
• Level 3 = listening to respond (filtering for keywords while formulating what you want to say)
• Level 4 = attentive and actually taking information
• Level 5 – empathetic listening (this is the level of listening that leaders should be striving...
  
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In episode 38 of The Changed Podcast, guest Lupe Hernández from the Beyond Trauma program at Adelante Mujeres discusses inner strength, forgiveness, and what it takes to heal and to support healing from trauma.

Lupe Hernández is an international trainer in healing trauma and deep understanding in ACEs. She co-founded “Help-Restore-Transform”, a program that works to address educational barriers and improve self-worth among women and children in Mexico; and brings over two decades of experience leading people to heal from trauma. She is trained in Conflict Resolution, Mediation, and Restorative Justice, and leadership and is a provider of the Beyond Trauma program in Adelante Mujeres. She is also the mother of two wonderful sons (Ivan & Izaak).

If you live outside of Oregon, it's possible that you have not heard of Adelante Mujeres. Based in Forest Grove, Oregon, they now serve an international audience by providing(as they state on their website) "holistic education and empowerment opportunities to low income Latina women and their families to ensure full participation and active leadership in the community."

Like our first season guest Nadine Montaghami, Lupe's experiences healing from her past has given her empathy and depth as a support provider and trainer with the Beyond Trauma program, and she shared quite a few of her insights through the course of our conversation.

She also shared a story from a job she held earlier in her life where by all accounts she was saddled with a boss from hell and not a lot of options. The way she handled that situation was surprising and beautiful, and incredibly effective.

Lupe Hernández's story illustrates that you really can influence someone's behavior by how you choose to interact with them. At the Art of Change, we often talk about the role of belief in how we experience those around us. If you believe someone is an idiot, you treat them like an idiot. You say things like "I'll talk slow so you call follow along." And when they look at you confused, you see their face as proof that they can't follow... and you're left going "See...? What an idiot!"

The same is true when you assume the opposite to be true. If you think that someone is brilliant, you're likely to behave as though their words matter. You'll pay closer attention to what they say, and then when in all of the words they choose, you hear a sentence you like, you'll nod your head emphatically and say "Wow! Brilliant!"

Truth aside... (because let's not forget that reality does actually live somewhere in the mix), both in our negative assumptions and our positive ones we find proof that we're right and these biases are unconscious in nature. So if you're going to be right about something why not make the conscious choice and assume something useful?

In Lupe's story though, she didn't make a different assumption about her horrible boss, instead, she chose to act as if. This is a really powerful tool! In behaving toward her boss *as if* her boss was friendly, kind, and thoughtful, she actually managed to change the nature of their interactions so much that the boss actually began to resemble those positive qualities!

Takeaways from this episode

In addition to this powerful story of change, there were some good pieces of wisdom for those healing from trauma and those supporting those on a healing journey.

• Trauma is subjective. What one person experiences as deeply scarring...
  
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Creator of Brave Bots, Joy Bots, and Love Bots & co-founder of On Your Feet Improv For Business - Episode 37 of The Changed Podcast features the creative, generous and playful Gary Hirsch!

Gary Hirsch is a visual artist, a facilitator & consultant, and an improviser. In this episode, we talked about how he came to co-found On Your Feet Improvisation for Business, spread joy through BotJoy, along with his feelings, stories, and thoughts about what it means to face and embrace change.

Gary is also my friend, and colleague through the work we do together at On Your Feet. A work relationship that was born, built, and continues to evolve in a completely improvisational way, something for which I am grateful. Perhaps that's the kind of magic that happens when you're open to the possibilities at the moment... or perhaps the simple magic of doing work that is centered on bringing joy to people.

Gary isn't the first play/joy-centered guest I've had on the show. You may recall conversations with Gary Ware, Jeff Harry, Shannon Stott, Marsha Shandur, and many more. That is because JOY is at the center of so much of my own time, energy, interest, and effort.

Our conversation ran through several twists and turns from the hustle language of LinkedIn and classic anti-motivational posters like this one to the roots of bringing more joy to people through the amazing power of an imaginary giant robot, now embodied in tiny bots that you can carry with you physically.

Gary also shared his own sense of AA (Anticipation Anxiety) when it comes to change which lives in contrast to how he might handle an actually massive shift once it has occurred.

He also told us the story of the cup of coffee which changed Gary's entire trajectory, featuring the inspiring Robert Poynton. Prior to meeting Robert, Gary had a successful T-shirt booth in the Portland Saturday Market where he sold t-shirts that featured his original art. Now, more than 20 years later, On Your Feet has served some of the biggest companies in the world by bringing less fear and more joy to their important work.

Instead of my usual closing thoughts for this episode, Gary and I ended the episode together with a game/tool that you can take and use called Color/Advance. We demonstrated how to use the game for sharing stories. For "color" on other ways to use the game, check out the OYF Distributed Work Tool Kit.

Takeaways from this conversation

• Give away amazing ideas. The way Gary encourages to “steal this idea” of making Joybots, can be an amazingly fulfilling choice and make room for more great ideas.
• Anticipating change can be much scarier than the actual change itself, much like making a decision can be more exhausting than simply executing the choice on the other side.
• I’ve been attributing storytelling as a way of examining meaning to Gary because he is who I learned the idea from. He learned the idea from Kat Koppet… which if you know her makes perfect sense! She also has an excellent podcast called Dare to Be Human and it is worth checking
  
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KPTV FOX 12 reporter and meteorologist Brian MacMillan sits down in episode 36 of The Changed Podcast to talk about everything from kitchen appliances to flexibility & predicting the future, along with his reflections on how his life has been affected by losing his best friend: his dad.

Brian MacMillan is an AP award-winning meteorologist and reporter for KPTV FOX 12 in Portland, OR. He's also a world-traveled improv and theatre performer and an all-around nice human being! His experience as an improviser shows up in his reporting in more ways than one. Of course, as a reporter, he is constantly faced with change and a need to be flexible. There is a lot of uncertainty involved in keeping tabs on our busy modern lives! But improv shows up for him in some pretty silly ways too...

Our main areas of discussion centered around whether or not food processors are scary or kitchen miracles, how weather forecasters deal with predicting an ever-changing future, and the role of improv in Brian's life.

We also discussed loss. Brian lost his father in high school and this affected the trajectory of his life and career in very specific ways.

Takeaways from this conversation

• Food processors can be scary! BUT sometimes you have to face your fears and take a few risks to reap rewards
• Meteorologists use both monitors and green screens
• Three days out for a weather forecast is fairly solid. Farther out (like a 10-day forecast) is a lot less consistent... BUT meteorology isn't a perfected science yet
• Listening to your local forecaster will yield better predictions because experience will often carry more weather wisdom than the forecasting models that just come from data sets.
• When it comes to change, even the painful experiences in our lives can lead to tremendously good outcomes. That may not be of comfort in the moment, but it can be quite interesting to look back later and see the path to your present moment
• Improv and theatre are great training for reporting the news and predicting the weather
• Even though we shouldn't need reminders... we do. Call the people you love. Tell them that you love them. There are no guarantees that we or they will be here tomorrow. This has always been true, and will always be true, so remember as often as you can to reach out and tell people they're valuable in your life.

Links!

Check out the KPTV Fox 12 Weather Podcast!

If you're interested in science and prediction, then you'll likely get excited in a few weeks with an upcoming guest. Until then satisfy your scientific curiosity with episode13 featuring prominent immunologist Dr. Gerald T. Nepom.

No book recommendations from Brian MacMillan at the moment, as his brain is full of textbook material from his grad school studies. BUT there are fresh book recommendations every Tuesday in the Change Hub on Facebook.

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