In this episode, Nick speaks with Stacey Jenkins about how she grew through a one-two punch of being diagnosed with cancer, then, less than 24 hours later, losing her father, and much more…

About Stacey Jenkins

Stacey is a technical Director and IT Agile practitioner with 15+ years experience specializing in Web Development, Systems Implementations and Data Integrations, Product Management, and Project Management in the Digital Media space.

In this episode, Nick speaks with Stacey Jenkins about how she grew through a one-two punch of being diagnosed with cancer, then, less than 24 hours later, losing her father, and much more…

About Stacey Jenkins

Stacey is a technical Director and IT Agile practitioner with 15+ years experience specializing in Web Development, Systems Implementations and Data Integrations, Product Management, and Project Management in the Digital Media space.

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Your Friends at “The Mindset & Self-Mastery Show”

00:00:08:15 – 00:00:31:04

Nick McGowan

Hello and welcome to The Mindset and Self-mastery Show. I’m your host, Nick McGowan. And on this show, my guests and I unpack the stories that shape us and the lives that we lead on our path to self-mastery. Today on the show, we have Stacey Jenkins. Stacey is a technology leader for 3D content company in Tampa, Florida, called Media Lab 3D Solutions.

00:00:31:19 – 00:00:54:04

Nick McGowan

And like most leaders, she deals with daily digital fires, managing employees projects, etc.. But when the world shut down for COVID, she had two major situations beyond COVID that could have knocked even the strongest of people down, but not Stacey. So let’s not wait any longer. Let the games begin.

00:00:58:02 – 00:01:01:05

Nick McGowan

Although, Stacey, welcome to the show. I’m so glad you’re here. How are you doing?

00:01:01:20 – 00:01:06:17

Stacey Jenkins

I am good. Thanks for having me, Nick. I was excited to have you asked me to join you on this.

00:01:07:03 – 00:01:23:08

Nick McGowan

Absolutely. You were one of the people that I thought. And who could I have on this show? As I was sitting around thinking about like, I’m going to do this thing or who’s in my warm market, you know, like who are my friends, what I want to talk to and have these sort of conversations. There’s some friends I went through.

00:01:23:08 – 00:01:41:14

Nick McGowan

I was like, Oh my God, though. And others. I’m like, I wonder if they could, you know. But you were one of those people. I was like, And she has so much to say. But I can imagine this would probably, you know, be a great lesson for her to be able to get in front and talk about some of this stuff.

00:01:41:15 – 00:01:45:04

Nick McGowan

And I appreciate that you’re open to do this. So, again, thank you for being here.

00:01:45:23 – 00:01:46:20

Stacey Jenkins

Thanks for asking me.

00:01:47:05 – 00:01:53:18

Nick McGowan

Yeah. So, hey, why don’t we start things off? Why don’t you tell us what you do for a living? And one thing that most people don’t know about you.

00:01:54:21 – 00:02:11:13

Stacey Jenkins

So what I do for a living. I am a tech leader at Media Lab 3D Solutions, so I lead technology teams and it’s different every day. And then what was the second part?

00:02:12:05 – 00:02:14:09

Nick McGowan

One thing that most people don’t know about you.

00:02:14:11 – 00:02:34:19

Stacey Jenkins

Most people don’t know about me. That’s such a hard question to answer, because through the years, my circle has gotten smaller. And so like the people, like there’s a million people who don’t know anything about me. And the people who talk to who I hold in my circle know a lot about me. But what would be something that’s interesting?

00:02:36:09 – 00:02:40:22

Stacey Jenkins

I play I play in a sex quartet. I play the Barry Sax in the sax quartet.

00:02:42:11 – 00:02:49:01

Nick McGowan

That is an interesting fact. Isn’t it so cool when you talk to somebody and you’re like, Oh, you’re a musician, too? It’s like being part of a secret club.

00:02:49:12 – 00:02:53:08

Stacey Jenkins

Yeah, I remember you and I having that conversation at some trip that we took.

00:02:54:09 – 00:03:07:05

Nick McGowan

Yeah, I think it was a Vegas trip. Doesn’t sound as fun as. As I just said, when somebody says, oh, Vegas trip, we were there for business. I think I did like 40 miles of walking in three days, and I forgot my damn jacket.

00:03:07:21 – 00:03:14:17

Stacey Jenkins

Yeah, it’s like, yeah, but it’s by the end of the day, you’re too exhausted to, like, go out and have fun necessarily, because you’re doing the business thing.

00:03:15:09 – 00:03:32:02

Nick McGowan

Yeah, but that was a great conversation. You and I sat down in the bar and we were like, Damn, what a day. So who are you? Because I think I’ve just gotten to the company, like, alone, six months before that, something like that. Tell us a bit about where you came from and what got you into technology today.

00:03:32:03 – 00:03:39:26

Stacey Jenkins

As a kid, I was always interested in figuring out how things work and taking things apart, figuring out how to put them back together.

00:03:41:03 – 00:03:50:15

Nick McGowan

Were you ever good at putting them back together? Because I could take shit apart, but I couldn’t figure out how to put all that back together. Like it’s a TV and it’s in pieces. And I found a tube.

00:03:50:22 – 00:04:10:22

Stacey Jenkins

I think I was smart enough to not take things, like, fully apart. Like I would take, like, the Atari controller apart and figure it out and like, test and like put it back together. Yeah, like, if my parents bought something, they would just toss it to me, like the IKEA. If it was pre IKEA, but it tossed me the the instructions and I put it together for them.

00:04:10:22 – 00:04:18:17

Stacey Jenkins

And so they, they kind of really supported me in going into engineering. So I really got a good push from my parents in that regard.

00:04:19:21 – 00:04:20:21

Nick McGowan

Were they engineers?

00:04:20:22 – 00:04:44:16

Stacey Jenkins

No, no. My mom was an office office manager and my dad worked in feel like the steel industry. He worked for the U.S. can company in the Midwest and very smart both very smart but but no they were not into technology.

00:04:45:09 – 00:04:58:28

Nick McGowan

All right. So there you are taking things apart like the Atari controller. And, you know, there there’s certain kids that go the I’m going to take animals apart and do other things and they go down a weird sociopath.

00:04:59:00 – 00:04:59:17

Stacey Jenkins

No, no, no.

00:04:59:18 – 00:05:00:21

Nick McGowan

You went down like a.

00:05:02:04 – 00:05:04:03

Stacey Jenkins

At least my number machines.

00:05:04:03 – 00:05:05:02

Nick McGowan

You went down a different path.

00:05:05:03 – 00:05:34:21

Stacey Jenkins

Yeah, thankfully. Exactly. Thankfully. Yeah. No. And then, you know, like I went through school and I, I went into engineering school in college, into mechanical engineering, and partway through my college career, I can’t remember the instance or why, but something had convinced me that as a mechanical engineer, I would be building bridges for the rest of my life, and I did not want to do that.

00:05:34:21 – 00:05:36:17

Nick McGowan

So that all they do.

00:05:36:18 – 00:05:38:12

Stacey Jenkins

Know, well, obviously not just.

00:05:38:12 – 00:05:39:21

Nick McGowan

Build bridges. You know why.

00:05:39:21 – 00:06:02:29

Stacey Jenkins

I thought that? I don’t know why I thought so. To all the mechanical engineers out there, I apologize that I minimized the work. The most important you know, the important work that’s out there. And I just thought it was a lot of bridge building. So I looked to see I kind of just fell into computers. I look to see what what my college credits would transfer easily over into.

00:06:02:29 – 00:06:25:28

Stacey Jenkins

And it was computer science. Yeah, I remembered that. I programed on an Atari when I was in third grade and kind of self-taught myself, some of that stuff. So I remember that. I said, We’ll give this. We’ll see if this computer thing sticks. We tried that out and here I am a a couple of decades later.

00:06:27:24 – 00:06:43:03

Nick McGowan

Yeah. That’s it’s crazy to see like children’s toys now that are these little Playskool looking toys that are like coda Friend or something where they’re learning how to code and they’re like putting these things together. But they’re. You were butchering your Atari.

00:06:43:04 – 00:06:45:00

Stacey Jenkins

Yeah, I was. It was be what.

00:06:45:00 – 00:06:46:11

Nick McGowan

Do I do? And then coding for.

00:06:46:12 – 00:07:02:17

Stacey Jenkins

Girls who code and before. Before. Yeah. Gender nonspecific toys I guess I was I was taken apart the Atari and do you remember those hacks? We’re a little bit different in age, but I don’t know. When you were a kid, did they have the scholastic book fairs or was it post stuff?

00:07:02:25 – 00:07:06:07

Nick McGowan

Oh, yeah. Okay. Oh, my God. We used to live for that.

00:07:06:08 – 00:07:10:09

Stacey Jenkins

Those are my jam. Yeah, that’s where I bought some coding books.

00:07:10:09 – 00:07:11:06

Nick McGowan

Pizza Hut points.

00:07:11:15 – 00:07:29:05

Stacey Jenkins

You remember? Yeah, yeah. Oh, man. Yeah. So I. I bought I bought some books that were like computer programing games, and I’d sit there at the Atari and just, like, type them in. And that’s how I started.

00:07:30:13 – 00:07:57:09

Nick McGowan

And that’s so cool. So a growing up through that, what was that like for you? Because I know it’s got to be kind of tough in different ways. Like you’re a leader in our company now and you’re one of a handful of women, which is fantastic, but that’s not the norm. So what was that like kind of growing up and being that kid playing on the computers and then getting into computer science and all?

00:07:58:10 – 00:08:19:25

Stacey Jenkins

Honestly, for me, it was it didn’t seem I was always a tomboy growing up and I was always I always kind of was like that nerdy outsider didn’t fit in type person. And I mean, like all kids, I wanted to fit in, but I also was really supported by my parents in terms of engineering and exploring these kind of things.

00:08:19:25 – 00:08:46:03

Stacey Jenkins

And I mean, this was back in the eighties and my mom would let me buy boy clothes and, you know, go through all that. And that was before, you know, kind of the woke period that we’re in now. So I never really felt too I didn’t I didn’t really notice. I didn’t know that I was a girl in tech or like a girl in engineering.

00:08:46:03 – 00:09:06:09

Stacey Jenkins

I just, like, hung out with my guy friends. And I played with Hot Wheels and robotics and I just did it. And my parents didn’t tell me, you know, I wasn’t I wasn’t wiser otherwise for for for being different. It wasn’t really until like the profession of world that I started to really see that there was a difference.

00:09:08:06 – 00:09:29:17

Nick McGowan

So huge. Your parents know. You hear different kids that are raised a certain way where they’re doing something that they love and their dad might say to them, like, boys don’t do that. Or, you know, the mom might say, Oh, honey, you should really you should do this because you’re not going to make money with this thing. Oh, honey, you should really do something else.

00:09:30:04 – 00:09:32:12

Nick McGowan

And the fact that your parents are just like, what do you want to do?

00:09:32:20 – 00:09:34:18

Stacey Jenkins

All right, cool. Giddy up. Yeah.

00:09:34:29 – 00:09:38:29

Nick McGowan

You’re not going to take apart animals. Fantastic. Then whatever you want to do.

00:09:40:00 – 00:10:04:13

Stacey Jenkins

Yeah, I was really lucky in. They’re supportive me and there was nothing there was never anything like, you know, gendered about what my parents, you know, supported me in. Don’t, don’t get me wrong. My mom wanted me to wear churches, to dress I mean, wear dresses to church. But but other than that, in terms of like what I was interested in, what I went after, I was really supportive.

00:10:04:13 – 00:10:35:04

Stacey Jenkins

And I’m sure my you know, my dad was really proud of me, too. And it really did allow me to explore what I wanted to do and become as I went into adulthood. And I was lucky. But I think, you know, if it was in reverse and I was a little boy and wanted to do something more feminine, I don’t know that I think that that was probably a harder battle back then in the seventies and eighties.

00:10:35:13 – 00:10:48:28

Stacey Jenkins

So, yes, we can tell my parent, you know, we can say that my parents were great and they were. But yeah, they supported me in this more engineering kind of kind of interests.

00:10:48:28 – 00:11:08:20

Nick McGowan

Yeah. I think the overall of them just trying to support in any way. You’re right, it might have been a little bit more weird with a little boy in the seventies or eighties wearing a dress or something like that. Then if you had some boy jeans on and you’re out playing in the dirt, like whatever I could imagine that could be a bit different.

00:11:08:20 – 00:11:25:06

Nick McGowan

But the fact that your parents were just open to things and not trying to just literally brainwash you. I don’t have kids, so I could imagine that’s got to be difficult when you’re like, Well, I know these things, or at least you believe that you know certain things and you’re like, All right, kid, do it this way. Tiny little kids.

00:11:25:06 – 00:11:45:20

Nick McGowan

Like, I don’t know anything. You’re here, you’re supposed to love me, so tell me what to do. And they just sponge it up. And the fact that you’re able to SpongeBob where your parents are just ultimately loving on you and being open and supportive no matter what you’re doing is kind of a big thing. Because, again, I’ve heard of so many different people and I’ve been in different spots.

00:11:45:20 – 00:12:13:12

Nick McGowan

I love my parents, I’ve been in different spots. But like now, yeah, you want to go do this, you want to do that? And I appreciate that they care to be able to talk about those things. There are certain things that I can tell behind that where I’m like, You don’t fully understand it. Yeah. You know, and the fact that your parents were probably there too, and they’re like, we fully don’t understand where you’re going, but we at least know we’re going to love and support you is much better and much different than somebody with just shitty parents.

00:12:13:16 – 00:12:21:27

Nick McGowan

They’re like, Fuck you, kid, didn’t want you. Anyway, we had a party one night and a year later, whoop, they do. It’s, you know, that’s way different.

00:12:22:28 – 00:12:25:02

Stacey Jenkins

I was like, it’s not a year, it’s it’s nine months.

00:12:25:02 – 00:12:33:13

Nick McGowan

Like actually making a, making a sort of inside joke.

00:12:34:10 – 00:12:34:28

Stacey Jenkins

Stephen.

00:12:35:07 – 00:12:53:07

Nick McGowan

Thank you for calling me on it. That’s a total nod to my parents. They had a they were at a party one night and then about a year later, my dad found out, hey, you got a three month old. So this stuff happens. I get the innate anatomy of it all. I understand that. And again, I was about three months old.

00:12:53:07 – 00:13:27:03

Nick McGowan

But, you know, in that spot, if it’s not a planned child, I’d imagine it’s a bit different, but maybe it’s not. I think it really boils down to the parents and where the people are and where they’re at. I’m 37 years old. I don’t have plans to have children anytime in the very near future. But at some point I’d like to have kids and I can I can totally understand that I would be a way different parent in my forties than if I was in my twenties because the amount of shit and craziness that I’ve gone through and learned in all of that where I’d imagine it’s got to be tough.

00:13:27:03 – 00:14:01:11

Nick McGowan

So the fact that you had parents that were just loving and supportive and open to that sort of stuff is huge, that it’s kind of easy for us, not just people in general. If you believe something, you go, I believe it and I don’t think I’m an idiot. So it must be true. And you kind of forced that, you know, when you think of where you’re at, even running the technology side of the business and the different conversations you have and the personality types that you have to work with, you are the boss.

00:14:01:11 – 00:14:24:05

Nick McGowan

You are the one the buck stops with. But you’ve never been one of those people that is like, Oh, that’s cool. I don’t care what you have to say, we’re going to do this and I wonder, does that come from your parents? Was that something you think innately kind of came from or was it like it kind of flourished out of you kind of stepping out of your shell as you grew up?

00:14:24:05 – 00:14:38:11

Stacey Jenkins

Thank you. I feel like that was a compliment on my leadership style. I will say there have been a few times where I’ve said this is what we’re going to do, but I probably qualified it by saying, I don’t normally do this, but it’s just not working. Going through, yeah.

00:14:39:13 – 00:14:41:25

Nick McGowan

You’re like, I feel uncomfortable, but I’m putting my foot.

00:14:41:25 – 00:14:43:21

Stacey Jenkins

Down, you guys, this is the way we’re all.

00:14:43:22 – 00:14:47:04

Nick McGowan

Right. I hope, you know.

00:14:48:15 – 00:15:20:24

Stacey Jenkins

Being a leader was never my goal. That was never something that I set out to do on purpose. I have always just followed what stimulates me intellectually, and I have found that I guess I would call myself like a reluctant leader, if that makes sense. I though, you know, like if there’s somebody leading the charge and we’re we’re Griffin, we’re doing great.

00:15:20:24 – 00:15:45:27

Stacey Jenkins

Like, I’m going to follow you all the way. I’m going to follow you. I’m going to support it. But if there is a lack if there’s a hole there, if there’s something missing, then then I’m a reluctant leader in the fact that I will step up and I will try to fill that gap and try to bring everybody together to, you know, and be a leader in that way.

00:15:46:04 – 00:16:06:27

Stacey Jenkins

I always think of there’s like this comic of a wolf pack and it’ll be like, Is the leader in the front or the leader in the back? And I always strive to be the leader in the back, the one who’s what’s another way to say it, like laying the groove. I think of like a bass Barry Sax in the sax quartet.

00:16:07:01 – 00:16:31:25

Stacey Jenkins

You know, you’re just kind of like laying the groove, you know? And if if it’s starting to slow down a little bit, you kind of like lay those notes down a little bit quicker to get people to catch up. But everybody’s doing it together. It’s not about it’s not ego driven. It’s kind of that like leading from behind and making sure that the way is clear for everybody.

00:16:31:25 – 00:16:46:24

Nick McGowan

Now, I would assume you weren’t always like that. You weren’t a four year old. You’re like, Hmm, I can tell there’s no leader here. It’s time for me to step up and say something. Now. So where do you think that came from?

00:16:46:24 – 00:17:14:11

Stacey Jenkins

With that? Come? I was I call myself a recovering people pleaser. I think growing up, my parents, you know, we were just talking about my parents being supportive of my engineering, which I didn’t even know was engineering at the time, but kind of just those like technical interests, but was also very much a heavy people pleaser all the way through college.

00:17:14:11 – 00:17:42:05

Stacey Jenkins

So I think because what comes with being a people pleaser is being a joiner. I’m still a joiner. Like I want to be involved. I like to experience new things just for the experience of it. But when I, you know, college was really I went to three different high schools, actually. I hope that’s something that’s maybe interesting to know.

00:17:42:05 – 00:18:23:07

Stacey Jenkins

I went to three different high schools, so I never really was like in one place for too long. So I, you know, it taught me to come out of my shell, but I would say it was it’s all like through college, even a bit of a people pleaser. But I had opportunities to take leadership positions. I was president my in college and then I was also and like a women in Mechanical Engineering Council, that’s before I switched over to computers because it’s before the bridge the bridge gate.

00:18:23:07 – 00:18:27:10

Nick McGowan

Yeah, that’s it. You’re like, no, no, no. I can see the bridges coming out of go.

00:18:27:17 – 00:18:58:02

Stacey Jenkins

No, this is for me know there was something that happened through college where I, I think like stepping out of my comfort zone and taking those positions because I was a joiner and because I wanted to please the people that asked me to take those positions that that I got more comfortable with that kind of that kind of role or that kind of posture where it was where people are looking at you, you know, and waiting for you to leave them.

00:18:59:14 – 00:19:26:03

Stacey Jenkins

So I can’t think of like one specific thing, but I think it was probably my people pleasing ways got me to join things that were out side of my comfort zone. And then because they were leadership, things I learned a bit along the way. So in college I ended up taking some leadership courses because of being in those positions they were required and I ended up being a resident assistant in college as well.

00:19:26:24 – 00:19:43:15

Stacey Jenkins

So my last year in college I was trained on like conflict resolution and how to take care of your residents when you’re an R.A. and a college dorm. So I think, you know, a lot of that stuff happens there. Yeah.

00:19:44:03 – 00:20:03:08

Nick McGowan

The fact that you moved around and changed high schools three times could potentially shake and disrupt an introvert, somebody who wants to just be quiet and by themselves that could just make them go, you know, I don’t have any time because God knows how long I’m going to be here. I’m just going to sit in my room and not do anything.

00:20:03:21 – 00:20:23:15

Nick McGowan

So it’s interesting that you kind of went that path where you were potentially like that, but because of the engineering mind and trying to fix those problems, you’re like, Fuck, it’s problem, right? We’re going to do Who are you? What is this thing? Other classes to learn about this. Okay. And I see you still even doing that now.

00:20:24:18 – 00:20:38:26

Nick McGowan

There was something that we talked about maybe a year or so ago, and you were like, I’m going to buy a broken scooter. And I was like, Well, that’s silly. And you looked at me weird. I remember feeling like, Oh, well, you just told me you’re going to buy a broken scooter. Why? Why are you making me feel this way?

00:20:39:09 – 00:20:57:01

Nick McGowan

And that makes total sense that our brains are different. I don’t look to like, instantly try to fix those things like that. I go, Well, what’s I need this thing for this purpose. So the quickest way to do that is by one that’s operational. Get my ass on it. Move along. But that you just wanted to step in and do that.

00:20:57:01 – 00:21:18:28

Nick McGowan

I, I think that’s it’s kind of a nod to the creativity that you bring to where you go, huh? I need to understand how to use this thing. And I want to be able to actually understand every ounce of it. So on the tech side of the world, you started with an Atari and now you play in the world of AR and VR for pixel streaming.

00:21:18:28 – 00:21:46:00

Nick McGowan

We’ll get to at some point real time rendering and all those things. So you’ve always been good at being able to have those conversations with people, sort of that liaison between the tech side and the people side. What sort of advice would you give the people that are trying to have those conversations, be it with people they work with in their own company, or just people that they work with in their own department?

00:21:46:00 – 00:22:18:13

Stacey Jenkins

Well, if I was going to talk to if I’m talking to like technical people who are like slinging code all the time, you know, and they they need to talk to their stakeholders or their business partners in the stuff I we know so much and we know the details of so much. Like you push a button on a website and we know that it’s a certain number of pixels shifting on a screen that then cause an action in code to happen.

00:22:18:13 – 00:22:42:19

Stacey Jenkins

That then causes a message to go to the wife AI router that then connects to a domain name server and then Y is up into outer space and then comes all the way back to somebody else’s computer. And I don’t that’s not all true necessarily, but it’s you know, you can lose people really quickly if you throw in like all of the unnecessary details.

00:22:42:19 – 00:23:05:19

Stacey Jenkins

So as a technical person, we have to know all those details to make this stuff work. We don’t need to know how this stuff goes to space, to satellites and come back like somebody else, figure that part out. But I mean, like, you know, we have to we do have to know those things. I talk I compare it to like a sirup painting pointillism.

00:23:06:09 – 00:23:33:27

Stacey Jenkins

So the famous painting of I can’t even think of it right now of the people in the park, it is by Sarah George Surratt and it is pointillism. So it’s like I talk about, you know, you see an umbrella. But on the technical side, we see every dot that makes up that umbrella. And the black stem of that umbrella is probably not black.

00:23:33:27 – 00:23:56:21

Stacey Jenkins

It’s probably a mixture of green dots and purple dots and red dots and but but to the end person who doesn’t need to know all that stuff, it’s an umbrella holder. It’s an umbrella stick. So, you know, you have to know your audience that you’re talking to. And but on the flip side of that, I would say don’t talk down.

00:23:56:21 – 00:24:12:27

Stacey Jenkins

You know, you don’t want to talk down to people because they may they may understand, they may want to talk about the dots. So it’s kind of like this fine balance. And I think you’ve seen me do it on calls with clients where you know, if you already understand this part to stop me, you know, we’ll go into this.

00:24:13:20 – 00:24:33:04

Stacey Jenkins

But it’s finding that balance of being able to read your audience and understand kind of kind of seeing if they understand what you’re talking about, too, and making sure you’re kind of constantly making decisions. Do I need to explain this more? Is this detail important or not? Well, maybe it’s not for the goal of the conversation. So you just move on.

00:24:34:28 – 00:24:56:03

Nick McGowan

Yeah. Know that process right there? That we I think you and I are a little bit more fluid in because we do it almost all day long of like, well, I’ve got to admit this, you need to know this thing. You may not need to know this thing, but I should check in about this thing. And like all of that within those conversations, I think a lot of people do that kind of subconsciously.

00:24:56:25 – 00:25:19:04

Nick McGowan

But on more of a negative side, no. And I understand that the way that you typically look at life is more on the positive side and the optimistic side. And people that will go through those situations. Yeah, because your process and the outlook and your overall mindset, etc., etc. with the people that work through that process as well.

00:25:19:14 – 00:25:38:12

Nick McGowan

And I think a lot of those shifts where they go, well, maybe I should omit this, maybe I should admit that maybe I’m taking too long. I’m doing this, I’m doing that. I’m sure you’ve had a couple of those moments over the course of time where you’re like, That was weird as hell. And I sounded awkward. So what did you do in that point?

00:25:39:28 – 00:25:46:14

Nick McGowan

And do you have a moment that comes to mind? You were like, Oh, this was awkward as shit. And I remember learning things from that.

00:25:47:22 – 00:26:18:12

Stacey Jenkins

I think I’m always somewhat socially awkward, so I, I just was like, run with it. I’m just kind of like, radical self-acceptance is something that I’ve learned through the years. And so I probably just do some self self-deprecating humor and be like, That was awkward. I’m socially awkward. Sorry about know something? I was laughing because I was remembering being in a conversation with a new acquaintance.

00:26:18:12 – 00:26:38:15

Stacey Jenkins

It wasn’t even work related. We were at a party and I just kept talking on and on and on, and I could not find a way to close the conversation. And my wife was watching this all go down real time and she felt awkward and I felt awkward. And then this other person just like kind of walked away.

00:26:38:15 – 00:26:46:17

Stacey Jenkins

And at least I was able to look at my wife and I’m like, That was bad. That was really awkward. So we’re just now let that be what it is.

00:26:47:04 – 00:27:03:18

Nick McGowan

Yeah, there’s there’s a lot of power in just being able to laugh at yourself though, because if you realize something like that, first off, have you realizing you call it out, you can then tell the character of other people because there’s some people that’ll be like, Oh yeah, that was weird. But now we’re good, you know? And everything’s moving along.

00:27:03:18 – 00:27:19:02

Nick McGowan

Other people might just feel weird. That’s usually a thing on their own where they’re like, This was a weird Norgren I didn’t want to be here anyway. Yeah, I think you can laugh about it is huge, you know. You got to be able to laugh about that. Talk to us a little bit about the the radical acceptance, though.

00:27:19:02 – 00:27:20:00

Nick McGowan

Where did that come from?

00:27:21:20 – 00:27:49:02

Stacey Jenkins

How is something I think like early I’m trying to think of like age range so I can relate probably like 15 to 20 years ago going back to that like kind of people pleasing mentality and always trying to be the A student and and you know, as an adult that doesn’t really work anymore. There is I mean, it can work.

00:27:49:02 – 00:28:13:14

Stacey Jenkins

There’s a whole world out there that wants to sell you things or wants to convince you that they have the answer. But I don’t believe that anybody has the answer. The only answer that is real or is true is the one that’s inside us. Now, I’m not saying like if you told me two plus two is five, that I would agree with you.

00:28:13:14 – 00:28:43:00

Stacey Jenkins

But what I mean is finding the way in school, it’s easy to find the way you got to answer these ten questions and do them right. And especially for me in engineering, it’s it’s discreet. It’s like there’s a right or wrong answer. It’s black or white. So as you go into adulthood and start realizing, you know, the whole world is not going to hand you a piece of paper with ten questions on it that you feel perfectly answer, and then you get an A, you know, that’s not that’s not adulthood.

00:28:43:29 – 00:29:10:07

Stacey Jenkins

Somebody turns me on to a book. I think there’s a book called Radical Self-acceptance. And it’s radical because it is kind of going in the face of what society tells us. We’re convinced by society or by every billboard we drive by or every ad that comes up on or whatever social media we’re scrolling through that there’s something we need out there outside external from us.

00:29:10:24 – 00:29:41:15

Stacey Jenkins

And so self acceptance can be really radical in that kind of environment. I can look in an ad for makeup and it can be really radical to be like, I don’t need that, you know, the whole world is doing that. I don’t need that. That’s radical. It’s radical to accept yourself and your I don’t want to I was going to use the word negative, but I don’t really necessarily believe in positive or negative.

00:29:41:15 – 00:30:12:04

Stacey Jenkins

I just feel like, you know, it’s what’s positive or negative or right or wrong at that time. The variables at hand or for the people in the room. I don’t believe that things are black and white. So yeah, so radical self-acceptance was a book I read about finding a way to accept yourself in the face of what we are bombarded with daily that tells us who we should be and how we should act and how we should look.

00:30:13:05 – 00:30:48:00

Nick McGowan

And that’s something that I think a lot of people don’t understand, that we are constantly sponging in information. So the more that I become aware of that, the more that I feel that. And I can see that. Like there are certain times where I’ll wake up in the morning, grab my phone, I’ll look at calendar or something, and it’s like I just instantly get into it and then I’ll be on Instagram or Facebook or even LinkedIn and next thing you know, you’re just absorbing stuff and you’re like, There’s things, and other people are making millions of dollars and I need to do more things and fuck, I think I need to lose £20 and like

00:30:48:01 – 00:31:13:14

Nick McGowan

I just woke the fuck up. This doesn’t make any sense, but it just coming at you. And for the people that are unaware of that, they’re just absorbing that. They just take it and they absorb it. So the fact that you read something was great, but what really stood out would you think it was something where you were like, Look, I’ve had enough of this because right now it might be a little bit more difficult with social media and with pressures and stuff like that.

00:31:14:12 – 00:31:41:21

Stacey Jenkins

Yeah, you know what? I do feel like we’re in kind of a bit of an awakening, whereas like maybe like 8 to 10 years ago, you know, social media is everything. It’s Web 2.0. We didn’t know how it would affect us and we didn’t know that engineers at these companies were starting to realize that they could give us quick dopamine hits that would make us stay on their sites longer.

00:31:42:11 – 00:32:08:09

Stacey Jenkins

So I think we are we there’s documentaries about this stuff now. I mean, there’s there’s things that we can understand. Facebook or media, I think is on a decline because of this because of this awareness that we’re starting to have about how social media affects us. Now, I’m speaking about this as a 47 year old woman. I don’t know how it’s affecting teens and all that.

00:32:08:09 – 00:32:35:25

Stacey Jenkins

And I would hope that this knowledge becomes, you know, that that that we talk about it more and that we understand more that our eyeballs and our your our attention is what these companies are selling to other people. You know, we we are that product. Our attention is the product. And they’re intentionally keeping us constantly on alert with all of those things that you just said.

00:32:35:25 – 00:32:59:16

Stacey Jenkins

Nick, that one of the things that I’m working on right now is actually not looking at my phone at night. It’s a real struggle. Like I’m really struggling with this. I go to bed with my phone. I regret it at night because I get a lot of all information about things that I’m interested in. I wake up in the middle of the night all look, first thing I do is look at my phone.

00:33:01:01 – 00:33:05:27

Stacey Jenkins

So it’s only been about two weeks now where I’m trying to break this habit. It’s hard. It’s not easy.

00:33:06:18 – 00:33:12:07

Nick McGowan

Well, how are you doing it?

00:33:12:07 – 00:33:33:18

Stacey Jenkins

Not well. The first time I decided that, you know, in the in the when I go to bed, my plan is because I have to I can’t turn my phone off. You know, luckily, our systems at our company are stable. But if I, you know, I have to ultimately be available if something goes wrong in the middle of the night, our data center goes down.

00:33:34:04 – 00:34:02:14

Stacey Jenkins

You know, I need to be able to answer that phone call when we get calls from India. Sometimes. So my plan is to and I haven’t gotten this far yet, but my phone on the dresser across from the bed and I put myself to sleep by reading. So even just going in and putting it somewhere else and not having it with me when I go to bed to fall asleep has been hard, but I haven’t even gotten that far to putting the phone across the room.

00:34:03:07 – 00:34:22:07

Stacey Jenkins

What I realized I was doing for a while was staying on the couch because I knew when I had to go in the room, I had a rule for myself that I had to put the phone away so I didn’t go to bed. So silly. You get a pair. So yeah. Yeah. I didn’t realize how addicted I was to all of that stuff.

00:34:22:07 – 00:34:29:19

Stacey Jenkins

And just in the past few weeks have I really been working on it. It’s my number one thing that I that my self-mastery thing that I’m working on right now.

00:34:29:24 – 00:34:34:16

Nick McGowan

That’s beautiful. What what do you think spurred that?

00:34:34:16 – 00:34:57:29

Stacey Jenkins

I’m working with a dietitian right now, so I’m sure I know one of the things that you’ll want to talk about is something, you know, a major episode or experience in our life. And one for me was being diagnosed with cancer. The good news is I beat it. I am close to a major milestone in terms of my recovery and my time being a survivor.

00:34:59:17 – 00:35:23:24

Stacey Jenkins

But with cancer, treatments come side effects. And so I wanted to one of the things that I’ve never really mastered or really been good about is my diet. I’m lucky that I’m married to a physical therapist and she’s very health conscious. So by living in this household, I probably had a better diet, you know, than than if I wasn’t with her.

00:35:23:24 – 00:35:57:11

Stacey Jenkins

But it was something that I decided to do for myself to really, you know, get my it, my body, you know, feeling good. And as healthy as I can be. I hired a dietician and turns out she she’s looking at things that are not just diet related, but she’s looking at lifestyle related things, too. So sleep is something that we’ve really been talking about that like, yeah, you can eat all the right foods, but if your sleep’s terrible, you’re still going to feel bad or your body’s still not going to be in the best operating order that it needs to be.

00:35:57:18 – 00:36:06:00

Stacey Jenkins

And so we’ve together uncovered this habit that I have over the past few weeks. And so that is turned into the the the big thing that we’re working on.

00:36:07:15 – 00:36:29:11

Nick McGowan

I, I’ve never gone through cancer. I have some friends and family that have you being one of them. I could only imagine what that actually does to your body, let alone the other things that you have to do to your body to try to get the cancer out. So I know that at a basic necessity, if your body and mind are aligned, then you’re in a good spot.

00:36:30:12 – 00:36:52:00

Nick McGowan

If you’re not and you’re getting 2 hours of sleep, but you’re doing great on your diet, or you’re getting 15 hours of sleep in your oversleeping or sleep balance, all things. And I remember a couple of years ago I’d said to you, like, God, I get about four and a half hours of sleep and you gave me this look like, how do you how do you operate?

00:36:52:24 – 00:37:18:08

Nick McGowan

And I jokingly said something like this and I pointed down at my coffee or something like mosey down to back to my office. But I was in one of those spots where I, I was trying to get away from other things that I wasn’t able to sleep. So did you find yourself that you were in a spot with things that are being up like sleeping or other habits that you’re doing where you’re like, you know, I kind of knew of those things before and I just didn’t do anything about them.

00:37:19:01 – 00:37:39:14

Stacey Jenkins

It was a mix of both, I think. Nick If you were to talk to my wife, she would say, yes. I complain to Stacey all the time about being on her phone at night and you know, it doesn’t belong. You in the bedroom at night. And she has that on my case about it for a long time, but I just didn’t think it was a big deal.

00:37:39:27 – 00:38:00:29

Stacey Jenkins

I was like, Well, I have to have my phone, you know, I work. Yeah, I have to be available. I’m just reading an article. Then I’m going to, you know, I’m going to fall asleep. You’re reading a book? I’m just reading on my phone. But it is different because I’m scrolling through headlines and getting constant dopamine hits and it’s different than reading a book.

00:38:01:14 – 00:38:27:20

Stacey Jenkins

So I knew it was something that I needed to work on. I just didn’t take it very seriously. And not until working with this dietitian, who really more just like a full it’s mostly diet, but it’s just like five goalposts of of wellness. You know, it’s it’s a full lifestyle program. So not until I started talking to her about it and she was like, yeah, percent, you know, don’t get on your phone.

00:38:27:20 – 00:38:36:00

Stacey Jenkins

And I, I couldn’t, I couldn’t stop really hard. So I knew it was kind of a thing, but I didn’t take it very seriously.

00:38:37:06 – 00:38:48:12

Nick McGowan

We said that’s one of the big things that has happened. Are there any other episodes or major moments over the course of time that you can look back to and go, Damn, that was a moment that changed me.

00:38:48:27 – 00:39:23:17

Stacey Jenkins

I can think of like on one hand, there’s been a few like really, really personal moments that have shaped me to be who I am. The most recent was my health situation, and I’m not sure if you’re okay. If you knew about these series of events. I wasn’t really too open about it, but I my dad died less than 24 hours from when I got my cancer diagnosis.

00:39:24:08 – 00:39:51:18

Stacey Jenkins

So I was trying to absorb this information that I got about my health and, you know, figure that out the next morning, I was hanging out with some really close friends and and we were just all being really gentle with each other because a lot of a lot of a cancer diagnosis is a waiting game, right? Like you got the diagnosis and then you just have to sit and wait for the next doctor’s appointment or next test.

00:39:51:18 – 00:40:14:22

Stacey Jenkins

And, you know, you don’t want to read too much on Google, but you do anyway. So I was hanging out with my friends and I got a phone call from my mom that she couldn’t wake up my dad. Meanwhile, I’m I’m more freaking out about how am I going to tell my parents this situation because I knew it was going to devastate them.

00:40:14:22 – 00:40:39:05

Stacey Jenkins

So it was like one thing after another. It was almost like being in shock, I guess. You know, I just I picked up my things. We had to drive over to my parents. They live 30 minutes from me. And, in fact, my my dad had died that morning. So from there, about two weeks after that is when COVID started shutting things down in the US.

00:40:40:04 – 00:41:18:14

Stacey Jenkins

So my mom had to come live us for a little while. I had to go through surgeries and treatments while taking care of my mom, while helping plan my father’s funeral. That turns out we couldn’t have because of COVID and just trying to work through all of that stuff at one time, I would kind of joke with people that it was kind of like there were these three big holes, but I couldn’t fully fall into one of them.

00:41:18:26 – 00:41:46:02

Stacey Jenkins

Like almost like it was a saving grace. Because the minute I started feeling real bad about my health, my mom needed, you know, I needed to help my mom or I needed to take care of something with my dad’s estate, you know, and really become the person that handled all of these things. With my dad passing away, I also had to go to cancer treatments alone because of COVID.

00:41:46:02 – 00:42:12:19

Stacey Jenkins

Nobody was allowed to go with us, so it was of a very, very, very, very lonely time in my life. And it was very, very recent, you know, within the past two years here. And it definitely changed me. I mean, first of all, losing a parent, a you know, a beloved parent will change you. That’s going through grief and.

00:42:12:19 – 00:42:50:17

Stacey Jenkins

It’s something that I think I kind of was on the long grief train here. I was this even as a kid, like very aware of the impermanence of life. And so it’s something that I always knew was coming, was always really afraid of. So that changes you, you know? But to go through all of that at one time and then to end to stay on two feet, get myself a self up every day and take care of my mom.

00:42:50:17 – 00:43:24:05

Stacey Jenkins

Oh, and during this time we also, you know, we built a cottage in my backyard so that my mom, you know, could live with us because she couldn’t live on her own. So we managed a construction project and. Well, it’s it changed me, gosh, in so many ways. I’m sure you could imagine how you would be changed by just of those events if it taught me that I can handle anything.

00:43:24:05 – 00:43:53:07

Stacey Jenkins

It taught me to be vulnerable. It taught me to ask for help. You know me well enough to know that I’m a very capable person. And so asking for help can be something that’s hard for me, especially when it’s things that are really emotional and vulnerable. So, you know, I basically learned a lot. I think I’m still processing a lot of of all of that stuff.

00:43:53:07 – 00:44:34:08

Stacey Jenkins

But that that changed me big time. I feel like I grew up a lot in the past two years. I have a renewed for the fragility of life, how precious every day is. And it sounds cliche, you know, but it really is. It’s just a mystery that we’re even here. It’s it’s a beautiful mystery. But I think I’m more in touch with that, that mystery, which can make other things that probably cause us in the daily experience of life to get bent out of shape or get upset.

00:44:35:25 – 00:44:40:28

Stacey Jenkins

It’s really helped me with perspective.

00:44:40:28 – 00:45:05:12

Nick McGowan

Yeah, I would imagine that would help you with perspective and a number of other things. It’s interesting the statement that you said about almost like this pyramid of craziness that’s happening in my picture, like almost a fidget spinner in a sense that like the ends being those holes and you can’t just fall in one because as you start to go one direction and the other is going to pull you.

00:45:06:00 – 00:45:26:03

Nick McGowan

And I want to know how you’re how your mind was and how you managed your mind and your overall mindset throughout that. It sounds like that was one of the things that you said, like I’m going to fall through these holes, so I’m going to be all right. That may have been a subconscious kind of saving you. Like there’s a lot of crazy shit going on.

00:45:26:03 – 00:45:35:18

Nick McGowan

You’re not going to die. Here’s the visual, but how did you manage the day to day in and it just stay positive through a great question.

00:45:35:18 – 00:45:57:00

Stacey Jenkins

I asked for help, so I talked to a therapist. Definitely had somebody because, you know, I did it even while I was sick. I felt like I had to take care of the emotions of the people around me. I, I was very conscious of the fact that I was going through this experience, but my wife was going through the experience of having a wife with cancer.

00:45:57:00 – 00:46:16:17

Stacey Jenkins

Our wife, who’s father in law just, you know, whose father just passed away and is grieving at the same time. A wife who’s I had to ask her for help. I was like, I don’t know how to help my mom and I don’t know what to do. Please be my partner in this. I need my mom to stay with us.

00:46:16:17 – 00:46:42:27

Stacey Jenkins

I don’t know what to do. So there was a lot of asking for help, which was outside of my comfort zone. And I got help, you know, with everybody. I had such support. It was it was beautiful and wonderful. And even my friends in my neighborhood who who didn’t know what to do and couldn’t go to take me to my office and sit with me, would just show up in my yard.

00:46:42:27 – 00:47:04:09

Stacey Jenkins

You know, when I got back from something and really support me in that way. So I learned if I didn’t already know how to ask for help or what that pattern looked like, I really big time learned how to ask for help and to really lean on my support system. And some days it was just like put one foot in front of the other.

00:47:04:14 – 00:47:31:13

Stacey Jenkins

Just keep going. Don’t stop. Just keep going. I’m a runner. So many days I would wake up and just really, really tie it to running. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Just move. Keep moving forward. If you need to stop and get a glass of water, if you need to stop running and take a breath, that’s okay.

00:47:32:09 – 00:47:59:13

Stacey Jenkins

If you need to stop and break for a minute, that’s okay. But eventually we just keep moving forward. And so on the days when I felt like I couldn’t, I just would, you know, if I was back at work, just read that next email, just get through the next thing, just keep going. And if you’re feeling awful and you’re feeling airball and there were terrible moments, acknowledge it, but don’t stop.

00:48:00:08 – 00:48:12:12

Nick McGowan

How did you acknowledge that without stopping? Did you find yourself in a little bit of a process when you could almost feel a bit overwhelmed, or is it just kind of fluid and moved between situations?

00:48:13:23 – 00:48:40:15

Stacey Jenkins

I Nick I think I just didn’t have an option. And there were times where I, you know, I would stay in bed for a day and I would just get rest or try to sleep. But I never gave up, mostly because I had people around that were dependent on me not giving up. So maybe it was the people pleasing part that never really go and.

00:48:41:25 – 00:49:20:12

Stacey Jenkins

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I know that’s a really it’s a dark topic and it’s a it’s a dark question that you’re asking me, like, how do you how do you not get sucked into that? And the only I mean, even looking back on it, it’s hard to like I’m really proud of myself, but I think a lot of it had to do with not I wasn’t ready to be done, but, you know, I got that diagnosis and then my dad was done and I was like, I’m I want to be done.

00:49:20:14 – 00:49:44:02

Stacey Jenkins

You know, I’m not ready to be done. But at moments when I felt at the lowest, you know, I had hired help, you know, so that I knew that there was somebody you could always call unburdened because I was paying for this. This is your. But I also knew that I had. Yeah, I’m like, you got to listen to me as well.

00:49:44:02 – 00:50:15:24

Stacey Jenkins

I was also very conscious of the fact that you can’t put all your burdens on one person. You know, your partner can’t be your everything you need to have friends and a support network. And so so I made sure that I that I built up the support network around me where I needed it. And in those relationships where maybe I wasn’t always as open or able to ask for help, I just kind of I think that radical self-acceptance comes back to it.

00:50:15:24 – 00:50:21:06

Stacey Jenkins

And I was like just, you know, people want to help. People want to help, even if it’s just an ear.

00:50:21:14 – 00:50:21:24

Nick McGowan

Yeah.

00:50:22:10 – 00:50:23:02

Stacey Jenkins

So, listen.

00:50:23:19 – 00:50:57:10

Nick McGowan

Some people, that’s their that’s their jam, you know, they love to serve in any way that they can, and that serves them in so many ways. It’s interesting to hear that you felt pressure to have to serve air quotes half to serve and that people pleasing came out not having the option of just saying fuck it, just not wanting to be here anymore and laying down and dying is probably one of the things that really kept you going in those tough times, even if it was subconscious.

00:50:57:10 – 00:51:29:17

Nick McGowan

Because I think the subconscious will try to save you in different ways without you even knowing. Like for the most part, you don’t think about your breathing, but you do it, you know? So even in those sort of crazy, traumatic ways, I think that the subconscious will kick in and sometimes also shelter you. So did you find that there was anything that you went through that maybe now you’re starting to actually process through because you just weren’t able to and you kind of shut down in certain ways?

00:51:29:17 – 00:51:57:14

Stacey Jenkins

It’s hard for me to say, because this is obviously this is my experience and I haven’t experienced it in a different way. I think I’m still processing losing my father. I think because, you know, I talk about I joke about it like there were so many holes that I could have fallen into during that time that they kind of kept me centered, was like this gravity center place where I could fall fully into one of them.

00:51:57:14 – 00:52:22:16

Stacey Jenkins

But but maybe that’s not a good thing. You know, maybe I needed to fall deeply into that hole of grieving my dad. But it was just too much at that time, and I couldn’t. So I tried it. But the reason I said earlier, like, you know, I can only speak to my experience because my experience was losing my dad while all of these other things were going on.

00:52:22:25 – 00:52:45:09

Stacey Jenkins

So maybe if you lose a beloved parent, you know, the grieving does go. This is the normal thing. Grieving does go on forever. So I still try to you know, when I have my dad’s with me all the time, he’s he’s a part of me is not someplace else is. Yeah, I am obviously biologically partly my father, but also who I am as a person.

00:52:45:23 – 00:53:06:11

Stacey Jenkins

And the things that I do and the way that I live my life is also my dad. So he’s still here. But but yeah, I’m still trying to grieve through that stuff. So when I’m feeling tender, I try to give myself a break and not, you know, it can be really easy to look at, pick up your phone or find some avoidance mechanism.

00:53:07:15 – 00:53:13:25

Stacey Jenkins

But I try to to be mindful and to be tender with myself and like just really appreciate that moment for what it is.

00:53:14:21 – 00:53:34:21

Nick McGowan

And when you’re aware of that moment and you can call it and go, Oh, this is one of those moments, especially when you’re able to say, Oh, I want go, I want to go drink, or I want to go do something. That’s Thomas. Just give a bandage to it and be smart enough. Radical enough to be able to say, No, I don’t want to do that.

00:53:35:00 – 00:53:52:13

Nick McGowan

I need to go do this or I need to step outside. The Before we even started the recording, we talked about what the rest of the night’s going to look like. I said, Well, I’m going to do this, then I’m going to go take a walk and be able to get that energy off and kind of get through the rest of the night and enjoy.

00:53:52:13 – 00:54:23:03

Nick McGowan

That’s a beautiful thing to be able to be aware of that. I’m sorry to hear that you went through everything that you went through. I appreciate you sharing everything you’ve shared. I can imagine that’s all been extremely tough. And I hope that there are people listening to this that think, you know, I’m going through really times and then they hear what you went through and think, oh, well, maybe it’s not as tough and not to, you know, point and say, well, somebody else’s pain is worse or different, but it’s all perspective.

00:54:23:03 – 00:54:40:06

Nick McGowan

And the fact that you’re able to get through what you got through, have the perspective that you have, I would hope that people can take note of that and the listeners of the show or the people that go through stuff that strive to be a little less bad than they were the day before and be able to work on their path towards self-mastery.

00:54:40:14 – 00:54:44:27

Nick McGowan

So what advice would you give somebody that’s on their path towards self-mastery?

00:54:45:18 – 00:55:29:10

Stacey Jenkins

Self-mastery is not a destination, right? It’s it’s the entire process. Like, I don’t I don’t think I will ever be a master. And if there’s somebody out there telling you that they’re a master and that they have the answers, I would run. I would suggest that you’re on the other way. So so my advice, it’s so hard because it’s all we’re all such complex beings and we’ve all had our own upbringings and our own defense mechanisms that have become parts of our personality over the years.

00:55:29:10 – 00:55:57:20

Stacey Jenkins

And I mean, and depression is a real thing, too, you know. So it’s like I was able to keep myself out of one of those holes. But, you know, that that is something that that people struggle with too, that that can be really hard. So for me to say read the book Radical Self-acceptance, you know, if you’re if you’re in a bad place and you’re in a dark place, that’s not I don’t know that reading that book is going to help in that moment in time.

00:55:57:20 – 00:56:35:22

Stacey Jenkins

That’s the biggest differentiator for me for getting through this time in my life was the importance at work that I had. And, you know, I was talking to a friend about this. I was, you know, reflecting on the fact that I felt so lucky to have the support network. And but this person reminded me that, you know, like but you built that network, you know, like that is something that you built up over time by being a good friend, by being a good daughter, by being being somebody who’s there for other people as well.

00:56:36:02 – 00:57:19:01

Stacey Jenkins

So they were just all lined up waiting with flags, you know, to help me just when I was when I was able to ask for it. So for anybody listening who’s on their own path, whatever it is that you’re trying to master, whether it’s like not sleeping with your phone, it’s just really hard or, you know, getting through like some of the most difficult human experience questions that we’re going to have while we’re here in these bodies on this earth, I would say, like raise your hand and ask for help, even if it’s even if you feel like you don’t have a support network or a trusted person, people are out there and want to

00:57:19:01 – 00:57:25:29

Stacey Jenkins

help. And and it’s just a matter of being able to to be vulnerable and ask for it.

00:57:27:06 – 00:57:47:23

Nick McGowan

That’s beautiful. I hope that you would have gone toward the ask for help, because that was a big thing that you’ve echoed several times throughout this episode. Is that you’ve asked for help. You stepped up to ask for help. And I appreciate that your friend had said to you, you’re not lucky. It’s not like you just found this $20 bill sitting here.

00:57:47:23 – 00:58:10:02

Nick McGowan

It’s something you would actually set up and worked on because of the type of person that you are. And I’m right there with you. Self mastery is not a destination. Life isn’t about a destination. It’s about the process. It’s about the journey. It’s about doing those things in the little moments and being aware enough to look around. Like we said earlier, life is beautiful.

00:58:10:18 – 00:58:23:29

Nick McGowan

Just take a moment to go, huh? Man, this is great. And then having those little awareness moments. So, Stacy, thank you so much for being on the show. Thank you for being raw and real. Where can people connect with you?

00:58:25:00 – 00:58:51:18

Stacey Jenkins

I am not on social media so you can find me on LinkedIn. Jenkins, D.C. is the the username that you can find me on LinkedIn. And even though LinkedIn is a professional place to send me a message, I’d love to hear from you if you have any thoughts about this, this talk or if something came up, or if you don’t know who to ask for help, ask me.

00:58:51:29 – 00:58:54:17

Nick McGowan

Appreciate that. Stacy, thank you very much for being on the show.

00:58:54:29 – 00:59:04:15

Stacey Jenkins

Thanks for having me, Nick.

00:59:04:15 – 00:59:29:25

Nick McGowan

Another great conversation on today’s episode of The Mindset and Self-mastery show. Wow. How do you think you would handle being told you have cancer and the next day being told, I can’t wake your dad up? That’s got to be tough. The world doesn’t care. It just doesn’t make things easy for us. And that’s not what actually helps us and shapes us.

00:59:29:29 – 00:59:58:13

Nick McGowan

So Stacey’s a trooper for going through that, and that sounds like a major lesson here, is to ask for help. Just ask others are ready, willing and able to do so. And in most situations you may feel alone, but rarely are you actually ever alone. So what did you think about the show today? I’d love to hear your thoughts on the conversation and if you enjoyed the episode, please jump over to iTunes and subscribe rate and leave a five star review.

00:59:58:24 – 01:00:20:00

Nick McGowan

Those really help other people find us and help others benefit, just like you are from the show. And if you really enjoyed the show, please go ahead and share it with your friends and family and you can check out the show notes for more info and contact info for Stacey and check out other episodes on the Mindset and Self-mastery show dot com as well as our YouTube channel.

01:00:20:01 – 01:00:43:10

Nick McGowan

Just search the mindset and self-mastery show should pop right up. Thank you again, Stacey, for being on the show and for being real and honest and raw with us. And thank you to you for joining us today. Remember, your mindset matters and so do you.