The Chompcast

Ten pirates boarded the ship as the cannons blasted, blowing iron into the water and into the hull of the enemy boat.  Swords clanked together, steel meeting steel in combat.  Corpses began to pile up on the wooden floor, blood leaking through the cracks and pouring to the hull below.  The sounds of cannon firing and gun shots blared on the open seas, as the dying calls of the clashing pirates managed to cut through the cacophony. 
The enemy pirates began to overtake the ship, forcing the shipmates of the boarded vessel to wave the white flag of surrender.  The enemies tied up the remaining pirates who managed to stay alive.  The captain of the rogue vessel steps onto the boarded ship.  Without a word, he gives the execute signal.  One of the enemy pirates wielding a gun pulls out a gun and blows away two of the surrenderers with no remorse.  One of the pirates begins to blubber and weep openly, not wanting to die.  The captain laughs at the sight.
Suddenly, a helicopter appears on the horizon.  The pirates from both parties look with confusion and dismay as the winged vehicle approaches at a breakneck speed.  As it gets closer, the pirates hear someone yelling, “Yee haaaaawwwwwwwwwwwww!”  The helicopter stops above the ship, as the wind from the propeller rains down on the pirates, making them scramble for cover.  Suddenly, a horse leapt onto the deck of the ship with a man on top double-wielding rifles and wearing a cowboy hat.  On his brown jacket, there was a pendant in the shape of Montana.
This week’s podcast was discombobulated in the best way possible, as we talked about Sea of Thieves, Far Cry 5, listener polls, and the question of the week: should video games have to say “something”?

This week, we talked about something... but Josh cannot remember.  He stares longingly into Fish’s eyes.  Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.  Besides the galaxies that exist in Fish’s irises and pupils, we discussed games as a service, something that is popping up and is fairly new to us gamers.   We looked for an exit as we played A Way Out.  We began to plunder the seas as Morgan spoke of his initial happenings with Sea of Thieves.  Lastly, Shea was over the moon as Morgan and he discussed playing Shining Force 2.  Next week, we will discuss how to properly lick and seal an envelope.

The white, sterile hospital room is empty, save for someone.  It lays there on the table, seemingly lifeless.  Upon further inspection, the rise and fall of the chest can be seen as it continues to breathe through shallow, controlled breaths.  A gown covers it as it lays on its side unconscious and waiting to be operated on.  Its mind begins to dream of a time already passed.
It was running through a forest, darting and weaving through the underbrush.  A blur was ahead of it, barely keeping pace as it attempted to flee.  It could smell its flesh, a succulent scent gracing its nostrils.  It could barely contain its excitement and hunger as it continued the chase.  It let out a screeching roar, alerting the blur and anyone else in the forest that it would soon be dining on the meat of a smaller creature.  Leaping forward with its large claws attached to its hind legs, it pinned the blur down.  The smaller dinosaur attempted to break free as the velociraptor watched for a few seconds, reveling in its success.  It brought down its razor-sharp teeth, rending the tough exterior of the smaller dinosaur, and biting into the sweet taste of flesh and blood.
Now, the velociraptor was in a hospital full of medical tools and doctors dying of cancer.  Long past were the days where it would hunt for food, as it was slowly wasting away.  The doctors had planned a last ditch effort to save the velociraptor by performing a unique kind of surgery to remove the tumors plaguing its body.  The doctors stormed in, roaring and showing their gleaming teeth that were the size of daggers. They adorned gowns and eye coverings, in case of blood splatter.
They began to wash their claws in sinks that were so high up on the wall that they almost touched the ceiling.  They heard a stir, turning around to see the velociraptor wake up from its unconscious state.  It seemed as if the anaesthesia was wearing off.  One of the doctors began to prepare a second dose.  Another doctor moved to the velociraptor, checking on the cancerous dinosaur.
“Please…” the velociraptor whispered, barely managing to say the words, “give me… a hand.”
The velociraptor looked up at the doctor, meeting its gaze. What stared back at it was a large t-rex waving its stubby arms and shrugging.
This week on the Chompcast, we were deep into the world of co-op as it was our main topic of discussion.  The topic was prompted by our main game of this week, A Way Out.  Morgan and Josh continued their onslaught of the Donkey Kong series, moving on to Donkey Kong Country 2.  Somehow, for only God knows why, we managed to squeeze out even more Monster Hunter World talk.  That’s your show, so jump on it!

Mechs mechs mechs.  That is the obsession on this week’s Chompcast, as we are still helplessly addicted to the glory that is Into the Breach, Subset Game’s tactical rogue-like game.  With Josh rejoining us this week, we have a full-fledged discussion.  Morgan tells us tales about his rekindled love of Donkey Kong, as well as his engagement story to his fiancé (congrats, ya bastard).  We have some silly polls from the Instagram, and one serious one as we attempt to sound educated regarding artificial intelligence.  Of course, we can’t forget the topic of this week, as we discussed games that sounded “bad” to us on paper, only to end up being a well-liked to coveted experience for us.  The topic was bolstered by comments from you, the listeners.  As always, thank you for your continued support and love for the show.

A man sits in the muck as rain pours down in gallons.  He weeps and shouts to the sky, letting out his anguish to the world.  Broken and hurt, the man cannot contain himself as he is on his knees in front of his dead parents.  He knows that it is dangerous to stay out in the open as looters are wandering about, but he does not care.  The outside world is no longer important to him.  In this moment, death and loss are the only concepts engulfing his mind.

His sword sits at his waist, sheathed in leather and waiting to be of use.  It continues to listen to the man sob uncontrollably for his loved ones laying in front of his body.  It hears footsteps approach, followed by a few chuckles.  It feels its master rustle, standing up to face the strangers.  A hand is placed on the sword, being drawn as the visitors and the man exchange words.  Water begins to fall upon its steel, and it sees a cloudy sky.  Carnage surrounds it, as buildings are caved in, burned, and smoking.  People lay dead in the streets.  It sees the parents of the man, eyes closed, yet frozen in expressions of anguish and misery.

The man steels himself, ready to fight the gargantuan looter with a hammer.  The looter charges at the man, pulling his arm back, ready to strike the shorter man.  A laser cuts through the right side of his chest, shooting out the other side.  The blow singes the flesh of the looter, as he drops his hammer and free falls to the ground.  No sound emanates from the gargantuan attacker as he lays face down in the mud.  The other four looters frantically look around in shock, attempting to find the source.  A mech appears from nowhere, punching one of the looters into the other.  The power of the blow explodes the two colliding looters, covering the area with viscera and blood.  The remaining two attempt to run away when a missile explodes in between them, thrusting them into buildings, breaking their bones.  They crumble into a heap, where they lay shattered and dying.

Three mechs appear close to the man with the sword.  One mech opens and appears a woman wearing futuristic clothing.  “You are safe now,” she assures the man.

This week on the Chompcast, we have our good buddy, Rich Meister, on to join the festivities of discussing Kingdom Come Deliverance, Into the Breach, and Monster Hunter World.  We tackled our most controversial topic to date after being prompted by multiple media outlets: can we separate the art from the artist?  Morgan discussed a few of his questionable polls off of social media, and we included listener responses.