Have you always wanted to change the world? 🤗
Me too.
My mom bought that religion would get us there, and so we did that.
Judgment soup.
I absorbed and excelled.
My mom was harsh. But also gentle. When she was gentle it was sunshine. When she was harsh it was, of course, my fault.
With that as my childhood education, adulthood and relationships were confusing and hard.
I tried to be nice. It didn't work.
I tried to be good. It didn't seem to matter.
I tried to understand. It failed.
I tried to control with feelings. That flopped.
I got icey. That created visible damage.
My mom had shown me that if you have good judgment and judge hard enough, the other person caves.
But no matter what I did, I couldn't be right enough or good enough or judge the other person enough into who I knew they could be. (This would make my life easier, right?)
And my methods weren't things I was proud of, so after, I would always crash.
Which is when I learned that if I would put that energy into myself, it would be different.
I resisted this at first.
How was changing me going to change them? (The only thing I thought mattered.)
Ten years later, I'm only starting to get that changing me isn't even about them.
And, it's not about changing me at all. It's about being me.
Yes, when you become more of you, the people around you change. You're no longer trying to change them. Less fixed judgments, more space and possibility. Anything that can change in that environment, will. Anything that can't, won't. And you won't have to try to do anything.
And that - changes the world.
But, being you gives you the fortune of who you truly are. You get to have the richness of your own being.
Is that worth anything?
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What gift are you that you haven't received the fortune of?
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