Spoken For

The Comfort Trap


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Welcome back to Spoken For. Tonight’s drink is a glass of red - smooth, slightly too warm, poured heavier than intended - because this one’s about honesty, fatigue, and the quiet danger of being “fine.”

If you’ve ever looked across the sofa at your partner and thought, we’re good... but we’re not alive, this episode is for you. We’re unpacking The Comfort Trap - how love can slowly drift from connection to complacency, and how to bring warmth back without blowing it all up.


What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

  • Why “We’re fine” can be the most alarming phrase in a relationship.

  • The difference between peace and numbness - and how hedonic adaptation tricks your brain into boredom.

  • How long-term love slips from curiosity into coasting (and why noticing it is the first step back).

  • Practical ways to reawaken connection: curiosity, gratitude, humour, and small risks.


  • Episode Resources & Mentions:

    • Esther Perel - on security vs. desire.

    • The Gottman Institute - micro-attunement, repair, and appreciation.

    Key Takeaway:

    Comfort isn’t failure - it’s feedback. If your relationship feels “fine,” it’s not broken; it’s just waiting to be noticed again. The antidote is curiosity.


    Let’s Stay Connected:

    Email → [email protected]

    Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/altarandtoast

    Wedding vows & speeches → www.altarandtoast.co.uk

    That’s the end of Season 1 - thank you for listening, sharing, and letting these small, honest conversations about love into your world. New episodes return soon. Hit follow so you don’t miss Season 2.


    Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/walz/ryan

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    Spoken ForBy Sydney Shannahan