We hope you saved all your holiday shopping for the last minute, because this week we're going through the hottest new toys that all the kids in your life will surely be asking for.

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Throw out those old fuddy-duddy church records, because this week we’re going over Rolling Stone's list of the best rock and roll Christmas songs, covering classics like Darlene Love's Christmas (Baby Please Come Home), Run DMC's Christmas in Hollis, and Mariah Carey's All I Want for Christmas Is You. Also, we discuss the current drone situation in New Jersey and whether or not everyone should freak out or not.

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When you're a kid, sometimes it snows so much that you don't have to go to school and it rules because you get to do whatever you want. Nowadays that happens less, since everyone has computers and people hate fun. This week, two old men reminisce about snow days of yore.

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To you he might just be Santa Claus, but to sophisticates like us, he’s Saint Nicolas. This week we’re talking about Santa’s dark origin story and how if you can bring some pickled kids back to life, they’ll make you a saint. And honestly, that’s only fair.

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Sorry gobble-heads, this Thanksgiving week, we're NOT talking turkey. Instead we're laser focused on the real stars of the show: the side dishes. (And we also talk about turkey a little bit.)

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This week we're talking about the legendary career of Quincy Jones, a music producer and arranger for artists like Michael Jackson, Frank Sinatra, and more. But mostly we're talking about his insane 2018 Vulture interview, where he said whatever he felt like saying.

Also, we discuss his daughter's ads for Citibank at great length.

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Screw everything, this week we're talking about desserts for an hour.

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They might have been the rulers of the Earth, but now they’re just birds. That’s right, we’re talking Dinos this week, and why Ross Geller got so much grief for his line of work. Also, the arrival of a new segment: Tim Takes.

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Follow Tim on Twitter: @yourpaltim and Instagram: @yourpaltim

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This week on another Halloween Month episode we're getting wrapped up in mummy talk, and try to figure out a bunch of stuff like what's the deal with mummies, and why didn't anyone see that Tom Cruise mummy movie? Also, we try to figure out what's going with The Masked Singer, which is somewhat mummy-adjacent, in a way.

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There's a lot of rules about vampires, and this week, we're breaking them all. Also we discuss homemade Halloween costumes, how vampires are just like Superman, and just how are they so damn sexy?

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Like the show? Rate The Complete Guide to Everything 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts and let us know what topic they should check out next.

Follow Tim on Twitter: @yourpaltim and Instagram: @yourpaltim

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See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.