The Complete Guide to Everything

Caring about your protein intake: it's not just for meatheads anymore! This week we're talking about the current protein craze and all the wonderful snack foods that are healthy now that they figured out a way to cram protein powder into them.

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Halloween month is technically over, but Tom still wants to talk about cryptids, so here we are. This week we discuss Bigfoot, the Loch Ness Monster, Mothman and some other animals that may or may not exist. Tom is willing to entertain the idea that Bigfoot comes from another dimension, but draws the line at birds being dinosaurs. Also, Tim defends Mothman’s character based on a children’s book and offers a questionable theory about how bats kept getting into his house.

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Halloween Month continues with psychics: people who claim they can talk to the dead! This week we discuss cold reading, Houdini’s war on mediums and whether you can make a living as a telephone psychic. Also, Tim has some very specific instructions for his funeral.

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If you had chickenpox as a kid, you might think you’re done with it. BUT, the virus hangs around in your nerves for decades and come back as shingles. Halloween month continues as we discuss this deeply unfair arrangement, with Tom providing firsthand experience and Tim wishing he knew less about it.

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It's Halloween Month™ and this week we're going big and covering one of the main Halloween things: candy. And although we usually spend a fair amount of time talking about candy in most episodes, no matter what the topic, this time the conversation is quite a bit spookier.

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It’s Halloween month, and we’re discussing decorations that require a truck, a storage unit, and year-round technical support. We investigate the appeal of Home Depot’s 12-foot skeleton and the people who get up before dawn to buy one. We also consider Spirit Halloween’s extensive fog juice selection and whether fixing broken monsters is actually a fun job. Plus, Tom returns from Spain with COVID, while Tim prepares to assert his dominance over his family with his Halloween costume.

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It's mayhem at TCGTE headquarters this week, with scheduling snafus and illness causing all kinds of chaos. We'll be back next week with a new episode, but for now, please enjoy this unlocked Patreon episode from last spring -- "Rank Cranks: Candy."

Two of the world's foremost connoisseurs of the sweet stuff put their candy-coated brains together to come up with the definitive list of the Best American Candy in a surprisingly non-contentious episode of Rank Cranks.

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You may think of waiting rooms as just the boring places you sit in while biding your time before heading into the place you really came for, but we're here to tell you you're wrong. Dead wrong.

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It used to be only cheap phones could be easily folded in half, but now if you want a phone you can fold it’s gonna cost ya two grand. This week we’re talking about folding phones and wondering if they’re only for dorks, or are they technology that dweebs could be interested in too? We also talk about some other recent dumb tech and an evening of teenage eavesdropping at the Jersey Shore.

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Dolly Parton wrote thousands of songs, gave away millions of books and somehow managed to get everybody to like her. This week Christine joins us to remember her favorite person and discuss Dolly’s music, generosity and ability to play “Yakety Sax” backwards. Also, we have a bad experience with Domino’s, consider the practical limitations of being a ghost and get distracted by someone in the building across from Tim’s apartment.

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