The Connection Effect with Bill Groner

Curiosity isn't just about asking questions or exploring novel experiences. It's about what happens when you do.

In this episode of The Connection Effect, host Bill Groner sits down with psychologist, researcher, and author Todd Kashdan — one of the world's leading experts on curiosity — to explore what curiosity really is and why it's far more powerful, more complex, and more trainable than most of us realize.

Drawing from 25 years of research, Todd unpacks curiosity as a five-dimensional strength: not just a feeling of wonder, but a system that involves tolerating uncertainty, navigating the tension between what excites us and what scares us, and finding the motivation to step toward the unfamiliar rather than away from it.

Bill and Todd explore why curiosity is so underestimated, and what the science actually shows about its benefits: from slowing cognitive decline and generating vitality, to building agency, easing loneliness, and helping us connect across deep political and personal divides. This is curiosity not as a personality trait, but as a way of being — and a skill anyone can build.

00:00 Introduction: The Curiosity Expert

02:11 Meet Todd Kashdan: From Panic Attacks to Curiosity Science

03:15 Residual Unsatisfied Curiosity: The Insight That Changed Everything

03:49 The Five Dimensions of Curiosity

05:59 Approach-Avoidance Conflict and Anxiety

06:54 Curiosity as a Dormant Strength

10:12 Is Curiosity Nature or Nurture? (Baseline + Coaching Model)

23:33 Curiosity and Cognitive Decline

27:38 Curiosity as an Agentic Superpower

30:00 Control, Hope, and Our Inner Lives

33:19 Bridging Political and Personal Divides with Curiosity

39:04 Teaching Curiosity: From Classrooms to Workshops

42:05 Hope for the Future

45:14 Final Reflections and Invitations

• Website: https://toddkashdan.com/
• Substack: https://toddkashdan.substack.com/
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/toddkashdan
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/toddkashdan/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/toddkashdan
• Books (The Art of Insubordination, The Upside of your Darkside, Curious): https://toddkashdan.com/books/

• Join the community and conversation on The Connection Effect Substack connection.net/substack
• Questions? Guest inquiries? Email: [email protected]

In this aftershow episode of The Connection Effect, host Bill Groner discusses his conversation with Fred Luskin on forgiveness, grief, and letting go. Bill is joined by Harry Hofer (Executive Coach), Ava Shahi (Talent Development at ALO), and Gaia Uman Borrero (Operations Manager).

While Fred's work on forgiveness is profound and often deeply personal, the group discusses that this isn't just about forgiving others—it's about how we respond to adversity, where we place our attention, and whether we're willing to do something different when what we're doing isn't working.

Together, we explore the real challenges:

• The pull of negativity bias and the constant onslaught of difficult news
• Getting stuck in rumination, anger, or grief that becomes grievance
• The tension between acknowledging hard emotions and not letting them consume us
• The question of what we're holding onto that no longer serves us

And we ground those challenges in something actionable and human.

In this aftershow, we reflect on:

• Why grief becomes grievance when we get stuck—and how to recognize when that's happening
• The power of asking "How's that working for you?" as a catalyst for change
• Why getting to "optimal" matters before we can make an impact on bigger problems
• Existential forgiveness: forgiving yourself for doing the best you can
• Practicing gratitude and kindness throughout the day, not just in isolated moments
• The freedom that comes from accepting reality and doing something different

This conversation isn't about toxic positivity or bypassing pain. It's about agency—recognizing where you have power to shift your attention, change your response, and move forward even when life is hard.

00:00 Introduction and Reflections on Fred's Episode

01:17 What Drew Bill to Fred Luskin

04:16 Redirecting Attention: Examples from Daily Life

7:34 The Pull of Negativity Bias

14:04 Grief Becomes Grievance

25:29 How's That Working For You?

29:32 Call Me When That Works For You

34:16 Power In Kindness

37:50 Reflections of Kindness

40:00 Gratitude Throughout the Day

43:37 Conclusion

• Join the community and conversation on The Connection Effect Substack connection.net/substack

• Questions? Guest inquiries? Email: [email protected]

What do we do when life doesn't go the way we hoped—when we're hurt, disappointed, or overwhelmed by circumstances we can't control?

In this episode of The Connection Effect, Bill Groner sits down with Fred Luskin, founder of the Stanford Forgiveness Project and one of the world's leading researchers on forgiveness. But this is not a conversation about excusing harm or forgiving others. Instead, it's a practical and deeply human exploration of how we respond to adversity—and how our responses often determine whether we remain stuck or move forward.

Fred shares how unresolved grief turns into grievance, why we unknowingly "co-create our own misery," and how attention, gratitude, cognitive reframing, and nervous-system regulation can restore a sense of agency and well-being. Drawing from decades of research and lived experience, he reframes forgiveness as a way of letting go of what no longer serves us—so we can reconnect with our lives as they are, not as we wish they had been.

This episode offers grounded, accessible practices for navigating disappointment, uncertainty, and even large-scale challenges like political or climate anxiety—without bypassing pain or denying reality.

If you've ever felt caught in a negative loop, emotionally drained by circumstances beyond your control, or unsure how to move on without minimizing what happened, this conversation offers a powerful and hopeful way forward.

00:00 Introduction to the Connection Effect

00:36 Exploring Self-Forgiveness with Fred Luskin

03:05 Fred Luskin's Personal Journey

05:31 Understanding the Concept of Letting Go

10:31 The Role of Grieving in Forgiveness

16:02 The Power of Gratitude and Positive Emotion

27:14 Understanding Forgiveness

28:22 Existential Forgiveness

29:24 Power of Attention and Gratitude

30:55 Cognitive Disputation and Emotional Competence

32:34 Practical Applications of Forgiveness

38:06 Gratitude Practices

39:33 Guided Imagery Exercise

45:52 Daily Practices for Happiness

49:26 Conclusion and Reflection

• Website: https://fredluskin.com/
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/frederic-luskin-2a643112/
• Email: [email protected]
• Books (Forgive for Good and Forgive for Love): https://fredluskin.com/books/

• Join the community and conversation on The Connection Effect Substack connection.net/substack
• Questions? Guest inquiries? Email: [email protected]

In this aftershow episode of The Connection Effect, host Bill Groner discusses his recent podcast with Scott Barry Kaufman on self-actualization and transcendence. Bill is joined by Sahar Emambakhsh (Director of Operations & External Affairs at the Positive Connection Initiative) and Courtney Reimer (The Connection Effect Executive Producer; Founder & Principal Strategies at Sounds Great Podcast Strategy).

While this is heavy, life-shaping material, the crew discusses that self-actualization isn't an abstract ideal. It's about how we actually live—day to day, decision by decision, habit by habit—in a world that is busy, demanding, and often overwhelming.

Together, we explore the real obstacles:

• The complexity of modern life
• The tension between daily responsibilities and deeper direction
• The quiet pressure to compare ourselves to others

And we ground those challenges in something practical and humane.

In this aftershow, we reflect on:

• Why self-actualization is a process, not a finish line
• How daily practices help us show up as our best selves today
• Why comparison quietly undermines growth and meaning
• The difference between living on purpose and searching for a single "purpose"
• How intention begins with where—and how—we place our attention

This conversation isn't about fixing your life. It's about guiding it—with care, intention, and compassion for yourself along the way.

00:00 Introduction and Guest Introductions

00:42 Discussing Self-Actualization with Scott Barry Kaufman

01:12 The Sailboat Metaphor and Personal Reflections

07:48 Morning Routines and Personal Well-being

14:10 Exploring Purpose and Goals

22:14 Transcendence and Self-Actualization

32:39 Final Thoughts and Reflections

33:25 Conclusion and Farewell

• Join the community and conversation on The Connection Effect Substack connection.net/substack

• Questions? Guest inquiries? Email: [email protected]

We are not finished products.

In this episode of The Connection Effect, host Bill Groner sits down with psychologist, researcher, author, and self-actualization coach, Scott Barry Kaufman to explore what it really means to explore and grow—not as a race toward achievement or happiness, but as a lifelong process of becoming who we are capable of being.

Drawing from his work revisiting and reimagining Abraham Maslow's ideas, Scott challenges the oft-cited "pyramid" of human needs and offers a more dynamic metaphor: a sailboat.

In this model, self-actualization isn't a final destination at the top, but an ongoing journey—one that depends on safety, connection, and self-esteem, which gives rise to exploration, creativity, and purpose.

Throughout the conversation, Bill and Scott explore why growth is deeply personal and often misunderstood, how rigid labels can limit human potential, and why growth and creating your best-self is less about producing something impressive and more about expressing what feels most alive within us. Scott also reflects on vulnerability, what it is to transcend, and the role of purpose as a compass rather than a destination.

This episode moves beyond self-improvement shortcuts to invite a more humane, patient, and hopeful approach to personal development—one that honors individuality, inner work, and connection as essential to becoming fully ourselves.

00:00 Introduction: The Journey of Self-Actualization

00:40 Meet Scott Barry Kaufman: A Modern Take on Maslow

03:47 Redefining Human Intelligence and Education

05:09 Exploring Self-Actualization and Creativity

10:12 The Sailboat Metaphor: A New Model for Growth

14:01 The Dynamics of Connection and Security

21:37 States vs. Traits: Understanding Human Potential

24:39 Measuring Love and Personality

25:34 Understanding Purpose in Life

28:42 Defining Transcendence

33:03 Self-actualization vs happiness and achievement

35:24 Practical Steps to Self-Actualization

37:07 Self-actualization is a Unique Journey

43:57 Hope for the Future

45:39 Final Reflections and Invitations

Transcriptions are available at connection.net/substack

• Substack: https://www.beautifulminds-newsletter.com/
• Website: https://scottbarrykaufman.com/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ScottBarryKaufman
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/scottbarrykaufman/
• Books (Rise Above, Transcend, Wired to Create, Choose Growth and more): https://scottbarrykaufman.com/books/

• Join the community and conversation on The Connection Effect Substack connection.net/substack
• Questions? Guest inquiries? Email: [email protected]

This aftershow is where theory turns into practice—and suddenly, the fog lifts.

Coming off our conversation with Mónica Guzmán, host, Bill Groner, gathered members of the Positive Connection Initiative (PCI) braintrust, Trevor Fornara (PCI co-founder & board member), and Sahar Emambakhsh (Director of Operations & External Affairs) for our first-ever aftershow roundtable. The three of us unpack what actually makes connection work in the real world: with friends, family, colleagues, and people we deeply disagree with.

If you've ever wondered:

• Why you don't feel fully comfortable talking about politics?
• Whether you're talking less to others about important issues and shrinking your world?
• Why conversations with others often result in a let down rather than an "aha" moment?

The aftershow provides some answers.

In this episode, we explore:

• Why curiosity—not persuasion—is a PRACTICE and the real bridge between people
• How tiny shifts in language unlock trust, nuance, and humanity
• Why engagement through conversation expands your world—and avoidance shrinks it
• How vulnerability and uncertainty change the entire tone of a conversation

This isn't abstract. It's practical, human, and quietly revolutionary.

00:00 Introduction to the After Show

00:42 Diving into Perception Gaps

02:26 The Power of Curiosity

04:43 Complexity in Political Beliefs

10:24 Engagement and Growth

17:02 Practical Tips for Dialogue

17:46 Final Reflections and Takeaways

• To add your voice to the discussion, please join us on Substack at connection.net/substack.

• Questions? Guest inquiries? Email: [email protected]

In this episode of The Connection Effect, host Bill Groner sits down with journalist, author, and bridge-builder Mónica Guzmán to explore a deceptively simple idea with profound implications: that the secret to enhanced inter-personal connection, curiosity, is not a personality trait. It's a practice.

Drawing from her work on depolarization and her lived experience navigating political difference within her own family, Mónica unpacks why judgment grows when engagement shrinks, and how misinformation about what's in other people's hearts quietly erodes connection.

Together, Bill and Mónica explore why certainty can feel soothing, why curiosity often feels risky, and why staying connected across difference matters not just for our relationships, but for the health of society.

This episode moves beyond abstract ideals to offer concrete invitations listeners can try in real life (in their own families, friendships, workplaces, and communities), and reminds us that connection begins with how we show up to ourselves before we meet one another.

00:00 A Message from Bill

00:57 Introduction: The Drive to Depolarize Society

02:21 Meet Mónica Guzmán

03:26 Monica's Motivation and Challenges

06:27 The Vicious Cycle of Judgment

08:24 The Perception Gap and Misinformation

10:32 The Importance of Engaging with Opposing Views

13:52 The Role of Activists in Bridging Divides

21:12 Curiosity takes Courage

25:25 Binary Thinking and the Need for Nuance

27:23 The Importance of Nuance in Personal Growth

28:22 Curiosity: Nature or Nurture?

28:53 Curiosity as a Practice, Not a Trait

31:57 The Power of Asking Questions

35:21 Navigating Political Differences with Friends

46:47 Hope for the Future

48:28 Final Thoughts on Anger and Self-Conversation

Transcripts are available at connection.net/substack

• Website: https://www.moniguzman.com/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/reclaimcuriosity
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/moniguzman/?hl=en
• Book (I Never Thought of It That Way): https://www.moniguzman.com/book

• Join the community and conversation on The Connection Effect Substack connection.net/substack
• Questions? Guest inquiries? Email: [email protected]

In an era of extraordinary division, we often focus on winning arguments rather than building understanding. But what if the key to our future as a society isn't about who is right, but about how we connect?

Hosted by Bill Groner, a former trial lawyer and mediator who spent decades representing over 10,000 9/11 responders, The Connection Effect explores the profound impact of being truly heard. Drawing from a career witnessing the costs of silence and the power of resilience, Bill sits down with researchers, thinkers, and practitioners to discuss their life's work, lived experiences, and how they relate to the science, soul, and practice of connection.

Join us as we explore how to bridge differences, listen deeply, and reconnect with ourselves and one another—especially when it feels most out of reach.

Add your voice to the conversation by following us and chiming in at:

connection.net/substack