Let's try this one more time. Forever.

Check out: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠indeed.com/theconstant⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ now to start hiringVisit our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. You too can get ad-free, early episodes, starting now!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠​​⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠     ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 
BUY OUR MERCH, YOU FILTHY ANIMALS!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ​ ​The Constant is part of the ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Airwave Media⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ podcast network.​​ ​​ ​ ​​​ ​
​​​Interested in advertising on The Constant? Email ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to get on board!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time for some ol' fashioned mass hysteria.

Check out: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠indeed.com/theconstant⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ now to start hiring
Visit our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. You too can get ad-free, early episodes, starting now!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠​​⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠   
 ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ BUY OUR MERCH, YOU FILTHY ANIMALS!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ​ ​
The Constant is part of the ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Airwave Media⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ podcast network.​​ ​​ ​ ​​​ ​
​​Interested in advertising on The Constant? Email ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to get on board!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's only an analogy if you want it to be.

Visit our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. You too can get ad-free, early episodes, starting now!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠​​⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠      ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
BUY OUR MERCH, YOU FILTHY ANIMALS!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ​  ​
The Constant is part of the ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Airwave Media⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ podcast network.​​ ​​ ​ ​​​ ​ ​​​
​​Interested in advertising on The Constant? Email ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to get on board!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Of confederates and con-men.

Visit our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. You too can get ad-free, early episodes, starting now!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠​​⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠    
 ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  BUY OUR MERCH, YOU FILTHY ANIMALS!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ​ 
​The Constant is part of the ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Airwave Media⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ podcast network.​​ ​​ ​ ​​​ ​ ​​​
​Interested in advertising on The Constant? Email ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to get on board!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Thar be wood.

Visit our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. You too can get ad-free, early episodes, starting now!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠​​⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠     ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 
BUY OUR MERCH, YOU FILTHY ANIMALS!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ​ ​The Constant is part of the ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Airwave Media⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ podcast network.​​ ​​ ​ ​​​ ​
​​​Interested in advertising on The Constant? Email ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to get on board!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Arg, me mateys.

Check out: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠indeed.com/theconstant⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ now to start hiring
Visit our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. You too can get ad-free, early episodes, starting now!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠​​⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠   
 ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ BUY OUR MERCH, YOU FILTHY ANIMALS!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ​ ​
The Constant is part of the ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Airwave Media⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ podcast network.​​ ​​ ​ ​​​ ​
​​Interested in advertising on The Constant? Email ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to get on board!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Two classic Constant Christmas episodes, remade in higher quality, and available ad-free for Patreon subscribers. That could be you!

Check out: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠indeed.com/theconstant⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ now to start hiringVisit our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. You too can get ad-free, early episodes, starting now!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠​​⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠    ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
BUY OUR MERCH, YOU FILTHY ANIMALS!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ​ ​The Constant is part of the ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Airwave Media⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ podcast network.​​ ​​ ​ ​​​ ​
​Interested in advertising on The Constant? Email ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to get on board!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Down through the chimney, click click click, it's three bonus stories from the Patreon secret feed!

Check out: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠indeed.com/theconstant⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ now to start hiring
Visit our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. 
You too can get ad-free, early episodes, starting now!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠​​⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠   
⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠BUY OUR MERCH, YOU FILTHY ANIMALS!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ​ ​
The Constant is part of the ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Airwave Media⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ podcast network.​​ ​​ ​ ​​​
​Interested in advertising on The Constant? Email ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to get on board!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dust in the wind. All we are is dust in the wind. Even more so: our stuff.

Send me your best "I bet you didn't know that" story in an audio file to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠ ⁠⁠⁠ ⁠
Check out: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠indeed.com/theconstant⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ now to start hiringVisit our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. You too can get ad-free, early episodes, starting now!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠​​⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠   ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠BUY OUR MERCH, YOU FILTHY ANIMALS!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ​ ​The Constant is part of the ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Airwave Media⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ podcast network.​​ ​​ ​ ​​​Interested in advertising on The Constant? Email ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to get on board!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

All your base are belong to U.S.

Send me your best "I bet you didn't know that" story in an audio file to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠ ⁠⁠⁠
Check out: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠indeed.com/theconstant⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ now to start hiring
Visit our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. You too can get ad-free, early episodes, starting now!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠​​⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠   ⁠
⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠BUY OUR MERCH, YOU FILTHY ANIMALS!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ​ ​
The Constant is part of the ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Airwave Media⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ podcast network.​​ ​​ ​ ​​
​Interested in advertising on The Constant? Email ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to get on board!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices