The Content Mill

The door hadn’t opened in seven days. The foil letters—an ostentatious facade to this disheveled abode—peeled, flaking away from the reeded glass like the petals of lilies in late spring. Water dripped into a tin bucket, the slow staccato rapping out gunshots. I hammered the “U” key on the typewriter in time. No paper, no ribbon, just the rhythmic patter of a smoke-swirled, scotch-soaked soliloquy.

That last case rattled me: the empty house, the thumping…the cardboard cutout with horse ears. It was all too much for my frail mind. I needed to get away. I needed to find something to calm these frayed nerves. Something fast.

So, I threw on my trench coat, adjusted my hat, and walked into the early morning downpour. To the horse track. Surely nothing that could taint the soul happens there.

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Eric is MrTheHuman

Gianni is GianniDiCrosta

Nate is HeroicHeadgear

Phil is Phil Bothun

EXTRA EXTRA: Mr. Shackleton Skellington, Magnate of the Skellington Bones Xylophones fortune found GUILTY of participating in illegal bones trade with Extraterrestrial being! Sentenced to thirty years in MAXIMUM SECURITY. Mr. Skellington alluded capture for multiple weeks, until Kzzshkt Ksshzkkkt found him holed up in a compound on "Bonedown Island." Authorities are now investigating Mr. Skellington's connection to the island.

The recipient alien species, HERETOFORE UNKNOWN, has not surfaced since Mr. Skellington's capture, though a blurry image of a towering mountain of meat with a cape of human spines has surfaced.

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Eric is MrTheHuman

Gianni is GianniDiCrosta

Nate is HeroicHeadgear

Phil is Phil Bothun

The sound of sleigh bells echoed throughout the house, punctuated by staccato thumps. Holiday cheer was all around. Tinsel hung from the mantle and lights twinkled on the tree, a rotten reminder of the happiness that should've been in this house. The thumps continued, but no one answered.

I tiptoed through the house. Past the bowling ball, the toaster, and the sharpened keys of a Skellington bone xylophone that littered the steps. I was hired for one job and that machine gun thunking sounded like my first clue.

A silhouette stood framed in the second story window, the hazy smoke of a dame's last drag hanging in the air. I looked her up and down, my eyes lingering on her...ears. Horse ears. I touched her shoulder, but it was just cardboard. I knew I was in the right place.

Another thump from the drywall. Time to find him.

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Eric is MrTheHuman

Gianni is GianniDiCrosta

Nate is HeroicHeadgear

Phil is Phil Bothun

Tzzzkt tzzkkktzzk "Hello?" zzkt "is—" zzzzktkkzz "—thing on?"

"Somehow, I got turned around. On the way back from the pr—" zzzkt "—I got lost in the space-time conti—" zwwwripkktt

"I'm adrift in time, like that part in my least favorite Christopher Nolan film, Inter—" zzzrookkt

"Hold on boys, I'm—"

Well howdy kiddos and kiddettes! Welcome back to the Skellington Bones Ragtime Entertainment Hour with me, your host, "Shaky" Skellington! On today's show, we have a new guest who says he flew in from a radio station in 1990!" Pause for laughter "We've got ourselves a time traveler here! Well traveler, mind telling us your name and all about them flying cars in the distant future?"

"My name is Phil and honestly I don't know what this episode is about because I'm not in it."

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Eric is MrTheHuman

Gianni is GianniDiCrosta

Nate is HeroicHeadgear

Phil is Phil Bothun

Hello and welcome back to KACL 780, that was “Rattlin’ Bones” by the Great Jingle Tingle Band from their 1996 promotional tour with Skellington Bones.

It’s the top of the hour so we’ll have news and weather coming up on the 8s and 10s, but I’m going to open up the lines for a few minutes if you’ve got questions for your local radio psychiatrist, you can give us a call at 555-KACL.

“Hello caller, you’re on the on, how can I help you?”

”Yeah hi “Frizendo” or whatever your name is. I thought this was supposed to be a fun podcast about video game spinoffs and somehow it’s turned into some kind of elaborate prank revolving around some 1990s sitcom.”

“Sir, you seem to have the wrong number, I had no idea what you’re talking about.”

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Eric is MrTheHuman

Gianni is GianniDiCrosta

Nate is HeroicHeadgear

Phil is Phil Bothun

Hark! What doth I heareth upon the moors! 'Tis that the rattle of manacles and the xylophone timbre of thy Skellington bones?

That's right, Ghouls and Ghosts, it's our first every Halloween Episode Sponsored by Skellington Xylophones, the premier maker of bone xylophones: "It's not a 'phone if it's not bone."

This episode we dig into the spooks and the scares that get our skin a'crawlin', AND maybe the games that our weenie selves get scared by...even when you're just supposed to be having a fun puzzle-solving time. It's a haaaauntingly spooky time at the Haunted Content Mill this week and we're inviting you in...Especially you there, you tall, pale, caped honey.

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Eric is MrTheHuman

Gianni is GianniDiCrosta

Nate is HeroicHeadgear

Phil is Phil Bothun

2025 has been a banger year for games, but the show isn’t stopping! The Content Mill gets together to talk about our most anticipated games for the remainder of the year. Play along and see if you can guess what each of us is the most stoked for. It probably won’t be surprising, but it will be fun!

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Eric is MrTheHuman

Gianni is GianniDiCrosta

Nate is HeroicHeadgear

Phil is Phil Bothun

Well howdy there, partner. I see you've got quite the iron wagon there. Not seen one of them there wagons with all them angles before; you best mosey on down to the steamyard where The Doc is working hard on his latest concoctions. Oh, I don't quite know what he builds out there, but every few days, the children come out prattlin' about the latest Licensed Video Games. Now, I don't know nothing about no video games, hell, I don't know if the word video has quite been invented yet, but it's a darn-tooting Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory of delightful oddities popping out of there.

The metaphor has fully fallen apart at this point, but hey, this episode is about licensed games...the ones we remember, the ones we like, and the ones we wished existed.

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Eric is MrTheHuman

Gianni is GianniDiCrosta

Nate is HeroicHeadgear

Phil is Phil Bothun

You're really hounding for some content, huh? That makes sense, it's rough out there, best to hang out with these four chuckleheads as they debate who has the best top 5 video games from their birth year. Three old heads and a 2000s baby and you're probably thinking to yourself, well obviously the guy who has Playstation games has to win, right?

I'll never tell.

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Eric is MrTheHuman

Gianni is GianniDiCrosta

Nate is HeroicHeadgear

Phil is Phil Bothun

Well, well, well. You're back for episode two, huh? Can't say I'm all that surprised. Hey, did I ever tell you that those headphones look good on you? Well, they do, you little cutie you.

Ahem. Anyway. Welcome back to the Content Mill! Today, we're grinding up some primo flour straight from the land of floating dolphins and flowing dunes! That's right, we're reviewing Sword of the Sea, the latest game from Giant Squid. We also debut our incredibly unique, never-before-seen rating system that, honestly, is shocking no one else has used yet.

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Eric is MrTheHuman

Gianni is GianniDiCrosta

Nate is HeroicHeadgear

Phil is Phil Bothun