When you look up insecurity, it says uncertainty or anxiety about oneself; lack of confidence.

A lot of times we think insecurity comes from our past, something we did, or something someone said. It can feel like it’s just who we are.

But it’s not.

Confidence and insecurity are emotions. They are not personality traits. You are not an insecure person. You are a woman who sometimes feels insecure and sometimes feels confident.

At the core of both are the thoughts you’re thinking about yourself.

That’s the shift.

If you want to address insecurity, you don’t need to change your job, your body, or your circumstances. You look at your relationship with yourself.

That’s the base.

So instead of asking how do I become confident, ask how can I feel less insecure?

You don’t have to jump straight to confidence. You can feel curious, relaxed, connected, or even just neutral. Those emotions help bridge you there.

The work is identifying the thoughts you’re thinking about yourself.

Some are obvious. Some are sneaky. Even something like “I’m not that good” can feel harmless, but it has an impact.

When you notice those thoughts, you don’t fight them. You don’t fix them. You notice them.

And then you start changing how you talk to yourself.

Like a bestie.

Support, understanding, encouragement.

When those old thoughts pop up, they don’t hit the same. You see them for what they are—just sentences.

You’re not a victim of insecurity.

You’re a woman who feels emotions, and those emotions come from thoughts you can look at and choose on purpose.

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