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The Cost of Being the Strong One: Why Saying “No” Might Be the Most Supportive Thing You Ever Do
In this empowering conversation, host Ngozi Edema sits down with Rachel Sietzema, an emotional wellness coach, to unpack what it truly costs to always be “the strong one.” They explore how people-pleasing and over-giving slowly drain our energy, why burnout creeps in quietly, and how learning to set boundaries is one of the most loving things you can do, for yourself and for others.
Together, Ngozi and Rachel discuss:
- The hidden emotional, mental, and physical costs of constantly being dependable
- Why people-pleasing often begins as a survival strategy
- How childhood conditioning and societal expectations shape our need to be liked
- The difference between healthy service and self-sacrifice
- How to recognize the early signs of burnout before it’s too late
- Practical ways to set small, healthy boundaries
- Why saying “no” doesn’t make you selfish, it makes you sustainable
Rachel also shares her own personal journey through caregiving and grief, reminding listeners that taking care of yourself first doesn’t diminish your love for others, it strengthens it.
Key Quote:
“Being strong doesn’t mean you never say yes. It means your yes comes from a place of choice, not obligation.” — Rachel Sietzema
Connect with Rachel Sietzema:
Website: https://www.uchangeu.com.au/
Connect with Ngozi Edema:
Website: www.ngoziedema.com
Instagram: @ngoziedema
If you enjoyed this episode:
- Share it with a friend who’s always “the strong one.”
- Leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify, it helps more people find the show.
- Download Ngozi’s free 7-Day Sprint Workbook to help you reclaim your focus and energy.
- And join my Delay to Daily Action Course, at 15% off using code ACTION15
Join my newsletter for a weekly doze of motivation to help you reclaim time to do the things that matter:
https://mailchi.mp/ngoziedema.com/personal-time-audit-discover-hidden-time-wasters-and-reclaim-your-day
Also a mom can be several things in one day! Besides hosting this podcast, I write children's books and will love that check them out and gift a child in your life.
Here is a list of books authored by Ngozi Edema:
- Mama's Daycare
- Mel The Monkey And The Alligator
- The Proud Sunflower
- Bringing Africa Home: A Cookbook Of 52 Easy African Recipes
- Tyson The Lion Who Ignored His Mom's Advice
- Freddy and the Veggies
This podcast is for education only and is not a replacement for therapy. We suggest you seek out the help of a trained professional for help with your specific situation.
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By Ngozi EdemaIn this empowering conversation, host Ngozi Edema sits down with Rachel Sietzema, an emotional wellness coach, to unpack what it truly costs to always be “the strong one.” They explore how people-pleasing and over-giving slowly drain our energy, why burnout creeps in quietly, and how learning to set boundaries is one of the most loving things you can do, for yourself and for others.
Together, Ngozi and Rachel discuss:
- The hidden emotional, mental, and physical costs of constantly being dependable
- Why people-pleasing often begins as a survival strategy
- How childhood conditioning and societal expectations shape our need to be liked
- The difference between healthy service and self-sacrifice
- How to recognize the early signs of burnout before it’s too late
- Practical ways to set small, healthy boundaries
- Why saying “no” doesn’t make you selfish, it makes you sustainable
Rachel also shares her own personal journey through caregiving and grief, reminding listeners that taking care of yourself first doesn’t diminish your love for others, it strengthens it.
Key Quote:
“Being strong doesn’t mean you never say yes. It means your yes comes from a place of choice, not obligation.” — Rachel Sietzema
Connect with Rachel Sietzema:
Website: https://www.uchangeu.com.au/
Connect with Ngozi Edema:
Website: www.ngoziedema.com
Instagram: @ngoziedema
If you enjoyed this episode:
- Share it with a friend who’s always “the strong one.”
- Leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify, it helps more people find the show.
- Download Ngozi’s free 7-Day Sprint Workbook to help you reclaim your focus and energy.
- And join my Delay to Daily Action Course, at 15% off using code ACTION15
Join my newsletter for a weekly doze of motivation to help you reclaim time to do the things that matter:
https://mailchi.mp/ngoziedema.com/personal-time-audit-discover-hidden-time-wasters-and-reclaim-your-day
Also a mom can be several things in one day! Besides hosting this podcast, I write children's books and will love that check them out and gift a child in your life.
Here is a list of books authored by Ngozi Edema:
- Mama's Daycare
- Mel The Monkey And The Alligator
- The Proud Sunflower
- Bringing Africa Home: A Cookbook Of 52 Easy African Recipes
- Tyson The Lion Who Ignored His Mom's Advice
- Freddy and the Veggies
This podcast is for education only and is not a replacement for therapy. We suggest you seek out the help of a trained professional for help with your specific situation.