      "People can change and be happy from this moment onward . . . the problem is not one of ability, but of courage." —from the book The Courage to Be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga   "As long as one keeps searching, the answers come." American folk singer Joan Baez certainly narrows down succinctly and accurately the practice of finding our way; however, along the way toward the revelation of the answers, we must be courageous enough to feel uncomfortable for portions of the journey as well as capable of homing in on the gems of wisdom and letting go of needing to be agile when trying something new in our lives.     Today, I am excited to share with you a handful of insights the book The Courage to Be Disliked taught me (there are soooooo many more - I highly recommend reading the book). On the surface, each is easy to comprehend, but the first time we put the practice into use, it may be difficult. With time and consistent effort however, the practice will become habituated and before we realize it, our lives, our everyday lives and the longview of our lives, will change for the better. Let's take a look at the list.    Visit the full Show Notes on The Simply Luxurious Life — thesimplyluxuriouslife.com/podcast301     

301: The Courage to Live Fully & Deeply: 7 Ideas to Put into Practice for a Life of True Contentment

The simple sophisticate is someone who prefers quality over quantity, sensible living over mindless consumption, personal style instead of trendy fashions, has an insatiable curiosity for life’s endless questions and a desire to live a truly fulfilling life rather than being led around by the nose. Inspired by her lifestyle blog The Simply Luxurious Life, Shannon Ables (the original Simple Sophisticate) shares with listeners tips on how to live a refined life on an everyday income, a life of true contentment. Founded on the principle of the art of living a life of quality over quantity, episodes explore topics ranging from creating an everyday life you love living, strengthening mindfulness practices, preparing seasonally delicious meals, building a capsule wardrobe, traveling the world (Francophiles and Anglophiles tune in as Paris as well as the English countryside are favorite destinations), and living life to the fullest without breaking the bank because living well is really quite simple.

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We each have an amazing super power within us that when we understand how it works, transforms the quality of our lives. Instead of living in fear, constantly worrying and doubting the goodness of our fellow human beings or that our dreams can come true, when we understand how the Salience Network works in our mind, we unwrap a priceless gift. The salience network is the cognitive system the brain uses to determine what is important, so if we don't understand the components of and how it functions, we can be at its mercy and ultimately relinquish the keys to what will open the door to living a life of true contentment. What we will explore today are 5 ways to both heal as well as unlearned unhelpful defaults of our mind and begin to settle with ease into using the parasympathetic nervous system rather than the sympathetic nervous system which will then provide us the ability and mental energy to manifest the intentions we have set for ourselves.   Explore the Show Notes for the episode on TSLL blog - https://thesimplyluxuriouslife.com/podcast381 

381: The Power of the Clarity of Our Intention AND Where We Direct Our Attention: Understanding Our Mind

Rituals, whether designed by us solely for ourselves, or legacy rituals, or relationship or group rituals that involve others, give us more than can be imagined to deepen the quality of our life than we thought possible prior to fully engaging and incorporating them into our lives. You may recognize Dr. Michael Norton's name, a professor of business administration at Harvard Business School, as he co-wrote a book I thoroughly enjoyed and often sited for over a decade on the effects of money and happiness with Elizabeth Dunn, Happy Money: The Science of Happier Spending (if you haven't read it, I highly recommend it, as their work has been sited on TSLL as well). Released just this past April, Norton's new book, The Ritual Effect, shares the research behind the effects of rituals on our daily life, and while he begins with sharing rituals' origins which we might often imagine when we hear the word, those "rigid, communal practices" which he describes as legacy rituals, the primary focus rests upon daily life and all of the potential benefits rituals can give us whether it be in our daily routine, or when we step into a new life chapter, or when we say goodbye to someone for any number of reasons, how we work, how we connect and strength relationships, how we design holidays with family and blended families, how to heal and how to recognize when rituals are causing the problem of division for example or exclusion. For our purposes in today's episode we're going to focus primarily on exactly what constitutes a ritual, the importance of having them in our lives and where to incorporate them, as well as sprinkle examples throughout the conversation (so be sure to tune in to the audio version of this episode if you are reading the Show Notes here on the blog :)).   Find the Show Notes on TSLL blog - https://thesimplyluxuriouslife.com/podcast380 

380: How Rituals Enrich Our Lives IF We Choose and Engage with Intention

 "We are not born with the secret of how to live [well], and too many of us never learn it. There is nothing cold-blooded or mechanical about it, but there are many things we have to learn to do . . . the first thing is to realize we've probably been looking in the wrong place. The source is not outside us; it is within." —Mildred Newman & Bernard Berkowitz, authors of How to Be Your Own Best Friend Befriend yourself and you have a friend for life. This simple saying, often expressed, while true, is often not understood as to how it can be possible. But the most awesome news I want to share with you today is that you have had the answers to so much of the peace, calm, and clarity you have been seeking traveling within you all this time. How to tap into and what exactly are you looking for? That is what we are going to talk about today. Inspired by a book that was written in 1971 Mildred Newman and her husband, both psychologists, Bernard Berkowitz, the title was originally How To be Your Own Best Friend: A Conversation With Two Psychoanalysts. Consisting of only 74 pages, their insights are shared, as this title suggests, in conversation form - questions followed by answers. While little known when the couple originally self-published, it was with the help of author, screenwriter and director  Nora Ephron, who upon reading the book quite liked it so she introduced the authors to her book agent upon which it then became a national bestseller (learn more about how she helped in  this article published earlier this year). Picking up my own copy and zooming through it, I found common sense advice, grounded in approachable guidance sharing reminders and nudges of how we can help ourselves out but often are too timid to do so due to a variety of cultural circumstances and pressures. As I read, the overlap of choosing to be your best friend and finding and experiencing contentment quickly became apparent, and having just wrapped up producing all of the filmed lessons for TSLL's Contentment Masterclass, as you will discover when you enroll, knowing ourselves and honoring what we find to be true for ourselves resides at the core of a fulfilling life. In the words of the authors, becoming our best friend is sage wisdom to follow. However, what does that look like? Being our own best friend? That's what I want to share with you today and the benefits of doing so. Let's get started.   View the Show Notes on the blog: https://thesimplyluxuriouslife.com/podcast379 

379: How (and Why) to Be Your Own Best Friend

 "Composting what was into what will be." Mother Nature and the cycle of seasons provide endless life lessons and nourishing guidance if we are wise enough to heed her teachings. More specifically, spring's arrival, the season as we all know that introduces itself after winter, the latter season of which for many of us can be frigid, keeping us more home-bound and bundled up far more often than we might prefer as well as to cause us to take stock of our home environment most directly and intimately. It was upon hearing the statement above in a recent yoga class that I immediately smiled. Why? Well, there is much truth in this literal description of how compost is created and as to why it applies to our lives, it can figuratively be true as well. However . . . We have to choose, and thus remember, to compost in the first place! Spring gifts us with an abundance of wonderments and opportunities to apply what we have been investing in and working on during winter, or healing or resting in order to feel rejuvenated and reenergized. So not only do we need to remember to view winter as an opportunity to tend to what needs our attention, we must also be courageous enough to step forward into what that rest has given us. Simply because we plant, water and fertilize a new plant in spring, or pot up a dahlia tuber in spring, doesn't mean the beauty we hope to come will appear in spring. No, it will not. The dahlias take around 100 days to share their first flower, but once they begin flowering, so long as they have been planted in their right conditions and the gardener keeps dead-heading, the blooms keep on coming until the first frost in early fall. This is beautiful reminder to be patient with ourselves and the changes we have begun to put into place, or the steps we have begun to take that will eventually lead us where we want to arrive. Spring is the beginning of the new journey, but we may not arrive where we wish to go until Summer or early Fall, but we will never arrive if we don't choose to compost first. In today's episode we will explore eight instances in our life when unwanted moments have happened and how to compost them into something we do want. I welcome you to join us and tune in.   Have a look at the Show Notes for the episode, #378 here - https://thesimplyluxuriouslife.com/podcast378 

378: Choose to Compost Your Past: How the Arrival of the Spring Season is a Metaphor for Life

Author and professor of computer science at Georgetown University Cal Newport's latest book Slow Productivity: The Lost Art of Accomplishment without Burnout details exactly how and where in our daily lives and throughout the year we can apply the Slow Productivity approach and why it works. In today's episode I will be sharing with you 10 takeaways that caught my eye as areas of interest that I thought would interest TSLL readers/podcast listeners, and if what you discover here speaks to you, I encourage you to pick up the book as far more detail and information is shared. Throughout the discussion today, I will be dovetailing the ideas Newport suggests with how it overlaps with living simply luxuriously because as is made clear from the name given to his approach, the concept of quality versus quantity is the key thread that runs through Slow Productivity, something that TSLL Community is all too familiar as we individually cultivate our simply luxurious lives.   Check out the detailed Show Notes - https://thesimplyluxuriouslife.com/podcast377 

301: The Courage to Live Fully & Deeply: 7 Ideas to Put into Practice for a Life of True Contentment

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